Rising Tide
by kdinthecity
Summary: Sequel to Darkness Before Dawn, after crazy events at the Fire Nation's Winter Solstice Festival, Zuko is whisked away by his friends for a long-awaited reunion on Ember Island. Katara learns of prophesies from the Fire Sages, a royal wedding occurs in Ba Sing Se, and Zuko uncovers more family drama than he ever thought possible.
1. Leader of the Pack

Laughter echoed through the Fire Nation palace corridors. It was a peculiar sound and not one that usually graced the otherwise solemn residence that happened to house a succession of the most brutal rulers the world had ever seen. Where raging and scheming Fire Lords once tread the darkened hallways, the newest and youngest of them now followed the source of the sound, wearing his own characteristic scowl. He nodded to a guard who shared an equally grim expression before pushing through large ebony doors etched with decorative flames.

"Aang, just what do you think you're doing?" Zuko crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame.

"This room is ah-mazing! Just look at the size of this bed!" a bald, bright-eyed boy said in between bounces.

The teenage Fire Lord blanched. A memory of jumping on that very same bed surfaced, but his own smiles had disappeared quickly when the face of his father appeared in the doorway. That may have been the last time laughter was heard in this room.

He shook his head, hoping to shake the memory with it. "I know, Aang. This was my room as a kid."

"Wow, I had to share a room with ten other kids! You were so luh—" The word, _lucky,_ died in Aang's throat. They both knew it wasn't true. Being born into _this_ particular royal family came with a price.

"Hey! Come jump with me!"

Zuko scoffed. "Seriously? My eighteenth birthday is tomorrow. I think I'm a little old for… you know…"

He might have joined the Avatar anyway after the pathetic polar dog eyes the other boy made at him, but a blur of blue brushed past him, almost knocking him off balance.

"Pillow fight!" Sokka whooped before careening into Aang, landing both boys in a pile of lanky limbs and crimson cushions.

Zuko laughed at the sight of his friends in their frenzy. _Good, someone else can entertain Aang._ He knew he should probably go check on party preparations or receive some other guests, but for some reason, he stayed rooted to the spot. He realized his mistake too late when a pillow came flying with unusual force toward his face. That had to be an airbending trick, he guessed, and suddenly he couldn't resist the urge to join the fight anymore.

Zuko never knew that his pillows were filled with gater-goose feathers until the entire room was covered in them. And even though his face was hot from exertion and his throat was raw from laughing, he felt good… happy… content… _alive._ But not completely free… because when he looked at the mess, his stomach flipped as if he expected a scolding parent to burst through the door at any second. _As if my father were simply the scolding type…_

It wasn't a parent who found them, but it might as well have been.

"What are you doing!?" Katara couldn't have looked more motherly at that moment with her hands on her hips and her toe furiously tapping the ground.

Sokka pointed at Aang. "He started it." The Avatar just smiled. Zuko scowled.

"That's real mature, Sokka," Katara chided her brother. "I might have expected this from Aang, but you?" Zuko felt her eyes on him. His stomach fluttered again, but this time, it wasn't from fear. A little bit from nerves, maybe, but more from affection. _She is even beautiful when she is mad. And she'll make a great mother someday._

"I'll clean it up, Katara," Aang said. With a sweep of his hand followed by a large gust of air, all of the feathers fell neatly into a pile at her feet.

"Hmph," she grumbled, but her facade softened as soon as she met Zuko's eyes. They were warm and wanting, his overall body language conveyed relief and submission. Then it was her stomach that was turning somersaults. She wondered if she could somehow convince Sokka and Aang to leave them alone.

* * *

Zuko didn't know if these formal dinners of diplomatic nature had seating assignments or not. He always knew that his place was at the head of the table, and his uncle usually took care of the rest. It surprised him, though, when the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe took the seat next to him. Nerves shot through him again, like he was a child caught jumping on the bed. Well, there had been a bed… and this man's daughter… he gulped.

"G-g-ood evening, Sir Hakoda—err, I mean, Chief Hakoda, sir." Zuko quickly took a sip of wine since his mouth had suddenly gone dry.

"Hakoda is fine." The man reached for his own wine glass. "Or Chief Hakoda if you need to keep up appearances in such settings." He tilted his glass toward the table full of visiting dignitaries from all over the world.

"Rrrright, um…" Zuko fidgeted. "So, how are things in the South Pole?"

"Cold," the Water Tribesman said automatically.

"Heh heh," Zuko chuckled, trying to force himself to relax.

"We celebrate the Winter Solstice, too," Hakoda continued. "But in a much different way."

"Sorry to take you away from your traditions, sir," Zuko said softly.

"Oh, no! I didn't mean it like that! It's a little less celebratory and more, shall we say, ritualistic? We make offerings to the sun and moon spirits to aid us through the impending winter. I think I'd much rather… be here… for your birthday." Hakoda smiled widely, and Zuko found a little comfort in those familiar blue eyes.

"You guys pay homage to… the sun spirit? Like Agni?"

"That's the one," Hakoda replied.

"Huh. I never knew. I guess I just thought—"

"That we are so different? The nations may be separate, but the spirit world transcends them all. I have this theory that we _all_ lived together in harmony once, spirits and humans alike."

"Hmm. I guess I've never been very spiritual myself."

"Well, I _used to_ think the spirits had forsaken the Fire Nation. And maybe they had, I don't know. Forsaken, perhaps, but not forgotten. Hope came in the form of a new leader when the Fire Nation needed redemption the most."

Zuko blushed, then nodded. He hardly believed in himself. He did believe in the spirits, though. His uncle had traveled to the spirit world. He was even friends with the Avatar. He just didn't know what they could— _or should_ —mean to him personally. And he certainly didn't know how to redeem his country.

"We're not meant to journey alone, Fire Lord. My spiritual beliefs are deeply rooted in my people. _You_ are finding new people it seems… you'll figure out what you believe sooner or later. And it's OK to let someone else show you the way."

Zuko sighed. If he could barely trust himself, how could he trust others? He _was_ trying, though…

"Thanks, sir. I, uh, appreciate your wisdom," Zuko said to a still-smiling Hakoda. He thought maybe this man had smiled at him more in the last fifteen minutes than his father had his whole life.

"Ha! That'll change! You'll probably get tired of it soon enough!" The chief clapped a hand on the Fire Lord's back, effectively earning him a glare from Katara who was sitting further down the table. Zuko met her eyes and shrugged.

Hakoda leaned in toward the younger boy. "If she's anything like her mother, her bark is worse than her bite. Like a tiger seal, we say down south."

The tribesman laughed at Zuko's dumbfound expression. "Tiger seals seem scary because of the stripes, like a tiger, you know?" Hakoda explained. "And they bark at you really loud which can make you jump right out of your parka. But they don't have any teeth. They just swallow fish whole, so…"

"I think what you're trying to tell me is that if I get on Katara's bad side, she's going to swallow me whole?"

Hakoda roared with laughter then, causing a few sets of raised eyebrows to turn their way. "Ha, good one there, son! Or perhaps the moral of the story is to keep your parka tightly fastened at all times."

The man gave him a wink, but the laughter was gone and so was his smile. Zuko wasn't sure if his brain felt muddled from the conversation or the wine, but he knew that the color of his face matched that of his drink.

It wasn't the first time during Zuko's series of birthday festivities that the Fire Lord wished he could simply slip away and disappear.

* * *

"What was my dad talking about at dinner?"

Zuko wondered why his girlfriend would ask such a question during the middle of a heavy make-out session.

"S-s-seals," he said breathily while her kisses teased at the tender skin on his neck. "I mean, uh—s-s-spirits."

Katara pushed herself up on her elbows so she could see him better. "So, what was it? Seals or spirits? Or was it… the seal spirit?"

"Is there such a thing?" Zuko's alcohol-addled mind told him to stop talking. Usually he opted for their anticipated activity over talking anyway. _What is wrong with me?_

"Oh, it's a Southern Water Tribe legend." Katara stroked his ear in the way that drove him crazy. "But if my dad already told you, then I'm sure you don't want to hear it again."

"Can we _please_ stop talking about your dad?" Zuko cupped her cheek intent on kissing those soft lips when there was a knock at the door.

"The birthday boy is popular tonight," Katara sighed as she rolled off the bed. It had only been the third interruption. She yawned. "I'll see you tomorrow, Zuko."

As she slipped away through a secret passageway, he knew she'd come back later. Even still, he begrudgingly answered the door.

"Sir, there's a Chief Hakoda who would like to speak with you," the guard informed him.

 _Of course._

"Show him to my office. I will meet him there," Zuko replied gruffly.

If it weren't for the broader shoulders and thicker hair, Zuko might have mistaken Hakoda for Sokka. The younger had been in the exact same position not three weeks prior, inspecting the contents of the liquor cabinet, when the Fire Lord found him in his office.

"This is quite a collection you have here," Hakoda said without turning to face him.

"Err, thanks. It's my—um, nevermind." Zuko wondered if his father's possessions would ever actually feel like _his._

"Well, I brought something you can add to it, although it's not as exotic as the rest." The Water Tribesman revealed a dark green glass bottle and set it down on the desk. The color reminded Zuko of seaweed, and when he saw the emblem with two koi fish circling each other, he knew what it was.

"Tui and La," he said.

"So, you've heard of it?" Hakoda raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. But I thought it was for weddings." At the mentioning of the word in the presence of his girlfriend's father, Zuko felt his pulse quicken. Then when he considered the possible implication of Hakoda giving him a bottle, his face flushed.

"It's a _special occasion_ drink, son. I brought it for your birthday."

Zuko closed his eyes and took a deep breath. _Son._ Hakoda said the word in such a casual— _almost endearing_ —way. _Like he means something by it, wedding drink aside._

He jumped when Hakoda placed a firm hand on his shoulder. "Listen, Zuko. I think you're a good kid. You don't have to be nervous around me."

Zuko nodded, although still uncertain. He eyed the bottle on his desk, figuring he was supposed to offer the man a drink. He knew he didn't like the stuff, though. Maybe Hakoda was testing him like Sokka had…

He made the decision before he really knew what he was doing. Zuko picked up the Tui and La bottle, briefly admired the craftsmanship of the label, and then deposited it on a shelf in the liquor cabinet. Next, he procured an amber-colored bottle and held it out for the other man to see.

"I only have a little bit of this left, but it's my favorite," Zuko said. "I was wondering if you would do me the honor of sharing the last of it."

"Zuko, this is extremely rare! They don't even make this in the Swamp Tribe anymore!" Hakoda's crystal blue eyes were alight. Zuko noticed they looked more like ice than the ocean, _like Katara's._ He retrieved two shot glasses and poured.

"To family," Zuko said for the toast. It just seemed like the thing to say.

"And the future," Hakoda added.

"Mmmmmm," they both said in unison after tasting the sweet earthiness of the whiskey.

"You know why they stopped using the banyan tree for barreling?" Hakoda asked after a few sips of his drink.

"Mmm, no. But if you have the same interest and knowledge of these things as your son, I'm sure you'll tell me."

"Sokka knows about… liquor?"

Zuko coughed when he took a larger sip than he intended. "Um, yeah. He knows some. Not all the intended purposes for Tui and La, I guess."

"Heh. Well, that's a drink to symbolize harmony. It makes the most sense for weddings. Perhaps it was a stretch for one's birthday…"

"If you were testing me to see what I would do when I drank it, I've had it before, and I think it's awful. But I am able to stomach it… and even smile afterward." Zuko felt grateful that the whiskey had helped him relax some. He decided that alcohol should be present at all such conversations between young men and their potential fathers-in-law. But not too much drinking… lest he say something he should regret.

Hakoda laughed. It was deep and hearty. Zuko liked the sound of it. He found it comforting, and he realized that lately there had been a lot of laughter surrounding him. It felt good.

"That means you're a good diplomat, son," Hakoda said after collecting himself. "You do well under pressure, you can see through the other man's tricks, yet still wear a smile when things have left a bitter taste in your mouth."

Zuko nodded. He wasn't used to receiving compliments, but it meant a great deal to hear kind words from the Water Tribe Chief, father of his girlfriend or not.

"Oh! I almost forgot! I actually got you a real present." Hakoda handed over a small bundle of cloth and twine. Zuko carefully unwrapped it and held up the Water Tribe weapon with a look of awe. He recognized the blade as something Sokka had, a versatile tool for hunting that was also apparently useful for… what was it? Shaving?

"It's made from the jawbone and teeth of an arctic wolf," Hakoda explained. "It's used primarily for hunting, but can be very utilitarian." Zuko noticed the man was stroking his chin and assumed that yes, this blade was akin to a straight razor.

"Thank you, sir. The craftsmanship is exquisite." Zuko turned it over in his hand, wondering if the chief had made it himself.

"Admittedly when I heard about the attack here—" Hakoda cleared his throat, "—on your mother… I thought you might be able to use something small and easy to conceal… for protection. Sorry if that sounds, I don't know—"

"No. It's great—I mean, thanks. One can never be too careful." Zuko ran his thumb across the jagged edge of the blade, noting the indentations of what definitely used to be a wolf's teeth.

"The jaw blade is significant in that when a warrior kills a wolf, it is only out of self-defense. They can be aggressive creatures, yes, but it is usually because they are so protective of each other. They travel in packs, so when you make your weapon, it is expected that you leave the first kill you make with it behind for the wolf's family."

"Did you—was it you that—"

"Yes. I killed the wolf, but it was long ago. Two jaw bones… one for my son, although he was very little at the time. The other… well, I never expected Katara to carry a weapon. But I knew she'd find someone special… someday."

"I…uhh…" Zuko gaped at the chief. Before he had a chance to say anything further—not that adequate words were coming to mind—he found himself wrapped up in Hakoda's hug. The older man then whispered, "Just remember, wolves travel in packs. They look out for each other. Family is important."

The rest was left unspoken, but Zuko felt it. _You are important. You are family._

* * *

 **A/N:** Welcome to _Rising Tide_ , sequel to _Darkness Before Dawn_. Here we have some Hakoda love because honestly, I think Zuko needs all the love and support he can get. I wrote this chapter while I was editing something from DBD and was getting really mad at Ozai, you know, about as mad as one can get at a fictitious character. I didn't anticipate that this first chapter would mirror the last chapter with Iroh so nicely, but the point is that Zuko can have positive father figures in his life and eventually leave all this Ozai madness behind him... eventually.

If this scene seems a bit random with Hakoda (like how well does he know Zuko? how often do they see each other, etc?) then perhaps it is, a little. I don't present much backstory, but Hakoda knows how much Katara and Zuko love each other, and he's seen enough evidence that Zuko is a good man who cares deeply for his daughter. I also imagine that Hakoda shows up a week or so before the Solstice Festival, so they've had some time to spend together recently.

Hakoda will play more of a role in the third installment of the trilogy, but I don't want to get ahead of myself. This is just the beginning of the second part, so thanks for hanging with me for round two, and without further ado...


	2. Winds of Change

On most mornings, the young Fire Lord woke up with a certain waterbender curled up behind him with her chin tucked into the crook of his neck. Or perhaps her head rested on his chest with an arm lazily draped across his stomach. Or she could be on the other side of the bed with all the sheets wrapped around her, a tangle of curls and blue pajamas, oblivious that she'd left him cold and coverless in the night. Well, he _said_ he was cold just to tease her. A firebender never gets cold. _Clearly, you haven't spent much time in the South Pole_ had been her clever retort.

 _Since when did we become like an old married couple?_ This was Zuko's first thought on the morning of his 18th birthday. He expected to find Katara-the-Cover-Stealer on the other side of the bed, but she wasn't. He squinted in the dim morning light toward the dark corner where the entrance to the secret passageway was. It was still too early for her to have come and left again. Besides, she was _not_ an early riser. _Perhaps she never came…_

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Something came bounding out from the dark corner, and it was decidedly _not_ Katara.

"Aang! What in Angi's name are you doing!?"

"I'm the first to wish you happy birthday!" The airbender rocked back and forth on his heels looking quite pleased with himself.

"Yeah, but where did you come from?" Zuko instinctively pulled the sheet up to cover his bare chest which he then realized was silly since he used to train shirtless with Aang. They also used to camp out together and wake up side by side each morning. Regardless, the current situation made him feel awkward. _I was expecting Katara…_

"Well, I felt an air draft coming from the wall in your old room," Aang explained. "I pushed on this indentation, and a door opened up! So I followed it, and this is the first place it led to. You didn't know about it?"

"I…" _Did my father ever use a passageway between my room and his? I don't think so…_ "I know there's a whole series of passageways. I haven't figured out where all of them go, yet."

"Oh. You should do that. Seems unsafe to not know… especially the ones that lead into your own room." Aang twisted his face into a scowl.

"I know. I'll get Toph to help." Zuko stood and retrieved a tunic from his wardrobe.

"Oh! I have a present for you! Can I be the first person to give you a present on your birthday!?" Aang's characteristic smile returned, and he started bouncing again.

"If you don't count the cheaters who gave me their presents early, then yes." Zuko laughed and shook his head in amusement at his friend. _He's more excited about my birthday than I am._ Aang disappeared through the shadows and materialized mere seconds later holding a good-sized wooden box. Zuko removed the lid and carefully lifted a set of metal tubes that appeared to be connected by a thick cording of sorts. "It's a…"

"They're wind chimes," Aang said. "You hang them up outside, and they make music when the wind blows. The different lengths of the metal tubes make the different notes."

Zuko held the top of the round disc that the tubes connected to and extended his arm out so that the wind chimes were suspended in air. Aang then sent a small burst toward them, bringing forth a melodious series of clangs that caused both young men to smile.

"It's amazing, Aang. Did you—"

"I just learned how to metalbend. It's my first project. Or well, I practiced a lot with forks and spoons first."

Zuko cautiously eyed the doors to the balcony adjacent to his room. He hadn't opened them in nearly a year, but he had been letting go of a lot of fears lately. Aang followed his gaze across the room and understood.

"Zuko, are you sure?"

"Where else would I put them? Besides, I miss watching the sunsets."

With Zuko still holding the wind chimes, Aang fiddled with the rusty locks until the balcony doors swung open. The crisp morning air met them, and it nearly took Zuko's breath away. A shiver went up his spine. _Winter in the Fire Nation._

It was shortly after his seventeenth birthday that arrows rained down on this very balcony. It had been a small-scale assassination attempt, a group of disgruntled high-ranking army officers who had struggled to find work—and purpose—after the war. It served as a reminder that his position of power would always come with threats, and that the delicate state of peace in the world was paper thin at best.

Aang hung the wind chimes, and as Zuko listened to their song match tempo with the early morning breeze, he sighed. The sound comforted him, and the memories of fear began to fade.

"There's another reason I made them for you." Aang joined Zuko in resting his elbows on the balcony ledge. "They're a traditional Air Nomad craft, as you'd probably guess… because of the wind and all. But the monks teach that the music is pure because the tubes are hollow, empty. This is how we can achieve peace, by emptying ourselves of all our pain and worries."

"If only it were that easy."

"Well, exactly," Aang continued. "So, the wind chimes are supposed to help. To ward off bad feelings… and… stuff. Listen to the music, Zuko. Especially at night, to help with… well, you know…"

"How did you know about… my nightmares?"

"Well, I didn't know for sure… until now." Aang shrugged. "But I have them, too. So I figured if I have them after one battle with your father, then you must—"

"You have nightmares about Ozai?"

"Uhhh… you should've seen him on the day of Sozin's Comet, Zuko. He was—"

"Yeah, ok. I get it. Umm, I'd rather not… on my birthday…"

Zuko tried to shake the unbidden images of his raging father combined with the consuming fire effected by the comet. Zuko had felt the power burning within himself that day. He could only imagine what such a sensation would do to a man like Ozai… it would be anyone's nightmare. When he felt his breath start to quicken, Zuko then focused on the tones of the wind chimes. So random, yet in harmony. Contained by metal and string, yet so free. It helped. It really did.

"Of course." Aang smiled brightly, seemingly unaware that Zuko's mind went there and back again. "Breakfast then?"

Zuko nodded and returned the Avatar's smile. "Hey, thanks for the wind chimes. They're really great."

After they had left the room, another figure emerged from the dark corner. Fighting a pang of disappointment that she hadn't been the first to wish Zuko a happy birthday— _with a kiss and maybe something more_ —Katara set about a most important task. She needed to pack a bag for the Fire Lord's upcoming trip to Ember Island. The plans were in place, the day had arrived. Secret Operation Winter Solstice, or SOWS as Iroh had called it, was finally underway.

* * *

The top leaders from each nation had been invited to breakfast in the palace dining hall. It should not have surprised Katara that Zuko would strike up a conversation about politics with King Kuei that would last the duration of their meal and continue the entire walk back to the Earth Kingdom Embassy afterward. _Ugh, this is why we have to get away for his birthday…_

It wasn't that politics didn't interest Katara. Such topics normally intrigued her, especially since she had recently learned that Zuko didn't actually hate them. Lately they'd had several invigorating conversations on international affairs, in fact. But when Suki fell in step with them, Katara realized it had been so long since she'd had a girl her own age to talk to, the subject of their conversation naturally went a different direction.

"My skin is soooo dry in Two Rivers. I have to import this special soybean oil from Kyoshi just to keep moisturized!" Suki lamented.

"Ugh, I know. My hair does not know what to do with the heat and humidity here. It is always a crazy curly mess!" Katara ran her fingers through her tangled tresses.

"Oooh, let's fix each other's hair for the festival! Want to come to my room later?"

"Oooh, and makeup, too!" The two girls squealed in delight.

Zuko and Kuei glanced back at them briefly, rolled their eyes at each other, and jumped right back into a conversation about trade routes along the Chalang River. When Katara looked past them to the embassy courtyard, she saw Song, Keui's betrothed and the future queen of the Earth Kingdom, waiting there.

"Song!" Katara called her over. The young woman appeared relieved to see someone she recognized. "Suki and I were just planning to meet in her room to get ready for the festival. Would you like to join us?"

"Oh, sure. That sounds like fun." Song looked imploringly at Kuei, but it seemed that King and Fire Lord were now engaged in full-on negotiations, and no one was going to get a word in edgewise.

Suki leaned in toward the other two girls. "I didn't know they got along this well. Things were so tense at the peace talks last year."

"Fire Lord Zuko came to visit in the spring and then again in the summer. He's been so proactive with all the peacemaking efforts, especially where the colonies are concerned. Plus, things are always better when the Dowager is not hovering…" Song shrugged.

"Has she really backed off?" Katara found it hard to imagine that Kuei's mother would really loosen her grip, but stranger things had happened.

"She's left him alone for the most part, yes. She's completely consumed with the wedding, though. If I had it _my_ way, we would've been married a year ago!"

"Song, I'm so sorry. She really is—is she here?" Katara wanted to speak her mind about the Earth Kingdom Dowager, but she figured if Zuko had been able to make amends—or at least learn to tolerate the insufferable woman—she could, too.

"No, thank the spirits! But she did feel compelled to pick out a dress for me." Song frowned. "She doesn't trust my low class tastes."

"I'm sure it's a lovely dress." Suki linked her elbow with Song's. "Come on, let's go! Katara, go get your stuff and meet us in my room!"

* * *

It was indeed a lovely dress—green, of course, but perfectly tailored and exquisitely designed. Katara marveled at the deep emerald color and decided that Song looked like just that, a gemstone—perhaps not as polished as her future mother-in-law would like, but most definitely radiant, and even better, multi-faceted. She would be an active and passionate queen, not the type to just sit back and look pretty at her husband's side.

Then Katara saw another jewel enter her field of view. She expected a second green-clad girl to emerge from the dressing room, but instead the sight of Suki wearing sapphire made her jaw drop.

"I'm hoping Sokka will have that reaction, too." Suki gauged Katara's reaction with curiosity and satisfaction.

"Oh, he will. Trust me," Katara assured her. "But why not green? I guess I figured everyone would wear their nation's colors for the festival."

"Well, the Two Rivers model is pushing toward something different, I guess. An international city with representative rule. Sokka and I are always talking about being neutral and impartial while serving on the council…"

"So you chose deep blue because it communicates your commitment to international cooperation and not because it happens to match your eyes perfectly, accent your beautiful red hair, and also happens to be my brother's favorite color?" Katara raised an eyebrow at her friend.

"That shows what you know. Sokka's favorite color is orange." Suki's smirk quickly faded into a drawn-out sigh. She twirled around in front of the mirror, but suddenly looked doubtful.

"It's beautiful, and he will love it," Song said. "Speaking of the Water Tribe blue, Katara, where is your dress?"

"Oh, I am still fussing with my hair! I can't get these frizzies to calm down." Katara patted the top of her head. After living in the Fire Nation for over a year, she knew her efforts were futile especially with the winter wind coming into play.

"Oh! I have just the thing!" Suki rummaged through her bag and procured a small bottle. "Soybean oil works wonders for your hair, too!" She placed a small dab of the oil in her palm, rubbed her hands together, and worked it through Katara's hair. "It's lightweight, so it won't make your hair look greasy."

Katara admired the obvious improvement the oil had made. "Wow, this soybean stuff is really great, huh?"

"We grow a lot of them on Kyoshi Island. They're high in protein, therefore a dietary staple there. Of course, you've seen what it can do for skin and hair. Oh, and it's the base for the Kiyoshi Tablet as well."

"Ohhhhh, right!" Katara nodded her comprehension.

"Speaking of, do you need any more? I've brought some for you if you need to restock." Suki started sorting through her bag again.

"Actually, since I work at the hospital now, I've got regular access to them. Thanks, though. The Fire Nation's version is made from yams. Interesting, huh? I guess they grow better in this hot climate."

"Excuse me." Song cleared her throat. "But what are you two talking about?"

Katara and Suki both whirled around to face the queen-to-be. "Birth control," Suki said. "Need any?"

"I…uh, yes. If you're offering."

"Does the Earth Kingdom have its own version?" Katara thought the science behind it all was fascinating even though she wasn't quite sure how it worked.

"I… wouldn't know. We haven't…" Song blushed.

"What?" Katara asked the question but knew the idea wasn't too far-fetched. She had told herself once upon a time that she planned to wait, too. However, there was something about how long it took her and Zuko to actually get together and the depth of their friendship that had developed in the meantime that flowed quite naturally into intimacy.

"It wouldn't be proper, according to the Dowager. This is one message she's drilled into him pretty hard, I figure, and I respect that. This is another reason why I pushed for an earlier wedding. But the worst part is, information about birth control in Ba Sing Se is very scarce. When I asked the Dowager about it, she told me I didn't need it, because once we got married, my only job would be to produce heirs anyway." The redness is Song's face deepened, but not from embarrassment.

"That's horrible. How can she of all people say that? She obviously enjoys her power, why not empower other women?" Katara shared her anger.

"I d-d-on't know, Katara, but it's not just her. The idea is everywhere. That women are to be controlled. Submissive. I mean, you know about what happened with some of the Joo Dees…"

Their collective gasps were followed by a somber silence.

"Well, I'd like the pills for myself. I'm not planning to have a baby right off the bat. I have other projects I'd like to implement when I become queen, most of them centered around women and children's rights. We have an alarming number of overcrowded orphanages especially in the lower districts. So, _that's_ what often happens when a woman gets pregnant unexpectedly. So, I'd like to explore trade opportunities with either Kyoshi or the Fire Nation for these contraceptives. For the women in the Earth Kingdom, this is long overdue."

To say Katara had been inspired would be an understatement. Song had ideas, and compassion, and practical insight, and personal experience… and soon she would be in a position to actually render change. Suddenly the prospect of becoming Fire Lady became so much more than the dream of whimsical wedding planning… or the fear of what the Fire Sages might think of her. There was a nation—and a whole world—full of people who were broken and hurting, and she could actually _do_ something about it.

"Katara?" Song's voice broke through her thoughts. "What about your dress?"

"Yeah, _Ambassador_ Waterbender," Suki echoed. "I want to see if you chose blue or red."

Katara smiled at her friends. "Actually, neither."

* * *

 **A/N:** So, yes, I'm introducing a little more politics in this fic than the last one, but in no way am I intending for this to be _political_. I don't have an agenda, and I'm not trying to make a statement even though I realize that can't necessarily be helped. What I _am_ trying to do is show that a group of young people are emerging into positions of influence, and they are forming their own ideas about the world.

The Kyoshi Tablet is not my invention, and Katara and Suki had another conversation about contraceptives in _Not Stalking Zuko_ , Chapter 11: Misunderstandings Involving Penguins. While I know the Avatar world may predate the actual introduction of "the pill," I had to include it (and the scientific bit about soybeans and yams which were the pioneer ingredients of synthetic hormones). If I'm going to have teenagers having sex in my fic, then they have to be smart about it. I know I don't even address other _issues_ , so let's just say that Suki and Sokka and Zuko and Katara have only been with each other and leave it at that.

Also, the implication with the Joo Dees... I'm a bit weary of the abuse theme for now. (Like Dr. Jung said, _when you start to uncover the deeper issues, you may feel very raw._ ) But this comes from _Not Stalking Firelord Zuko_ , Chapter 14: No War in Ba Sing Se if you want more details.

Oh, and this is huge! Song! As King Kuei's betrothed... that's all from NSFZ as well. Emletish likes to bring all the ATLA characters full circle, it seems, so yes, this is THE Song, the girl Zuko meets in the Earth Kingdom farm village who helps heal his uncle, shows him her scars, etc. Apparently Kuei met her when he had to flee the palace after Azula's takeover. He fell in love with her, but his mother, the infamous Dowager (an OC of Em's, although I could have sworn she was canon) does not approve of Song's low-class background. This story line is well-developed in NSFZ, and I only provide small snippets of it here. The significance of Song's reappearance is her inspiration to Katara. They are both women who are defying tradition, marrying outside their race and/or class, and stepping into a realm of power and influence. Even Suki is grappling with the implications of her future. Is she committed to the republic model in Two Rivers to the point that she would relinquish her role as leader of the Kyoshi Warriors? And how does that fit in with Sokka and his duties to the Southern Water Tribe?

So, basically we have three strong women with incredibly bright futures. Hooray! And they each have loving and supportive men who will all get a bit weak-kneed in the next chapter.


	3. Lilac

Katara remembered one of her favorite parkas from when she was a child had been purple. A nice soft purple, the color of lilacs. They were a flower, her mother said. She imagined that whenever her mother called her _waterflower_ , one of her many nicknames, that she was a lilac growing somewhere in a field of green, reaching toward the sunlit sky. It was enough to keep her warm on some of the colder days in the South Pole—that and secrets and snuggles and storytime by the fire. Her mother's parka was purple, too.

She screamed the day that Gran Gran insisted she couldn't wear it anymore. "It's too small, dear… you'll freeze in that… you need to let it go." But what Katara heard was, "You need to let _her_ go." She couldn't find that happy place anymore, the one with the field of flowers and the warmth of sunshine. It was just... cold. She had been given her brother's old parka to wear instead. A warrior's style. Perhaps it was time to stop daydreaming anyway. Perhaps it was time to start fighting.

When Katara stood in a fabric shop faced with endless possibilities, only one color caught her attention. _Pick something for the Winter Solstice Festival_ , Iroh had said. It was perfect. But would it be too painful?

"That's a nice color," the store clerk told her. "Lilac is the shade. The flowers bloom in the Fire Nation in late spring."

They don't bloom in the South Pole at all, Katara thought.

When she put on the dress on the day of the Winter Solstice Festival, her friends, Suki and Song, spoke words of admiration and delight. Everything was muddled by emotion, though. Memories of cold winters made colder still by the pain of loss. A purple parka she would never see again—no, two purple parkas…

The weight on her heart only began to lift when she saw his face. Here in the Fire Nation, spring flowers announced the end of winter. Here in the Fire Nation, she had found warmth and love. And here in the Fire Nation, she bloomed.

* * *

Zuko wondered why Sokka had stopped mid-sentence, but when he turned his gaze toward the embassy steps, he knew he couldn't begin to form words either even if he tried. Somehow the eleven-year-old standing next to him managed.

"Wow," Arik said. "They look so beautiful."

"You can say that again." Zuko put his hands on the boy's shoulders. "Sorry, buddy. But they're all taken."

Arik shrugged. "So, do _you_ have a girlfriend?"

By this point, the young women had joined their significant others in the courtyard. Sokka began fussing over Suki, fumbling over his words in an attempt to express himself. Finally he said, "Oh, fuck it," and just kissed her.

King Kuei shook his head at Sokka's antics, gently took Song's hand, and led her away for a more private declaration of his love and appreciation.

Zuko cleared his throat. "Katara, I'd like you to meet Arik." Zuko was somewhat grateful to have an introduction to make because adequate words to describe how beautiful she looked had escaped him at the moment. He hoped she could at least see it in his face.

Arik looked wide-eyed at Katara and then back at Zuko. "So this is your girlfriend?"

"Uhhhh…" Zuko didn't like the question, either the way it had been phrased or its implication.

"It's nice to meet you, too, Arik." Katara laughed, although she could sense Zuko's annoyance. It was going to be interesting to have someone Arik's age around the palace for sure.

"So, you're a waterbender?" the boy asked, his tone almost accusatory.

Katara put a hand on her hip. "So, you're a firebender?"

"Yup!" Arik beamed. "And Zuko's mom is going to teach me!"

"You mean, _Fire Lord Zuko_ and _Lady Ursa_." A woman's voice entered the scene. "Arik, don't forget the formalities. Especially if you're going to be staying here at the palace for a while. You should _always_ use your teacher's proper title even if you think you're on a first name basis with the Fire Lord."

Katara saw the boy deflate and felt Zuko tense up. "Don't worry, Arik. It took me a while to get used to it, too. And Lady Ursa won't mind a bit. She's very kind."

"I'm Lian, Arik's mother," the woman said.

Katara waited, but the woman didn't bow. _So much for the formalities_.

"I'm Katara," she said. _Just Katara. But I could teach you a few things...  
_

"You shouldn't give Arik too many liberties. I couldn't care less if he learns firebending while he's here. But if he learns to be well-behaved and respectful…"

 _She sent her son to the Fire Nation royal palace to learn how to behave? Has she heard about the last, oh, 100 years?_

At that moment, a very flustered Iroh gestured frantically for everyone to make their way toward the Royal Plaza. It was time for the Winter Solstice Festival to begin.

Zuko took Katara's arm in his and leaned in to whisper in her ear. "You know I'm terrible with words, but you look amazing in that dress."

"Oh yeah, so you don't mind being seen in public with me?"

Zuko stopped dead in his tracks. They would be very public today, wouldn't they? Everyone at the royal palace knew about their relationship by now, but the Fire Sages had advised against any kind of national broadcast of the news. Not that it was _newsworthy_ or anyone's business who Zuko dated anyway, he thought. Of course, the members of the royal court had implied otherwise. Things would only get worse after he turned eighteen. So undoubtedly, everyone would be talking about the pretty girl on his arm no matter _who_ she was, and everyone was going to be the festival that day. So, this was it. They were officially "going public" unless they wanted to just pretend they weren't together at all…

Zuko tightened his grip on Katara's elbow. "There is no one else I would rather spend my birthday with than you."

* * *

When Katara saw the High Sage coming toward them, she returned Zuko's gesture with a vice grip of her own. Fire Sage Satoru had never really spoken to her directly, but she knew he sat on Zuko's advisory council, and had plenty to say _about_ her. In essence, Zuko did not have time to play games with peasant girls, and he shouldn't dare think to "muddy the bloodline" with Water Tribe "barbarianism." Katara knew Zuko took great offense to the sage's _advice_ and had poured into every text he could find to figure out a way to get rid of the man.

As it turns out, it's incredibly difficult to unseat a Fire Sage. They basically had to die in order to be replaced. Ozai had his underhanded ways of dealing with this, but of course, Zuko wouldn't resort to such methods. Ozai had also significantly reduced the authority of the Fire Sages, and while Zuko actually wanted to restore them to their traditional roles, the ongoing conflict with Satoru had dissuaded him from doing so.

Today, the High Sage apparently wanted to go ahead and seal his own death by the way he practically tore Katara from Zuko's arms. The young Fire Lord's fists flamed in response.

"Fire Lord Zuko, you are needed at the Royal Plaza tower to prepare for the ceremonial speeches," Satoru barked. "And you, _young lady_ , are needed _elsewhere_."

"Take your hands off her," Zuko growled.

Katara jerked herself free, shot a glare at the Fire Sage, and then looked back at Zuko, trying to force a reassuring expression. "It's OK, Zuko. I'm overseeing the procession of the parade floats. I'll see you later."

Zuko lingered, uncertain. Katara then closed the gap between them, smirked at Satoru, and kissed her boyfriend on the cheek. "It's OK. I love you," she whispered.

When they parted ways, neither realized that Katara had been followed.

"You will keep proper appearances today, Waterbender," a gruff voice spoke suddenly.

Katara whirled around to face the Fire Sage, instantly regretting the fact that waterskins didn't make the best accessories for fancy dresses. She could sense his blood, though.

"How could you expect me to act proper if I'm such a barbarian?" _Is it wise to play into his hands? Probably not…_

"You should just go back where you belong if you know what's good for you," Satoru snarled.

"I will go where I please, thank you very much." Katara stood a little taller, thankful for the high-heeled shoes, at least.

"You are in the Fire Nation, peasant. And you will play by our rules."

"Last I checked, the Fire Lord made the rules, not you."

"The Fire Lord treads in dangerous water where you are concerned. If you care for him at all, you will stay away from him today. You can have your little fling in secret, but do nothing in public, or else pay the consequences."

"Is that a threat?"

"Can't stand the heat, snowflake? You and your delicate lilac self should go back to where you came from. There is no place for fragile little flowers here."

Katara felt the burn in the back of her throat and the tears begin to brim her eyes. She would not give this man the satisfaction of knowing that he had gotten to her. She was _not_ delicate or fragile. But she had also forgotten that some people in the Fire Nation still felt this way about outsiders. It probably wasn't that much better of a response, but she turned on her heel and stormed off.

"That's right, little lilac. Wilt away," he called after her.

The tears flowed freely then. _Don't lilacs grow natively in the Fire Nation? In fields of green under the sunlit sky?_ But lilacs had long sense given her any hope. Why should today be any different?

* * *

 **A/N:** Yeah, so "lilac" does happen to be a Zutara Week 2016 prompt, but I'm way late for that. It's such a random one, too. It's a color and a flower, but how is it related to Zutara exactly? (People came up with cool stuff, of course, as they always do.) Oh well, I remembered when Katara went to the fabric store on Ember Island and had countless colors to chose from, so the idea expanded from there. It's a little sad, but I haven't explored much about Katara and her thoughts/memories of her mother.

So, the Fire Sages will play a role in this fic. Avatar Wiki is a little fuzzy on whether the leader is called the "Great Sage" or the "High Sage," so I'm going with the latter. I picked "Satoru" from a random list of Japanese names, and it means "enlightened, knowledgeable, persuasive, perceptive." In _The Winter Solstice Part 2_ , this is the guy in the middle who does most of the talking (and looks pretty sinister). Not Shyu, mind you, the guy who helps Aang, Katara, and Sokka. He will make an appearance, too! And yes, there will be some tie-ins from events of _that_ Winter Solstice to this one.

Oh, and Arik makes a reappearance in this chapter. To recap, Zuko meets Arik's family in Two Rivers and finds that the boy doesn't have access to firebending training as the son of a nonbender Fire Nation soldier and an earthbending mother who teaches his sister with likewise ability. The father petitions for Zuko to find someone to train Arik even if it means his son will have to move to the capital. Zuko knows that Arik's mother is not crazy about the idea, and he also knows that the stuffy instructors from the Academy won't be a good fit for Arik. At some point, after learning that his mother is a bender, he realizes that pairing Arik and Ursa together could work well for the both of them.


	4. Waves of Change

Flowers didn't just grow in the spring in the Fire Nation. Several varieties apparently also grow in the winter. When Katara discovered this, she wondered why she never saw flowers in the South Pole during any season, although she figured the ice and snow had something to do with it. She asked the palace gardener who was helping them prepare their parade float.

"Yes, these cold-weather flowers are hardier than their spring and summer cousins," he replied. "But they still take root during the other seasons. They need the warmth of the summer and the winds of the fall to prepare the ground for proper growth." He paused to thoughtfully stroke his beard. "For everything on earth there is a season, just as there is a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to harvest…"

The gardener had trailed off but Katara remained poised to hear the rest. Her Gran Gran used to recite it often. She didn't know its origin, but the passage had helped her grasp the idea of destiny while at the same time made her feel more at ease in her present circumstances. _If there is a time for everything, then I don't have to worry so much about keeping control… or losing it._ The gardener must have sensed her silent reflections because after a beat, he picked up where he left off:

"A time to kill and a time to heal.  
A time to tear down and a time to build up.  
A time to cry and a time to laugh.  
A time to grieve and a time to dance.  
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.  
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.  
A time to search and a time to quit searching.  
A time to keep and a time to throw away.  
A time to tear and a time to mend.  
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.  
A time to love and a time to hate.  
A time for war and a time for peace."

"What was that last part?" she asked.

"Which one, 'a time for war and a time for peace?'" the gardener clarified.

"Yeah. I've not heard that part before." _Gran Gran never said that line._

"I think it's been adapted throughout the nations over the years. The part about the stones comes from the Earth Kingdom, and we don't say that line here in the Fire Nation. Perhaps the Water Tribes don't believe there is a time for war. Seems likely to me anyway."

"Yeah, makes sense." _Who is this man? He seems too well-versed and well-traveled to have worked in the royal palace garden all his life._

When the gardener was not imparting words of wisdom, he was advising on floral patterns and color schemes for their parade float. The theme was "waves of change," and each bending art had a side and its own wavelike element. A boat mounted on a cart made up the base of the float, and it would be hitched up to a dragon moose just like all the other floats in the parade. Except when they got down to the harbor, the boat part would actually set sail so they could make their getaway to Ember Island. The flowers served as a disguise and a decorative element they could easily shed in the water.

Toph and Aang used their metalbending to make wire frames for each "wave." The air waves looked like a series of spirals, and the gardener brought in calendula flowers in shades of orange and yellow. The water element was easy enough to recreate, but harder to find flowers for, but a mixture of purple pansies and blue violas finally did the trick. The "earth wave" was a difficult concept to illustrate, but Toph described vibrations she had felt under the earth, like waves or "tremors," she had called them. The gardener created a backdrop with a spindly brush he called "winter jasmine" and wove in another stalky flower called "erica" to further create a sense of movement.

The "fire wave" was modeled after an actual firebending form, one of the very few defensive moves in an otherwise assertive bending art. The gardener chose none other than the Fire Nation's official flower, the snapdragon, which blooms year round in bright orange, red, and yellow. Katara knew these flowers well since they were planted everywhere on the palace grounds. They were pretty enough, she figured, with their vibrant colors and all, but she always found their thick and pointy appearance to be a bit… _aggressive_.

All in all, she was pleased with how the float turned out, a representation of the four nations that they had all created together. And after her encounter with Fire Sage Satoru, it was a most welcome sight to join her friends gathered there waiting for the parade to begin. She knew she would find love and comfort among them… and the occasional bickering, but she still wouldn't have it any other way.

"Sokka! The dragon moose is eating the flowers again!" Suki hissed.

"What do you want me to do about it?" Sokka whined.

"I don't know. Distract him?"

"Do you think he likes fireflakes?" Sokka started rummaging through his bag.

"Oh, no. He's eaten half of our fire wave! Now what are we going to do?" Suki picked up the half-chewed snapdragon remnants off the ground.

"Meh, we'll just get Iroh or Zuko to make a fire wave, it'll be fine." Sokka shrugged while shoving a handful of freflakes into his mouth.

Katara knew she had walked in on this conversation just in time. "No, Sokka! No firebending during the parade! Remember, we have the fireworks below deck!"

At that moment, Katara felt a hand on her arm. It was Fire Sage Alla, the newest and youngest and _nicest_ of the five Fire Sages. Shyu was nice, too, Katara remembered, since he had helped them contact Roku on the Winter Solstice two years ago, but he had also been a bit aloof since then.

"Katara, don't forget that the snapdragons should be burned once you are out at sea. After the fireworks is fine, but the flowers are poisonous to the fish," Alla advised. "The other flowers are fine, though."

"Oh! Are they poisonous to the dragon moose, too?" Katara shot a concerned look back at Sokka who was offering the animal a handful of fireflakes just then. Her brother grinned sheepishly.

"No, no," Alla said. "The dragon moose eats anything and everything." She laughed. "OK, I think they are almost ready to begin the speeches. The Fire Sages will be on the float behind you, and we'll keep watch."

"Thank you," Katara said. She scanned the next float in the procession which was themed to represent the Fire Nation. Zuko's advisors, Piandao, Jee, and Lady Za Jei were there as well as the other three Fire Sages including Satoru whose back was turned to her. She shivered at the sight of him. "Alla, where's Shyu?"

"Oh, he's uhhh… I don't know. He has a _thing_ … he does on the Winter Solstice. I was told last year not to ask any questions."

"Oh."

They were then interrupted by the sound of a gong. The speeches were about to begin.

* * *

Zuko, Iroh, and Ursa emerged onto the platform. The new Fire Lord robes caught the sunlight in the way that reflected the subtle fabric variation that mimicked dragon scales. The golden crest at his collarbone and the flame in his hair also flickered brightly. When Zuko stepped forward and the sun shone fully on his face, he smiled and extended his arms. Today, the young dragon became a man, and he had something to say to his nation… and to the world.

"Welcome to the First Annual Winter Solstice Celebration otherwise known as my uncle's excuse to throw a big party when I asked him not to make a big deal out of my birthday. I think I may have lost that argument now and for all times. The Fire Nation has not traditionally celebrated the Winter Solstice. I mean, it's the shortest day of the year, and let's face it, we really like our sunshine. I've heard some in the Fire Nation call it an unlucky day… actually, I heard that a lot growing up… um, anyway, but today we reclaim this day for celebration. So, thank you for joining us for a cultural exchange through the parade, food, and… whatever else my crazy uncle has planned!"

Zuko nodded to Iroh who bowed while the crowd cheered. Zuko then raised his hands again.

"This day is also special to me and significant for the Fire Nation as I present to you Lady Ursa, daughter of Jinzuk and Rina of Hira'a and mother to the Fire Lord. After her many years of absence, Lady Ursa returns to us with her honor fully restored. She has been acquitted of any allegations made against her, and her marriage to former Fire Lord Ozai has been nullified. The details of her case are on pubic record for those who wish to see documentation… although, I for one would like to put Ozai and his reign of fear behind us, so that we might prosper in an era of peace."

At this, Ursa stepped forward, smiled briefly at her son, but then kept a steady gaze toward the harbor in the distance, not acknowledging the crowd's cheerful affirmation. She wore a black dress with gold embroidery that bore semblance to Zuko's robes. After a few minutes, she moved back in line with Iroh and Zuko, and the Fire Lord continued his speech.

"All the nations are gathered here today in what I had hoped to be an expression of this peace we all speak of in the immediate aftermath of war, this peace we hope to achieve as we rebuild our world together. I mean, what better a birthday present for the new Fire Lord than to see that all the nations can put aside their differences and just get along? If you asked me what I truly want, then that is what I would wish for.

I may be young, but I am not delusional. I've had many meetings with diplomats this week that would lead me to believe that peace is not attainable. As the instigator of the war, I do feel it is my responsibility to lead in the peace effort, and I have been frustrated when no one seems to follow. Of course, why would you? The Fire Nation has done nothing but take by force. Why accept our offers of peacemaking? What do you have to gain?

So then I realized that we are thinking about peace in the same way that we think about war. Give and take. Force and surrender. Conquer and acquire. Peace, my friends, is a process. It is the taxing and tedious effort of solving our problems without violence or oppression. It is a series of actions and agreements where we seek the interest of all concerned. And where we disagree, we live in mutual tolerance. Instead of focusing on where we are different, we find our common ground. We all share this world. We all want a better future for our children. And we will all pass into the spirit world someday. Our time is limited, so we should make the most of it.

There is an old proverb that says, 'there is a time for war and a time for peace.' Well, the way I see it, is that if we don't actively pursue peace, then the only other option is war. And I'm tired of fighting, aren't you?

So as we are all gathered here today, I leave you with this. Stop fighting for peace and start embracing it. Stop worrying about what you are due, and figure out what you can _do_. And stop thinking about the end goal when we haven't even started the process. _Our_ time is NOW, and this will be our legacy. So it is not just peace for our nation, but for all nations. And not just peace for our time, but for all times."

For a span of about three seconds after Zuko finished, one could hear a pin drop in the silence that blanketed the Royal Plaza. Then, an eruption of cheers and clapping caused Zuko to nod and quickly retreat from the platform with Ursa at his heels. Iroh lingered to say a brief word about the agenda with the parade procession first followed by the festival and fireworks. Soon, the three of them arrived at the parade float, and everyone exchanged hugs and handshakes.

"Did you plan on saying all of that, nephew?" Iroh asked after their embrace.

Zuko let out a sigh of relief. "No, actually. I was gonna stop after I presented mother, but the rest just kinda… came out."

"What brought that on, may I ask?" Iroh continued. "I'm sorry I haven't been part of many meetings these past few weeks. I've been busy party planning."

"Right, I know. Since everyone has been coming here for the festival anyway, there have been a lot of peace proceedings. These meetings have been frustrating. Lots of bickering. I guess I got fed up and felt like something should be said about it."

"Well, that's certainly a better way to handle it than blowing up in a meeting or storming out," Iroh replied.

"Oh." Zuko cast him a rueful smile. "I may have done that, too."

"Well, I'm very proud of you, son," Ursa interjected.

"Me, too," Katara added while slipping an arm around his waist.

Zuko wrapped his arms around her shoulders and squeezed her back. "Thanks."

Just then, they lurched into motion, and the parade was underway. Katara caught something out of the corner of her eye, a figure staring at her from the float behind them. She quickly jerked away from Zuko and crossed to the other side of the boat. Zuko was admiring the flower displays and did not appear to notice her abruptness nor the reason for it.

Satoru was watching her.

* * *

 **A/N:** The "proverb" is from the Bible, Ecclesiastes 3:3-8, and it comes from me thinking, isn't there a saying, "for everything there is a season..." and then finding the whole passage to be interesting and potentially relevant. I am attributing the source, much like I would any other element of _canon_ , but I have also adapted it for this story, as one does with fanfiction. (As I understand it, many who uphold biblical scripture as truth would object to the idea that it has been "adapted throughout the nations over the years." Conversely, there are many who say this is exactly what has happened with such texts. I'm not making a statement either way. Ecclesiastes is classified as "wisdom literature" which I think is useful in our world and definitely applicable in the spiritual world of ATLA, regardless of it being more strongly presented under Eastern religious influence.)

In short, I found a cool "quote" and I wanted to use it.

Zuko's speech is loosely based on a speech entitled "A Strategy of Peace" given by John F. Kennedy as a commencement address at the American University on June 10, 1963. So, I've moved on from religion to politics, although recently such topics have become so charged that it's almost advisable to avoid them altogether if you want to have a civil conversation with someone. But lamenting over this is how I stumbled on the speech in the first place, where JFK asserts that "world peace, like community peace, does not require that each man love his neighbor-it requires only that they live together in mutual tolerance, submitting their disputes to a just and peaceful settlement."

JFK is also attributed with popularizing the saying, "a rising tide lifts all boats," for which this fic is named. I didn't know that when I chose the title, and I actually wrote Zuko's speech in this chapter a long time before starting the sequel. (It was like I knew our young leader would say something like this at some point.) JFK uses "a rising tide" to describe an economic policy, so maybe I will explore that angle as well. It's kinda like the Carl Jung thing (famous psychiatrist). Just knowing that there are parallels out there, and that I can research presidential speeches and biblical passages and even horticulture makes writing this and interweaving things a lot of fun.

Because learning is fun.

But if this chapter was a little too symbolic or didactic or just... boring... there's more action in the next chapter, I promise!


	5. Afloat

As the parade float made its way down the Royal Plaza, Katara was grateful that Zuko became increasingly distracted by the crowd. He stood at the edge of the boat with his mother pointing and waving, and while she enjoyed watching his face light up as he recognized people, she kept her distance. It was as if she could feel Satoru's eyes boring into her, and in her mind, the end of the parade and their Ember Island getaway couldn't come fast enough.

"Are you okay, Katara?" Aang asked as he crossed over to her from the bow. He, too, had been enjoying all the attention as the famed Avatar. His expression of concern switched to excitement when he looked just past her. "Oh, hey, there's Haru… and Teo!"

Katara turned and joined Aang in waving to their friends. She then figured there was nothing wrong with enjoying herself from _this_ side of the boat. Zuko seemed plenty occupied since he was the day's celebrity and all. She could "keep proper appearances" for just a little longer, and then they could do whatever they wanted when they got to the beach house. She allowed herself to relax.

"Katara! Katara!" Voices from the crowd rang out. It was Rena and Rei, the colonials they had met on Ember Island last summer. Katara waved back.

"Hey, Katara!" She followed the booming sound to its owner, Chit Sang, the prisoner from Boiling Rock who had stayed with them briefly at the Western Air Temple.

A few minutes later, a group of three women tried to get her attention. "Hi, Katara, hey Katara!" She waved, but had no clue who these people were. She startled when Toph leaned in and said, "They're from Hama's villiage. I recognize their voices as some of the villagers we rescued from under the mountain."

"Oh." Katara started to wonder if literally _everyone_ had showed up for the festival today.

"Hey, hey, hey, there's the Painted Lady!" an old man called out.

"Is that Dock? Or is it Xu?" Sokka asked while brandishing a goofy grin and waving dramatically back at the man.

Katara thought the people in the crowd were turning into one giant blur of red. _They're all Fire Nation_ , she realized. _And they're all waving to me._

A small voice broke her daze, and she reached out to accept the rose that a young girl was holding out for her. "Thank you, Katara, for healing me."

"Zanna! Get back here!" a woman yelled. "You'll get trampled by a dragon moose!"

Katara recognized Zanna as her first patient from the royal hospital. She didn't remember the mother, but she took a moment to notice the girls' hands. Her burn scars had paled significantly, and she appeared to have full use of her fingers. _I could do better now. I could heal them completely, I bet._

Katara saw two more patients who waved emphatically to her before she felt a warm hand slip into hers. She was so caught up in the moment, that she had completely forgotten about Satoru. She hadn't even really given Zuko much thought, either.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say this party was being thrown in your honor." Zuko's breath tickled her ear as he spoke.

"Hmm?" She turned to find his eyes alight with pure joy. It was such a rare expression for the young Fire Lord, and she was so happy that he would feel this way on his birthday. She wasn't entirely aware of the reason, though.

"Katara, you're… my people love you," he said before averting her eyes and looking intently at their intertwined hands, pale skin against bronze.

"Oh?" She had noticed her own popularity at the parade, but wouldn't go as far as to say she was _loved._

Another "Katara!" echoed from the crowd, but before she could turn to see who it was, Zuko had pulled her into an embrace and then… a kiss. A deep, long passionate kiss. She momentarily forgot where she was and who was watching. When they finally pulled away from each other, he said, "And I love you, too."

The crowd went wild. There was cheering and whistling and ooohs and ahhhhs. Katara saw her own blush reflected in Zuko's face, but he just shrugged. So, they'd just made their first public appearance as a couple.

 _Public appearance._ The bottom of Katara's stomach dropped out, and she turned just in time to make eye contact with a seething Satoru behind them in the procession. The enraged Fire Sage gripped the railing of his parade float, and Katara wondered if the wooden barrier was the only thing from keeping the man from launching himself at her. The next series of events passed in such a flash, that Katara could do nothing but act on pure instinct.

An angry firebender holding on to a wooden rail made for a bad combination. It didn't take much for Satoru's fists to light his parade float afire, and the other firebenders on deck scrambing to help only made things worse. Katara called out to no one in particular, "The fireworks!" and then cursed yet again that she didn't have her waterskin. Aang leapt into action and was able to put out the fire with a large gust of air much to everyone's momentary relief. It turned out, however, that while a dragon moose is completely unphased by fire, the wave of wind spooked the animal enough for it to rear up and overturn the parade float in one terrifying moment that seemed suspended in time.

Everything became even more frantic and blurry after that, at least for Katara. "Is anyone hurt?" she heard someone yell, and she knew that was her cue. She jumped down from their boat and circled the other float until she saw there was one man down—Satoru. He had taken a dragon moose hoof to the chest, and appeared to be gasping for air.

"Does anyone have any water?" she screamed. No one answered. It was like everyone was frozen in shock or fear or something, she didn't know what, but they were running out of time. _Okay, fine._ She was so incredibly frustrated by not having access to water all day. They were close enough to the harbor now that she could feel it in the air. She stood still, took a deep breath, and lifted her hands.

There was a collective gasp from the crowd as water droplets materialized out of thin air. Then Katara gathered the water to her hands and rushed to Satoru's side. "He has a fractured rib and a punctured lung," she announced. "It's collapsed, and…" She closed her eyes, applied the healing water, and went to work. The repairs were easy enough to make, she'd healed tons of soft tissue before and was getting a lot better at bones lately, especially smaller ones, but it was taking a while to ease the man's breathing patterns.

She opened her eyes and met his. _He's still angry_. "Sir, you need to relax," she coaxed through gritted teeth.

To her relief, Dr. Yang arrived with a small team of medical staff to tend to Satoru. Katara gave her assessment of the patient to her mentor who nodded in acknowledgment and then instructed for him to be taken back to the hospital for observation. "He'll be fine, Katara," Dr. Yang said. "Good work."

Then for the second time that day, Katara discovered she was the recipient of much applause and appreciation as the sea of red-clad onlookers came into focus. She released the water as a fine mist into the air and collapsed into the strong arms that she knew were waiting there for her. Zuko led her back to their float, and together they sat down on the deck. He allowed her to lean into him while whispering in her ear, "You never cease to amaze me."

Iroh leaned over to hand her a cup of water. "A drink, Master Katara?"

"Oh, now you suddenly have water?" She smirked at him before downing the water in one gulp. _Never go without one's element at hand again. Never._

"Well, I got it for you as quickly as I could. But then you didn't need it after all." Iroh beamed at her. "I think you gave everyone here quite a show!"

"Yeah, I doubt many people from the Fire Nation have seen a healer in action before," Zuko added.

"Well, it wouldn't have been necessary if… oh, nevermind." She leaned into him more to nuzzle into the crook of his neck, thankful that the boat's deck railing and floral decorations concealed them. After cheers from the crowd and leers from a certain disapproving Fire Sage, Katara decided she'd had enough attention for one day.

* * *

"Aw man, I kinda wanted to stay for the festival." Zuko squinted back toward the harbor, its sprinkling of lights shining in the distance.

"Seriously? Do you know how hard it is to kidnap a Fire Lord during his own birthday party?" Katara fussed at him. Her exhaustion over the parade events had taken a toll on her mood.

"I'm just sayin.' You didn't have to." Zuko shrugged. "Some of the booths looked like fun. Like Mai's second cousin was showing how they made fireflakes!"

"Well, I'm pretty sure Sokka brought fireflakes, so you're covered. Right Sokka?"

"Ah, nope. Fed them to the dragon moose," Sokka replied nonchalantly.

"And then there was the Two Rivers tayberry tarts. I really wanted to try those," Zuko continued.

"What's a tayberry?" Katara asked.

"This exotic fruit I got to try once. It was sweet and tangy." Zuko licked his lips.

"Well, _I'm_ exotic, and later you can have a little nibble—"

"Ugli!" Sokka interjected.

"Sokka! That's not a nice thing to say to your sister!" Katara scolded.

"No, I mean ugli is the fruit from Two Rivers that is in season right now," her brother explained.

"That shows what you know," Suki chimed in. "Lian made tayberry preserves, so that's what she uses to make the tarts. Besides it's pronounced ooo-gli, not uhh-gli."

Zuko sighed. "Well, at least I got to see the fireworks."

Katara smirked. "And maybe there will be _other_ explosions tonight…"

"STOP IT!" Toph removed her hands from her ears and pointed at Sokka and Suki. "YOU TWO fight like old geezer goats who are already married." Then she turned on Zuko and Katara. "And YOU TWO talk like horny toad-rabbits. It's enough to make me want to jump overboard. And that's saying something because I CAN'T SWIM!"

"Hey guys?" Aang called from the starboard side of the boat.

"Maybe I'll go talk to Aang. He's the only sane one around here," Toph grumbled.

"Do you see those explosions over there?" He pointed off in the distance.

"Ugh, not you, too!" Toph smacked a hand against her forehead.

"No, he's right. Something is going on over there." Zuko crossed the deck to join Aang.

"It looks like Crescent Island, although nobody has been there for two years now, not since Roku's temple was destroyed." Iroh leaned against the railing to observe the occasional bursts of light against the otherwise dark sky.

"Do you think we should check it out?" Aang asked.

"Well, we're actually at the mercy of the rising tide in order to embark on Ember Island. We shouldn't delay our trip there or else be stuck at sea until morning," Iroh replied.

Toph groaned. She hated water travel.

"We have a raft which could be propelled quite expeditiously with waterbending," Iroh mused. "It only seats two, though."

"Great," Aang said. "Katara, you wanna go?"

"Uhhhh…" Katara had been half-ignoring their conversation, thinking about a comfortable bed awaiting her at the Ember Island beach house.

"If it's Crescent Island, what if it has something to do with Avatar Roku?" Aang surmised. "I _did_ talk to him on the Winter Solstice that one time. What if I could talk to him again?"

"Why do you need to talk to Roku?" Katara snapped. "The war is won. You don't need any Avatar advice right now."

"I…" Aang looked abashed. Katara felt guilty. "I dunno, maybe he can help me find lost airbenders… or something?"

"OK, fine." Katara let out a noise of frustration. "I'm going below deck to change out of this dress, then."

"Wait, wait, wait," Zuko said. "Why does Katara have to go? It might be unsafe. It could be a firebender making those explosions. I'll go."

"No, your uncle is right. It'll be faster if Aang and I waterbend the raft. Plus, it's your birthday. You go to the beach house and relax," Katara said.

"You know I won't be able to relax until you get back!" Zuko retorted

"Sparky, no more innuendos! My head is going to explode. It's bad enough that I'll have to _listen_ to you two…" Toph stomped her foot on the wooden deck for emphasis.

"I wasn't…it's not that. I'll just worry, OK?" Zuko crossed his arms across his chest and pouted.

"I'll be fine." Katara put a hand on his arm for reassurance. "I can take care of myself."

Before long, Aang had filled the raft with air, and they were ready to go. Katara grabbed her bag just in case and made sure she had her waterskin with her this time. As they pushed the raft out into the open waters, she watched the moonlight flicker across the ripples of their wake. The moon wasn't full that night, but she remembered that the last time she went to Crescent Island, it had been.

A full moon on a Winter Solstice held significance as she was about to find out.

* * *

 **A/N:** Some attributions to Emletish and the Stalking series: I forgot to mention that Fire Sage Alla from the last chapter is hers. I'm not sure how much of a role I'll give her in this fic, but I did notice when I re-watched _The Winter Solstice Part 2_ that all the Fire Sages there were men, so I'm going to say that the oldest guy there (with the white beard) died of old age, and that one of Zuko's first assignments as Fire Lord was to appoint a new Fire Sage. Emletish mentions that Alla's uncle was also a Fire Sage (who spoke out against Ozai and was murdered for it) so I'd venture to say that Fire Sages work similarly to Fire Lords... they come from familial lines. Also, Zanna, Katara's first patient is from Em's fic. This little girl accidentally burns her hands during Sozin's Comet, and Katara spends "too much time" reading to her and bonding with her after which Dr. Yang teaches the lesson that you can't do that with your patients. You must remain detached, etc. I plan for this lesson to come back and bite Dr. Yang in the ass, by the way.

The tayberry and ugli are both hybrid fruits in real life, but I have them as "native" fruits from Two Rivers as a reflection of the hybrid culture that exists there. Zuko tries both fruits when he visits the city back in _Darkness Before Dawn_ : Chapter 8. He really likes the fruits, but also the concept.

Lastly, while revisiting _The Winter Solstice Part 2,_ I saw that the moon is big and bright and FULL. (The final scene is Appa flying off into the moonlit sky. So picturesque.) And I thought, hmmm, wonder what I could do with that? The ideas started flowing and will be presented in the next chapter!

As another tidbit from that episode: at one point, Iroh scolds Zuko and says, "Of all the foolish things you've done in your sixteen years, Prince Zuko, this is the most foolish!" In my head canon, this is an offhand reference to it being Zuko's birthday. It was a pretty eventful and stressful day for the banished prince, and I don't think they were accustomed to celebrating his birthday anyway. Zuko had truly come to think of his birthday and the Winter Solstice as a very unlucky day, and this is probably confirmed when the Avatar slips through his fingers yet again.


	6. Full Moon Rising

By the time Aang and Katara embarked on Crescent Island, the explosions had stopped. Katara secured her waterskin across her shoulders, and Aang lit a small fire in his palm so they could see where they were going. The island's terrain felt strange underfoot, like pillowy rocks. Katara remembered the ground seemed to be having an elemental identity crisis the last time they were there. It was like _liquid fire._ The combination then struck her as significant and almost… _prophetic._

 _Fire and water. Team liquidy hot. Opposites attract. I was here two years ago, and I'm back here now. For a reason, I bet._

"Katara!" Aang whispered. "I think there's someone over there."

In full-on stealth mode, they crept toward the figure, but all the precaution and sneakiness turned out to be unnecessary.

"Shyu? Is that you?" Aang called out once they were within a few feet of the man. The Fire Sage sat with his legs crossed and his eyes closed and didn't acknowledge them at first.

"He's meditating," Katara observed.

"Unsuccessfully," Shyu spoke suddenly.

"Sorry. We didn't mean to interrupt. What are you doing out here?" Aang asked.

"Yeah, why weren't you at the festival?" Katara then remembered Fire Sage Alla's words. _Don't ask questions. Too late…_

"I…uhh…" The old man rubbed his temples. Katara and Aang joined him around the small campfire he had made and waited a few minutes before Shyu finally answered.

"I'm trying to contact Avatar Roku," he explained. "My efforts have been futile, though, which I should have expected."

"Oh," Aang said. "Is it because the temple and statue are gone? Because that was kinda my fault. Sorry."

"No, no. It's the full moon. Or lack thereof," Shyu replied. Aang and Katara stared at him blankly. The Fire Sage held their gazes as the firelight danced across their faces, and then shook his head wearily. "It's a long story."

"The moon was full when we came here two years ago," Katara said. "Did that… mean something?"

"It does." Shyu paused. "But like I said, it's a long story. I'm not even sure where to begin."

Aang and Katara said nothing in response but simply sat there looking wide-eyed at the man. The fire had settled into a bed of glowing embers by the time Shyu shifted his weight and cracked his knuckles, finally resigning to tell his tale.

"My father was executed by Fire Lord Azulon for his allegiances to the Avatar. He passed on a few things to me before he died one of which was the capability to contact Avatar Roku whenever there is a full moon on a Winter Solstice. The phenomenon doesn't happen often, only every 20 years or so. The first time I was able to do it, I was 40 years old, and Avatar Roku gave me a prophecy. He said that one of his descendants would be the next Avatar."

Aang and Katara exchanged confused glances. Shyu took a deep breath and continued.

"When Fire Lord Azulon found out what I was doing, he insisted that I tell him what Roku had said. I didn't fully understand what the prophecy meant, but I knew that the Fire Lord was ruthless where the Avatar was concerned, so I altered it. I told him that Roku had said one of his descendants would become the most powerful person in the world. Shortly thereafter, Azulon sought out Roku's granddaughter to have her marry his son. In essence, he thought he was carrying out this prophesy in order to empower his own bloodline.

Since we had not heard anything about a new Avatar after Sozin wiped out the Air Nomads, I assumed the cycle had been broken. With Roku's prophecy, however, I thought maybe it had only been suspended, and that an airbender would somehow be born in Roku's line. It seemed impossible until I found out there were airbenders living in secret in the Fire Nation. I advised Chin Lee to position some of his family members in the royal court. He resisted at first, but after Prince Zuko was born, I thought surely one of Chin's seven granddaughters around his age would make an impression. Ty Lee definitely got close, but then events started unfolding quite differently.

Two years ago, I expected another full moon on the Winter Solstice and planned to seek out Roku again. Fire Lord Azulon had died under suspicious circumstances, the prince had been banished, and the war raged on with uncertain dread. All hope seemed lost, and I needed his guidance more than ever. Two weeks before the Solstice, however, Roku's statue began to glow, and I received a vision then instead.

He said the Avatar was alive and coming to Crescent Island on the Solstice. He would bring with him the power of the full moon. The other Fire Sages heard this part, too, but to me and me alone, Roku revealed that you and your friends would need my help when you got here and to take special care—that the power of his bloodline would lie where there is power over the blood.

Of course, you know the rest of the events from that night. Although, I still have not been able to make sense of the prophecies. I came back here last year on the Solstice with hopes of finding answers, and here I am again. I know I am powerless without the aid of the full moon, but…"

 _Power that comes with the full moon… power over the blood…_ Katara looked at Aang and saw that he had made the same connections she had. "Aang, what nation is next in the Avatar cycle?" She asked the question but already knew the answer.

"Water Tribe," Aang confirmed.

"Master Katara," Shyu spoke again. "I… did consider…"

"It's true," she whispered. "It _has_ to be."

"Do you know why—" Shyu started.

"Yes. Because I have power over the blood. It's called bloodbending. And I can do it on a full moon. I couldn't then... I found out later, but I guess that doesn't matter with prophecies..." She shuddered as thoughts and memories flooded her mind. The one that echoed loudest was Hama's words, "The choice is not yours. The power exists. And it's your duty to use the gifts you've been given to win this war." _With this prophecy, do I have a choice? I love Zuko, but now it's somehow my duty to be with him?_

Shyu seemed to be pondering the revelation himself. After bearing the awkward silence for as long as he could stand it, Aang asked, "Since, uhhh, we're here and all… do you want me to see if I can contact Roku? Maybe he has more prophecies for us?"

"Could you?" Shyu's demeanor shifted from contemplative to ecstatic and then quickly to that of concern. "Or… wait. Only if Katara is comfortable with it. I know that it could make you feel strange or act in ways you wouldn't otherwise. I suspect that you love Fire Lord Zuko, but I don't know how seriously you have considered your future with him. This, ah, affects that… I imagine…"

"It's fine. I mean, we've talked about it some. The part that makes me uncomfortable is that when there's a new Avatar, it means that Aang is…"

"Don't worry, Katara." Aang smiled. "Besides 'descendant' could be a long time from now. You never know."

"Maybe we can ask Roku when… or is that a bad idea? I don't know. This is the closest I've gotten in _years_ to understanding all of this. I will follow your lead, Avatar Aang." Shyu nodded to the young airbender who assumed the meditation position.

After the better part of an hour, Aang gave up. "Sorry. I haven't really mastered… um, usually when I contact my past lives, it's kinda by accident."

Shyu's shoulders slumped, but he forced a smile. "It's OK, young Avatar. We'll just have to wait another 18 years for the next full moon."

"But in 18 years, I could be…" Katara couldn't finish. Would the next Avatar be _her_ child? Would she have to let Aang go so soon?

"Well, my father spoke of another way, but I haven't been able to try it. Avatar Roku's things were all destroyed when his volcano island home erupted. I haven't been able to locate any artifacts of his. I don't suppose the current Avatar counts… if we could use something that belongs to Aang or not…"

"You need something that belonged to Roku?" Katara asked.

"Yes," Shyu replied. "To act as a portal, of sorts, into the spirit world."

Katara sifted through the contents of her bag until she found a bundle of fabric. She unfolded it carefully to reveal the topknot piece she had discovered in Zuko's Ember Island room, the one Iroh said had belonged to Sozin who then gifted it to Roku.

"Wow, Katara! Where did you get that?" Aang reached out and cradled the decorative flames secured by a metal pin and band. "It's definitely his. He's always wearing it when I see him…"

Katara shrugged. It was part of something she was planning for Zuko's present, but that seemed irrelevant now. His 18th birthday had felt so significant, but now she was facing the future of their children and the fate of the world.

Shyu reignited the fire and set the crown on a rock in front of the flames. He resumed his meditative stance, and Aang did the same without hesitation. Katara eyed them both with some suspicion, but then figured it was worth a try, at least.

As soon as she sat down, the scenery around her changed abruptly. Was she floating on clouds? No, it still looked like pillowy lava rocks, but in shades of soft pinks and blues. Wherever she was, it was definitely dreamy… serene… and a little bit unnerving.

"Katara, I'm so glad to see you," a voice spoke.

"A-a-vatar Roku, is that you?"

"It is."

"Where am I? The spirit world?"

"Hmm, somewhere in between here and there."

"Are Shyu and Aang here, too?"

"They are not. The message I have is for you."

"Oh, Avatar Roku, please tell me it's not our son or daughter. I don't think I can bear it if Aang dies that soon. He's so young."

"You forget that Aang is actually 114 years old."

"True, but—"

"Do not worry, Katara. The prophecy I told Shyu about my descendant was referring to my great great great granddaughter."

"So…uh… that would be… Zuko's granddaughter?"

"Yes."

"Ok, I guess that's… a little better. And the bloodbending thing? Does my future involve that somehow? Because I'd really rather not—"

"What _you_ do with that ability is up to you. Your granddaughter, however, will have to face dire implications of bloodbending. _You_ may choose to respect its power, but I assure you others will not."

"There are… other bloodbenders? Besides Hama?"

"Katara, I am only privy to limited information and only when it affects my bloodline and the Avatar cycle."

"Oh. OK, then. Anything else?"

"The Winter Solstice. It will also be significant to the next Avatar. I have known this since Zuko was born. It is how I knew he would be the one to help restore balance in the world. And the next Avatar will be the one to help restore balance between our world and the spirit world."

"Wow, that's…"

"A lot to take in, I know, Katara. There is nothing you need to do differently. Love him. Help him stay to the right path. Guide and grow your children well."

"So that's just it. I'm only as good as the heirs I produce, then?"

"On the contrary, Katara. You are the power of the moon, the power over the blood. None of this would be possible without you."

"But what does that even mean?"

Avatar Roku appeared to be done with dolling out prophetic wisdom for the moment. Katara felt her breath catch in her throat, and then on her next inhale, she opened her eyes to find herself back at the campsite. Shyu and Aang were gaping at her.

"Katara! Did you talk to him?" Aang reached out a hand to steady her. She didn't even realize she had been swaying, but she then noticed the firelight fading in and out focus.

"He…I… it's our granddaughter," she said before collapsing in Aang's arms.

The next thing she knew, she woke up in her bed on Ember Island. It was still dark outside… and someone was screaming.

"Zuko!"

* * *

 **A/N:** Welcome to the tangled web that has become my head canon! Full moons and solstices and bloodbending, oh my!

But seriously, did Katara get fucked over in _Legend of Korra_ or what? I just... can't...

So, I obviously ignore Kataang and therefore Kya, Bumi, and Tenzin. I really think that Aang would be committed to restoring the Air Nomad population, and well, that wouldn't likely happen _efficiently_ through a monogamous relationship where one out of three kids ends up being an airbender. I like Aang, and there are a lot of Zutara shippers who don't. I just think he is 1) young and immature and 2) very attached to his people/culture and perhaps moreso than an Avatar should be. And let's face it, LoK doesn't really present Aang in the best of light, either. I'm OK with him wanting to "sow his wild oats" when he's a little older, and err, consequently, repopulate the airbenders. He's a free spirit, anyway. Sure, I think he would be involved in diplomatic stuff in Republic City, but his passion would be with reviving his culture. I also think this lifestyle would NOT be for Katara. She wants stability. Zuko may be an emotional wreck (in my fic anyway) but he's not going anywhere.

There are family tree gaps that I want to play with then. (Because I am shit at coming up with OCs.) If we take Kataang and their brood off the table, then who is left? Well, Izumi's mother is a mystery. Nope, not anymore, she's Zuko and Katara's firstborn, a firebender and heir to the throne. Hmm, then there's Senna, Korra's mother. We don't have much background on her, either, except that she marries Tonraq who becomes the chief of the Southern Water Tribe after a falling out with his father and brother in the North? So, that was a little far-fetched to me, _unless_ Tonraq had a connection to the SWT already through his mother-in-law, Katara.

See, this works out well (in my head, at least, so bear with me). Sokka doesn't want to succeed his father as chief because he's in love with Suki, and they're involved in new and exciting things in Two Rivers (which becomes Republic City). But Hakoda wouldn't pass the tribal leadership into just anyone's hands and especially wouldn't be that trustful of someone from the North (unless they plan on revealing something in the new comic books, but I've pretty much denied those plots, too). So, enter Senna, daughter of Zuko and Katara, who has the SWT connection through her mother. I haven't thought far enough in advance for how she meets Tonraq and all that, but the Water Tribes are still pretty traditional/patriarchal, I'd guess, so Senna couldn't become the new chief, but her husband could.

None of this comes into play during _Rising Tide_ , really, other than Roku's revelation. I don't even think I'll get as far as Zuko and Katara's marriage in the third part of the trilogy, much less them having children. But I liked the idea of Roku being a bit cryptic with his prophecies, "a descendant as the next Avatar," but how does that work exactly? And the whole "power of the moon" and "power over the blood" thing. I originally planned for it to be spelled out more gradually, but instead it all came out at once in this chapter. There was just too much in LoK, too, that I felt could tie in nicely with Amon and the bloodbending and the harmonic convergence on the Winter Solstice.

Meanwhile, Katara will do what Roku said in regard to Zuko. Love him well. Help him stay to the right path. And continue to be one seriously badass waterbender and strong-willed woman, you know, the role she was denied when the ATLA series ended.


	7. Gifts for a Fire Lord

Green glowing crystals in a cave, blue eyes glistening in the dark but not with the love that looked upon him now—no, it was mistrust, hurt, betrayal, and it killed him inside.

A flash of lightening, the Avatar falls, his sister is laughing. The blue eyes are gone. There is no healing. There is no hope.

He's already dead inside, a life of suffering must be his destiny. At his father's side, he orders attacks on unarmed villages, sacrifices young recruits at the frontlines of battle, plans to scorch the Earth Kingdom, sentences his uncle to death for treason…

His mother is screaming, his father is laughing. He runs down the palace corridor to find them, but it is neverending. He can never reach her. He is running, running, and then… the screaming stops.

He is running again. Azula is laughing. Lightening is flashing. He is too late. Katara is… no! He is screaming. There is always screaming. And running. And so much heat.

Suffering is his destiny—no, his teacher. When will he learn? It is so, so hot. He feels the heat in his fists. The lights are so bright, his anger is so blinding. He's ready for this fight. What has he got to lose? He's already lost everything. He feels the fire flowing through him, but he can't move his arms, he's pinned down. This is not supposed to happen to the Fire Lord. Noooooooooooooo.

"Zuko!"

His eyes shot open, but his surroundings didn't make sense. Some things lingered, the sweat-slicked skin, his heart pounding in his chest, but the heat was fading. Bright lights of the Agni Kai arena were replaced by darkness brimmed in shimmering moonlight. The smell of burning flesh was replaced by a mixture of sweet and salty. He breathed in her scent and relaxed in her embrace, realizing just then that she had been the one holding his arms.

She still gripped tightly. It had been a while since he'd had one this bad.

"Zuko? Are you…"

He sighed. _No. I'm not._

He couldn't hug her back because of the way she held his arms down at his sides, but he had no idea what he had been doing before he woke up. He didn't want to know. The shame would be too unbearable after a nightmare like that. So he didn't move, and she didn't either.

After some time, "Katara, it was like… every bad dream I've ever had… everything that could possibly go wrong… all at once. I… it was—"

"Shhhhhhh. It wasn't real," she whispered. "And it's over now."

* * *

It did not surprise Katara to find Zuko gone the next morning. He was normally an early riser, but he was never a sound sleeper after a bad dream. She could usually stay awake with him, but the parade and events with Fire Sages Satoru and Shyu from the day before made her feel exhausted even now. Or maybe exhaustion was just a new state of being. It seemed that way since she'd moved to the Fire Nation at least. And according to the prophecies, she'd be living there for a while—destined to a lifetime of exhaustion? _Oh spirits, those prophesies… did that really happen? Or perhaps I was dreaming, too._

Either way, there wasn't much she could do about what Roku had said for the time being. And Zuko would turn up sooner or later after he'd had a good sulk. She heard the others making noise in the kitchen, and her own hunger pains urged her to go investigate.

"Good morning, Katara." Iroh set a cup of tea in front of her at the long wooden table where she and her friends spent several weeks together eating, talking, laughing, and planning so many months ago. The same smiling faces were there now, but with the weight of the war lifted from their shoulders. They had grown, but they were still so young. And there was still work to be done, but for the moment, they could relax and be free.

Well, most of them could, anyway.

"Has anyone seen Zuko this morning?" Katara asked.

"Surely out of all of us, you would have been the first to see him, dear," Iroh answered. Zuko had his own room in the beach house, and Katara was staying in Iroh's old room across the hall from him. Of course, everyone knew that one of those rooms would essentially be vacant during their visit. Iroh and Ursa were staying in the west wing of the house to "give the kids their privacy," the general had said.

The teenagers all exchanged knowing glances. They had heard Zuko's screams in the night.

"Um, Katara, is he OK?" Aang asked.

"Yeah, he, uh…" Katara looked around the table at the concerned faces encircling it. Zuko was sensitive about the topic, but half these people knew already anyway. Besides, they were friends. "He had a nightmare."

"Well, that much was obvious," Sokka said. "Maybe we should ask, 'are _you_ OK?'"

"I'm fine. I wasn't even there… at first. And it happens… a lot. I just wish I could help. Make it stop, you know?" Katara stared into her tea cup. There had been a time when it was better. When they had first started sharing a bed, he had even said he slept better with her there. _What happened?_

"I'm sure you are helping more than you realize." Iroh placed a hand on her shoulder. "I can only imagine what he dreams about, but I can't imagine what he'd do if he woke up alone."

"He thinks he has to face everything alone, Uncle. But he has you…and me… and well, all of us. When do you think he'll see that he's not alone? That we'll be there for him?" Katara felt her tears forming and wished they wouldn't.

"I don't know, Katara. It will probably take time. He's not used to depending on people. He's very…. guarded in that way," Iroh explained.

"He can take all the time he needs," Suki added. "It doesn't change the fact that we'll still be there for him."

Everyone nodded in agreement. Iroh squeezed Katara's shoulder. She smiled. _If only Zuko could see, if only he knew…_ Then she realized that perhaps she had been trying to bear his burdens by herself, too, and that they _all_ needed each other. This was her family, after all. What was it her father used to say? _We're like a pack of arctic wolves, always looking out for each other. It's the only way to survive the winter storms._

Ursa emerged from standing in the doorway that separated the kitchen from the dining area. "I can't tell you how much it means to me that Zuko has such wonderful friends. He's always been one to put others' needs before his own. He's compassionate, yes, but it's also a defense mechanism. By focusing on others, he can ignore what he's feeling himself."

"Well, I know what will make Sparky feel better," Toph piped in. "Birthday presents! That'll put the focus on him whether he likes it or not! So, Sweetness, if you wanna go fetch the brooding birthday boy, I think I felt him heading in the direction of the beach this morning."

 _The beach, of course._ "Why didn't you say anything?" Katara scolded.

"If I had, we would have missed out on this lovey dovey, touchy feeling conversation. But now I'm getting kinda sick of it, so go already!"

In her haste to leave, Katara neglected to grab her cloak. The last time she had been on Ember Island, the summer sun bathed it in golden rays of warmth and light. Today the sun hid behind the clouds, and a wintery gust whipped sand into her eyes as she searched the shoreline. He was there, as expected, and also wearing a simple tunic. _He's likely able to keep warm because of the whole firebender thing. Meanwhile I'm freezing my ass off, and I even grew up in the South Pole!_

"Hey you." She stood beside him shivering.

"Hey yourself." He didn't even need a cue. He wrapped his arms around her, enveloping her in his warmth. She sighed.

"Everyone's worried about you."

"Oh?" He took in the scent of her hair, the memory of fear followed by comfort coming back to him. "Oh. I guess they heard, huh?"

"Yeah, but it's okay."

"It's not okay."

"Well, I meant—they care about you, that's all."

They stood there in silence watching the waves for a while. Katara remembered Toph's suggestion and was about to mention it, but Zuko spoke first.

"He used to play with me on the beach. A long time ago. I barely remember it… it's like… the memory is fading. Do you think I should… I don't know, try to hold on to any happy memories I have of him, no matter how few or how faint? Or should I just let it go because of… of how things turned out?"

"Does the memory make you happy?"

"No. I don't know. It makes me think that maybe it wasn't me… that fucked up. That maybe he loved me once. Just because I was… me."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe he had a breaking point like Azula did, and you just didn't see it because you were so young. You remember when times were different, perhaps, but you don't understand why things changed."

"I could ask Mother, but I'm afraid of what her answer might be."

"If you think it would help to know for sure, then do it. If you think remembering him as a better man gives you closure, then do it. But it won't change what happened, and it won't change who he is now. If you want my honest opinion, I'd say let it go."

"I know. I keep telling myself that's what I should do. But I spent so long trying to please him. Trying to figure out what I did wrong—"

"You didn't _do_ anything wrong. And even if you did, like you said, he should've loved you for who you are. That's what real fathers do. Now, you've got a house full of people up there who love you—truly love you—and they want to shower you with birthday gifts, so come on! Enough sulking for today."

"OK, OK. Sorry, you caught me again. The ultimate sulker."

"Wouldn't be the first time I found you moping on this beach."

"Heh."

"But here's what you should do instead. Think of other great memories from this beach. Like sparring with me… and making fire and water shapes in the sky… and just talking."

"Yeah. You're right. Those were great times. Although, I'm surprised you didn't mention…"

Katara knew what was coming, but decided to give him the upper hand anyway. He grabbed her foot, her one weak spot, tickled it, and then started running back toward the beach house.

* * *

"This was my idea, so I get to go first," Toph announced as she plopped a large bag in front of Zuko.

"I already gave him my gift," Aang interjected. "First thing on the morning of his _actual_ birthday." The airbender beamed.

Toph leaned over to whisper in Zuko's ear. "It's a good thing I helped him with those wind chimes. I think he might be tone deaf."

Zuko nodded and offered a nervous smile. _Why do I feel this way? Everyone in this room is a friend or family member. Yesterday I gave a speech in front of thousands of people without a problem. But everyone is staring at me so…so…fondly?_

He took a deep breath and tore into the gift. He then pulled out the largest bag of fireflakes he had ever seen.

"Holy hogmonkeys! I didn't even know they came in bags that big!" Sokka exclaimed.

Zuko hugged his present. "Mine."

"Hey, hey, it's ok. The birthday boy doesn't have to share. Toph, where did you get those?"

"Mai's dad."

"What?" Zuko and Sokka asked in unison.

"Yeah, he went to go work at his cousin's fireflakes factory. They're expanding their market into the Earth Kingdom, and my dad likes to get in early on promising business deals. He sent me a letter asking me if I thought fireflakes would catch on, if it would be a profitable venture for him. I wasn't about to give out my entrepreneurial advice for free…"

Zuko tore open the bag and grabbed a handful. He then handed it over to Sokka. "You should see if they'd catch on in the Water Tribe?"

"Well, I don't know about fireflakes, but increasing trade between the Fire Nation and Southern Water Tribe would definitely be advantageous on both sides." Sokka scooped his own helping out of the bag.

"Oh yeah? What did you have in mind—"

"A-hem! You guys can talk business later," Suki interrupted. "My turn now."

Zuko unraveled the several layers of cloth that Suki had handed to him. He held out a bottle of clear liquid that was about the size of his palm. As he rotated it, the light reflected in a way that made the contents shimmer—no, they _glowed._

Katara's eyes widened. "Wait, is that—"

"Spirit water." Suki nodded.

Zuko nearly dropped the bottle in shock. He recovered and then carefully cradled the bottle with two hands. The last time he had seen spirit water—learned of its healing properties... He dared not look at Katara. Instead, his eyes met Suki's.

"Kyoshi had some business dealings with Chief Arnook in the North Pole. He said my warriors would need it, but the war is over, and besides, we're more of a peacekeeping faction now anyway."

"I couldn't possibly—"

"Zuko. There's more where that came from. And you need it more than me."

"It's too much… for a gift. I don't deserve—"

"You're impossible, you know that!" Suki laughed. "Birthday gifts aren't about what you deserve, silly! OK, fine, then. Accept it as a token of my gratitude for your assistance in Two Rivers."

"My… assistance? All I did was yell a lot… and bail on the meetings."

"You got rid of Guo for us. And brought us both Shinu and Kai who are wonderful assets to the council."

Katara put a hand on Zuko's shoulder. "It's a good thing to have. Who knows? Maybe we can—"

"Thank you, Suki, " Zuko cut Katara off. He didn't want to draw any attention to his scar. Nor did he want to think about that day in Ba Sing Se with the images from his nightmare still fresh in his mind.

"You're welcome. And since I know what Sokka's gift is, you might need it sooner rather than later." Suki smirked and elbowed her boyfriend in the ribs.

"Ow, hey! I guess that means it's my turn." Sokka reached behind his chair and pulled out a package with a very distinct shape.

"A new sword?" Zuko had carefully rewrapped the spirit water and handed it to Katara for safekeeping. He reached out to receive the weapon which had been lightly covered in parchment to conceal it, even though it was obvious what it was.

"Swords," Sokka clarified. "And not just any swords…"

The paper fell away easily, and Zuko gasped when he unsheathed the new daos. He recognized the metal immediately since he and Sokka sparred on a near-daily basis the last time they were on Ember Island. However, seeing the meteorite forged into the curved form of the broadsword left him practically speechless. "How?" was the only word that came out.

"Katara brought me your old swords when she came back from visiting here. Then Piandao and I figured out how much you'd grown and adjusted a little. He tweaked some based on how you've been training, too. He said Lu Ten's swords were not working for you." Sokka paused to look at Iroh. "No offense, General."

"None taken." Iroh nodded.

By this point, Zuko had stepped away from the group and was testing the swords for grip, balance, weight—everything felt perfect. He smiled widely at Sokka. "Spar later?"

"Of course, of course."

Zuko took another test swing, feeling an air of satisfaction with how natural the swords felt in his hands and how much he had improved since he had started training with Piandao again. He felt like he could keep going, running through sequences like this, but he stopped short when he saw his mother's face. She was crying.

"Mom?"

"No, no, I'm ok, Zuko. I'm…happy." Ursa sniffed and forced a small smile.

Zuko sheathed his swords and crossed the room to her, unconvinced. He reached for her hand, unsure of what to say or do.

"Zuko, I'm so proud of you," she said. "And it makes me so happy to see you happy. You… your smile, it's so beautiful. You're…" She reached out to cup his face, her palm just under his chin with fingers tracing his jaw line. He flinched slightly—it was the scar side—as fingertips brushed the rippled skin just below his ear. He knew everyone must be watching, and it shouldn't be a big deal. _It's not a big deal._

Ursa quickly gained her composure. "I guess it's my turn then?"

Zuko knelt on the floor beside his mother, then glanced sideways at Katara. _Oh spirits, is she crying, too? One more present and then sparring. I'm tired of all this attention… and emotion._

"Zuko, you don't have to open these now, but I'll tell you about them." Ursa deposited a stack of folded parchment that had been bundled together with twine in his lap. "I wrote letters to you when I was gone. I could never send them, but I kept them hoping that some day… at best I thought I could have them smuggled in to you. I never imagined this. That we'd be here on your 18th birthday, together. I know I wasn't able to be there for you, and this doesn't make up for it. But I just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you every day. Every. Day. Zuko."

Zuko fought back his own tears. He hadn't imagined so much crying over something as simple as birthday presents. But he never expected to receive gifts that were so meaningful. _Even the big-ass bag of fireflakes is a symbol of peace and progress in the world._

"You're here now, Mom." It was all he could manage to say.

It was a nice moment, but it didn't take long for awkwardness to surface in the silence. Naturally, Toph was the one to break it.

"Alright, you're up Sugar Queen. Let's see what sentimental mushy gushy gift you got your boyfriend. Keep it short and sweet, will ya?"

Katara laughed. "Well, it's a good thing I went last because I got you something to put everything else inside. I didn't even bother wrapping it."

"It's a box," Zuko deadpanned.

"Not just any box…"

Zuko watched in awe as Katara revealed the many features of what looked like a well-crafted storage box on the outside. The wood had been stained a deep brownish-red color, and the lid bore the Fire Nation insignia. It had latches and handles and reminded him of a suitcase, of sorts, something designed to be stationary but could also be easily transported, too. The inside was the most curious, though. With the lid open, drawers and compartments were revealed, some that swiveled off to the side to allow access to others. Everything was lined in red velvet, and some areas had been designed to hold specific items—and said items were already nestled inside, in fact.

In one tray that swung sideways, Roku's topknot crown sat in a customized notch next to another space that Zuko guessed was for his Fire Lord crown. He knew he had been wearing it when they arrived last night. _It must be upstairs somewhere._ Another compartment held the spirit water he had just received from Suki. _How'd she do that?_ He found the knife his uncle had given him as a child tucked in a bottom drawer, also pillowed in its own precut slot of velvet. He slid open the final drawer which contained portraits— the one he used to carry of his uncle, another of his mother, a group of all of them he recognized from when Piandao had them pose around the time of his coronation, one of him and Katara…

"How?"

"That seems to be your favorite word today?" Katara smiled and shrugged. "Um, we owe a lot to Piandao, actually. He's pretty good with the sword _and_ the paintbrush. He helped me stain the wood and imprint the emblem. Jee helped me with the box… he said they were really useful when you're at sea… to help keep everything in its place in case you hit rough waters. He called it a _tide trove_. The velvet lining is imported from the Southern Water Tribe. It's one of Sokka's trade agreements he arranged with the Fire Nation over the summer. The material is not very conducive to your climate, but the ladies in the high court can't seem to resist it." She nodded at her brother, then looked back at Zuko.

"UGH, OK, enough Sweetness, time's up!" Toph squawked.

"Let's hit the beach!" Aang hooted.

"Sounds like fun!" Suki chirped.

The three of them practically flew from their seats. Sokka lingered for a bit, the topic of trade had piqued his interest, but when it was clear that conversation wasn't going to continue, he made his way to the beach as well.

"I think we need a refresher on the tea." Iroh gathered empty tea cups and took them to the kitchen.

"I haven't met the new turtleducks, yet." Ursa wandered toward the courtyard.

Then it was just Zuko and Katara.

"Did you have a nice birthday?" Katara plopped down next to him since he hadn't made a motion to leave, yet. "Or well, it's not over. There's still cake… and singing…and—"

"Please no singing."

"I thought you liked it when I sing."

"I like it when _you_ sing…" He sighed. "I dunno. It's a lot of attention. I'm not used to it."

"What do you mean? You're the Fire Lord. You're in the public view all the time. And you run meetings where all eyes are on you."

"Yeah, I know. But I don't know the public all that well. And people in meetings, well, they just want stuff from me. I'm not used to… people being so giving, I guess."

"Oh, Zuko. You sure do know how to put a damper on everything, don't you?" There was a hint of teasing in her voice, but a little bit _not_.

"Sorry."

"Hey, so the whole point of being here is so you can have fun. So, eat your fireflakes, spar with Sokka, read a letter or two from you mother. Then, let's kick back, relax, and have fun! No Fire Lording, no self-pitying, and NO sulk sessions!"

"Heh. Who made you the birthday queen?"

"I'm _your_ queen. And don't you forget it. Do I need to go get the common sense stick?"

"Oh dear Agni, is that thing still here?"

Katara gave him a sly grin and stood as if to go retrieve her mighty weapon of bossiness. Zuko caught her wrist and pulled her back. "Thank you, Katara. For everything. The planning. The party. The trip. And this amazing box."

"I thought you needed a place to keep your nice things. Besides your old knapsack, that is. And you can still take it with you, wherever you go."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm sorta stuck where I am."

"I know that, silly. But if you do go somewhere, you better take me with you."

"Always, my queen."

With a kiss, the common sense stick was forgotten.

* * *

 **A/N:** Long chapter, so short notes. Mainly attributions, of which there are several. From Emletish and the Stalking series comes: the sparring, talking, and tickling on the beach; Mai's dad going to work in a fireflakes factory (hey, it's better than heading up the New Ozai Society, no?); Piandao as a painter; and the infamous common sense stick.

Sokka lost his space sword on the airship during the comet, so Em has Piandao and Iroh gift him with another one in _Not Stalking Firelord Zuko_. This led me to believe that Piandao still had some of the meteorite, so I decided Sokka would come up with the space daos idea for Zuko's birthday. Should make for a fun sparring session.

Katara's present, the _tide trove,_ is a reference to a conversation she has with Zuko in _Darkness Before Dawn_ about him keeping all of his stuff packed up in a bag in his room at the palace and her realization that he never feels settled or at "home." It's a little reminiscent of his days at sea, but I also imagine it to be just as decorative as it is functional. Kind of like a valet, one of those things that men have in their rooms to put their keys and wallet in. (Even though it kinda sounds like I'm describing a tacklebox, ha!)


	8. Fire and Ice

The winter wind persisted and therefore thwarted their beach plans to some extent. Zuko and Katara eventually joined their friends at the waterfront, but when the icy tendrils of the tide reached their bare feet, it became obvious why no one was swimming.

"I thought this was supposed to be the perfect vacation spot," Toph grumbled. Not that she wanted to swim anyway.

"I don't know. I've never been here in the winter," Zuko replied.

"Apparently Oyster Bay is where it's perfect all year around… at least according to Rena," Katara said, remembering how much the colonial girl had complained about the heat in the capital city.

"I'll make a bonfire. I always liked those as a kid. At least until…" Zuko trailed off and set about the task of finding firewood.

"I'll help you," Aang called after him, then turned to Katara. "Did you tell him, yet?"

"About what?" She brushed her hair out of her eyes and peered questioningly at her friend.

"About what Roku said."

"Oh. No. I just thought we could relax while we're here?" Katara half-hoped she had dreamed about the prophecies. Not that she disliked what they foretold, they just seemed so weighty. It was almost better not to know. And Zuko had to deal with so much already.

"OK!" Aang smiled brightly and bounded off to find Zuko.

 _He's always so upbeat and carefree, even after everything we've been through_ , Katara thought as she watched the Avatar scoop up handfuls of driftwood and chat animatedly with an indifferent Fire Lord.

After the fire had been burning for some time, the younger two of the group expressed their boredom and wandered further down the beach to build sand sculptures with their earthbending. When the chatting amongst the remaining four died down, Katara noticed that Sokka and Suki had gone from cuddly to handsy. It had to be some form of torture to watch her brother do _that_. Zuko picked up on her annoyance pretty quickly, though. "Let's go for a walk," he said.

Zuko seemed to have a destination in mind, and when they arrived at the cave at the far end of the beach, Katara recognized it. They had celebrated her birthday there two summers ago. It was decidedly one of the best birthdays she'd ever had and largely because Zuko had gone to great lengths to make it special for her. _And that was ages before we even…_

Zuko pulled her into a kiss and then led her into the cave. He gave her _the look_ , his sly smile, and she realized that not only did he have a destination in mind, he also had a plan. She was curious and yes, aroused even, but also feeling a bit feisty. _What if I play hard to get? Besides, it's so damn cold…_

The weather appeared to not phase the firebender at all because once inside the cave, Zuko immediately started stripping off his clothes.

 _Okay, then._

"Z-z-zuko, what are you doing?"

"Well, I don't want to get them wet, do I?"

She remembered now. At the back of the cave was a hot spring. Zuko stood still for a few minutes with his back toward her. It seemed like every muscle in his body was flexed, and all he was doing was just _standing_ there, inadvertently driving her crazy. He then looked over his shoulder at her, flashed a seductive smile, and strode to the water's edge. For all his lack of self-confidence in other ways, in _this_ , he did not. Or perhaps it was just where Katara was concerned. Those types of smiles were only reserved for her, after all. And this was something they only shared together.

He eased into the water and sighed. She melted.

"It feels great, Katara. Are you coming?"

 _Playing hard to get was such a stupid idea._ Shivers went down her spine and not because she was cold.

Once she had joined him in the water, he said, "You told me I needed to relax and have fun, so I just thought—"

She cut him off with a kiss. A very insistent, _I-have-to-have-you-now_ kiss. He broke it just briefly to look into her desire-filled eyes before he lost himself in them… and then lost himself in her completely.

They had "bathed" together before back at the palace, but _this_ … this was different. It was such a combination of sensations: the heated pool, _like fire and water_ ; them moving together, _team liquidy hot_ ; the occasional burst of cold air against their heated skin, _opposites attract_ …

And snow.

 _Wait, snow?_

Zuko stilled their motions even though it almost pained him to do so. Katara let out a little whimper in response.

"K-k-katara, why is it snowing?"

"Oh…um…" She tightened the grip she had around him with her ankles before leaning back slightly to look up at the top of the cave. In an act of impulse before entering the water, she had frozen the condensation there. She had also regulated the surrounding air temperature, so that when the water droplets began to melt and fall, they would refreeze, crystallize, and then float down like snowflakes.

The flurries melted instantly when they touched Zuko's skin, she noticed. She wondered if he could feel their icy prickle first like she could, or if everything with him was just constantly _and irresistibly_ hot. He watched the snowflakes fall in between the puffs of steam their quickened breaths made. When he realized she wasn't going to give much more of an answer, he coaxed her to the edge of the pool where he could get more leverage. It wasn't long before their cries of pleasure echoed off the cave's walls.

* * *

On the walk back to the beach house, Katara confessed. "So, I've always had this… fantasy… about doing it in the snow. Or, um, maybe inside an igloo. I dunno."

"Sounds cold." Zuko smirked.

"Yeah, I guess that's the part I couldn't figure out. I never factored a firebender into the equation, though."

"Wait… how _long_ have you had this fantasy?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Oh, come on. It's not like I ever thought I would leave the South Pole."

"Is this what all little Water Tribe girls fantasize about?"

"Zuko, stop it! Maybe I'm just homesick, did you ever think of that?"

"Oh." He looked taken aback. "Are you?"

"Maybe? I don't know. I just don't know if I could live in the Fire Nation for the rest of my life, OK?"

"Whoa, whoa, what brought this on? Nobody's forcing you to stay in the Fire Nation. Even if we… well, I had hoped you would stay with me, but of course, you could go back home whenever you want. I wouldn't stop you." All confidence was lost. Zuko was not the man in the cave anymore. He felt uncertain, vulnerable… and cold.

Katara realized that while she had been playing with snow flurries before, she had just thrown ice daggers without meaning to. And instead of melting upon impact, they had penetrated. _That came out completely wrong. How do I explain? I wouldn't feel so pressured if it weren't for those stupid prophecies.  
_

"I want to go with you," Zuko said.

"Huh?" Katara had been so distracted by her own inner dialogue, that Zuko's comment caught her off guard.

"I want to go with you to the South Pole."

"You d-d-do?"

"Yeah. I want to meet Gran Gran. And eat seaprunes. And go tiger seal hunting with your dad. And try ice fishing. And I want to make love to you in the snow. Or in an igloo… whichever you prefer." He smiled, this time the shy and hopeful smile.

"Technically you've already met Gran Gran…"

"That doesn't count."

"And you've had seaprunes."

"That doesn't count, either."

"And just now, it was snowing, sort of…"

"Katara?" His smile vanished.

"Hmm?"

"Are you… ashamed of me? Do you not… want me to go?

"No! I mean, yes!" Zuko's frown contorted into a look of confusion. Katara made a noise of frustration. "I'm sorry, I can't seem to say what I mean. _No_ , I am not ashamed of you. And _yes_ , I would love to take you to the South Pole!"

"Who's going to the South Pole?" Sokka fell in step with them out of nowhere.

"Sokka! Where did you come from?" Katara squeaked. _And how much did you hear?_

"I've been looking for you two. Lunch is ready. And then after lunch, Zuko, you owe me a sword fight."

"You're on," Zuko replied. "Hey, Sokka, we'll see you at the beach house in a few, okay?" He gave the other teen a rather pointed look, and his meaning was understood.

"Sure thing." Sokka left.

Katara marveled at how easily Zuko could get rid of her brother. She couldn't do that if she tried. In fact, if she had insinuated or even outright asked him to leave, he would take that as all the more reason to stay. _These two have… an interesting relationship._

Zuko interrupted her thoughts with a kiss. His breath was warm on her neck when he whispered, "So… I've always had this fantasy of doing it in a hot spring… inside a cave…"


	9. Forgetting to Remember

The rest of the day passed without consequence. Much to Zuko's surprise, Sokka won their sparring match. Apparently he had been training recently, too, under the tutelage of Shinu who had turned out to be an excellent swordsman. Afterward, the young men retreated to the library with glasses of whiskey in hand. At this point, Katara decided to take a nap. Suki settled into a hammock for a second reading of _Love Amongst the Dragons_. Iroh and Toph played a game of Pai Sho. Ursa and Aang spent the afternoon playing with the turtleducks and talking about Air Nomad traditions. Ursa was especially intrigued by Aang's experience with the chakras. Some time later, Katara and Suki began fussing in the kitchen over a special birthday dessert.

Dinner was none other than Zuko's favorite, komodo chicken. Iroh insisted that after-dinner entertainment involve instruments, and even though Ursa urged Zuko to play the tsungi horn for them, he declared birthday exemption from any kind of performances. Glasses of sake were poured, and the music got a little more lively after that. Eventually the tune of the birthday song was played.

Zuko was grateful that they didn't sing it. His sister would always butcher the song by screeching it out on purpose just to annoy him when they were kids. Despite that, for a split second, he was sad that she wasn't there with them. When a tray of fruit tarts was placed in front of him and after his uncle lit the candles, he made his wish. _I hope Azula gets better._

It was already dark in the courtyard, so he didn't even look at the pastry before biting into it. His mother used to always give him fruit tarts on his birthday, and they would sit by the turtleduck pond to eat them. He was so wrapped up in the memory of it, that the sweet and tangy taste of the tayberry completely caught him off guard.

He choked a little on that first bite. "Wait… how did you?"

"You don't like it?" Katara furrowed her brow.

"Tayberry _preserves_ ," Suki said. "And Lian taught me the recipe. But I thought you said you liked them."

"I do. It's just different." Zuko smiled sheepishly.

Katara and Suki looked unconvinced. He quickly finished his tart and took a second one to hopefully appease them. The music picked up again, another round of sake was poured, and much fun was had by all.

* * *

Katara offered to do dishes since she'd had a nap that afternoon. Everyone else drifted off toward bed at some point. It didn't surprise her, however, to find Zuko in _her_ bed when she got there.

"What are you reading?" Katara squinted to read the title of his book while slipping one leg over Zuko's waist to straddle him.

He lowered the book slightly and raised an eyebrow at her. "Nothing if you plan to stay in that position." The memory of her legs wrapped around him in a cave earlier that day sprang up… along with something else.

"Hmm, _The History of Agriculture in the Fire Nation."_ She tilted her head at him in amusement. "Sounds exciting. You do realize you're on vacation, don't you?"

"I know. And I would probably never have time to read a book like this back home. I was just… I keep thinking about those cool hybrid fruits from Two Rivers. I was seeing if we cultivated anything like that in the Fire Nation."

Katara shifted back slightly so she had easier access to untie the sash across the waistline of his tunic. "You're a dork, you know that?"

"Then you're dating a dork." He pretended to ignore what she was doing, but he knew a certain part of him was giving him away.

Suddenly she stopped undressing him. Before he knew it, she had pushed the book aside and was gently caressing his scarred cheek. His field of view was completely filled with the blueness of her eyes. They looked… concerned.

"Zuko, let me try healing it. Now that we have the spirit water."

"Katara…" He looked away.

"Come on, Zuko. I told you I would, and I will… try, at least. I don't know for sure, but—"

"Does it matter that much to you?"

"I…uhhh, I thought it mattered to you? Don't you want to be free from it?"

"Are you… ashamed of me?"

"Don't start that again, Zuko. I already told you I'm not! I just know that you're trying to let go of your past, and it's a really painful part of your past, so…"

"It doesn't hurt anymore. It's fine, Katara."

"I know it doesn't hurt on the outside, but what about on the inside? How you feel about it… what it represents?"

"None of that will change if you heal it on the outside. So unless you just can't stand to look at it anymore—"

"FINE."

Katara rolled off of him and slumped next to him in the bed. Just before she did, he saw the look in her eyes turn to hurt and confusion. _This… is not going well. How do I explain this better?_

He turned to face her and began lightly stroking her arm. "Katara, I want to save the spirit water for something else. I know we talked about you healing my scar, and I appreciate it, I really do. But if something else were to happen to me… or to you… or anyone else I care about, I want to have the spirit water just in case. I… came out of this fight OK, but I'm not sure if I could… if I'd make it…" _Please, no more pain._

She reached for his hand and interlaced their fingers together. "OK," she whispered. "I understand. And I don't care what it…" She swallowed hard and then looked at him. This time, he saw sincerity in her eyes. "Zuko, I think you're handsome… and strong… and sexy…but…"

"But?"

"The man you are on the inside is what is most important… to me. I love you for _who_ you are, not what you look like."

"I…" He sighed. "I used to think the scar defined who I was. It was a mark of shame… dishonor. But it's not even that…"

"Of course it's not."

"No, literally. It doesn't fit the textbook definition of the mark of dishonor. It's something Dr. Jung showed me in our last session. That according to the rules of the Agni Kai, when one person yields, the other gives him the 'mark of dishonor' on his shoulder. I dunno, ever since he showed me that distinction, I've been thinking…"

Katara shifted so that she was closer to him, arms linked around his and her chin resting on his shoulder.

"…that maybe it was never about me," he continued. "That it's just the mark of… a fucked-up father. I mean, he always saw me as a failure, and I could never measure up—"

"Stop. Don't go there. Just leave it at 'it was never about you.' Because it wasn't. It wasn't your fault."

"I always wanted to be like him when I was a kid. In fact, people always said how much I looked like him. I remember how proud that made me feel, but at one point, I started noticing that when people said that to him, he would cringe. I wonder if…"

"What, Zuko?"

"I wonder if that's why. So… I wouldn't look like him anymore."

"Oh."

"That's funny, actually. Because that's another reason why I don't want you to heal it. Because I don't want to look like him, either."

"But Zuko, looks don't matter, like I said before. You are a different person than your father on the inside. And since he gave you the scar, it still seems to bind you to him, so that's why I thought… you know what? We should probably not talk about it anymore. It's getting late, and I don't want to… fuel your nightmares or anything."

"That doesn't matter… talking about it or not. Dr. Jung says there's something stuck in my brain that makes me dream about it. We have to find it to fix it or something like that…"

"Hmm. Maybe I can help with that, actually."

"You're determined, aren't you?"

"No. Hear me out. In Ba Sing Se, Yugoda taught me some techniques to help the Joo Dees recover their memories. It's just… a way to soothe the mind and clear pathways that might be blocked, nothing too invasive or anything."

"Invasive? You mean, like brainwashing? No way, Katara. The Joo Dees seriously creep me out. Besides, I'm fine. I don't need help remembering. I get to replay it in my head every night, so—"

"But if we could find the part that's stuck or the trigger or whatever… don't you think it's worth a try? Then you don't have to keep reliving it…"

"I…uhhh…"

"Besides, there's a lot more involved to brainwashing. Herbal components and hypnosis and such. That's not what I'm talking about. Just a little healing water to the head. That's all."

"How do you know so much about… nevermind. No. If you've only done it on the Joo Dees, then you don't know what it could do to a normal person."

"I did it on Jet."

"Oh that's just great. Yeah, that's real comforting. Because Jet's not crazy or anything…"

"FINE." She pushed away from him and slumped back into the exact position—and mood—she had been in ten minutes earlier.

Zuko let out a noise of frustration. _She's just trying to help. She's persistent and stubborn about it, but… I do trust her._

"Okay," he whispered.

"Hmm?"

"You can try it."

"Are you sure?"

"No. But what have I got to lose?"

"Zuko, if you're uncomfortable… I don't want to push you…"

"Just do it."

Before Zuko could say anything else by way of expressing his second thoughts on the matter, Katara had straddled him again and gloved her hands in glowing water. He closed his eyes and tried to relax, but his thoughts wandered to where her weight pressed into him slightly at his hips. _Mmmmmm…_

One minute he was imagining himself flipping Katara over and planting furious kisses all over her body. The next, a golden blur pushed him into a scene from his past, his family at the beach on Ember Island. His mother was laughing, and his father was… tickling him… and then chasing him… and then splashing him with water. None of it was especially affectionate, but it was _fun._

Then another flash of gold, and Zuko saw his mother hovering over his bed. Her laughter was gone, and her cheeks were stained with tears. She lowered the hood of her cloak and spoke. "Zuko, please, my love, listen to me. Everything I've done, I've done to protect you." Zuko blinked to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Then Ursa pulled him into a hug. "Remember this, Zuko. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are."

Zuko found himself in yet another golden haze before he was back in his childhood bed again. He would have assumed it was the same memory except he realized that he was older. _About thirteen_. Another flash of gold, but this time it was his father's flaming fist as the man loomed at his bedside. Even in the dark of night, Zuko could see Ozai's fire flare in his rage-filled eyes. Still unsure of whether he was dreaming or not, Zuko's scream was stuck in his throat.

And then he was screaming into Katara's shoulder. She held him tightly like she did after a nightmare. His neck and his back were slick, either from sweat or the healing water she had released, or both. When the pounding in his ears finally stopped, he could hear her saying, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

After she had gently guided him to lay back down, he waited for her to say something else. To ask him what he saw. To find out if it helped. She didn't. She just held him, and he let the steadiness of her breath and the coolness of her touch calm him. _Maybe it wasn't a memory. Maybe it was just a dream. Right. A memory of a bad dream._

Except that he knew that it wasn't.

* * *

 **A/N:** Just as a quick reminder from DBD, Shinu and Lian are Arik's parents, and the family resides in Two Rivers (although Arik will be moving to the capital soon). Shinu serves on the council with Sokka and Suki, and I imagine that as their elder, he takes the teens under his wing, so to speak.

There are two references in this chapter to my side fic, _The Doctor Is In_ , which details conversations with Dr. Jung. Zuko mentions the "mark of dishonor" in their first session (chapter 2) but then they explore this further in the context of official Agni Kai rules in Session 3 (chapter 5). I also have a snippet entitled _Happy Birthday Zuzu_ (chapter 6) about Azula which references the birthday song and fruit tarts.

"And much fun was had by all," is my tribute phrase to Emletish because I am having so much fun writing this and because I continue to be inspired by other fanfiction writers AND reviewers. Many thanks to you all! So, in _Not Stalking Zuko_ , Katara and Zuko have a conversation about getting more spirit water and healing his scar after the war is over. Proceed with head canon ramblings: First of all, I have a reason that Suki gets the spirit water, some interesting political things afoot. That will come later. Secondly, I can't have Zuko without his scar. It just doesn't work for me. Some writers have Katara heal it, but I'm honestly not sure by the end of the series if Zuko would want her to (if she even could).

Zuko _is_ sensitive about it. He avoids mirrors and doesn't like for anyone to touch it. But he's starting to think about it differently. _Not_ having it doesn't change what happened or who he is. It is a mark of his character, of sorts, but not one of dishonor like he previously thought. It marks him as strong, honorable, and enduring. For me as a fan, I can't see him without it. For me as a writer, his character development is centered around it. It even symbolizes that he is _teachable_ , which is obvious from his redemption arc in the show. _Suffering will be your teacher_... Ozai, you had no idea.

Zuko's recovered memory will also come back into play later. So, yes, his father came into his room one night and thought about burning him sometime prior to the Agni Kai. Hmmm, I wonder why...


	10. Remembering to Forget

The next morning Iroh and Zuko arrived first at the breakfast table. They exchanged the usual "firebenders-rise-with-the-sun" expression followed by pleasantries about the cooler weather and the blend of tea that Iroh had brewed. As they sipped said tea in companionable silence, Zuko reflected that he did feel more relaxed on this little Ember Island vacation. Perhaps a Fire Lord should get away more often.

"Uncle, if we're both here, who's running things back home?" Zuko wondered if it was bad that this thought didn't strike him until just now.

"Oh, the council will manage in our absence, I'm sure," Iroh replied.

"The _council_ can be quite divided at times. It's a wonder we get can _anything_ done." Zuko sighed as he remembered the heated discussions from many a morning meeting he'd had recently.

"It is definitely an interesting mix of people," Iroh agreed.

"You can say that again. Let's see, there's Satoru who is such a _bigot_ , but I can't get rid of him because he is the High Sage. Then Lady Za Jei as military advisor who is just a combative as her title suggests. Piandao does a good job as peacemaker, but you can't compromise on _everything_. And Jee just sits there and points out how wrong everyone else is."

Iroh chuckled. "And yet, somehow you're supposed to get _advice_ from these so-called advisors."

"I know, I know, I'm supposed to draw wisdom from more than one source."

"Hmm, I don't think that's entirely applicable in this scenario. You can learn just as much from the _unwise_ as you can from the wise. Working with a group of dissenters will better hone your skills as a leader than having a council that agrees with you all the time."

"I guess. I mean, that's partly why I assembled the group in the way that I did. But still… a little agreement would be nice every now and then. Sometimes I just think it would be easier… if it were just me."

"Easier, perhaps. But not the best. And you've never been one to choose the easy path, Zuko."

"Yeah, but is it the best?"

"I think the council will evolve as your leadership does. And as the Fire Nation does. Time will tell. But for now, do what you've always done in those meetings. Speak your mind…. And speak for those who can't speak for themselves." Iroh smiled warmly and placed a hand on Zuko's shoulder. Then he went to refill his cup and found that the tea pot was empty.

"Let me, Uncle."

When Zuko was in the kitchen making more tea, Katara gave him a sneak-attack hug from behind.

"Hey, sleepyhead," he said.

"Mmm, I slept great. Did you?" Katara didn't remember him waking up in the night with any bad dreams.

"Yeah, I slept fine." In truth, Zuko hadn't slept much at all. He was afraid that if he fell asleep, that whatever pathway Katara had unblocked with her healing water would refresh his nightmares with new images he'd never faced before.

Katara started rubbing his shoulders but was pleasantly surprised that his muscles didn't feel as tight as they usually did. Perhaps the vacation was doing him some good after all. Her fingers trailed down, lingering at his lower back. He sometimes held tension there after swordfighting. She began to rub small circles with her thumbs. He flinched.

"Zuko, wha—?" She lifted his tunic to reveal a bruise on the small of his back. She realized it must have been from where her heels dug into him when they were in the cave. "Oh, Zuko, here, let me…"

She reached for the sink, but he grabbed her wrist. "Don't, Katara."

"But, why?"

"Just stop trying to fix me, OK?"

She jerked her hand away at the forcefulness of his voice. "But, it was my fault. I just wanted to—"

"Just because it's painful, doesn't mean it's from a bad memory… and… and… not every bad memory needs to be remembered, either."

"Zuko, I—"

"Just forget it." Zuko then brushed past her and stormed out.

* * *

"Hey Katara?" Aang poked his head inside the library where she had been looking for something interesting to read to take her mind off Zuko. She had discovered that Ursa maintained an impressive selection on herbology.

"Yeah?"

"Did you know Zuko is throwing angry fireballs on the beach?"

 _Not surprising._ "No, why?"

"Is he OK? Did he have another nightmare?" Aang came into full view, and Katara thought he looked taller than she remembered.

"No, he's probably just letting off steam. In fact, you should go spar with him. It's been ages since he's done any firebending training."

"Spar with an angry Zuko? No thanks! Besides, I haven't been training, either."

"You haven't?"

"No… I guess there hasn't been much time lately. With the search for airbenders and all."

"But Aang, aren't you supposed to master all the elements as the Avatar?"

For a boy who smiled so much, the frown looked very out of place on his face, Katara thought. His tone of voice was quite uncharacteristic, too. "It takes _years_ to master the elements, Katara. Excuse me for wanting to take a little break after the war."

With that, Aang stormed off, too, and Katara realized that she'd managed to anger and alienate her boyfriend and best friend in the span of an hour. _Could this day get any worse from here?_

* * *

As fate would have it, yes, things could get worse. When Ursa returned from her outing into town, she revealed a flyer that she'd found, and a heated discussion ensued over lunch.

"No, we are NOT going to see the Ember Island Players again," Aang said emphatically.

"I second that," Zuko agreed.

"But it's _The Boy in the Iceberg: Abridged and Revised_ , which means it will be shorter and less painful. Plus, they should get the ending right this time," Sokka said.

Ursa ran her fingers over the flyer. "It's been ages since I've seen a play. It says here, 'New revised ending: see how Fire Lord Zuko comes out on top and saves the day.'"

Zuko let out an exasperated noise. "So, they _still_ got the ending wrong because it was Aang who saved the day, not me. And I'm sure what they mean by _coming_ and _topping_ is how many threesomes I'm a part of."

"Zuko!" Ursa flashed him a look of shock. "You didn't!"

"Of course I didn't. Mom, I thought you knew me better than that." He rolled his eyes.

She laughed. "No, not the threesomes. I meant, you didn't go see the late night showing, did you?"

"Yup, he sure did," Toph piped in. "He even took innocent twelve-year-old kids with him."

Ursa looked disapprovingly at Zuko who then shot a glare at Toph. "You were hardly innocent, Toph," he grumbled.

"Well, I'm proposing that we go see the matinee. Good clean fun. Like we used to when you were a kid, Zuko." Ursa gave a hopeful smile. Katara recognized the expression as something very similar to what she'd seen on Zuko's face before.

"Well, the acting wasn't too terrible. And the effects were quite good." Sokka shrugged. "I think it could be fun."

Zuko and Aang groaned in unison.

"If everyone will just relax and take things in stride, I think it will be lots of fun," Iroh said. His words seemed to seal the deal. They were going whether they liked it or not.

* * *

When they arrived at the theater, they noticed a long line was forming for the other play that was being performed that day. Zuko didn't want to disappoint his mother, so he had begrudgingly gone along with the plan, but the prospect of a different play intrigued him.

He leaned in so that only his uncle could hear him. "I think I'm going to take Katara to the other play if that's OK. We don't ever get a chance to go on a proper date, so…"

"Very well, Nephew." Iroh handed him some money. "Enjoy."

Zuko grabbed Katara's hand which surprised her somewhat since he had seemed to be avoiding her up until that point. "Come on, let's go," he said.

Once they were in line, they could read the poster's description of the play, "Forbidden Love: The Story of a Nobleman and a Peasant and how they overcame all odds to be together."

"That kinda sounds like the story of Kuei and Song," Katara observed.

"Yeah." Zuko pulled his hood more tightly around his face. The last time they were here, he was an outcast. Even as the banished prince who had betrayed his country, he could hide in plain sight among the costumed fans. This time, not so much.

At the box office, Zuko leaned in close and whispered, "How many does a private box seat?"

"Six, sir," the clerk replied.

"Then I'd like to buy all six seats in whichever box is your most private."

Katara noticed the way Zuko's eyes darted back and forth as they ascended the stairs, and he looked almost… _devious._

 _Private box, hmm.  
_

"Zuko! Don't tell me you have some… fantasy… about a theater box, too, because… I won't… I'm not…"

"Shhhhhhh. No, Katara. I just don't want to be seen, that's all. I forgot how easily I might be recognized. I just want to enjoy the play… with you… without any unnecessary attention."

"Oh. OK."

Admittedly, it _was_ nice to have the whole box to themselves. When the lights dimmed, Zuko did lean over and give her a kiss. Then, the curtain rose, and a narrator spoke.

"Love knows no reason, no boundaries, no distance. It has a sole intention of bringing people together to a time called forever. In a tale of forbidden love that brings together the Fire Nation and the Water Tribe during a fragile era of peace in the world, we bring to you the story of Kuzo and Takara."

Katara's heart skipped a beat, and she felt Zuko go rigid beside her. This was a play about _them_.

* * *

The first act opened with Kuzo yielding to his father in an Agni Kai. He received the traditional "mark of dishonor" on his shoulder and was told to go out into the world to find his honor and not come back to the family estate until he did. The young boy then left his home as a noble in the Fire Nation to travel the world, embarking on many life-changing adventures.

While exploring in the South Pole, he met a waterbender named Takara, and they shared a bond over the mutual loss of their mothers. She decided to travel with him, and their relationship deepened. He rescued her from the clutches of pirates. She saved him from freezing to death in the North Pole. At one point, he started to feel conflicted about his identity and expressed a desire to go home. They had a fight and parted ways in Ba Sing Se, but they soon reunited in the Western Air Temple where he confessed to her that _home_ just wasn't the same anymore.

* * *

During the intermission, Zuko and Katara didn't say much. They'd held hands throughout the play and gave each other squeezes at significant moments during the plot. They both silently agreed that while the storyline was clearly an adaptation, it hit much closer to home than _A Boy in the Iceberg._

* * *

Act Two: When the word of his father's corrupt business dealings reached him, Kuzo knew he had to do something. His sister, Luza, still lived at home, and he was worried about her. Takara said she would help him, and together they traveled back to the Fire Nation. When they arrived, they discovered that Luza had overthrown their father by exposing his crimes and having him arrested. However, she ran the estate even more shrewdly than their father had, and Kuzo felt he had no choice but to challenge her to an Agni Kai for his rights to the estate.

During the siblings' fateful duel, Luza saw Takara watching as a bystander and decided to target her instead. Without hesitating, Kuzo jumped in front of his sister's lightening to save Takara's life and in turn, sacrificed his own. Takara then fought Luza to the death, and afterward stood at her fallen lover's side to deliver a lengthy, heart-wrenching monologue about love, loss, war, and peace.

* * *

When the curtain fell, and the lights came back on, Katara just stared blankly at the stage. It ended so tragically, but overall, the play was really well done. She made a motion to start clapping but then realized that no one was applauding, yet. _Maybe it's inappropriate after a sad ending like that._

Zuko stood abruptly and whispered, "Hey, let's go. Maybe we can get out of here before anyone sees us."

 _That's a good point. Especially since we're the stars of the play, essentially,_ Katara thought.

But before they could get very far, an announcer came on stage. So, they stayed rooted to the spot, listening.

"Ladies and noblemen, I hope you enjoyed this afternoon's performance! I have a couple of important announcements before you leave. First of all, today's matinee was our first ever sell-out crowd for this show!"

The audience applauded then, and the man waited before speaking again.

"I have heard that certain events in the capital may have something to do with that, so we'll be sure to keep following the news from there."

Katara could sense Zuko's pulse quicken at this statement. _What is he talking about exactly?  
_

The announcer continued, "I wish I could give credit to our playwright, but the script came to us anonymously. It was only signed, 'Forget who I am, I am not important. But remember who they are, for their story is forever.'"

There was a collective response of "awwws" and "mmmms" from the crowd. Katara felt Zuko shifting his weight between his feet as if he was poised to take off running.

"But we do have a special visitor with us today!"

That would have been the cue to run if they truly didn't want to be seen. But it was too late.

"Fire Lord Zuko has honored us by attending today's performance. Thank you, sir, and on behalf of the Ember Island Players, I hope you enjoyed the show." The man bowed and then raised a hand, gesturing toward their supposed "private" box.

Katara was impressed that even though Zuko had gone paler than she thought possible, he managed a genuine smile followed by a bow and then a wave to the crowd. Out of the corner of his mouth, he murmured, "Bow, Katara."

 _Oh, right._ She did, and there was an eruption of applause once more.

* * *

When they caught up to everyone else in the theater lobby, it seemed that _The Boy in the Iceberg_ had not improved much despite the attempt at revisions.

"I'm just going to forget that ever happened," Toph said with her arms folded across her chest.

"I _told_ you guys," Aang groaned. "Next time you'll remember this was a bad idea."

The man who had made the announcements then wedged himself in their group to make his formal introduction as the theater's manager. He apologized for the other play's disappointment, but then brandished eight complimentary tickets to the next day's showing of _Forbidden Love_ if everyone wanted to come back.

He turned to address Zuko directly. "Fire Lord, may I ask if you have any suggestions or requests for the play?"

"It's fine. The actors are very talented, and it's well-written, too," Zuko said in a very noncommittal tone. When everyone kept looking at him expectantly, including the theater manager, he added, "Err, um… yes. I do have one request. Do NOT make a late night showing out of it. Contrary to popular belief, I am NOT into threesomes."

The manager laughed. "Of course, of course. Although a late night version would probably dispel that rumor, don't you think? Show people what you're really into?" He then flashed Katara a sly grin. She didn't like the sound of that _or_ the way the man had just looked at her.

"No. Absolutely not. Fire Lord's orders. And don't you forget it."

* * *

 **A/N:** Threesomes! So, if you haven't guessed, Emletish spices things up with the Ember Island Players and a "late night showing" of _The Boy in the Iceberg_ which is obviously a bit saucy. OK, a LOT saucy. I think reading her rendition of the play may be the most I've ever laughed at fanfiction. So, check it out, _Not Stalking Zuko_ , Chapters 22-24, Embarrassment in Three Acts.

I think there might be other fics out there where the EIP put together a play about Zuko and Katara. I know the plot to my play isn't super great. The focus isn't so much on that plot, but the surrounding plot, where Zuko and Katara are starting to get more public attention as a couple. And because of their kiss at the parade, the gossip has already started spreading about the Fire Lord's love interest (therefore creating heightened interest in this particular play).

The interesting question is... _who_ wrote the play? Hmmmm.


	11. Let Them Eat Cake

When their group rallied in the plaza outside the theater, Iroh pronounced, "Is it just me, or does anyone else have a craving for cake?"

It was indeed that time of day when a snack sounded like a good idea. _Tea time_ , the ladies of the Fire Nation high court called it, Katara remembered. Also known as _gossip time._

"There's a great new tea shop around the corner," Iroh said without skipping a beat.

The shop owner met them at the door and of course, he and Iroh knew each other already. They exchanged the formalities, as did Zuko, Ursa, and Katara who were all standing at the front of their group as they crowded just inside the entrance.

"I'm afraid I don't have a table that will seat all of you," the owner lamented. "But I can split your group into two tables of four if that's alright."

"Not a problem at all," Iroh said. "I trust business is going well." He nodded approvingly at the apparent popularity of the place.

"Yes, yes, I think the Eastern Dragon is catching on just as quickly as its sister locations did." The owner gestured toward the only two remaining tables.

Iroh, Zuko, Katara, and Ursa ended up at one table, and Aang, Toph, Sokka, and Suki sat together a few tables away from them. The shop's other patrons had obviously recognized them when they came in, and Zuko slumped down in his chair, hoping to avoid the many curious gazes that were cast in their direction.

"You really should get out of the palace more often, Nephew." Iroh laughed at Zuko's obvious discomfort.

"Uncle, this place sorta looks like… the shop in Ba Sing Se," Katara observed.

"That is because it happens to be the Jasmine Dragon's newest affiliate," Iroh answered, beaming.

"Oh." Katara furrowed her brow. "But why call it the Eastern Dragon when Ba Sing Se is… ohhhhh… is the tea shop in the Caldera affiliated, too, then?"

"That one would be the Western Dragon, and it is the pioneer location, yes."

"Wait… you owned a tea shop before the one in Ba Sing Se?" Zuko asked.

"Yes, I found it to be a nice distraction when I came back from the war. It was during a part of my life when I needed to realign my priorities. Plus, one should always make time for tea and cake. Let's order some, shall we?"

A group of girls then walked briskly by their table, all giggling and waving at Zuko. He rolled his eyes. Katara tried to ignore the pang of jealousy she felt.

"Zuko, be polite," Ursa spoke in her usual even tone. "From what I gather, you're a star in a play now. Not to mention the leader of this country. You will have to learn how to indulge your fans at least a little bit."

 _Fans?_ This was an entirely new concept to Zuko. He looked questioningly at his girlfriend. "But, Katara was in the play, too. She's as much a star as I am."

Just then, their server, an apron-clad teenager from the Earth Kingdom, arrived. "But she's the _peasant_ , remember. Nobody really cares about her," he said with a hint of disdain.

"Excuse me?" Katara eyed the server incredulously.

Zuko remained surprisingly calm. " _I_ care about her. And I don't really care what others think. She could be Fire Nation nobility or from the lower districts in Ba Sing Se, it doesn't matter to me."

"Don't even pretend like you care about those of us from the districts," the other teen snapped. "You don't even know what it's like down there."

"I'm sorry, but have you even _seen_ the play?" Zuko retorted. "There is some element of truth to it… _specifically_ all the places I've been."

Iroh loudly cleared his throat. "Alright there, that's enough. I'm sure we can—"

Another voice entered the scene, this one a young man from the Fire Nation. "Forget the Earth Kingdom peasants! What does our Fire Lord care for those who suffer in his own nation? We have poverty and famine to rival that of Ba Sing Se's lower districts, and here our illustrious leader throws lavish parties, dates exotic women, and takes luxurious vacations."

A third man stepped in, and suddenly afternoon tea threatened to become a midnight tavern brawl. "You will respect your Fire Lord," he growled while raising his fists.

Both Iroh and Zuko stood to intervene, but the tea shop owner was quick to act and managed to escort the three troublemakers outside before anything else could happen. "I am so sorry about that General Iroh… and Fire Lord Zuko. My ladies, please accept my sincere apologies," the owner said when he returned. "Jin! Table nine needs assistance please!"

"Jin?" Zuko had just sat down, but he stood back up again when their new server arrived tableside.

"Hi, Lee, oh… ha… um, Fire Lord Zuko." She blushed.

"What are you doing here?" Zuko still seemed confused about what he should be doing in this situation. Bow to her? A hug? A handshake? Serve her tea?

"Oh, my boyfriend, Than, and I are transfers from the Jasmine Dragon. I've been working there since the war ended. They needed some people to help start this new shop. I've never been anywhere else, so I thought it would be fun." She shrugged and then started arranging cups and saucers on their table. "You'll have to forgive Than, though. He's having a harder time adjusting, I think."

Zuko fidgeted a little more and then finally sat down. He still found it unnerving that nearly everyone in the tea shop appeared to be watching them. "Wait, so _that_ guy is your boyfriend?"

Jin sighed. "Yes. He's a good guy, really." She then turned to face Katara. "I'm sorry that he insulted you. I'm Jin, by the way. I'm not sure if we've met."

Katara gave a small Fire Nation style bow but then wondered what exactly was socially appropriate for them, two _peasants_ from the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribe exchanging greetings in a setting among Fire Nation nobility. She also felt certain they had met before, but then realized that eavesdropping on Zuko's date with her probably didn't count.

Jin was just as talkative and bubbly now as she had been then. "But I feel like I practically know you anyway. Everyone has been talking about you two."

"Oh, really?" Zuko raised an eyebrow at her.

"Well, I guess we can dispel the rumor that you've sailed off to the South Pole to get married, then, since you're here." Jin put a hand on her hip. "Did you come _here_ to get married?"

Katara started coughing, like she had swallowed wrong or something. _Married? Haven't we only just kissed… like once... in public?_

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Jin backpedaled. "I haven't even taken your order, yet."

Once their tea and cake had been served, Jin lingered to chat with them even more. "Of course, I think an Ember Island wedding would be nice. You have the beach and the mountains… plus there's loads to do here."

"Oh yeah, what would you suggest? Besides going to a play… and hiking the volcano…" Zuko asked in earnest.

"Well, have you ridden The Last Airbender, yet?"

Katara started coughing _again_. This time she was grateful to have her tea to sip, but she also silently cursed the stupid Ember Island Players for planting the dirty notion of threesomes in her mind. The resulting image after what Jin had just said… she shook her head as if trying to rid herself of it.

"Is that the zipline thing?" Zuko didn't seem to notice Katara's flushed face.

"Yeah," Jin replied. "So, it's pretty popular with the locals. And couples like it because they harness you in together all nice and tight." She then seemed to suddenly acknowledge Iroh and Ursa's presence. Iroh simply smiled. Ursa remained expressionless. "Err, um, but it may not be the best thing to do in the winter, I don't know," Jin added.

As they were leaving, Zuko doubled back to speak to Jin one last time. Katara followed, still feeling a bit on edge about everything, her newfound celebrity status, of sorts, the influx of gossip from the capital, the relentless stares from everyone at the tea shop, _and_ the excessive friendliness of a girl who once dated her boyfriend.

Zuko handed over two tickets as Jin was clearing their table. "Here. Take Than to the play… you know, if you can get the time off…"

The Earth Kingdom girl glanced nervously over at the tea shop owner. "Well, I don't know if he'll have a job after today."

"That's OK. I'll have my uncle put in a good word for him. It was a… simple misunderstanding." Zuko nodded to her, and then took Katara's hand in his.

"Thanks, Fire Lord Zuko," Jin said. "And it was nice to officially meet you, Katara."

Zuko then led Katara out of the tea shop to join the rest of their group. It felt nice to not be so secretive about their relationship for a change, but she really wished that people would just stop staring so much. _We're just holding hands for spirits' sake. The next thing they'll be talking about will be threesomes, no doubt!_

* * *

When everyone else went back to the theater the next day to see _Forbidden Love_ , Zuko convinced Katara to try the zipline with him. The idea of flying through the air suspended by a cable sounded fun to her. The mongoose lizard ride they had to take deep into the jungle in order to embark on this adventure, however, did not. Zuko assured her they were perfectly tame, but the last time she'd seen these creatures, they had been hunting her… with Mai and Ty Lee on their backs.

"But Ty Lee is a friend now," Zuko offered by way of comfort. "And Mai, too, sort of."

"Just because _they_ are more friendly doesn't mean I think these beasts are." Katara wasn't sure what bothered her more, their menacing spikes or yellow beady eyes.

"It'll be fine. Come on, we can ride together, if that'll make you feel better."

The mongoose lizard handler simply shook his head at the teens and handed the reins to Zuko. At this reaction, Katara felt a little silly and almost requested her own mount, but Zuko took her by surprise when he lifted her swiftly into the saddle and then settled in behind her. She sighed as she leaned into him. He always had a way of making her feel safe.

They soon arrived at an old wooden tower-like structure, and Zuko tied up the mongoose lizard to a nearby post. Katara read the weather-worn sign, "The Last Airbender: Take to the skies and experience the thrill of your life."

"They really should change the name of it," she said.

"Yeah, they should," Zuko agreed. "It's been around for ages, though. I've never done it, but I know my cousin did."

"Well, at least we know someone who lived to tell about it." Katara wished she could take back the words as soon as she said them.

Zuko didn't say anything in response, but his sidelong expression said enough. He rubbed his hands together, still sweaty from holding the reins, and then began to climb the rickety ladder toward the top of the tower. Katara followed, then wondering if the mongoose lizard should have been the least of her worries. _Been around for ages, huh?_

They were greeted by a lively old man at the top who looked like he might be as old as the tower, but both were still standing and in full operation, he guaranteed. He recommended that they harness up together because that's what all the _youngin's_ do, plus the additional weight would make them go faster. He tried to convince Katara to remove her waterskin for safety purposes, but she wouldn't have it. After the incident at the parade, she was determined never to go without it again.

Again, she leaned into Zuko's strong form and reveled in that familiar sense of security before he began the countdown to their jump.

"You ready, Katara?" The rasp of his voice brushed across her ear. "OK, in three, two, one…"

It was a glorious feeling! Like flying but completely different than being on Appa. Granted it _was_ a little cold as the air whipped in their faces, but Katara spread her arms out to embrace the sensation of weightlessness… of free-falling…

Then, it was a little too much like free-falling.

Katara fought the blur in her eyes the wind caused so she could see more clearly. They were, in fact, going down, not across. _Is this… supposed to happen?_

Zuko's laughter quickly turned into frantic yelps. "Katara, the line… it's…"

She whipped out the water from her skin, but at that point they were falling so fast, she couldn't get a grip on anything. She could tell they were below the treeline as an occasional branch would catch her arm or leg, shooting pain through her entire body. When she realized she wouldn't be able to grab anything with the octopus arms form, she encased them in a giant bubble of water. At least maybe she could cushion the impact of their fall.

Zuko had been working furiously, too. At first, he tried to leverage the harness or the cable somehow, thinking he could also use the trees to their advantage. He then had the idea of using fire propulsion from his feet to slow them down, but Katara's water bubble squelched the breath he needed in order to properly firebend. In a frantic combination of adrenaline and hard concentration, he was able to burst the water in time to push the flames through his feet that would effectively soften their fall. His fire plus her water, however, enveloped them in a cloud of pressurized steam. He gripped her tightly for the last several feet of their descent… but oh, how it _burned._

They lay on the ground panting and motionless for a few minutes. They were still strapped together, and Katara had therefore landed on top of Zuko. He groaned as he rolled them over to their sides and fussed with the buckles of the harness.

"I had it, you know," she said in between trying to catch her breath.

"What?"

"We would've been fine with the water, if you hadn't…"

Zuko jerked the harness off with unnecessary force and pushed himself away from her. "S-s-sorry for saving your life."

"Well, this was your stupid idea anyway." She rolled to her back to look up at the sky, the one that was now void of a cable line that had once been there.

Zuko let out a noise of frustration. He then examined the redness on his arms and reached up to touch the tenderness on his neck. They were minor burns, nothing really, but they still stung. He saw that Katara had them, too, along with several cuts and scrapes from the tree branches. Still, it could've have been much worse.

"I don't suppose you know where we can find some water around here," she snapped. "Mine just disappeared into thin air."

"I thought you could just command water out of thin air!"

"Well, I'm a little stressed right now!"

Yeah. You're right. We should find some water." His tone softened. It wouldn't do any good to fight in their current circumstances. "And we should get moving. We don't want to be stuck out here after dark."

The memory of a scorpidillo sting was all it took for Katara to launch herself to her feet. She then realized, too, that arguing was stupid when their survival was at stake.

"We should go… this way." Zuko noted the position of the sun. "If we head toward the beach, then we can follow that around back to the house. Or maybe find someone to help."

Zuko gathered up the harness and pieces of the cable he could salvage stating that they could come in handy. Katara prayed to Yue that they wouldn't need any of his special survival skills, because either help was on the way—surely someone had seen—or perhaps the beach was just up ahead.

After they had walked a ways, Zuko did find _something_ that would shed light on their situation.

"Katara, it's the other end of the cable," he said as he pushed aside some leaves and sticks to get a closer look.

"Well, I guess since it was so old, it was bound to break sooner or later."

"No, Katara." Zuko gasped. "The line was cut. It… wasn't an accident."


	12. Jungle Fever

Katara wasn't sure what worried her more, the fact that someone up on a platform in the sky apparently had a death wish for them or that the nearby hissing sound could mean their imminent death as well.

"Zuuuuuuuuuko!" She ran to catch up to him. "Why are we going this way now?"

He shielded his eyes from the sun with one hand while pointing with the other. "Because we're now going away from _that_ tower. Someone was there who wants to kill us, and I don't think I want to meet them in person."

"But we're two master benders. We could handle it. Besides, I thought you said we should head for the beach." The idea of a whole body of water at her command sounded _very_ comforting.

"Katara, we have no idea what we're up against… who they are, how many of them there are… Also, it's an island. No matter which way we go, we'll end up at the beach eventually."

Katara groaned. She felt frustrated and angry, not so much at Zuko, but just at everything. "Still, I think we could take them."

Zuko stopped dead in his tracks. "I'm NOT going looking for a fight. You said you can't even properly waterbend when you're _stressed_ , so…"

"Well, I was doing just fine until you messed everything up!"

"Oh, so we're back to that, huh? Remind me to never get stuck in the jungle with you again."

"Oh yeah, who would you rather be with then? Jin?"

Zuko's jaw clinched and his nostrils flared, but another _hisssssssssssss_ sound from the bushes seemed to bring them both back to their senses.

"We really have to get out of here," Zuko said quietly. He reached for Katara's hand, but she didn't take it.

* * *

They walked for nearly an hour without speaking. Then Zuko dared to break the uncomfortable silence that had stretched between them.

"So, what could we have done better?" he asked, his tone neutral.

"Hmm?"

"I think we both had good ideas about how to handle the situation. Maybe we could have worked together better. I don't know."

"Zuko, we were plummeting toward certain death. We didn't exactly have time to plan things out."

"I know, but—"

"I honestly think the water would've worked. It's OK to let someone else take care of you every once in a while."

"It's not… that. I… couldn't firebend. So, I panicked. I-I'm sorry."

"You were panicking about that? When I already had you covered? _I_ was panicking about how quickly the ground was coming at us."

She had stopped walking and turned to face him. He then saw a range of emotions pass across her face, anger that faded into sympathy then followed by concern. He had seen this before. _In the crystal catacombs right before I betrayed her. Oh, Agni, I've let her down, again._

"I fucked up. I'm so sorry." He reached for her again, and this time she reciprocated.

"I revise my earlier statement. You _need_ someone to take care of you, apparently." She laughed. "But the fire jet thing out your feet was a pretty cool idea, too."

"What? But I thought—" _Ugh, girls can be so confusing!_

* * *

After another hour, they finally found water.

"Oh, thank the spirits!" Katara rushed to the pool's edge to refill her waterskin and splash the coolness of her element on her face. The resulting stinging sensation reminded her of her burns, so she began healing them.

Zuko joined her a few minutes later with a handful of small reddish-colored fruit. "I think they're called jujubes."

Katara giggled as she popped one in her mouth. "Juju. Isn't that what Azula calls Dr. Jung?" Zuko only scowled in response.

The fruit was ridiculously sweet, not reminiscent at all of the brain doctor or his prodigy patient.

Even though she already felt pretty drained, Katara began healing Zuko's burns. He sighed and relaxed under her touch. She slipped a hand around to his back, and even though the bruise there had mostly healed itself, she fixed it anyway. He tensed.

"Katara, I told you it wasn't a big deal."

"Yeah, but I never want to hurt you, especially when…"

"I promise you I was not thinking about it at the time… and not much since then, either. You might find this surprising, but I have a pretty high pain threshold."

"But that's just it, Zuko. You've already been hurt so much, I don't want to—"

"Shhhhhhh. It's OK." He put a finger over her lips. "Let's keep moving. We only have a few hours left of daylight. I think we might be close."

* * *

As they continued walking, the jungle terrain changed very little, and Zuko began to get nervous about their location, the timing, their progress… he could tell Katara was feeling anxious, too. Their constant bickering didn't help matters much, either. Perhaps it was time for more light-hearted conversation to help take their minds off things.

He picked a flower and handed it to Katara. "It's a panda lily. It grows here because of the fertile volcanic soil on the island."

"Oh?" She tucked it behind her right ear.

"Um, actually, you should put it behind your left ear. Fire Nation custom is that if you're in a relationship, you put it behind your left ear, and if you're available, you put it behind your right." He smiled shyly.

She moved the flower and smiled back. "Doesn't the panda lily represent love… or passion… something like that?"

"Uhh, it does… in the Earth Kingdom. In the Fire Nation, it symbolizes fertility. Because of the volcanic soil, I think. Or this legend about how the islands were formed, but my mother would never tell the whole story."

Katara then saw a nervous twitch in his smile and thought it mirrored her current thoughts perfectly. _Love. Fertility. Mother._

"Zuko, when Aang and I went to Crescent Island…"

She didn't finish right away, and the only sounds were their feet scuffling on the ground and the occasional bird squawking overhead. Zuko had no idea what she planned to say next but tried not to let his imagination get the best of him.

Finally, "I got to talk to Avatar Roku. He said… we would have children together… and grandchildren, too."

"Oh." He hadn't expected _that._

Katara thought surely such a revelation warranted more of a response from him. "So… what do you think?"

"I think that sounds… likely." _So much for light-hearted conversation._

"Well, don't get _too_ excited about it or anything." She folded her arms across her chest.

"What do you want me to say? Did he say when? Because I wasn't planning on—"

"Well, that's just the thing! It's a prophecy. It doesn't even leave room for a plan!"

"Ohhhh, I get it. So now you feel like you're stuck with me. I _told_ you, you can leave whenever you want. You probably don't want to have my kids anyway…"

"What? Zuko! Why would you say that?"

"Because… it's in the blood, Katara!"

"What is?"

"I don't know. My father—"

"Zuko, why can't you just let it go!? All that stuff with your dad… you need to move on!"

"What do you want me to do? _Forgive_ him?"

"No! Of course, not! I just…" _I want to make it all go away._

At that moment, a bird swooped down and plucked the flower from behind Katara's ear. Zuko nearly resigned to accept that as some sort of signal in and of itself, but as he watched the bird fly away, he saw that nighttime was drawing near.

"Dammit." He had forgotten how early the sun sets in the winter.

"Zuko, what are you doing?"

"I'm making a fire ring. Can you help me collect rocks?"

"Shouldn't we get something to eat first? Like catch something so we can cook it?" She looked apprehensively at the darkening sky.

"The smell of meat will attract tigerdillos or panrillas. Here, I still have some jujubes." He handed over a fistful of fruit he had stashed in his tunic pocket.

"So, you'll make a fire?" she asked.

"I'll make several. Look. I didn't want to make one earlier because I thought it might alert a potential assassin to our location. But by now, there should be a search party out looking for us. And we shouldn't keep trekking in the dark, not with the…"

"The what?" Katara shuddered. She already knew the answer.

"Most animals hunt at night. The fires should scare them off. It'll be OK, Katara."

While gathering rocks and firewood, they also collected various nuts and berries. By the time they finished eating and Zuko had lit the fires, the sun had set completely. The day's conversations seemed forgotten in light of their current situation.

"Katara, you get some rest. I'll take the first watch." He rested his chin on the top of her head as she leaned into him.

"Are you sure?" Katara didn't realize how tired she was until she had settled down in the middle of their fire circle, the warmth of the flames and the frame of her firebender blocking her from the winter night's chill. She didn't hear his answer as she drifted off to sleep.

Zuko tried to stay awake, but lately he had been effectively fighting sleep at night for fear of what horrors his nightmares might bring. The day's events and the cracking of the fires lulled him to sleep within minutes.

* * *

Katara awoke sometime later to about half the fires still burning, the others only a bed of glowing coals. Zuko lay behind her with an arm around her waist, fast asleep. She sighed. _I guess it's my watch, then._

She contemplated whether or not she should change positions, but when she shifted her feet, she heard a HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

 _A razorback adder._ A spiky-scaled snake known for two things: its aggressive nature and its deadly poisonous bite.

"Z-z-zuko," she whispered while elbowing him gently in the ribs. "W-w-we have company."

HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. The snake slithered closer. Everything in Katara's mind screamed RUN, but she figured it would be better to stay still... and as calm as possible. For all she knew, the darkness beyond presented even more dangers, and besides, Zuko was still asleep.

He stirred slightly. "Hmmmm?"

All Katara saw next was a wave of fire as Zuko became aware of the adder's presence, rekindled the ring of fire in full force, and scorched the snake in the process. He had pushed her away in doing so, putting himself in between her and the snake. When she was finally able to catch her breath, she closed the gap between them.

"That was a close one," she whispered.

"Y-y-yeah." His voice sounded pained, and his breath was erratic. Katara then saw, and dread overcame her. He had been bitten.

No problem. She was a healer, after all. _Right?_

She could literally sense the poison moving through his blood and knew she had to act quickly. The puncture wound in his arm was so small, though, it seemed like such an inefficient place to pull the venom out from, yet, she really couldn't fathom any other way. With each stream she bent out of him, she could feel him writhing in pain and her own strength growing weaker.

"T-t-takara," Zuko mumbled.

"Shhhhhhh. It's OK." _Push and pull. In and out. Crest and fall. Break and release. Just like water. Like the waves._ She needed a mantra to keep her going.

Zuko's voice broke through, although strained and faint. "T-t-tell Luza she can have the estate. And t-t-tell my father… I forgive him."

 _Oh spirits, is he delusional? Or dying…_ Katara felt her concentration waning at this admission. The firelight flickered before her eyes, and then became a blur of orange, a wash of heat. The last thing she saw was the moon, high in the sky, commanding the tides.

* * *

 **A/N:** OK, before I get into head canon ramblings about the ZK relationship, here's a little bit of Emletish love from this chapter and the last one. I brought Jin back, yay! (This is something she would do... bring an old character around full circle.) In _Not Stalking Firelord Zuko_ , Iroh actually sets Zuko up on a second date with Jin, and that's the one where Katara eavesdrops... because that's what she does... the stalker that she is, ha! I do have her express a little jealousy over their reunion in the tea shop. Because Jin is cute, no? I would totally ship Jinko over Maiko any day.

Also, Em's portrayal of Ember Island sounds a lot like her homeland of Australia, complete with all the critters that want to kill you. The razorback adder is from _Not Stalking Zuko_ , but I'd guess that it's based on the death adder, a poisonous snake native to Australia? Em also describes Ember Island as very jungle-like. I'm not sure what it's really like in Australia, never been there, but if you look up "zipline in Costa Rica," then you'll have a good idea of what I envision for the scenes from these chapters. Oh, and the flower-behind-the-ear thing is a reference to Hawaiian culture along with the story about volcanoes and fertility in how the islands were formed. (If I remember correctly, it's kinda sexual, which is why Zuko's mom didn't tell him the full story.)

OK, and now onto Zutara analysis at least as it's presented so far in this fic: this chapter is a glimpse into how their relationship is developing, how they might react under stress, and what potential issues they may have. So, I love Katara, but she's pretty much in the wrong this whole time. Zuko's firebending was definitely the better tactic for breaking their fall; the effectiveness of her water bubble would have paled in comparison. In fact, an ice slide would have been a better option, come to think of it. Katara is too stubborn to admit this, but her biggest problem is her insatiable need to just fix everything. It's part of her character, yes—she's the motherly type, the healer, the comforter, the caregiver—but where Zuko is concerned, it's getting a little oppressive. He's already warned, "Stop trying to fix me!"

The water bubble actually illustrates this quite well. She just wants to protect him, enclose him in a bubble, and keep him safe from any further harm. But she doesn't realize that in doing this, she's actually suffocating him and keeping him from tackling his problems head on, which is the way he handles things best. Zuko is totally on the right track when he says, "So what could we have done better?" and "We could have worked together," but Katara shuts him down with "I already had you covered" and "You need someone to take care of you."

Zuko is quick to let Katara win their arguments especially when reminded of his past grievances toward her. Katara would not hold these things over him, of course, it would all be self-inflicted and related to Zuko's self-confidence issues in general. Therein lies his emotional baggage he brings to the relationship. He might say for her to stop fixing him because he thinks he is unfixable. He keeps waiting for her to get scared off by all the Fire Nation family drama, and he jumps to conclusions when she says things like, "I might be homesick." He _adores_ her and is understandably afraid of losing her, but he's losing a little bit of himself in the process.

Growing pains! That's all it is. I think Zutara has a great foundation for a rock solid relationship. Otherwise I wouldn't be writing this! Perhaps they will hit a turning point when Katara _can't_ heal Zuko completely this time...


	13. Bedside Manners

_Soft seal  
Little seal  
Swimming in the sea  
Happy seal  
Swim to me  
Time to go to sleep_

Katara blinked as the words of the Water Tribe lullaby washed over her. She could barely make out the blurred blue form sitting nearby.

"Dad?"

"Hey sis."

"Sokka." _Since when did his shoulders get so broad? And his voice, so deep?_

"They said you just passed out from exhaustion. Are you sure you didn't take a blow to the head?" He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"Where am I?"

"The hospital. On Ember Island. But everything's OK—"

"Zuko!" She tried to sit up, but the throbbing sensation behind her eyes made her think better of it. _Maybe I did hit my head?_

"He's fine, Katara."

"What happened?"

"Our search party found you two passed out in the middle of the jungle. We'd been searching for ages. It's a good thing Zuko set those fires."

"Zuko… the snake bite…"

"Iroh administered the anti-venom. He said you should never go into the jungle without it. He also said you must have gotten most of the poison out already. Otherwise, we would've been too late."

Katara gasped. "Where is he? I want to see him." _Why does my head hurt so much?_

"They had to take him back to the capital. For the paralysis."

"The wha—?"

"Like I said, Katara, he's fine. I don't know all the medical mumbo jumbo, so you'll have to get Dr. Yang to explain later. She's got some special treatment for him. So as soon as you're better, we'll head back, too."

"What's wrong with me?"

"I don't know. A serious case of the dolts? Katara, why didn't you guys go back to the zipline tower after it broke? You had to know that was the first place we'd look for you."

"Was there anyone else there when you got there?"

"No, why?"

"Sokka, the line didn't break. It was cut. We were afraid that…"

"Whoa. Now that's… something. Um…"

Katara lay back and closed her eyes. The series of events from the jungle flashed in her mind, intensifying the pulsing pain she already felt. She groaned.

"Hey, Katara, just rest here. I've gotta… go do something." Sokka patted her shoulder and then stood to leave.

"S-s-okka?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you sing it again? Just one more time."

He frowned. He was the meat-and-sarcasm guy. The plan guy. Not the care-and-comfort guy. Or the lullaby-guy. Sure, he had been singing it before, but…

"Sometimes, I just… miss her so much," Katara whispered.

Two pairs of blue eyes met, both knowing. Remembering.

"Me, too, sis." Sokka sighed.

He sang. She slept.

* * *

 _Leaves from the vine  
Falling so slow  
Like fragile, tiny shells  
Drifting in the foam  
Little soldier boy  
Come marching home  
Brave soldier boy  
Comes marching home_

"Mom?" Zuko had listened to her sing the lullaby through a few times before speaking. He wasn't sure if she was really there. _Maybe I'm dreaming again._

"Zuko, my love."

He opened his eyes, but instead of searching for her, he stared at a spot on the ceiling. He'd seen it before. He knew exactly where he was—the royal hospital—the very same room. Perhaps she wasn't there after all. He remembered lying there, _praying_ she'd come, dreaming that she actually did, and then pretending she was there when no one else was.

He closed his eyes again. He could almost feel the rough fabric bandage pressed against his face. _She never came then. Why would she be here now?_

"Zuko?" This time she touched him, and an undeniable sense of hope surged through him. He felt this way so rarely. Tears pricked at the corner of his eyes, but then as he remembered why _he_ was here, hope was suddenly lost.

"Katara!"

"Shhhhhh, she's fine, dear. Everything is going to be OK."

 _It is not OK. They tried to kill us._ He clinched his fists, but something wasn't right.

"I c-c-can't feel my…"

"It's from the snake bite. Some residual effects of the poison. But don't worry, Dr. Yang can fix you right up."

 _I thought I was beyond fixing. Katara says to just let it go._ "Mom?" He finally turned his head so he could see her. Up until that point, he was afraid she might vanish if he did.

"Yes, my love?"

"Do you think I should… forgive him? Is that what will… make it—make me better?"

She furrowed her brow in thought. "You know, I've been talking to your friend, Aang, a lot lately. He'd probably say that forgiveness is the pathway to healing."

"Yeah, he would. I used to think that sounded crazy. Now, I'm not so sure." _I'm at the point where I'm willing to consider anything, though._

"There are a lot of things Aang has shown me about the Air Nomad teachings that I have found enlightening. Perhaps even some of those things will be helpful to you. But… I don't think forgiving your father is one of them."

"You d-d-don't?"

"No, Zuko. I think… you need to forgive yourself."

"But… I don't know how." He tried to focus on the spot on the ceiling again, but it started to blur through his tears.

Ursa shifted in her seat beside the bed and leaned closer to him. "When you think about what makes you the most angry about your father, is it what he did to you… or what he's doing to you now?"

"It's more like what he didn't do… or what he could do in the future."

"I'm sorry that he wasn't a better father to you, but you have to know that none of that was your fault. And he can't hurt you anymore, he's locked away for good."

"I know that. I'm not afraid of him. I'm afraid of…" _Becoming him._

"He doesn't deserve your forgiveness. And he doesn't deserve a foothold in your life anymore. Zuko, just let it go. Let _him_ go."

 _Why does everyone keep saying that? What does that even mean? How do you let someone go when they visit you every night in your dreams?_

"Mom, what did you do?"

"For what?"

"To let him go… or whatever?"

"Oh, Zuko. It was easy to let go when he gave me the best part of him. I had you."

Zuko saw that she reached out to touch his arm just above where it had been bandaged, but he couldn't feel it. And her words—he couldn't get a good sense of them, either.

Two sets of golden eyes met, both uncertain. Searching.

 _He will always be a part of me. Of course, I can't let it go._

* * *

 **A/N:** Short chapter, long notes. First of all, _Soft Little Seal_ is the name of a lullaby that Emletish comes up with, shared between Z &K, and she says that it's reminiscent of _Soft Kitty_ from _The Big Bang Theory._ Man, it's been ages since I've seen that show. Pardon me while I binge watch highlights on You Tube... OK, I'm back! So, I made up some words for _Soft Little Seal_ based on the tune of _Soft Kitty._ The song, _Leaves From the Vine,_ is from one of my fav ATLA episodes, _The Tales of Ba Sing Se._

* * *

So, an explanation on the forgiveness thing… no, I don't think Zuko's dying words would be that he forgives his father. That was the poison talking. I do think he grapples with this idea of forgiveness as a possible solution/last resort. He's getting close to that place where Dr. Jung said he would feel very raw and things would seem very dark before it got better.

Katara is even taken aback when she says "just let it go," and he says, "do you want me to forgive him?" She's thinking she would _never_ expect that especially after what they went through together with Yon Ra and the Southern Raiders. He's thinking, how do you just let it go? It's not like you can just listen to the wind chimes and have the air magically cleared of all your worries and pain.

Telling a person in the midst of their trauma, grief, or even recovery to "just let it go," is most unhelpful. It can even be stifling because it doesn't validate any reasons why they might be still holding on… or acknowledge that they might not ever be able to let it go. Moving forward doesn't mean denying what happened. It means building upon it. Sure, you can't change the past, but you can't erase it either. It's a part of your experience, and every person deals with it in their own way. For some, this means forgiveness. For others, acceptance. Or validation. Redirection. Confession. Many different pathways to healing, with methods and combinations as unique as the person seeking them.

This is why I have Ursa say the same thing to Zuko, "Just let it go." Because even though she was abused by the same person, her experience was different, and her way of dealing with it will be different, too. Yes, I imagine having Zuko gave her a sense of hope in the midst of her situation (and no, I'm not suggesting her looking to her child to meet an emotional need in an unhealthy way, although this type of projection _can_ happen). Ursa still has some healing to do herself, and she won't be the best person to help Zuko in this area.

* * *

I also want to backtrack a little to an explanation about the play (chapter 10) and my thoughts on Katara as a _peasant._ First of all, even though Zuko calls her that early in the series, I don't think she really is one. Perhaps he thinks that initially because of the state in which he finds her village at the South Pole (small, depleted, only women and children) but Katara is the daughter of the Chief, a master waterbender, and a war hero. She has status, even in the Fire Nation, where Iroh strategically gave her the title of Ambassador to the Water Tribe (she doesn't do much with this role just yet, but she will) and we saw at the parade that people already love her.

Some people don't, like Fire Sage Satoru, who is set in his old ways and blinded by his prejudices. He still calls Katara a _peasant_ , very much like season-one Zuko did. Early in his reign, Zuko was worried about his nation accepting Katara as his girlfriend and future Fire Lady (while also enjoying keeping his personal life out of the public limelight). He's over that now—he has to be, the word is officially out. The exchange in the tea shop (chapter 11) shows the varied responses: mostly people just stare; others spread gossip; some have _views_ like the men who were fighting… Zuko doesn't really like all the attention, but he would definitely jump to Katara's defense in a heartbeat.

I imagine the buzz around Zutara in the Fire Nation would be like that of Prince William and Kate Middleton in the UK. Ohhhhh! They've landed in Canada! Let's watch them get off the plane. Look at Kate's amazing blue dress. Isn't the baby cute? Aw, Prince George said the word "poop." Where are they headed next? Oooooh, a meeting with the Canadian Prime Minister… ya know, that sort of thing.

There's a reason why Katara's respective character in the play, _Forbidden Love_ , is portrayed as a peasant through and through. For starters, it's an adaptation of their lives, and even Zuko's character is altered to that of nobility instead of royalty. Perhaps when we meet the playwright, he'll explain further why he wrote it this way.


	14. The Power of Healing

Dr. Yang stood outside the door to Zuko's hospital room trying to gain her composure. There was a series of interconnected rooms that had been designated for the royal family, and if only she'd known when she took this job…

She remembered the first time she treated Ursa's burns. The princess had dismissed it as "things just got a little overheated." After the second and third time, Dr. Yang started keeping her longer "for observation," even though a day's visit would have been sufficient.

Zuko was born prematurely during the winter, and Dr. Yang had attributed it to stress. He struggled to breathe in those fragile early days, and apparently this didn't bode well for firebenders. Ozai only visited right after the birth and one other time during Zuko's recovery. He told Dr. Yang not to bother trying to save him, but she saw the hope in Ursa's eyes and knew the boy would live. He was released from the hospital, strong and healthy, 61 days later.

Azula's birth was pretty routine and not particularly memorable to Dr. Yang other than certain complications Ursa experienced afterward. The princess had taken well to motherhood, though. She was lighter and happier and reveled in her newfound sense of purpose. Even when Azula proved to be a more difficult child, Ursa's calm and steady demeanor never wavered. Azula spent a few days under Dr. Yang's care at age five. She wondered if the scorch marks were still on the wall from the girl's relentless tantrums.

Treating Zuko at age 13 had nearly undone her. She'd always felt conflicted about how Ursa was able to get away, but the kids were still stuck here with that _monster._ It was only a matter of time, she figured, yet after two years she thought maybe Ozai had become too self-inflated as Fire Lord to even consider his children anymore. Boy, had she been wrong. When Iroh came to collect Zuko on the day he was discharged, she'd almost handed in her resignation. Almost.

Today was not a day to wallow in painful memories. Zuko was here, he was alive, and there was still hope. Granted, he'd just barely escaped death _again_ , and she dreaded the day when hope would die with him. But ever since the day he was born, he was a fighter. Dr. Yang didn't know how it was possible, really, for a young man with so many scars, both inside and out, to take on so much responsibility and _thrive_. This was beyond her clinical understanding of things, but she would keep doing what she did best. Treat him. Heal him. And then… wait and see.

* * *

"Good morning, Fire Lord Zuko. Did you rest well?" Dr. Yang asked.

"I did, thanks. But I bet you put the sun poppy in my tea again," he replied with a smirk.

"You know me too well. How is the arm?"

"Well, I still can't feel anything. Not sure what that means."

Dr. Yang removed the bandage and inspected the injury. The redness and swelling had gone down considerably, and only two small bite marks remained. He stared at the ceiling while she did this.

"Did you know there are 61 ceiling tiles up there?"

"Huh?" She followed his gaze upward.

"I've counted them. Loads of times. But I always thought it was weird that there are 61. Six rows of ten... and then this random one in the middle. I always start counting from that one. Like it's the leader or something. The non-conformist. Sorry, I know I must sound crazy."

"Well… you've spent a lot of time in this room. With not much else to look at."

"I guess."

They both spent a few minutes looking at the ceiling before she spoke again. "So, today I would like to begin a special kind of treatment."

"Okay."

"The toxins in snake venom disrupt neurological activity, the electrical synapses that allow us to _feel._ So, I'd like to use electrotherapy to cure the paralysis in your arm."

"Electro-what?" Therapy was _not_ his favorite word. Electricity also had _unnerving_ implications.

"We'll send electrical impulses through your arm to help repair and reconnect the nerve damage."

"Electricity… you mean, like lightening? Oh, hell no."

"Zuko, no. Not a charge that big, only very small controlled ones. I assure you it's perfectly safe."

"S-s-safe? Have you ever been around a firebender generating electricity? Besides, I don't think anyone can manage it like that. It would take a tremendous amount of control."

"I've found a master quite capable of and very adamant about control. Zuko, you're not even his first patient. Jeong Jeong has a proven success record—"

"Jeong Jeong!? That guy is crazy! No fucking way."

"Zuko, he's—it's perfect for him, actually. He's always wanted to find a way to use firebending for a more peaceful and constructive purpose. He even told me he envied the waterbenders and their healing—"

"I said no."

"Would it help you to know that we got the idea from Katara? She could feel the electrical charges in the body through her bending. She even helped Jeong Jeong with the method, the flow—"

"Is Katara here? I want to see her."

"She's on her way from Ember Island. Zuko, please. It doesn't hurt, we already know it works, and we shouldn't wait much longer…"

"OK, FINE. Just… when Katara gets here…"

"I'm sure she'll come straight away. Relax, Zuko. We just want to take care of you."

 _Yes, I apparently need someone to take care of me_. Zuko resorted to staring at the ceiling again.

* * *

The tingling sensation in his arm didn't bother him at all. It was Jeong Jeong's incessant babbling that did. Zuko could only take so much theory on the disciplines of defensive firebending before he thought his brain would go as numb as his arm. He tried to retreat to a daydream state, a happy memory to take his mind off of this questionable treatment and his obnoxious caregiver.

 _Mmmm, Katara in a cave. No, not that cave. Dammit._

 _Mmmm, bronze shoulders draped in flowing hair surrounded by steam. Then… screams surrounded by steam, her reddened cheeks and burning anger._

 _Umm, okay. Her cooling touch. Her weight pressing in at just the right spot. The glow of her healing hands… then, the glow of his hand, ready to strike._

Zuko jerked suddenly in response. _Can you have nightmares when you're wide awake? Or does he haunt my daydreams now, too?_

"I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?" Jeong Jeong stopped his ministrations, but kept a firm grip on Zuko's arm. The young Fire Lord thought maybe he could feel the pressure where the man was holding him. That meant progress, at least.

"I think that is good for now," Jeong Jeong said when Zuko didn't answer. "You get some rest."

* * *

When Zuko awoke sometime later, he saw Piandao hanging something on his wall.

"Those are… Lu Ten's swords?" he asked.

"Yes. Your Uncle had them mounted for you. It's a late birthday present he wanted to give you when you got back from Ember Island. You shouldn't be staying here long, but I thought you'd want something to look at besides the ceiling."

"What does the inscription say?" Zuko couldn't make out the wording from his bed.

"Come see for yourself. Your legs are not paralyzed, you know."

 _Oh, right._ Zuko felt stiff when he stood, but after a few steps, it felt good. Just below the daos, it said, "Love heals. Fight for those you love."

Zuko sighed and shifted his weight on his feet, suddenly feeling a little weak in the knees. "I'm afraid I'm losing that fight."

"What do you mean?"

"I keep failing… letting her down."

"I'm not sure that I follow." Piandao folded his arms across his chest and looked expectantly at Zuko.

"When we fell from the zipline, I didn't… and when I was supposed to be on watch, I fell asleep. Then, the snake…"

"Fire Lord Zuko, if a swordsman has no scars, do you know what that means?"

"He's a damn good swordsman?"

"No. It means he's never entered a proper fight. You haven't failed if you're still standing."

"I'm standing now. I might not be so lucky next time."

"Luck has nothing to do with love. Not the kind of love that lasts, anyway. So, let me guess, you two were falling, and some combination of your elements saved you. It might not have been the best, maybe you ended up a little beat up, but you made it. Then, I'd guess that you put yourself in between her and the snake, and then she healed you. Am I right?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"Because I've seen you two together. You make it work. And you've been through a lot worse before. You didn't fail her then. And you're not failing her now."

"I… I don't know. I just feel like—"

"Perhaps your problem is that you're seeking perfection. If that's the case, then of course you'll fail. You won't always do right by Katara. You'll mess up. And she will, too. But how does a swordsman get better? He keeps fighting. Even after he makes a mistake."

"But what if the mistake is too costly?"

"Fire Lord Zuko, you and Katara have proven to be stronger together than both the forces of evil and the forces of nature. I'm not sure there's much that can tear you apart."

"Except there's me."

" _She_ is as much a part of the relationship as you are. Don't bear the full responsibility of whatever problems come your way. Work through them together. I suspect you'll find that you're letting _yourself_ down more than her, and that she may even share the same fear where you're concerned."

"No way. She's never let me down."

"Careful. Remember, don't seek perfection. Seek partnership."

Zuko nodded. It was a lot to take in, but he greatly respected Piandao. The man also happened to model the strongest relationship he had ever seen, so he would take love advice from the swordmaster any day.

* * *

He groaned when Jeong Jeong came in for another electrotherapy session, but when he saw Katara at the firebender's heels, his heart leapt. Jeong Jeong was deep into another lecture about what he called the three pillars of firebending mastery: self-control, patience, and precision. Zuko and Katara exchanged smirks, barely maintaining self-control to not throw themselves at each other and hardly feeling patient for their long-awaited reunion.

Zuko exercised precision when he finally got to kiss her. And even after the many kisses they'd shared over the past year, sparks still flew. Zuko's arm tingled while Jeong Jeong administered treatment—and ignored the teenagers' interaction completely—and soon other parts of him tingled, too.

Dr. Yang had told Katara to observe, assist, and advise on the new electrotherapy technique. She observed that Zuko was a sight for sore eyes, assisted in keeping his other arm busy, and advised that Jeong Jeong had done a great job so that the old man would leave them alone.

"So, I brought you komodo chicken and moonpeaches," she said when Jeong Jeong had left.

"You take good care of me." He smiled. Maybe it wasn't so bad, this _needing_ someone.

"I told you I would."

Zuko wasn't sure what she meant exactly, but his look of confusion was met by her attempt at fighting back tears. _Oh dear Agni…_

"Zuko, I'm so sorry! I-I failed you. I don't know if I was just stressed… or too tired… or too scared, but I couldn't heal you fully, and now I—"

"Hey. It's OK. I'm fine. And from what I hear, you didn't fail. You saved my life. Again."

"But only after you saved mine first."

"Heh. That seems to be a thing… with us."

"But what happens if next time—"

"Don't worry about that. We're here now. We made it. We might be a little broken, but we're still alive." _Still standing. Still fighting._

"Zuko, I've had a lot of time to think just lying in a hospital bed…"

 _Heh. Tell me about it._

"And I think I've been wrong… to want to fix you."

 _Hmm. Tell me more._

"You're not broken. You're anything but. I just wanted to make things better for you. But you have made yourself better despite all those painful things I wish had never happened to you. I had to admit to myself that I... c-c-can't heal you, not in that way—"

"I wouldn't expect you to."

"But what can I do?"

"Just be you."

"But being me means… healing. I don't know any other way."

"Then just… be there for me. And I'll be there for you. We'll figure it out together."

He then remembered why she had brought the komodo chicken and moonpeaches. A promise she'd made when he had taken care of her. For when she would take care of him next.

"Katara, will you sing Soft Little Seal?"

Her tears flowed freely then. She had also been thinking about her mother a lot lately. She remembered how Zuko had helped her begin her own healing process when he took her to find Yon Ra. But he didn't offer to heal her. He was just there for her, like he said he would be. He just listened. He didn't judge her actions or second guess her decision. And lately, she hadn't offered him this in return. But she could. And she would.

"Will you sing it with me?" They were in this together, after all.

They sang the words in the form of a round followed by the sounds of sniffles and laughter.

 _Soft seal  
Little seal  
Swimming in the sea  
Happy seal  
Swim to me  
Time to go to sleep_

* * *

 **A/N:** If you're like Toph, and you're getting tired of all the lovey-dovey, touchy-feely, I promise there is more action in the next chapter. Like where is Iroh and what has he been doing? Also, Zuko gets an unexpected visitor at the hospital. And while the Fire Lord has been away, the High Sage has been up to no good... _  
_


	15. The Significance of 61

**A/N:** The real significance of 61 is that I knew I wanted a prime number, and that happens to be the total number of ATLA episodes. The rest is just fiction...

I have lots of head canon craziness, and the flood gates start to open in this chapter. I will offer more notes/explanation in the next chapter.

* * *

"…58, 59, 60, 61." Zuko finished counting the ceiling tiles, yet again.

"Sixty-one?" Jeong Jeong's voice startled him. "That sounds about right. Give me 61 fire squats and stat!"

"What?"

"Do you have beetle worms stuck in your ears? I said fire squats, now!"

"OK, OK, but why 61?" Zuko did a few stretches before assuming the proper stance.

"You want to do 71? Or how about 101?" Jeong Jeong's facial expressions looked about as wild as his hair.

"N-n-no. But what's with all the random odd numbers?"

"Not random! And not odd… they are prime numbers. There's a difference." His face settled. His hair didn't.

Zuko started the exercises. He knew the lecture would resume, and he might as well do something to help pass the time.

Jeong Jeong continued, "Prime numbers are numbers that cannot be divided by anything but one and itself. They are considered to be powerful numbers because they are supposedly indivisible. However, do not be fooled, because they can be undone by themselves. Even the strongest of men, after conquering all others, must one day face the enemy within."

Zuko wondered if all old people had some secret club where they sat around and came up with cryptic proverbs. Then he remembered that they actually did, the Order of the White Lotus. _Uncle!_

"Master Jeong Jeong, have you seen my uncle?" Zuko asked in between squats and labored breaths. He had completely lost count. It felt good to be out of bed and moving, though.

"There were some pressing matters back on Ember Island, I believe," Jeong Jeong replied. "What number are you on?"

"Uhhhh, 43?" Zuko answered sheepishly.

"Very well, you can stop. But only because that also happens to be a prime number. It's time to do a healing session."

Zuko thought about telling him about the number of ceiling tiles, but he feared he would get some lengthy lecture about the philosophy of building structure. However, as he thought about it more, the prime number thing started to bother him after a while.

"Master, how do you keep from becoming your own enemy?" he asked in full expectation of the forthcoming explanation in great length. He decided that this time, he didn't mind so much.

"You must stay centered," Jeong Jeong answered simply.

 _That's it?_ "Um, ok, but what does that mean?"

"It means that everything in your body is properly aligned and all your chi pathways are open and clear so that positive energy can flow through you."

 _Oh._ "So… how do you do that?"

"Well, for benders, it starts with their element. Tell me, Fire Lord Zuko, how is your firebending these days?"

"Fine, I guess?"

"Have you been training?"

"No."

"Meditating."

"Not really."

"Hmmmm."

Zuko felt a tingling sensation in his fingers and flexed them. "Oh! Did you see that!? I can move my fingers!"

Jeong Jeong appeared unmoved by this development and continued the electrotherapy treatment without skipping a beat.

"Will you… teach me?" The words were out of his mouth before Zuko even realized he'd said them.

"If you truly wish to become centered, then yes. I do not teach combat firebending."

"I d-d-do. I'm tired of fighting. I want to learn control."

"No!" Jeong Jeong said forcefully. "It is NOT about control. It is about release. It is about letting go."

There's that notion again. _Let it go_. Now firebending lessons were starting to sound like therapy sessions. Zuko clinched his fists, and this time, he could feel both of them.

* * *

Sometime later Katara came in with an unexpected visitor.

"Hello, S-s-sir Hakoda, sir. What are you doing here?" Zuko tried to push himself into a more upright position in the bed. Even though he now had feeling in his arm, he didn't quite have full use of it, yet.

"Visiting you, of course." The chief laughed. Katara smiled. Zuko decided that such sights and sounds could cheer him up any day. His state of bliss was short-lived, however.

"I thought you would have gone back to the South Pole by now." Zuko returned Katara's smile before meeting Hakoda's ice-blue eyes.

"I was planning to. I traveled here with Bato for the Solstice Festival, and there was… an issue… with his girlfriend, Ming." Hakoda frowned as he spoke.

 _Azula's guard. Oh no, what has my sister done?_ "What is it? Is everyone OK?" Zuko cringed at Katara's downcast expression. Her eyes were more like the sea, an ebb and flow of emotion, unlike the piercing quality of Hakoda's that could freeze you and melt you all at the same time.

"She's fine now," the tribesman continued. "Satoru just gave her a big scare. And Bato, well, he responded as you might expect. He's… better. Now that Katara helped with the healing."

"What in Agni's name happened?"

"Zuko—" Katara spoke softly with a slight tremble in her voice. "Satoru went on a tirade after the festival. It sounds like he wanted to rid the palace grounds of anyone with… _impurities_. He gave Ty Lee's family a fright. I don't think her grandfather will ever trust us again. He threatened Dr. Jung. He told Arik's family to leave and never come back. And he was especially cross with Ming, saying that fraternizing with _barbarians_ was the worst offense of all."

"What!? Where is he now? I'll kill him!" Zuko felt a tremor shoot through his injured arm. He then realized this was the result of him trying to firebend.

"He's contained," Hakoda said calmly. "Bato got him pretty good. But Bato is in a heap of trouble for attacking a Fire Sage. I should get him home as soon as possible. To cool off a bit before there's a trial."

" _A trial?_ No need, I'll figure something out. I'll take it to the council." Zuko imagined himself waving his hand to illustrate his point if only his hand would cooperate. Katara happened to be holding his other hand. He gave her an assuring squeeze.

"You forget that Satoru sits on your council. Zuko, listen, don't worry about Bato. If you're going to do any legal workarounds, you need to figure out how to get rid of him. He is a threat to you, a danger to the Fire Nation, and a destroyer of peace among the world." Hakoda's words hung in the air with a sense of foreboding.

"I _can't._ I've tried, but Fire Sages are like chosen by Agni or some shit like that. He says all these horrible things about Katara, and I've searched high and low for something I can do about it."

"If you ever want to marry Katara, then he has to go. The things he said to Ming..."

Zuko then saw he was speaking to the leader of the pack, the protector of his family. Hakoda was concerned about what happened to Ming, but he was also making it clear to Zuko that he simply wouldn't stand for the same thing to happen to his daughter. "Spirits, I know. I'm doing everything I can. If only there was a precedent…"

"Zuko, have you ever heard of the 61-Day Siege of the South?" Hakoda folded his arms across his chest and leaned back in his chair.

"I…I've heard the Fire Nation version. But I'm sure the Water Tribe version is different."

"The Water Tribes tell it like a legend, but I've often wondered if there was some truth to it. Of course, the brutal facts are that after Sozin wiped out the Air Nomads, he turned on the Water Tribe, presumably for the same reason, to kill off the next Avatar. The battle lasted for 61 days, but the way it ended was—"

"Is this the legend of Smoke on the Water?" Katara interrupted.

"Hmm, yes. Smoke on the Water, Fire in the Sky," Hakoda confirmed.

Zuko looked back and forth between the two southerners, confused. _Fire in the Sky? Sozin's Comet?_

Katara shrugged. "Gran Gran would always cover our ears. We never got to hear the full story. I figured it was pretty bloody... or something."

Hakoda cleared his throat. "The story says that a Water Tribe woman ended the siege by… warming Sozin's bed, promising him that she would bear the next Avatar. He took her back to the Fire Nation along with all his troops. It was rumored that she did bear him a son later that year, but when the Fire Sages revealed that he was not the Avatar, Sozin went into a blind rage and killed the woman by fire. Now, whenever we see 'smoke on the water,' the morning mist rising above a stream or a low-setting fog on a wintry day, we think of the sacrifice she made to save her tribe."

Katara shuddered. Zuko simply sat there gaping.

"What do they say happened in the Fire Nation?" Hakoda asked.

 _Not that._ "Um, that we laid siege in the South until Sozin discovered the Avatar's whereabouts were elsewhere, so he ordered the troops to retreat. It is known that he spent the remainder of his life searching for the Avatar, though."

"Zuko, you don't think that maybe… your grandfather…" Katara looked at him with both eyebrows raised.

"No way. It would be unheard of."

"Unheard of? A Fire Lord fancying a Water Tribe woman?" Katara smirked.

Hakoda rolled his eyes. "No one would hear of it because it would be kept a secret here in the Fire Nation. Is there any way you could find out if it's true, Zuko?"

"I… I don't know. But even if I did, this doesn't help our situation. The Fire Sages would have frowned on it then just as they frown on it now. That's not the kind of precedent I meant, I—"

"Ugh, Zuko, can't you just make a royal decree or something?" Katara raised her hands in resignation.

"I can… with the approval of the council."

"Override the council. You're the Fire Lord. You make the rules."

"NO! My father ruled like that! And I won't do it. I created the council to keep things—to keep _me_ in check. The responsibility of rule should not fall to one person especially if that person could—" _Go fucking mad._

"OK, OK, we're going about this the wrong way," Hakoda interjected. "The High Sage sits on your council, right?"

Zuko nodded.

"But the other Fire Sages do not," Hakoda continued.

"Correct."

"Is there a way to promote a new High Sage? Satoru can still be Fire Sage if you truly can't get rid of him, but find a way to demote him somehow. And put someone new on your council."

"I… hadn't thought of that. Maybe the rest of the council could propose it… or something. I'll have to ask Uncle when he gets back from Ember Island."

Hakoda and Katara shared concerned glances at this.

"What? Is he OK?" Zuko felt his pulse quicken.

"I'm sure he's fine, Zuko," Katara said. "But he's launching an investigation into our… um… _incident_.. with the zipline."

Zuko thought for sure Hakoda was glaring at him then, and he felt immediately guilty for putting the man's daughter in danger. He seemed to be striking out on the boyfriend front today. He opened his mouth to apologize, to _grovel_ , but Katara spoke instead.

"So, Zuko, do you think you might be part Water Tribe?"

* * *

Dr. Yang had explained that the effects of the snake venom plus the electrotherapy treatment would be taxing on his body. They were keeping him in the hospital "for observation," since that was the doctor's favorite phrase, but also for enforced bedrest. Everyone knew that the Fire Lord would resume his duties in full vigor if and when he was released. After the confusing conversation with Hakoda and Katara, Zuko slept for what felt like hours.

Piandao brought him lunch… along with some parchment, paints, and a paintbrush.

"What's this for?" Zuko asked as he dove into his food. All that healing worked up an appetite, apparently.

"Art therapy," Piandao replied.

Zuko groaned. He never liked art class in school. He'd rather be sparring or studying history or better yet, warfare. _Like every indoctrinated Fire Nation schoolboy_ , he realized. He didn't know if the history stories he'd learned were even true. _Did Sozin really…?_

"It will help you regain your fine motor strength," Piandao explained. "And express yourself."

"I don't _need_ to express myself. I need to get the hell out of this hospital," Zuko snapped.

"Well, then this will help pass the time and make it go by more quickly."

Zuko knew how insistent the swordmaster could be. He would not win this argument. But he didn't really know how or what to paint. Piandao was such a gifted artist, it just came naturally to him. He then remembered something.

"Oh, hey, thanks for the paintings you did for my birthday, by the way," Zuko said softly, feeling a little guilty about his earlier response.

"You're welcome. I enjoyed painting them. Maybe _you_ should find a hobby. All work and no play makes for a very one dimensional Fire Lord."

Zuko wondered if his father had any hobbies besides ruthless killing. He maintained a nice liquor collection. He didn't remember much about his grandfather except that he always stayed walled up behind that pillar of flames. And his great-grandfather liked Water Tribe women, who knew? Was that even true? Suddenly a thought struck him.

"Piandao, did you do any of the tapestries of the Fire Lords that hang in the great hallway?"

"I did not. I would be honored to do yours if that's what you're asking."

"Oh. I wasn't. Um… sure, I guess. Someday… rrrrrright." Zuko had honestly never given it much thought. Or maybe he did once upon a time… before he knew his portrait would be marred by a scar.

It was almost as if Piandao read his mind, "We can leave it off, if you'd like. It doesn't have to be—it _won't_ be your legacy."

"No, well, I was thinking about past Fire Lords and history and stuff. Like if I had a hobby, would it be on there? The daos perhaps… or whatever. And what does my dad's have on there. I don't really remember."

"I don't, either. Perhaps you should go take a look if you're curious."

"Really? But Dr. Yang said—"

"Well, you should come back sooner rather than later, of course. But a little walk around the palace won't hurt."

* * *

Zuko was surprised that his legs felt sore from the fire squats. Had he really gotten that much out of shape? Perhaps his new hobby should be exercising. He was also surprised by how long it took him to find the hallway with the tapestries. Since he had moved the advisory council meetings, he hardly ever went to this part of the palace anymore. But perhaps the most surprising thing of all was the person he found there.

"Mom? What are you doing here?"

Ursa jumped. "Oh! Zuko, you startled me!"

"Sorry. But seriously. Are you OK?" He noticed she looked a bit flushed. She was standing in front of his father's portrait. _Spirits, she doesn't miss him, does she?_

"I… I don't know."

He was then able to better discern the redness in her face— _fear._

"Mom, you shouldn't be here. Not if it brings up bad memories." He reached for her hand and started to pull her away, but she resisted.

"I just need… closure," she whispered.

"And you're going to get that from staring at his picture?" Zuko kept a firm grip on her hand. His fingertips still tingled, but he had nearly full use of his arm now.

"No, I'm trying to decide…"

 _No. You can't…_ Zuko dreaded what she might say next.

"…to decide if I should go see him… or not."

"Um, NOT. That's the worse idea ever! Don't Mom, just don't!"

"But Zuko—"

"What do you think that could possibly accomplish? Whatever… bad feelings you have now… he'll just make you feel worse. It won't make you feel better, trust me."

"Maybe I just need to see for myself. That he's miserable and got what he deserved. Maybe I want to tell him that I'm happy now without him and that you're happy—"

"NO! Don't EVEN talk to him about me. If you want to go wallowing back to your pathetic excuse for a husband, then FINE, but leave me out of it!" Zuko turned on his heel and started to storm off, completely forgetting the reason he came in the first place.

"Zuko, wait!" She ran to catch up with him. "Maybe you're right. Maybe it's crazy, I don't know. He doesn't even know I'm here. It's stupid, really. He and I, we had a deal. I told him I wouldn't come back unless… and now I'm here, and I just wanted him to know that I kept my word even though he didn't!"

Zuko stopped but knew he would regret it. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "This… promise. It has to do with me, doesn't it?"

"Y-y-yes… but you're right, I should just leave you out of this. Agni, _if only_ you didn't have to get caught up in the middle of this in this first place…" Ursa started pacing frantically.

Zuko grabbed her shoulders. "M-mom. I don't know what you need to do that is right for you, s-s-so I won't stop you if you need to go. But for me, going to see him just caused more pain. I—" _Dammit, stupid tears._ "I can't bear the thought of him hurting you again, too."

Ursa then crumpled into a mess of tears and meaningless gestures. Zuko pulled her into a hug, and as he held her shuddering frame, he managed two conflicting thoughts at the same time: _I can do this, I can be there for her_ ; and _Agni, I have no clue what to do._

A voice echoed through the hallways, and they tore apart as Aang approached them.

"There you are!" he panted. "Zuko, we have to go. Quick! Something has happened to your uncle on Ember Island. Come on, we can take Appa!"

Ursa's eyes widened, then she nodded. Zuko squeezed her hand before taking off running down the palace corridor with Aang. When he glanced back at her, she had resumed her position in front of Ozai's portrait, still staring numbly at it. In that moment, he _knew_ that she would go to him anyway.

Katara, Suki, Sokka, and Toph met them at the stable yard where they frantically prepared for their journey. Zuko kept trying to find out what happened, but the best answer he got was "there has been an accident." When he asked, "how bad" or "will he make it" he felt like his friends were avoiding eye contact.

Just as they were about to take off, Katara shrieked, "Wait! I forgot something."

The tingling sensation in Zuko's arm had intensified throughout the whole ordeal. Perhaps it was from the stress or maybe the fatigue that Dr. Yang had warned him about. When Katara climbed back up on Appa, they settled down in the saddle together, and he leaned into her. When he reached for her hand, he found that her fist was clinched around a small bottle of clear shimmery liquid.

 _The spirit water._


	16. Trouble Brewing

Zuko kept thinking about that damned number 61. Mainly because there were no ceiling tiles to count at the Ember Island hospital. And he was painfully aware of each second that ticked by without any news on his uncle's condition.

Sixty-one seconds ago, Suki gave him _that look_ , the sympathetic one where she thought he might break into sixty-one-thousand pieces any minute now. And he just might if he didn't get an update soon.

Sixty-one minutes ago, Katara had gone into the critical care unit with spirit water in hand. She promised she would do everything she could. She even said that she'd probably seen worse, having cured two lightening wounds before. The nature of Iroh's burns, however, was inconclusive. The account of how he got them was also vague. The only thing they knew for sure is that he'd been at The Eastern Dragon tea shop when it happened.

Sixty-one hours ago, Zuko had apparently been in this very hospital although he didn't remember it. The doctors and nurses were all giving him that same sympathetic look and kept asking about his arm. One nurse retold the story of the snake bite with a great deal of romanticism. Another nurse warned Zuko that Katara had been a much better patient while unconscious and that he was _in for it_ if he ever had to take care of her while sick. He knew this already just like he knew they were trying to lighten the mood, but none of it was helping.

The last sixty-one days had passed as a complete blur, he reflected. His mother had returned, and the reunion had been bittersweet. Their years apart had unexpectedly driven them apart, and the only thing that seemed to bind them now was their mutual pain and suffering at the hands of a man they were both trying to forget. Perhaps they could never forget as long as they had each other.

There was something about sixty-one days that his mother always used to tell him. What was it? It had struck a chord with him when Hakoda had mentioned the 61-Day Siege. He thought maybe his mother even had a song or a nursery rhyme. Zuko leaned back in his chair and looked at the ceiling, trying to remember.

 _Sixty-one days to rock the babe_  
 _Sixty-one days to say his name_  
 _Sixty-one days to say a prayer_  
 _Agni, please, his life to spare._

 _Sixty-one days from life's first breath_  
 _Sixty-one days to pass the test_  
 _Sixty-one days to speak our praise_  
 _Agni, to thee, we give our thanks._

It was more than a song or nursery rhyme. It was the sacred supplication of a mother for her dying child. Zuko remembered now. He wasn't expected to live past day one, much less day sixty-one.

"Fire Lord Zuko?" a doctor's voice startled him from his solemn thoughts. "You can go see your uncle now."

Katara sat by Iroh's bedside. She looked exhausted, but she smiled warmly when Zuko entered. It was genuine and hopeful, and right then, he knew everything would be OK. Iroh's chest had been bandaged, and pink flesh puckered around his neck and chin. He appeared to be sleeping peacefully. Zuko took in the sight with a shuddered breath and then sat next to Katara.

"I had to use the spirit water on the _inside_ ," she explained. "I didn't have much energy to fully heal the external burns after that, but I'll do another session when I'm feeling up to it. Probably in the morning."

Zuko wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly as if he never wanted to let go. "I am so—" _Indebted to you. So much that I could never…_ "—grateful for you. Words can't even express—"

"Zuko, there's something you should know," she cut him off. "The burns… were from tea. Like boiling hot tea… and a lot of it."

Zuko's initial reaction was that of all the ways for his uncle to die, that would be the worst. Death by tea? No, not for General Iroh, Dragon of the West. Then, he realized the implication. "Katara, you don't think…"

"Something happened at the tea shop. It's someone from the tea shop. Think about it. We were talking about doing the zipline with Jin—"

"No. Jin wouldn't—"

"Not Jin, but what about her angry boyfriend? Or that other guy who was so mad? We've got to go check it out."

Zuko's fleeting thought was that for all the times his uncle pestered him about not having an armed guard with him constantly, that perhaps his uncle needed one, too.

"I'll go tell Aang and everyone to head back to the beach house to get some rest. You should go with them. And I'll alert the hospital guards to the potential threat. I'm staying here tonight."

"I'll stay with you." Katara saw Zuko open his mouth to protest so she quickly added, "For healing purposes."

Back in the hospital waiting room, Zuko found Aang talking to the tea shop owner, and a surge of anger burned inside him. Before he realized what he was doing, he had grabbed the collar of the man's tunic and pushed him against the wall. He knew his pacifist monk friend would disapprove, but he didn't care.

"Tell me what happened to my uncle," Zuko growled through gritted teeth.

"I d-d-don't know! That's why I'm here. To offer my c-c-condolences." The owner squirmed under his grip.

"Condolences? You must think he's already dead, then?" Zuko snarled.

"Well, I don't know how anyone could survive burns like that," the man managed even though Zuko's tightened grasp made it more difficult for him to speak.

"Zuko, please," Aang interjected. "This won't solve anything. I don't think he knows what happened."

"Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrah!" Zuko released the man and turned away. It was a struggle to contain the fire that burned within him, yet he knew Aang was right.

"Such a temper, young Fire Lord," the tea owner said coolly as he flattened out his tunic. All fear had left his voice, and the sudden shift in his tone was... _eerie_. "Tell me, how did it make you feel when your uncle forced you into this position? To be Fire Lord at such a young age and having to clean up all the destruction that Ozai left behind? I know you love your uncle dearly, but that doesn't seem like a very _loving_ thing to do to his nephew."

In truth, Zuko had wished more than anything for his uncle to take the throne, but he didn't like hearing this man talk about it, not this way, and not in _that_ tone. He did not turn around, fearing what he might do if he did, but still delivered his words forcefully. "You will NOT speak such things about my uncle. Something happened at _your_ tea shop, and I intend to find out about it!"

"You are welcome at The Eastern Dragon any time, Fire Lord." The owner bowed. "I suspect I will see you tomorrow then."

Zuko didn't answer, and Aang took the cue to escort the man away, trying his best to redirect with bubbly chatter as they walked out the hospital door.

Suki gave Zuko _that look_ again. Sokka stared wide-eyed, opening his mouth a few times, saying random syllables, "Ba…he…da…hum…"

"Just spit it out, Sokka!" Suki elbowed him in the ribs.

"Zuko, that guy knows something about what happened to Iroh," Sokka said finally. "In fact, I bet he did it himself."

Zuko wasn't so sure. Hadn't he been friends with his uncle? Didn't they open up the tea shop in the Caldera together after Iroh came back from the siege in Ba Sing Se?

But if it was true and he had the man in his clutches again, he knew he wouldn't let him go so easily next time. Perhaps not at all.

* * *

The next morning, after Katara's healing session, Iroh was deemed as stable. Aang and the gang came back to the hospital to report that they had found evidence of a break-in at the beach house. Nothing appeared to be missing, so they assumed that whoever was behind the attacks must have been involved in this, too. They all agreed that it wasn't safe on Ember Island and perhaps not even in the capital for all they knew. Aang pitched that they take Iroh on Appa to Two Rivers for his recovery. They would make it _seem_ like they were going back to the capital, _announce_ that they were headed there and such, but reroute and fly to the colonial city in secret.

Zuko wholeheartedly supported this idea but informed them that he planned to stay behind and find out who was behind all of this. Of course, his friends protested.

"Zuko, they're bringing in reinforcements from the capital and will do a full investigation. It was unwise for Iroh to go at it alone. We don't even know how many are involved," Sokka retorted.

"MY uncle is the wisest person I know. And he was on to something at that tea shop. I'm going to find out!" Zuko snapped.

"I'll stay with you," Katara said.

"N-n-no, you can't." Zuko turned to face her. "You have to go with Uncle. To heal him."

There was an awkward silence as everyone in the group eyed each other, unsure of what to say or do next. Finally, Suki chimed in, "I have contacts at the North Pole. I'll request a healer to meet us in Two Rivers. If we send a falcon-hawk, the message should get there by nightfall. Then if they travel by eel hound, it would only be a two-day trip. Meanwhile, there are doctors in Two Rivers who can tend to him."

Zuko looked questioningly at Katara. Would it be too risky to wait that long for another healing session? She answered with surprising confidence. "I'll do another healing session before you guys leave. He actually shouldn't need any more after that. But it's good to have a healer available, just in case."

* * *

Once the group had left, Zuko pulled Katara into another one of those desperate hugs where he never wanted to let her go. "Agni, thank you, Katara. For everything. For always."

"That sounds like the words to a sappy love song. Now come on. What next?" She tickled him slightly so that he would release her.

"Umm, we go to the tea shop," he said.

"Just walk right in? You're not worried or anything?"

"I don't think anything will happen in broad daylight among a crowd. But maybe we can get a good read on people. See if anyone is acting… you know… suspicious."

"Okay, sounds risky, though."

"Hey." Zuko shrugged. "It's how we roll."

Katara rolled her eyes and tickled him again.

Everyone seemed to be acting fairly normal in the tea shop. The owner gave them a sickeningly sweet greeting at the door. Customers pointed and stared. Jin's hands were shaking when she handed them their tea cups. _Wait… what?_

"Jin? Are you ok?" Zuko asked.

Jin looked around nervously and shook her head slightly. When they heard the owner's voice barking orders from the back of the shop, she flinched. "I'll be back," she whispered.

She appeared a few minutes later with a biscuit and placed it on a napkin in front of them.

"But we didn't order—" Zuko started.

"Thanks for the biscuit, Jin. Those are my favorite," Katara interrupted.

Zuko was confused. He had known Katara for how long? _I never knew that she liked… oh. There's writing on the napkin._

It was a meeting time and place. And a warning. _Don't be followed._

The address took them to a part of Ember Island that Katara had never seen before. She had only been in the touristy areas and along the coast with all the beach resorts. This appeared to be where all the workers lived, and it paralleled the state of Ba Sing Se's lower ring. Jin had invited them to her apartment. Katara couldn't help but wonder… if Jin had been working at the Jasmine Dragon, then coming here—to this—had to be disheartening.

But Jin was Jin, all smiles and animated chitchat, as she made them tea and gave them a quick tour of the place.

"Is Than here?" Katara asked when she noticed his things strewn about.

Jin looked worried. "I haven't seen him in a few days. Not since... I don't think he's involved, but I'm afraid that maybe he knew too much."

Zuko lightly touched her arm. "Jin, what's going on?"

"Well, Takeo… he's the tea shop owner… is behind everything. But he doesn't have a very strong following, I don't think. It's all for a personal vengeance, and he can't really get people to see his side. Than was interested at first. Takeo said for him to join his group, and they'd make some Fire Nation nobles pay for the inequities. But Than quit when it became solely an assassination plot."

Zuko and Katara shared a sharp intake of breath. Then Zuko spoke, barely above a whisper, "Whose assassination? Mine or my uncle's?"

"I don't really know what the original plan was supposed to be. Than said that at the first meeting, Takeo kept going on and on about how your uncle came home from the war and blabbered on about the meaning of life and just wanted to start his own tea shop and such. They were business partners at The Western Dragon in the Caldera. Takeo kept trying to convince him to overthrow Ozai and take his rightful place on the throne. But General Iroh would hear nothing of it. Takeo was about to stage a coup himself, but then…"

Zuko knew what had happened, so he finished for her. "The Agni Kai. And then my uncle disappeared, so there was no one to take the throne, then."

"But why kill Zuko?" Katara interjected. "Surely Takeo can see that he's a much better leader than his father, and things are much better now that the war is over."

"I'm telling you. It's all about revenge." Jin's expression turned very grim. "Takeo thought Iroh shirked his duties to not only his family, but to his nation and the world. He blames him singlehandedly for everything that happened under Ozai's rule. Than said that killing Zuko would not only force Iroh to take the throne like he should have in the first place, but would teach him a lesson in loss in the process."

"What does Takeo know of loss?" Zuko roared. "Doesn't he know that Iroh has already lost a son?"

Katara put a hand on Zuko's arm. "I bet he also lost someone, Zuko. In the war. Doesn't this sound… personal?"

"It _is_ personal," Jin confirmed. "But I don't know details. I do know that…" Fear overtook her as she spoke.

Katara wrapped her arms around the Earth Kingdom girl and looked helplessly at Zuko. "What is it, Jin?" she asked.

"It's just that… Than hasn't come home in a few days, and I-I'm scared." Jin let out a sob.

Zuko sat up straighter as if to add weight to what he was about to say. "Reinforcements from the capital are on their way. I will have my own personal guard protect you. You can go wherever you want… where you'll feel safe. Back to the capital, if you want… we have an Earth Kindgom embassy at the palace there. Or back to Ba Sing Se, if you wish."

"That's…very kind. And so comforting." Jin wiped her eyes with the back of her tea-stained sleeve. "But Than…"

"We'll keep an eye out for him," Zuko replied. "Katara and I plan to go back—"

"He tried to kill your uncle," Jin blurted. "I saw it. We have these really large urns full of tea at work… the more popular blends. General Iroh was talking so calmly, I couldn't hear what he was saying, but Takeo just looked more angry by the minute. Then, he just… tipped the urn over on him." She gasped. "We keep it extra hot in there because we're told to add a few leaves and let it seep and then cool for just a bit before serving, to optimize flavor. I mean, it had to be _scalding_ …"

"Oh, it was." Katara shuddered as she remembered the severity of Iroh's injuries.

Zuko felt the same tremor surge through his arm just like before, but this time, his fist glowed in response. His bending was back. Along with an undeniable urge to use it. He shot to his feet.

Katara had sensed his anger and stood up with him. Blue eyes met gold. "Zuko, I know you're mad, but we have to be smart about this. Remember, these are the people who tried to kill us."

"They're having a meeting tonight," Jin whispered. "I overheard Takeo telling one of the other servers. After the shop closes."

"Good," Katara said. "We can get reinforcements and—" She felt Zuko tense beside her. "No, Zuko. We are NOT doing this alone. That's the mistake your uncle made."

"Fine," Zuko said. "But we take them down by force if necessary. Because that's the other mistake my uncle made, trying to reason with these assholes." He then turned to Jin. "Stay here and lay low. I will send someone for you when it's over."

* * *

It had been a while since Zuko and Katara had donned their ninja gear and entered full stealth mode together. Normally they exchanged playful gestures, tickles through bunched black fabric and stolen kisses underneath masks, as if testing the other's ability at ultimate sneakiness. Not tonight. No secret mission had been this serious or threatening since their pursuit of Yon Ra.

They watched seven men enter the tea shop after its closing. When no one else arrived after some time, Zuko crept to the window to confirm the count. A dozen men. And he had a dozen in his guard, so this should be an easy takedown. And he _knew_ the responsible thing to do would be to leave it in their capable hands. He and Katara didn't need to fight. Katara confirmed this for him. It wasn't worth the risk, she had said.

It was so very hard to watch the raid from across the street and not participate, though. It went against the very core of his character. _No one should have to risk their lives for me. This is my mess and my responsibility._ And then a very common thought of Zuko's followed. _I'm not worth this._

Katara leaned in and whispered, "I know this is hard for you. To just sit back and do nothing, but… it's what your uncle would want. Do it… for him. This will all be over soon, and then we can go see him. OK?"

Zuko closed his eyes and nodded. She was right. It made sense. But when he looked again, he saw a dark figure running away from the tea shop. _Takeo._ Before he realized what he was doing and before Katara could stop him, he took off running after him.

When Katara caught up to them in a dark alley a few streets away, Zuko had Takeo pushed up against a wall with one hand around his neck and the other, a flaming fireball of a fist, raised to strike.

"Zuko—" She had almost yelled _STOP_. But then she remembered something. _He needs to deal with this in his own way. And I should support him no matter what. Just like he did when I faced Yon Ra._

At the very least, she figured she could help him. So, she froze the struggling Takeo to the wall. He would be an easier target that way. But when Zuko saw the reflection of his fist in the man's eyes combined with the ice barrier that now separated them, he remembered something, too. That night with Katara, when his nightmare almost became his reality. He was about to take this too far.

He dropped his hands and backed away. This was not justice. This was revenge. And he didn't want to have anything to do with it, he realized. Katara was about to close the gap between them when Takeo snarled, "Coward! Just do it! You know you want to. The blood of Ozai runs in your veins!"

"I won't… I'm not—" Zuko panted.

"Oh, is it your precious honor that stops you? It is only a matter of time before you become a ruthless killer just like the rest of them. Why wait? You've caught me, no one would blame you, at least not _this_ time… get away with it while you still can!"

"It's not—" Zuko felt his fists—and blood—burning again.

"That's right. I knew you had it in you. There is no escaping who you are. Just accept it—"

"I AM NOT MY FATHER!" Zuko blasted a wave of fire into the air out of frustration, but it was not directed at anyone. When the air cleared, he saw that Takeo's head hung limp from his ice enclosure. At first he thought he had killed the man on accident, but he looked at Katara just in time to see her lower her hands from a most unusual position. He had seen her do it before. "Katara, did you just—"

"He's not dead. Just unconscious," she managed before collapsing in his arms.

Katara faded in and out as they watched Zuko's men round up the traitors from the tea shop to escort them to prison. Takeo was still shivering after being released from Katara's ice trap, and he was muttering things like "he was my only son," and "blasted war," and "bastard Fire Lords."

A moment of clarity struck her in the midst of her haze. "Zuko! What about Than? Did you see him?"

Takeo took the liberty to answer this question for them. "You'll never see him again. He was supposed to make sure the fall from the zipline did the trick, and if not, he'd finish the job. Well, our 'man on the ground' went underground instead, so we made sure that he would never resurface."

Katara closed her eyes and buried her head under Zuko's chin. The steadiness of his heartbeat surprised her especially after the night's events. He was done fighting and admittedly— _thankfully_ —so was she. He whispered into her hair, "We'll go get Jin. And then... we'll go home."

* * *

 **A/N:** Phew, this chapter is an example of me not knowing exactly where I'd end up when I started. I'm not really into character death all that much, so I would _never_ kill off Iroh. I hope no one got too attached to Than, Agni rest his soul. I feel like _Rising Tide_ is becoming more episodic as the chapters fall into place. I hope the storyline is easy enough to follow.

I originally planned to do more with Hakoda starting in the last chapter, but then the new comic book came out and sort of shook my characterization of him. Obviously I don't follow canon, so I'm not sure why it matters, but it just got me _thinking._

Every now and then, I have to take a break from the angst in this fic and write something lighter. So, I have a new piece posted, _A Ride With A Side of Advice_ , more or less inspired by convos I've enjoyed writing between Zuko and the elders: Iroh, Piandao, Jeong Jeong, etc. Oh, and maybe inspired by a little real life experience, too.

Lastly, another companion fic to check out is _Deal Breakers_ which alludes to the whole Sozin takes a Water Tribe woman and begets Azulon thing. Basically, I don't like gaps in the canon family trees or rather, I wonder how I can use them for conspiracy and intrigue. According to Wiki, Sozin was 100 years old when he started the war, and this was also the year Azulon was born. I'm thinking the guy was just a little bit... crazy... and desperate... and well, there's more to come!


	17. The Power of Touch

Getting Jin settled in the Earth Kingdom Embassy proved more difficult than Zuko imagined. His uncle wore many hats, apparently. Iroh had always been good at foreign relations and hospitality. But since everyone had left after the Solstice Festival, Zuko had trouble even locating a key to the building. Then, when he was finally able to show Jin to a room, he had no idea what to tell her to do for meals, laundry, entertainment…

"Uhhh, the gardens are nice." He ran a hand through his hair and shrugged. "I can show you where the royal spa is if you'd like."

"I'm fine, Zuko. Really." Jin stretched her arms above her head as she surveyed the room. "Wow, who knew when I met you that you were… _this_."

"If you're referring to the life of luxury, that's not really who I am." He let out an exaggerated sigh. "Although I guess I wasn't really the guy you met, either."

"It's OK if you're still trying to figure out who you are. I know I am." Her expression turned somber.

"I'm so sorry about Than." _And that knowing me seems to always come with a price._ "I wish we could have—"

"Hey, there's nothing you could have done, so don't blame yourself, OK?" She forced a small smile.

Zuko wondered how a girl who barely knew him could possibly know him so well.

* * *

After everything that had happened with the zipline, the snake bite, his uncle, and Takeo, Zuko's nightmares returned in full force. So, on their second day back at the palace, he decided to check in with Dr. Jung.

The doctor did not seem particularly pleased to see him. "You missed our last session."

"Sorry, I went to Ember Island for a few days. And then I was in the hospital… and then I went back to Ember Island. You didn't know?" Zuko settled into his usual chair, realizing that therapy was starting to feel like routine.

Dr. Jung scowled. "I was more than aware of your absence. I had to deal with a situation with Azula's guard, Ming. Then I had to lay low myself for a while."

 _Oh, right._ "Yeah, I heard about that. Um… sorry."

As things normally went with the doctor, he then began to soften. "I may have heard a little about what happened to you… and your uncle. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Hmmm. OK, then. How is the dream journal coming along?"

"I didn't take it to Ember Island with me… I was sorta kidnapped by my friends. And I didn't have it in the hospital. So, I haven't started it."

Dr. Jung sighed. "OK, then. So, I have another assignment for you. I want you to write out everything you remember from the Agni Kai. Start wherever you'd like, at breakfast that day, putting on your socks, whenever, but make sure you include all interactions you had with your father. And end it with the last thing you remember. You said it was his face, so describe it."

Zuko groaned. "Didn't we already talk about it enough?"

"I want something to compare the dream journal to. You said something interesting in our last session. It seems like you are a spectator in your dreams, not actually experiencing it like you did in real life. That's why I want you to write what happened exactly. Spare no details."

"But… but… I'm not a very good writer," Zuko protested.

"Nonsense. Your Fire Lord duties require you to write all the time. There's a desk over there in the corner. Here's some parchment and a quill."

" What, you want me to do it here? Now?"

"Yes."

"But… " Zuko made a noise of frustration.

"I also want to make sure YOU do the work. Not someone else." Dr. Jung raised an eyebrow.

"What? How would someone…? OK… fine!" _I'm not sure what he's getting at, but it's not like anyone else could write this account. No one except…_

Zuko sat at the small corner desk per Dr. Jung's instructions. Its wooden chair was not nearly as comfortable as the plush seating he liked, where he could sink in and enjoy a cup of the doctor's energizing tea. He thought about asking for some tea now, but Dr. Jung appeared to be shuffling through papers on his desk, ignoring him completely. Zuko scratched out the first two sentences he had written. _Ugh, this is hard._ When he made it halfway through the page, he read back through, scratching out every fourth word or so. He gripped his hair in frustration and cast a sidelong glare at the disinterested doctor.

Just then, the door to the office flew open, and a whirlwind of red fabric and black tresses launched toward the doctor. He barely had enough time to stand and catch the woman who then clung desperately to him, sobbing violently.

At first, Dr. Jung held his arms out wide, unsure of what to do. He saw the look of horror on the young Fire Lord's face, but even from across the room, they came to a silent agreement on the matter. Dr. Jung then wrapped his arms around her, and she sank into him even more. "Shhhhhhh. Ursa, it's OK. You're safe now."

After a few minutes, she collected herself enough to say, "I went to see him."

"You did what!?" It was the most emotion Zuko had ever heard the doctor express.

"I shouldn't have. It was terrible. Jung! Please, erase the memory of it. Make it go away!" Ursa gripped him tighter.

Zuko swallowed thickly and closed his eyes. He knew this would happen. And he wished it were as simple as erasing it instead of facing it. But perhaps Dr. Jung was better equipped to help his mother than he was. He thought differently, however, when he opened his eyes and saw Ursa cupping Jung's cheek, unmistakably close to kissing him. Before Zuko could voice his protest, Dr. Jung reacted.

"Ursa, this is not what you need right now. And… now is not a good time." He gently coaxed her aside so that he could open a drawer to his desk.

"Why are you pushing me away?"

"Ursa, take this tea. It's a calming blend. Go see Dr. Yang."

"You don't… want me?"

"No! I mean, yes… dammit. Ursa, we can talk later, OK?"

"Jung, I need you now!'

"But Ursa—"

She started closing the gap between them, and Dr. Jung took a few steps backward. Even Zuko could see the hurt in her eyes at this rejection. He was about to make his presence known since Ursa hadn't noticed him yet, but Dr. Jung beat him to it.

"Ursa! I have a patient! Will you please leave?"

Ursa froze. "Oh!"

Mother and son met eyes, but Zuko saw so much grief in hers, that he had to quickly look away.

"Zuko, what are you doing here?" Her voice was surprisingly steady.

"I… uhhhh…" Zuko looked helplessly at Dr. Jung. He didn't notice that Ursa had crossed over to him and was reading over his shoulder.

"Oh, Zuko…" she gasped.

Zuko quickly covered the parchment, _his_ story. _She doesn't need any more fuel for her pain._

Dr. Jung cleared his throat. "Ursa, please. Do you mind?" He pointed to the door.

Ursa stood there for a few minutes, looking back and forth between them as if weighing her decision. Then, she left without another word.

Dr. Jung followed her to the door. "Sorry about that, Zuko. I very rarely get interruptions, but I'll be sure to lock the door next time."

"I… it's ok." _Not really. None of this is ok._

"So… you didn't tell her you were seeing me?"

"No. She would be… she'd get all… motherly about it. _You_ didn't tell me she was _seeing_ you, either." Zuko glared at the doctor.

"She's not. I haven't seen her in months. I don't know why she would go…" Dr. Jung's cheeks flushed with anger. "I'm sorry. This is your session. Let's get back to it. How's the writing going?"

"It's hard," Zuko admitted.

"Well, I just want you to know that whatever you say… or write… in here is confidential. I won't tell your mother… or anyone for that matter."

Zuko suddenly realized how much that meant to him. "Thanks. I'm sure it wouldn't instill much confidence in me as a leader… if people knew."

"Do you think doing this makes you weak?"

"Ah, no? Yes… I don't know."

"Well, it doesn't. It takes a lot of courage to admit when you need help. We're hard-wired to think we can handle everything on our own, but we're not meant to live that way. We're relational beings. Which is why dysfunctional relationships are the most devastating to us. It's why when one relationship goes badly, we look for solace in another." Dr. Jung nodded to the door as if the exchange with Ursa proved his point.

"I guess so."

Dr. Jung continued. "Healing from your past hurts so that you can have healthy relationships in the future is the best thing you can do for yourself. You are strong, Zuko. You can do this."

"I can't. Do this. Right now." He handed over the parchment.

"It's fine. Do you want to go over this first part you wrote?"

"No."

"Well, then take it and keep working on it."

"No."

"Zuko, what's the…?"

Zuko couldn't describe what he was feeling exactly, but he'd almost lost his uncle, and now _this_ with his mother. He felt _shaken_ —to his very core. "You say that I am strong, but doing this doesn't make me feel strong. It makes me feel shame. I'm tired of taking one step forward and two steps back."

"Any movement forward is progress," Dr. Jung offered by way of encouragement.

 _Then I feel completely and utterly stuck._ Zuko sighed and refused to make eye contact _._

Dr. Jung sensed that Zuko had shut down. "OK, I won't push you. We'll pick up next week, then. If you have any dreams, record them in the journal."

"OK." Zuko stood to leave, but then lingered in the doorway. "Dr. Jung?"

"Yes, Zuko?"

"I don't know what my mother needs right now. If it's a doctor… or a lover… but I don't think that you should be both."

"I think you're right, Zuko. I just want to see her _free_ from all this. I will do whatever I can to help her find healing."

"I wish you could just erase it, like she said." Zuko sighed.

When there was no response, Zuko left wondering what thoughts were behind the doctor's grim expression.

* * *

Zuko had received word that everyone had arrived safely in Two Rivers, and his uncle was resting and recovering well. He felt some anxiety about managing his advisory council without Iroh, but he'd done it before, and he found that with Satoru gone, it was quite productive—and pleasant. He pitched the idea about replacing the High Sage, and they unanimously agreed it should be Shyu. They would draw up the decree and vote—they only needed a majority to pass it, and Zuko felt confident they would get it.

He didn't mention the other matter—about his great grandfather—since he wasn't sure that it mattered much. With Satoru off the council, he should be able to freely marry Katara, he figured. He did ask Piandao in confidence, and the swordmaster suggested that if he was truly curious, that maybe he could find something in the Dragonbone Catacombs. Zuko had zero desire to go down there unless absolutely necessary, so he decided to let it rest.

Katara resumed her work at the hospital. Dr. Yang had strategically scheduled her with certain at-risk patients so that her healing abilities would be drained so much that she couldn't justify tending to Satoru's critical, but non-fatal wounds. Katara normally considered _all_ patients deserving of healing, but she had already saved this man's life once. If he had been successful in his little exile effort, she wouldn't even be here to help anyone much less him.

After work, she would shower, take a little nap, and join Zuko for dinner. Afterward, they would retreat to his office for what became the highlight of their day. Zuko always had more work to do, and Katara proved most helpful. She sorted through the scrolls, alerting him to the most urgent ones, and even answering the more simple requests herself. Their political discussions were always lively and invigorating. Katara realized that Zuko knew a lot and that she had much to learn. Zuko saw that she was a quick study, and he also appreciated her fresh perspective.

Because they were both stubborn and spirited people, they would argue about things, too, but in the good sort of way—where a better solution came about in the end. When Katara would get passionate about a topic, and even when— _especially when_ —she'd get frustrated about it, Zuko found that incredibly… sexy. He knew how to break the tension. With scrolls and Fire Lord robes pushed aside, the desk seemed like as good a place as any.

There was something about fucking in the Fire Lord's office that made Zuko feel very… powerful. It wasn't that he was overpowering her—it was quite the opposite actually. On some nights, she'd partake in her new favorite drink, the Roaring Panda, a spirit distilled from the panda lily with supposed aphrodisiac effects. _Those nights_ , she could be quite dominating. It drove Zuko wild.

No, it was empowering because of the partnership. The unity. The oneness. In those moments, in his mind, she was as much the Fire Lady as he was Fire Lord. He couldn't bring himself to say it, though. Aside from it being unofficial, a little part of him was still scared. Scared that this companionship would vanish by morning. Scared that _she_ would get scared—things hadn't exactly gone well for past Fire Ladies. Scared that if he lost her, he would lose everything.

But that was only a small part of him. The rest of him felt full. Loved. And lucky… for once in his life.

"Come to negotiate, _Ambassador_?" he taunted.

"No, _Fire Lord_ , I plan to take by force," she teased before pinning his thighs to the edge of the desk and rolling her hips into him.

 _Oh, Agni, I could end every day like this._

But the day didn't end there. The office became a place for _that_ because the bed had become a place for screams of terror and words of comfort. He was sweating _again_ , but from fear instead. She gripped him so tightly that her nails started to dig in, but this time for a different reason. The nightmares came every night now, and neither of them knew what to do.

Zuko tried writing in the dream journal, but the content of his dreams was becoming more and more convoluted. There was always a flaming fist, that much he knew, but he couldn't tell _whose_ it was. Sometimes he couldn't write about it. It just didn't make sense.

So then he decided to write about what really happened. He would often do this soon after waking up from a nightmare. Somehow it helped him gather his thoughts, bring him back to reality. Since this happened _to be_ his reality.

* * *

 **A/N:** The session with Dr. Jung also appears in my side fic, _The Doctor Is In_ , but the only thing that differs is the addition of my author's notes. Zuko has always disapproved of Dr. Jung and his mother having a relationship. He doesn't know about her being a Joo Dee, though.

Zuko's council is a bit of a fledgling operation as far as government models go. I think I'm trying to figure it out as much as he is. Like how exactly are decisions and laws made? I do think that Zuko would want advisors not only because he's young but also because he wants to do things differently—and better—than his father did. The Fire Sages are essentially ordained by Agni, however, with a historical "spiritual connection to fire." I decided for them to essentially operate as dynasties because Avatar Wiki said that Shyu's father was also a Fire Sage.

So, I give Zuko a lot of confidence in the physical aspect of their relationship for a reason. Mainly because he lacks confidence in so many other areas, but I do think he'd be pretty damn good at this part. He's a fast learner, and he goes to great lengths to please the ones he loves. This yields great results when it comes to sex with Katara—she's _very_ responsive, lets him know what she likes, and she even takes the lead every now and then, which he _loves._

I saw a piece of "nsfw" fanart recently that while beautiful like everything else the artist does, was entitled "Zuko Atones..." It bothered me. Sex should never be about what is owed. Or used as a bargaining chip. Or a source of empowerment of one over the other. Yes, I understand roleplay and certain power plays being very sensual. It works for some relationships, I realize, but the key word is _mutual_. Maybe later in their relationship, I could see a little "I'll save you from the pirates" action going on, but I can't see this idea of atonement being very healthy. Zuko is forgiven for his "past atrocities," and he'll need forgiveness again because like Piandao said, seeking perfection in a relationship is setting oneself up for failure. So, simply put, Zutara sex is always about pleasure, never about penance.


	18. The Power of Words

**A/N:** The session Dr. Yang references below is detailed in _The Doctor Is In_ : Chapter 8, Session 5.

* * *

In a word, Zuko was exhausted. Which meant he started waking up in strange places, hard-pressed to remember how he got there. One time, he was in the meeting room where he had decided to "rest his eyes" after the advisory council had adjourned. Another time he was by the turtleduck pond wearing his training clothes, but he couldn't remember if he was coming or going to his lessons. Then, there was that time he woke up in Dr. Yang's office.

"Sleep well, Fire Lord?" Dr. Yang asked. She sat at her desk with a book in one hand and a quill in the other.

"Ummm, I guess so. How'd I get here?" He stretched and yawned. She had a nice office, he noted, with a couch.

"You were having a session with Dr. Jung in here, but he told me to let you rest as long as you needed to," she answered.

"Oh." He remembered now. He had given Dr. Jung his dream journal and his written account of what happened on the day of the Agni Kai. He assumed they would talk about it, there was _always_ talking, but he must have fallen asleep instead.

"Katara seems very tired as well," Dr. Yang said. "I gave her the rest of the day off."

"Oh." Zuko thought he should say something more, apologize perhaps, but his mind went blank.

"You know, Zuko, it's refreshing to see the bond you two share. True, selfless, devotion to one another. I just wish things didn't have to be so hard for you."

"I…uhhh. Thank you? I think?"

"Well, I have confidence that the past won't repeat itself at least. I just wish the future looked a little brighter."

"Heh." Zuko wasn't sure how to respond to that.

"I'm sorry, I'm sure that doesn't make you feel better. There's a reason why I don't try to do Dr. Jung's job."

"Dr. Yang, were you able to help my mother? Last week, when she…"

Dr. Yang sighed. "Zuko, your mother has come to me _countless_ times over the years, but she's always been a bit disillusioned where your father is concerned. She wants a quick fix, like a salve and a bandage to simply cover the wound. But her scars run deep, and I think at this point, _she_ is the only one who can fix them."

Zuko didn't know how to respond to that, either. He felt like nothing was making sense and everything sounded hopeless. It was just… darkness. As if the dawn would never come.

* * *

Katara knew she should be sleeping, but the palace gardens were always so peaceful and inviting. Winter in the Fire Nation was so mild, too, by comparison. It was a nice contrast to the summer's relentless heat, and so vastly different from winter in the South Pole. Flowers were actually blooming, for example. As she wandered around in a near daydream state, she almost tripped over someone's foot. She found the gardener sitting propped up against a rock, writing in a journal.

"Oh! I'm sorry. I didn't see you there," she apologized.

"No worries, Lady Katara. I'm the one who stuck my feet out in the pathway." Wrinkles tugged at the corners of his eyes when the man smiled. "The gardens don't get many visitors in the winter."

"Oh? It's hardly cold, though. And there are still flowers blooming." Katara gestured with her hand to the buds around them.

"Perspective," the gardener said simply.

Katara shrugged. "That's a good idea, though. To write out here among nature's beauty. I used to keep a journal. Maybe I should do that again."

"Today I am writing poetry," the gardener offered. "But usually I like to write stories."

Katara sat down beside him and tucked her knees under her chin. "What kind of stories?"

"Oh, any story, really. I look for inspiration all around me. And I find that it usually takes on a life of its own. Then it becomes more about the story and its characters and less about me. I hope that when someone reads it, they forget who I am. I am not important. I want the story to live forever."

Katara thought that sounded really familiar but she couldn't quite place it. "Can I read something you wrote?"

The gardener thumbed through the pages of his journal. "This one is a work-in-progress. Perhaps you have a suggestion of what should happen next…"

Katara read the title out loud, "Dr. Fung and Lady Rusa: Learning to Love Again." _Ah-ha! I remember now!_ "You're the playwright!"

"I have written a play or two, come to think of it," the gardener said in a noncommittal tone.

"No. I mean, you wrote about Kuzo and Takara. We saw the play on Ember Island!" Katara then had a funny feeling. Like this man was more than a gardener. He was like… _a spy._

"Oh, yes. That one."

An uncomfortable silence stretched between them. Katara wanted to ask how the gardener knew about all that stuff in the play, but could she just come out and say it without sounding like she was accusing him of something?

"Did you… like the play?" he asked suddenly.

"Oh… um. Yeah, for the most part. It ended very tragically. Why… did you kill off Zu—I mean, Kuzo a-and Luza?"

"Well, it's not meant to be true, of course. I meant it to be symbolic."

"Uhhhh, ok."

"Well, you could interpret it one of two ways. They died, and that was a relief from all their pain and suffering. Admittedly, I often thought that would just be easier… for them…"

Katara then decided she was seriously creeped out by this man.

"Or you could see it as them dying to their old selves and embracing their new selves which is closer to what actually happened, I suppose. Zuko left a heritage of war mongering and became a protector of peace. Azula left a life of control and manipulation and became a blank slate…"

"What about me? Or Ta-takara? Does she represent anything?"

"Of course. She is the peasant."

"What's that supposed to mean? I'm not even really a peasant, you know. Back home, I'm—"

"She represents that hope can be found in the most unexpected of places. And she is not influenced by status or power. She is pure and loving and self-sacrificing. She is the embodiment of peace. She _must_ be a peasant, because once she is put on a pedestal, she becomes a prize to be won. Peace is for _all_ people, not some war trophy for royalty and nobility to claim for themselves."

"I don't know what you're getting at, but I am not anybody's trophy. And Zuko certainly doesn't see me that way…as…his… prize, or whatever," she fumed. _At least this part of the play wasn't explicitly drawn out. War trophy indeed._

"Of course not, Lady Katara. Like I said, it's not meant to be true. Just… remember to be true to yourself. No matter what happens."

* * *

After the strange encounter with the gardener, Katara went to find Zuko. She knew he usually had various appointments scheduled during the afternoons, but she headed to his office on the off-chance that he wasn't busy. His door was slightly ajar, and she almost walked right in before quickly sidestepping to listen to his conversation with Fire Sage Shyu.

"I'm sorry, Fire Lord Zuko, but I'm afraid I cannot accept the appointment to the council," Shyu was saying.

"What!? But why?" was the frustrated Fire Lord's reply.

Shyu began pacing back and forth across the office. Katara couldn't see him but could hear his footsteps as he spoke. "The traditional role of the Fire Sages was never meant to be political. We have lost our spiritual purpose, and I feel my place is in the temple where I intend to restore the faith of the Fire Nation and receive anyone who comes there seeking knowledge and truth."

Zuko didn't respond for a few minutes. For all the times they had talked about politics, the topic of religion had never come up, so Katara honestly didn't know his thoughts on the matter. Finally he said, "I respect that. That is why I have a Fire Sage sit on the council. I recruited my advisors for the purpose of rebuilding the Fire Nation, and each member contributes in their respective ways to serving our nation. Spirituality should be the focus of the High Sage, yet Satoru has failed—err, _disappointed_ me on this front."

"That… does shed things in a different light, I suppose," Shyu considered. "However, it has also been the traditional role of the Fire Sages to pledge their allegiance and aid to the Avatar. I fear that my exclusive involvement in Fire Nation government dealings would hinder my ability to offer neutral support where the Avatar is concerned."

"But the Avatar is my friend," Zuko protested. "Aang and I worked together to—"

Katara sensed Zuko's temper rising, but she also knew something that might help. She slipped inside the door and coughed to make her presence known.

"Katara? What are you doing here?" Zuko turned toward her, his face already reddening from anger.

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but overhear. And I have some information that might help Fire Sage Shyu make his decision."

Both Fire Lord and Fire Sage looked at her with raised eyebrows. She cleared her throat.

"On Crescent Island, the night of the Solstice, you recall what Avatar Roku said to me, right Fire Sage Shyu?" Katara waited for the man to nod in acknowledgement.

"Well, Zuko may not know of the prophesy you were given 22 years ago. Would you care to enlighten him?"

"Knowledge of such things has only driven Fire Lords to madness, Lady Katara." Shyu closed his eyes and bowed his head at this admission.

Zuko stood up from behind his desk and gaped at them. He certainly didn't want to go mad, that had been his greatest fear all along, but they couldn't _not_ tell him.

"Well, I already told him that Roku said we'd have children and grandchildren," Katara started. "And it affects his future as much as mine, so…"

Shyu nodded again and said with solemnity, "Avatar Roku prophesied that one of his descendants would also be an avatar. Then I believe he told you that it would be your granddaughter."

Zuko sat back down in his chair with a hard _thud_. He had absolutely no idea what to think about this development. Katara had been right. How do you properly plan when a prophesy is in place?

Katara seemed to have a plan, though, at least for the short term. "So, Fire Sage Shyu, don't you see? In serving Zuko, you are essentially serving the future of the Avatar, are you not? As to the matters of spirituality, there was something else Roku said to me. He said that while it was Aang's job to restore balance in the world, it would be the next Avatar's job to restore balance between our world and the spirit world. So, I think your role is clear. By accepting the position as High Sage, you will be upholding the tradition of the Fire Sages in not only serving the spiritual needs of the Fire Nation, but the entire world."

Zuko was rendered speechless. He had heard what Katara was saying without really listening. He was still stuck on _my granddaughter will be the next Avatar?_ He heard Shyu saying something in response, but everything was muddled. Then they both looked at him expectantly, and he simply nodded. _Granddaughter… Avatar…_

After Shyu left, Katara waved a hand in front of his face. "Yoo hoo, Zuko? You there?"

"Um, yeah?"

"So, when do you want to go to the Dragonbone Catacombs?"

"What!?"

She let out a noise of frustration even though she knew he hadn't been listening. "Shyu has agreed to become the High Sage but only if you conduct the traditional ceremony. He says the rites are documented somewhere in the catacombs."

* * *

Zuko hated the Dragonbone Catacombs. They were dark and dusty and creepy and… _cold._ The upside was that Katara had offered to go with him and that the Fire Sages kept all of their documentation and artifacts well-cared-for in an easily accessible vault. He wondered why Shyu didn't just come down here and find the information himself. It even happened to be in the first place he looked. Shyu worked at the temple just above the catacombs, so he could have easily retrieved the materials himself. _Oh well, we got what we need, so let's just get out of here. Katara?_

She had shifted some crates around toward the back of the vault and was thumbing through a stack of old, dusty parchment.

"I already found it. Let's go!" He shivered despite being a firebender. _What is she looking for?_

"Found it! He said it would be here!" She pulled a tattered sheet from the pile.

 _What? Who?_ Zuko shuffled over to her side and peered at the writing. It was a marriage certificate. Between Fire Lord Sozin and Makenna of the Southern Water Tribe.

"Whoa." Zuko let out the breath he had been holding.

"Shyu said I might just happen to find this here. It wouldn't look good if he found it. Not before taking Satoru's position when he's so obviously against us getting married. Shyu made me promise that's not the only reason you wanted him on the council," Katara explained.

 _Man, how long was I out of it?_ "Well, it's not. But what did you say?" Zuko ran his fingers over the smudged ink. Not only was it true, but it was official. He wondered who else knew about it.

"I told him I wasn't going to have your kids unless we're married first." She smirked at him and then leaned in for a kiss.

Zuko stopped her. "Not here. This place gives me the creeps."

"No fantasies about doing it in a crypt, huh?"


	19. Human Resources

Lieutenant Jee had been chosen as Advisor to the Fire Lord expressly for his ability to tell the young leader the harsh truth to his face. Zuko knew that the nobles in the fire court would always pander to him, and even his uncle's advice came with a protective spin to it. No, Advisor Jee would never sugar coat anything, and for the most part, Zuko appreciated this. _Mostly._

Recently, however, Jee would tell him things like, "Fire Lord, you look like shit," and "If you're that tired, why did you even bother coming to the meeting?" Zuko had to draw the line at, "The dark circles under your eyes make your scar look as fresh as the pink skin of a baby's ass." Jee had been temporarily dismissed from the council after that comment. The sleep-deprived Fire Lord's patience grew thinner on all accounts as the days passed in a blur of busyness sandwiched in between terror-filled nights.

While Jee had a knack for pressing Zuko's buttons, he was also adept at controlling other flaring tempers on the council. Perhaps it was his military training that had hardened him or his long days at sea that had toughened him, but the lieutenant could take and dish out _anything_ , it seemed. When Zuko asked—or rather, _forced_ him to leave the council that morning, Jee set about another important task. He took the initiative to inform Satoru of the decision to replace him with Shyu as High Sage. He was accustomed to dealing with the man's outbursts anyway.

If the Fire Sage's jaw hadn't been broken, he might have responded with more than a grunt. If his arm wasn't broken, too, then he might have threatened Jee with fire. And if the Water Tribesman hadn't kept kicking him when he was down, effectively breaking several of his ribs, then Satoru might have reacted more harshly to the news. Jee had to admit that he was impressed with Bato and the beating he'd administered in defense of his girlfriend, Ming. Then again, Bato was a man of war, too. Jee just couldn't remember what it felt like to fight for a cause with such passion.

* * *

Katara wasn't sure why but she started to feel bad for Satoru. In truth, healing bones was very difficult work, but she could probably manage the smaller ones spread out over several sessions. She'd save the jaw for last in case he felt compelled to say anything to her, of course. Dr. Yang relented, saying that ribs take a long time to heal on their own and run the risk of puncturing the lungs and other surrounding soft tissue. Katara suspected that maybe Dr. Yang was tired of having him as a patient.

He'd glare at her while she healed him, and she wondered if he would _ever_ change. It took four days to repair his ribs which afforded him some mobility. The arm would prove more laborious, and she dreaded working on his jaw. She was actually concerned he might try to bite her. However, it didn't matter, because Satoru left the hospital on his own volition, and no one, not even the other Fire Sages, knew where he had gone. Zuko and Katara both agreed that this did not bode well. They feared it would only be a matter of time before he showed up again… a likely with a vengeance.

But Zuko couldn't dwell on that fear. Not when fear consumed him every night. Not when so much work demanded his attention during the day. The work load alone must be what made his ancestors go mad, he figured. His uncle promised he would return within a week, but Zuko thought he might lose his mind before then. At least Iroh had managed to appease Arik's parents after Satoru had chased them off and would be bringing the boy back with him. Meanwhile, Zuko just needed someone to help him keep his schedule straight. Like an assistant. Then a very opportunistic conversation happened.

"Zu—I mean, Fire Lord Zuko, I'm sorry, I know you're busy, but…" Jin poked her head inside his office door just in time to catch him nodding off in between meetings.

 _Or I think I have meetings? Hell, I don't know any more._ "No, no bother. What's up, Jin?"

"Well, I was wondering… do you have anything for me to do? Or well, I mean, that you need someone to do. Again, I don't want to be a bother. You don't have to find something for me to do. I can do that for myself. I just want to help. I can make tea or cook or whatever. I can earn my keep. I don't want to be a freeloader or anything." She blushed when she realized she was babbling.

"I could use a kick ass cup of tea right now," Zuko admitted. _Some of that stuff Dr. Jung brews. When is my next session with him anyway?_

Then it hit him. "No, actually. I could use someone to help me keep my shit together."

"Umm?" Jin looked at him questioningly and started chewing on her bottom lip.

"Like someone to keep track of my schedule. And dictate letters. And take notes. And yes, go get tea. Like an administrative assistant," he explained.

"Umm."

"I'm sorry. You're right. You probably don't want to—"

"I'd be honored Zu—uhh, sir," Jin replied.

"Please, call me Zuko."

She laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"I'll try, but honestly every time I look at you, the first thing I think of is 'Lee.'"

Zuko groaned.

"What? Lee was nice." Jin smiled and shrugged.

"Lee wasn't me."

"Of course he was, silly. And you're nice, too. Although you look a bit… tired. Are you OK?"

Zuko groaned again and handed her some parchment and a quill. He'd start by giving her his daily schedule and go from there. As he spoke, he began to relax. He knew he could trust her, and that was a good feeling. She dutifully wrote down everything he said and then stepped right into her roll with, "OK, in ten minutes you have a meeting with Fire Sage Shyu to go over his appointment ceremony to High Sage."

* * *

"Zuko..." Jin nudged the sleeping Fire Lord.

He stirred to find himself in the council meeting room again. He had fallen asleep here too many times, he decided. Today he would ask Dr. Yang for sun poppy tea to help him sleep at night. This was beyond ridiculous.

"You have a session with Dr. Jung," Jin informed him.

 _If only Dr. Jung would give me some of that energy-enhancing tea he's got_ … Zuko headed for the royal hospital hoping more for _answers_ rather than tea remedies anyway.

* * *

The next thing he knew, Zuko awoke to find himself on the floor of the Agni Kai arena. At first he felt certain he was dreaming. This was the setting for most of his nightmares, after all. But when he realized certain key elements were missing, he tried to piece the rest together. _How did I get here? Surely I haven't gone this far in acting them out…_

No, he remembered. He had been in a session with Dr. Jung. They did talk about him acting out his dreams, about the time he nearly hit Katara, but it wasn't so much _what_ he was doing, but rather _who_ he was… at this recollection, he let out a scream that echoed throughout the arena. The rawness he felt in his throat reminded him that he'd already spent a fair bit of time screaming before he fell asleep.

He then heard a shuffle and a scuff in the distance… he was not alone.

"Who's there?" Zuko pushed himself to his feet.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Fire Lord," a gruff voice responded from the darkness. "But I saw the door was open. We haven't used the arena is some time, so…"

Zuko could just barely make out the weathered face of a man he recognized, but couldn't quite place. "Well, _I'm_ using it right now. So can you please leave me be?"

"I would, sir, but… something seems to be bothering you. And I think—"

"Bothering me? What makes you think something is bothering me? No. Nothing is bothering me. Nothing at all," Zuko said in a mocking tone.

When the old man sighed, dust particles danced through the air, as if death and decay came alive through his very breath. "There's something I need to tell you, Fire Lord Zuko. I'm ashamed that I've waited this long. But hearing your anguish is…" He gulped. "No one should have to bear such burdens. And I don't offer relief, only some answers, if you'll hear me out." He then moved into the small patch of light that trickled in from the windows.

Zuko squinted at him. "You're the… gardener?"

"I am now. But I used to be something else. And after today, I think I should resign from my service to the royal family."

"Umm, okay."

"Would you mind if we took a walk in the gardens? I much prefer the fresh air there."

"Sure?" Zuko felt like a mystery was about to unravel, and the sensation of mere curiosity had overtaken him. He had momentarily forgotten what secrets in the Fire Nation usually entailed. Once they were outside, and the older man had set a comfortable pace down flower-lined pathways, the gardener began his tale.

"When your uncle and your blind friend were interviewing the staff here to determine our loyalties at the beginning of your reign, I truly felt remorse for what I had done in your father's service and requested a simple, modest job. I had nowhere else to go, you see. That's how I got my despicable position in the first place. No one knew me, no one would miss me, and no one would ever want to see me again.

I served as your father's personal spy. At first this mean odd jobs, albeit terrible ones, but those are insignificant now. When your mother left, however, it became my sole purpose to follow her and report back to him. So, I knew she was in Ba Sing Se working with a doctor, and this was relatively uninteresting information until…

I saw them together one night. She had been emotionally distraught, and he was comforting her, and well, they were good for each other, in all honesty. But this was not what I reported back to your father, of course. He only saw the affair, the act of betrayal, and as you can imagine, he was livid. He told me to go back and kill the doctor and bring your mother home.

When I went back, she had apparently left and was nowhere to be found. The doctor was working with the Dai Li which I knew to be as good as a death sentence anyhow, so I let him be and went searching for her. Meanwhile, your father's form of retaliation was to take a mistress. I only met the unfortunate girl once. She, like you, was just another innocent caught up in this terrible game of his. He had this insatiable need for ultimate control and felt compelled to exploit someone new when he thought he was losing it.

When I finally found your mother through a lead given by a wealthy Fire Nation merchant who had been doing business with a family in the Earth Kingdom, she seemed settled and happy. I should have just let her be, but he pressed me relentlessly for a report, so I finally told him information I thought to be harmless. She was serving as a nanny and teaching bending lessons. No drama. No threat. And no love interest.

His reaction was shockingly _worse_. He said how could she love another child when she'd abandoned her own? He said she had broken her promise and now she would pay. I had no idea what this meant. I was also confused because I thought he had been the one to send her away in the first place. It seemed that what he meant was that _you_ were to pay by the way he stormed off to your room that night…

He then told me he had a plan to lure her back, and it was my job to make sure she knew about it. I was to be positioned in Gaoling and wait. I asked him how I would know about it, and he said that _everyone_ would know.

He used you as bait, Fire Lord Zuko. It had to be public, it had to be painful, and it had to be _her_ son, he said. Then she would know that he meant business. And she would never betray him or the royal family ever again. I wasn't here on the day of the Agni Kai. I had no idea what he was planning, but he was waiting for you to slip up, even if it was in the slightest way. You walked right into a trap that day. Into the middle of something that had absolutely nothing to do with you.

Afterward, I followed your mother to Ba Sing Se. Back to the doctor. I had orders that if anything went awry to just bring her back to the Fire Nation anyway. Well, things went to bloody hell, that's what. The fucking doctor erased her memories. This would not do. Ozai needed her to know who she was, what he did, and why. That was the whole point of why he did it. I thought I was screwed.

The Dai Li solved that problem for me. They took your mother from the doctor. I could have warned him they were corrupt. She became a sort of brainwashed prototype, a Joo Dee, or something like that. By the time I made it back to the Fire Nation, you were just a few days away from being released from the hospital.

With his plan thwarted and all that nonsense about you losing your honor, he had to keep up appearances. He had counted on Ursa coming back to intervene. Spirits only know what he would have done to her or you then, but with her out of the picture, he had to contend with what he had done to you. So, he banished you and sent you on some ridiculous quest to find the Avatar. Because you represented his failure, and he simply could not bear to lose control.

I am telling you all these terrible things for two reasons, Fire Lord Zuko. One, you have to know that it has absolutely nothing to do with you. At age thirteen, you had more honor than your father could ever hope to have, and it pains me to see that to this day, he still seems to have control over you. He went to great lengths to gain his power, but he does not deserve any of it. He certainly doesn't deserve the right to have any power over you.

Two. The doctor. He cannot be trusted. I don't know how much your mother remembers, but surely she doesn't because she would have told you, and therefore he wouldn't still be here. And if you think the doctor can help _you_ … well, I won't go as far as to say that he was a cause, but he was certainly a catalyst in your suffering.

I hope you will forgive me for not telling you sooner. I do not ask for forgiveness for the part I played because I know it is unforgivable. Even though I was just a messenger, I could have lied. I could have protected you and your mother. I was a lesser man then, and I will always have to live with the regret and pain of what I did. I will take my leave now, Fire Lord Zuko. I won't be seeing you again, but if circumstances were different, I would gladly do your bidding. You are a great leader, and the future of the Fire Nation is in very honorable and capable hands."

If it was mere curiosity that drew Zuko in, then it was outright terror that kept him there. He didn't say anything throughout the man's story, but when he finally shook himself out his horrified stupor, the gardener had already disappeared. Zuko's mind whirred with thoughts, his blood boiled with anger, his limbs shook in fear. There was only one place he could think of to go.

Dr. Jung's office.

* * *

 **A/N:** Before Zuko ends up in the Agni Kai arena, he has a session with Dr. Jung which is detailed in _The Doctor Is In_ , Chapter 9: Session 6. If you don't want to skip over, the gist is that the doctor points out that Zuko roleplays his father in his dreams. Zuko probably made this connection on his own a while back but doesn't want to admit it. So, the dreams are tied to his intrinsic fear of becoming like his father. They intensified when he became Fire Lord and can be triggered by any memory of his abusive past. Almost losing his uncle and the harsh words of Takeo coupled with his attempts at therapeutic recovery are what caused the most recent onslaught of nightmares.

So, that's Zuko's problem. It looks pretty dire right now, but he'll get better. Now, on to the problem of Ozai. He's been one of those behind-the-scenes characters that I've wanted to deal with for a long time mainly because he affects two of my main characters' development in such a huge way. Sorry if the gardener's tale was a bit long, but _someone_ had to reveal the truth to Zuko. How about the spy-turned-playwright-turned-gardener? Katara knew when he was quoting proverbs at the parade that something was off about the guy.

So, if Ozai were simply a narcissist, then he would believe that his family members exist to boost his self-importance. It might make sense that he would command Zuko to stand and fight for his honor during the Agni Kai—because he wouldn't want his kid to make him look bad—but it doesn't entirely make sense why he would challenge him to the fight in the first place. The narcissist would be like, let the kid fight the general, I have more important things to do. I think the show presents Ozai as just this really bad guy who does really bad stuff because he's really bad. But it's more calculated than that. There's a method to the man's madness. So the wheels in my head canon started spinning.

Now, if Ozai had a narcissistic personality disorder, then it wouldn't just be about self-importance. It would be about ultimate control. Um, hello? Phoenix King? So with Ursa, Ozai comes the closest to losing control, and he simply can't have that. He has to bargain with her, and in his mind, he bargains with no one. (I reference their promises to each other in both _Darkness Before Dawn_ and _Deal Breakers_ ). She made the poison and essentially secured his crown for him, so a part of him knows he's indebted to her for that. It drives him crazy. And when she leaves the Fire Nation, it further represents a loss of control to him, since she had always been there for him to command and leverage.

 _Burning Passion_ gives further insight into the Ozai-Ursa relationship. It's pretty dark, but it gives a frame of reference for what Ursa is dealing with right now. And more info about Fire Nation family dynamics that shape both Iroh and Ozai will be revealed later in _Rising Tide,_ so stay tuned! But for now, Zuko must absorb this new info that the Agni Kai was truly _not_ about him, and he must decide what to do about Dr. Jung.


	20. Another Lee

Katara was used to Zuko's mope sessions, but it had been ages since he'd completely disappeared to have one. Even with his brief hiatus on Ember Island, she had known where to find him. While searching _everywhere_ on the palace grounds, she ran into the gardener. Admittedly, after talking to him about the play, she had been trying to avoid him. The old man asked if she was looking for the Fire Lord, warned her that it might be bad, and begged her to help in any way that she could. Then he said goodbye and added "forever" followed by a faint, "I'm sorry." It was the oddest exchange.

She finally found Zuko on the roof just as the sun was setting. The Fire Nation winter was mild by day but carried a bite by night. Her shivering alerted him to her presence. He didn't acknowledge her, though, nor offer to keep her warm. _It is bad_ , she realized.

"Everyone's looking for you," she said as she sat down next to him.

"I don't want to be found." His voice sounded raw and very, very tired.

"Zuko…" _Give him space. He'll talk when he's ready._

"Today was probably the worst day of my life."

"Oh." _That's saying something._

"Katara, I've done something. I…"

She reached out and rubbed his shoulder. He shuddered under her touch.

"I need to get away from the palace," he whispered.

"But we just got back from Ember Island." _Twice._

"I know, not for long. Just for… tonight. I know a place Uncle told me about."

"Can I at least tell your mother where you're going? She's worried about you."

"I want you to come with me. And I want to leave now."

* * *

Katara had never been to the harbor village. It smelled—no, _reeked_ of fish and stale ale, and even though she and Zuko were dressed in dark cloaks, she didn't like the looks people were giving them. She wondered if anyone recognized their Fire Lord. The Dancing Dragon didn't look like much from the outside, its wooden frame rotting from the sea air, but inside it was warm, bright, and welcoming.

"It's a tavern?" Katara asked.

"And an inn, I think," Zuko replied.

"And how can I be of service to you two mysterious travelers?" The innkeeper appeared from behind the bar.

Zuko lowered his hood, and Katara saw the recognition in the other man's face. However, he nodded knowingly at whatever Zuko showed him that was in his palm. _Curious,_ she thought.

"Lin!" the innkeeper called. "I need you to prepare a room."

"But sir, I'm running late!" A woman shuffled in with a pile of linens stacked so high she could barely see over them. "I was just about to leave."

Katara breathed in sharply. She figured the moon must be full because she could feel their blood once Zuko and Lin made eye contact. _They must know each other_. Both of their pulses quickened, his blood turned to fire, hers to ice. She looked to Zuko for some sort of explanation. Despite the heat she could sense inside him, his face was completely drained of color.

"Here, I'll help you." Katara took the stack from Lin's arms. The girl seemed frozen on the spot, paralyzed by fear.

"Nonsense. You are our guest. Lin here is probably just a little awestruck that our Fire Lord has graced us with his presence. She'll prepare the room, and then she can leave," the innkeeper instructed.

Lin nodded without a word, turned on her heel, and disappeared up a staircase. Katara then realized she was still holding the linens. The innkeeper sighed.

"It's okay. Really." Katara followed Lin up the stairs.

"I'm so sorry about that. She's a good girl," the innkeeper said to Zuko. "And it's really hard to find good help around here."

"She…" Zuko stared at the spot where Lin had been standing. "You take good care of her, right?"

"Of course, of course. She only works the day shift. We get some pretty seedy folks in here at night as you can imagine. I've even been walking her home since it's been getting dark earlier in the winter. I'll tell the cook you're here, and if you're hungry, he'll fix you right up while I'm gone."

"Thank you, sir."

"Heh. I imagine you want to keep a low profile during your visit? Although of all the places to take a pretty girl—"

"It's not—"

"It's not any of my business," the innkeeper interjected. "But I would advise that in an hour or two, you make yourselves scarce. I only have one other overnight guest, but the bar will be full tonight."

"I… thanks, again." Zuko rubbed his thumb over the white lotus tile he was still holding. He glanced up at the matching placard that hung over the bar.

"How is your uncle these days?" A smile formed at the corners of the innkeeper's mouth. "If you don't mind me asking."

"He's…doing well. He took a short vacation, but I expect him home any day now." Zuko returned the other man's smile. Iroh had told him the Order of the White Lotus would always be able to help, no questions asked. It was the _no questions_ part that he hoped for the most.

* * *

Zuko awoke like he did most nights, but this time more disoriented that usual. Once he remembered that he was sleeping in a seaside inn and not his palace bedroom, he could make better sense of his surroundings as residual images of his dream faded away. Katara was still there, though. She was his constant. His breath of fresh air when he felt like he was suffocating. His cool wave of relief when he felt like he was on fire. The light in his neverending darkness.

When efforts of returning to sleep became futile, Zuko wandered down the staircase into the common area. He was surprised to find the innkeeper there sitting by a fire.

"It's always hard to sleep in a bed different than your own, isn't it?" the man said.

"I have difficulty sleeping anyway. I wish it were simply the bed that was the problem." Zuko sat in the chair opposite the innkeeper.

"Can I get you something to drink? A beer perhaps? I was just about to refill mine." The innkeeper stood with a tankard in one hand while using the other to steady himself.

"Sure."

"You strike me as more of a whiskey man, though." The man stroked his beard while scanning Zuko's face as if to find some answer there. "But not firewhiskey, no. More of the Earth Kingdom style. I think I may have just the thing."

Zuko did find that he much preferred the sweet earthiness of this type of whiskey over the fiery bite of his nation's traditional drink. He sipped and sighed.

"So, I've seen many travelers come through here, but very rarely do I see Water Tribe," the innkeeper said.

"The Water Tribe and Fire Nation have not historically had the best relationship, I suppose," Zuko responded.

"True. True. Times are changing, though. She's good for you, I must say."

"Wha—how would you know? You saw us together for like five minutes?"

"She centers you. Maybe it's the whole fire and water thing, I don't know, but I sense that you two balance each other out. Maybe I'm just an old man looking for a good love story. There's never enough talk about love these days."

Zuko's thoughts consumed him, painful memories of the previous day, questions he had about Lin, fears he had about the future. It was some time before either of them spoke again.

"Do you love her?" the innkeeper asked.

"More than anything in the world," Zuko said without hesitation.

"Then do whatever it takes to keep her."

More silence stretched between them as they each sipped their drinks. Then, "Tell me about Lin." Zuko hoped he could handle the answer.

"Ah, Miss Lin." The innkeeper yawned, his profile illuminated in the firelight. "She is quiet. And jumpy. But she's a very hard worker. I know she was a servant before she came here, but she has some sort of benefactor now. I don't know details, but I don't think she _has_ to work. I think she chooses to."

"A benefactor? Someone who pays for what? Food and lodging?"

"I guess. Or perhaps the nanny. I think that's why she works, to set an example for her son. Although honestly, I think she should just stay home with the boy. Children need their mothers."

Zuko nearly choked on his whiskey. "She has a s-s-son?"

"Yes. He's a beautiful child. Maybe three or four years old now? She never speaks of the father, though. He must have been a handsome lad, like you. But perhaps she wasn't as lucky in love."

 _Lucky._ Zuko remembered hating that word. He was lucky to be born, apparently. Piandao said luck had nothing to do with love anyway. But what about this child? _Unlucky_ was a mild way of describing the circumstances under which he came into the world. Of course, Zuko didn't know for sure, but with the gardener's tale so fresh on his mind and the odd coincidence of seeing Lin the same day… he felt almost certain.

* * *

He saw her again at breakfast the next day.

"Hi, uh… Zuko, here." _What the hell am I supposed to say to her? Hey, I'm sorry my father burned you and spirits knows what else. And that now you have a kid as a daily reminder of your pain…_

"I know. I remember," she said softly.

"Um, right, so…"

"I used to work in the palace." She placed a cup of tea in front of him.

It suddenly felt terribly wrong to Zuko for her to be serving him. "I d-don't remember you, sorry. And when you came to my office, I'm sorry if you thought—"

"Don't. I made a wrong assumption. I let my fears get the best of me. I am… trying not to live in fear anymore."

"When you figure out how to do that, will you let me know?" He caught something in her expression, understanding, yes, but perhaps something more—was it relief? He also noticed what he had seen before. She looked a lot like his mother.

"You wouldn't have remembered me," she continued. "I worked in the kitchens, and your father was…very discreet."

Zuko closed his eyes, wondering if he should continue. Discretion had not been his own experience with his father's wrath, but perhaps it should be maintained under these circumstances. Yet, something still bothered him.

"The innkeeper—I guess he didn't give his name—tells me you have a son?"

"I don't know his name, either. He doesn't tell anyone." Lin dropped her voice to a whisper. "I think he's part of a secret society or something."

"Oh." _Yeah, something like that._

"I just call him 'master.'" She shrugged. "Old habits die hard, I guess."

Zuko felt like his stomach had lurched into his throat. "You shouldn't. I mean… does he treat you well? Do you like it here?"

"I like it well enough."

"I just lost my gardener yesterday, in fact. So the job offer still stands, you know, if you wanna…" The look on her face was quite stricken, so he quickly recoiled his statement. "Of course, not. It's stupid of me to ask you to come back there. Hell, I don't even want to be there. It's why I'm here, actually."

"His name is Lee," she answered suddenly.

At first Zuko thought she was talking about the innkeeper.

"He's three. He'll be four in the summer, the perfect Fire Nation baby."

"I…I'm so sorry."

"For what?"

"For all of it. For what my father did. For what you had to go through. And now this child…"

"Oh, Lee was a blessing."

"Huh?"

"He saved me. When I found out I was pregnant, your father banished me. It was the best thing that could have ever happened. And to this day, he continues to be my hope, my little ray of sunshine."

Zuko gaped at her. It made some sense, what she was saying—hadn't his mother said the same thing about him? But it was all so overwhelming. Not only did family secrets continue to unfold at every juncture, but new family members presented themselves as well. In just a few short months he had learned of two uncles he had never known and now, a half-brother.

"So, you named him Lee?" It wasn't really what he meant to say, but he reflected on how his own banishment had ended up being a blessing, of sorts, and how another child named Lee had impacted him along the way. And how sometimes he just wanted the simplicity of _being_ Lee, an Earth Kingdom refugee who served tea.

"Yes, there are so many Lees, you know," she explained. "I didn't want him to stand out, I guess. Partly so he could have the promise of a normal life. I was also afraid someone would come looking for us… someday."

"I would like to meet him. That is, if it's ok with you." Again, not what he expected to come out of his mouth.

At this, she frowned and fidgeted. "You don't owe us anything, Fire Lord Zuko. I appreciate the job offer, but we're very comfortable here. Your uncle has taken good care of us."

"Uncle?" His voice squeaked with surprise. _The benefactor_.

"Oh! I thought you knew, sorry." She looked away, a redness rising to her cheeks.

"I didn't. But it doesn't surprise me. He's good at taking care of people." _And cleaning up Ozai's messes._

"The nanny brings him by for lunch. You can meet him then." With that, she collected the breakfast dishes and disappeared through the kitchen door.

Five minutes later, Katara came down the staircase. "Did I miss breakfast?"

"There you are, sleepyhead." Zuko smiled at the disheveled sight of his girlfriend still fresh out of bed.

"I slept great! Like I haven't slept in ages." She stretched and yawned.

Zuko furrowed his brow. "You probably haven't since you've been with me."

She poked him in the ribs. She was always playful in the mornings. "Since I missed breakfast, wanna walk around town? Are there any fruit stalls?"

"Sure, we can get some fruit. I'd rather head to the waterfront if you don't mind. To clear my head a bit."

"Me? The sea? Be ready in ten."

* * *

 **A/N:** I had to look up the name and backstory of Lin myself from DBD, so I don't blame readers for not remembering. She's Ozai's mistress after Ursa left, presumably attractive to him because of her likeness to his wife. She worked in the palace as a servant, and the gardener revealed that Ozai pursued her in retaliation to the news about Ursa and Dr. Jung. She bears the same scars as Ursa, so therefore underwent the same torture. In DBD, Iroh regrettably brings her in for her testimony which serves to exonerate Ursa from her "crimes" of dishonorable conduct and abandonment of her duties and family. (Ursa's participation in the murder of Azulon is based on suspicion only.)

The idea that Ozai has a "bastard" somewhere is a little too much of a crossover from King Robert/Game of Thrones for me. (Will Gendry make a comeback?) Plus, I've seen it elsewhere in ATLA fanfiction, so in my mind, it's a bit overdone. I ended up here by accident, actually. (It's funny how that can happen in writing sometimes.) I did it because I like torturing Zuko. Haha! No really, I wanted to explore this idea that even though Zuko is trying to run away from his problems, some new secret seems to come up at every turn. He simply cannot get away. But perhaps he will be able to see that amidst all the pain and suffering, there can still be goodness and hope in people—like the innkeeper who offers a listening ear to those who are troubled; like Uncle Iroh who cares for the abandoned as if they were his own; and like little Lee, proof that something beautiful can come out of the darkest of situations and not all childhood innocence has been lost.


	21. Finally Letting Go

Zuko told Katara all about Lin and Lee. Even though he was reluctant at first, he always felt better when he talked to her. And for the time being, it was easier to talk about this than other secrets that had recently been revealed to him—ones he had yet to fully accept.

"It's kinda crazy that here I was running away from my problems at the palace only to run right into another one." He sighed.

"It doesn't sound like they're a _problem_ , though. Another twist in your family story, perhaps." Katara dipped a toe in the water and leaned into Zuko as they sat side by side on the pier.

"Yeah, but how do I make sure their story has a happy ending?"

"Zuko, you can't take responsibility for everything your father did."

"But they're f-f-family!"

"And you said Uncle is taking care of them. What more do you think you should do?"

"I don't know."

They sat in silence and watched the gentle ripple of the waves. Normally Zuko would find this to be peaceful, their quietness companionable, and her presence calming. But he knew he had more to say. It was pulling at his insides... or maybe it was pushing, like the tides. Regardless, being near the water hadn't provided the comfort he'd expected, yet he wasn't sure how to face going back to the palace, either.

"I did something yesterday that I'm ashamed of. I'm not sure what to do now," he started.

"Did you hurt somebody?"

"No. But I wanted to."

"Do you still want to?"

"I don't know."

"What happened?"

"I found out about Dr. Jung. And my mother. The Joo Dees. All of it."

"Zuko…"

"I was the one who brought him here. _I'm_ even having sessions with him, and he turned out to be… how could he…" Zuko made a frustrated gesture with his fist.

"Zuko, you have to understand that he thought he was helping your mother. He was trying to get rid of her pain. When there's just so much pain, though, you almost have to get rid of… everything. I'm _not_ defending him. But I think that's how he saw it."

"But, if he hadn't… if she hadn't… wait, you knew?"

"Zuko, I…" Katara searched for the right words as she took in the hurt expression on his face. "It wasn't my story to tell. I thought your mother would…" She took a deep breath. "Anyway, I think it was his version of giving her a happy ending to her story. He thought the only way was to give her a new beginning. I don't think he meant for everything that happened with the Dai Li…"

Zuko nodded. To some degree he could accept that explanation. Erasing sounded so much easier than facing anyway. _But Dr. Jung took advantage of her when she was most vulnerable._ His jaw clinched. "I went looking for him, but he wasn't in his office. I…burned half his books before I realized what I was doing. I stopped when I found…"

"What Zuko?"

"I haven't read it. I _can't_."

"What is it?"

"Dr. Jung is not the real enemy here. He… maybe you're right, he was trying to help. But he shouldn't have had to… it wouldn't have been necessary… she wouldn't even _be_ there…if it hadn't been for…" He pinched the bridge of his nose. His inability to complete a sentence reflected his disjointed thoughts.

"Spirits, Zuko, you're father is a sick monster, but you can't change what he did or dwell on the past anymore. Move forward, leave him behind."

"I found her dream journal."

"Oh, Zuko. Don't. Nothing good can come from that. What did you do with it?"

"It's in my office. What should I do? Burn it?"

"Give it back to Dr. Jung."

"Why does he need it? Doesn't he want her to forget all that? Why does he need a record of it?"

"I don't know! Maybe he uses it when he's reading yours, like for comparisons or something. Maybe it's just good to have on hand for medical reference."

"My mother is NOT some case study. She is a real person whom he claims to love. Although he would just erase her memories like she's some medical experiment. I overestimated him. He should leave. I should send him back to Ba Sing Se."

"Zuko, what about Azula?"

"What about her?"

"Has he been able to help her? What happens to her if he leaves? Will they lose any progress she's made? Your mother didn't want him to stay, either, but she said he was the best for helping Azula."

"I don't care!"

"Don't you think Azula deserves a happy ending, too?"

"Did it ever occur to you that with my family, there is no such thing?" With that, Zuko pushed himself to his feet and stormed back toward the inn.

* * *

Katara gasped when she saw three-year-old Lee. The resemblance was unmistakable, disturbing even. Like she was literally looking into the face of a young, _unscarred_ Zuko.

"Your eyes look like the ocean!" the boy exclaimed.

"Thank you," Katara said. "Your eyes look like the sun."

"Mommy says that, too."

"Hi, Lin, I'm Katara. I'm not sure if we officially met yesterday." She bowed to the woman. _Who looks a lot like Ursa. OK, this is just creepy._

"Yes, thank you for your help." Lin returned the gesture.

"Hey!" Lee pointed at Zuko's face. "Mommy has marks like those on her—"

"Shhhhhh. Lee! It's not nice to say anything about—" Lin cupped a hand over the child's mouth.

"It's OK," Zuko said. He squatted down so he was at eye-level with Lee. "I got this in a fight once. If your mom has one, too, then she must be a very brave woman."

Katara felt Lin's blood go cold again. She had never known someone to literally become frozen by fear.

Lee nodded and pushed his mother's hand away. "Can you do the fire?"

"I can," Zuko replied. "Can you?"

"No," he pouted. "I like the fire. But I think it scares mommy."

"Fire can be scary if it is used for the wrong reasons." Zuko eyed the boy with some concern. "But it can also be helpful. Like it can keep you warm. Cook your food."

"Make tea! Mommy likes tea!"

"Hehe, I do, too. My uncle makes the best tea." Zuko smiled at the thought of Iroh meeting Lee and vowed that he would make it happen someday.

"What's an uncle?" Lee asked.

"Oh, it's your father's brother," Zuko answered automatically.

"Oh." Lee suddenly looked downcast. "I don't have a father."

Katara sensed the boiling sensation in Zuko's blood.

"You know what? I don't have a father, either. But I have lots of other people who take good care of me. And I bet you do, too."

"Yeah. Mommy and Nanny. And Magoo."

"Who?" Zuko and Katara asked in unison.

"Magoo. He's my kitaroo."

"Oooh! I saw one of those once. Can he jump really high?" Katara took Lee's hand and started leading him toward the house.

"Would you care for some tea?" Lin looked back at Zuko.

"Sure, I'll be there in a second."

Zuko let out a combined choke and a sob. It was one of those emotions that he had a hard time describing. There was something about what he had just said, though. _I don't have a father, either._

It was true. Ozai had never been a father to him. Lee was only tied to the former Fire Lord by blood, yet had never met his father or knew what the man was capable of—what he had done. _Katara is right. I am not bound to him any more than a bastard child would be. It's time to leave him behind. To let him go._

* * *

A few days later, Zuko took solace in an unusually quiet morning as far as Fire Lording responsibilities were concerned. He had a little bit of time in between meetings and no inclination toward the growing mountain of paperwork. He sat by the turtleduck pond instead thinking about all the things he had discovered in the past few days. Reports from a former spy revealed that in his mother's efforts to save him, she had actually doomed him. A child—his brother—was the result of his father's treachery, sparked by his mother's infidelity. And then the doctor— _her lover_ —who had said he could heal them all, confessed that he was at a loss for answers.

"Zuko?" Ursa made daily visits to the turtleduck pond herself, so it was only a matter of time before she would arrive there. Zuko couldn't decide if he had planned for this or not.

"Yes, Mom." He answered her but kept his eyes closed. He found the sounds of the ducks' splashing soothing and the winter breeze refreshing. If he opened his eyes, though, he might have to face the day— _the truth._

She sat down beside him. "I've always loved the winter in the Fire Nation."

"Hmm." _I've always hated it._

"Of course, it's when you were born."

 _Yes, lucky me._ Zuko sighed.

"I just saw Dr. Jung off. He's going to Ba Sing Se for a few weeks."

"Yes, I know. I saw him yesterday."

"His office was a mess! Some accident with a candle that tipped over, he said. It's a shame he lost half his books, though."

Zuko's eyes shot open. "He…said that's what happened?"

"Well…" Zuko saw in her expression that she knew. They studied each other's faces as if trying to read one another's thoughts. Then she said, "Zuko, why didn't you tell me you were seeing him?"

"I… don't know." _Why didn't you tell me he erased your memories?_

"Is it helping?"

"I don't know." _No, I'm a hopeless case._

"Well, at some point when he was helping me, things got… complicated. So, I hope he has more success with you."

 _Should I tell her that her little fling sent my father into a jealous rage, and that he used me as bait to lure her back here?_ He closed his eyes again.

"Zuko, you seem really down. Is there anything I can do?"

"I'll be fine, Mom. It's just been a rough few days, that's all." _If I say it out loud, maybe I will believe it. Everything will be ok._

"OK." She lifted a hand toward him, to do what he wasn't sure, but she decided to pull it back instead. "There's always hope, Zuko. The plants may seem dead in the cold of winter, but they're just dormant. They wait for the first ray of sunshine, and then new growth begins."

 _Hope. Ray of sunshine. Should I tell her about Lee?_

Zuko decided not to, but just thinking of the golden-eyed boy made him feel better.

* * *

"Greetings, Fire Lord. Wasn't expecting to see you again so soon. Escaping the pressures of palace life?" The innkeeper began pouring a cup of tea for their midday visitor.

"In a sense," Zuko said. "Is Lin around?"

"Oh, you think she makes better tea than me, do you?" The innkeeper smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Lin, someone is here to see you!"

She emerged from the kitchen wearing an apron and an expression that Zuko couldn't quite read. She wasn't surprised to see him, but she wasn't pleased, either.

"Fire Lord Zuko." She bowed.

"I…uh… will Lee be coming by for lunch today?" he asked.

"Um, no, not today. He's fallen a bit ill."

"Oh, no! What's the matter?"

"It's nothing, really. Just the sniffles. You know how kids are in the winter. His nanny thought it best he stay home today. He protested, actually. He's pretty strong-willed."

"Katara, she's a healer. She works in the royal hospital. I can have her take a look at him," Zuko offered.

"It's OK. He'll be fine."

"I…uh…OK." Zuko now felt awkward. He knew he shouldn't have come. The realization hit him mere seconds before the sting of her words did.

"Fire Lord Zuko, I… I'm sure you can do whatever you please, and I'm powerless to stop you, but can I make a request?"

"Of course. Anything." _I will not exert my power over you. Please don't see me like him._

"I just want a quiet normal life. For Lee."

"Of course." _Without me in it._

"He would be confused. He doesn't know who you are now, but he will. And you draw so much attention. It's nothing personal."

 _It's very personal._ "I understand."

"He's all I have. He's what I cling to. He's my hope."

"He gives me hope, too."

At this, she broke. And Zuko felt renewed anger and hatred for his father burn inside him. The same anger that Dr. Jung said would turn him _into_ his father, no doubt. A form of hatred that made him feel like he's losing control, so perhaps that's why his father worked so hard to always maintain control. _It must be a cycle. Anger. Hate. Control.  
_

Through tears she continued, oblivious to the fiery rage that flowed through his blood. "He doesn't know the pain that we do. He didn't even know that my scars were significant… until he saw yours." She shuddered. "I have to shield him from it. He can never know."

The idea that a child of Ozai's could truly be free was enough to calm him, at least in that moment, despite the guilt and desperation he felt. "I wouldn't…" He didn't know what else to say, but he didn't want to let that fleeting sense of hope go, either.

"I know you wouldn't. You're a good man, Fire Lord Zuko. But wouldn't you do the same… for your own son?"

 _My own son?_ It hadn't occurred to him until now, but his son would be in Ozai's line as well, and it was his responsibility to make sure that the same pain would never touch his own children. _I will break the cycle. So they will be free.  
_

His resolve was firm upon his revelation, and he probably shouldn't have left a crying woman so abruptly. "You're right. I'm sorry I came here, and I will not bother you again."

When he got back to the palace grounds, Katara met him at the gates.

"Zuko, I've been looking for you everywhere! Your uncle is back! And Arik is here!"

* * *

 **A/N:** Zuko does go see Dr. Jung before he leaves for Ba Sing Se, but it's not really the confrontation one might expect. That interaction can be found in _The Doctor Is In_ , Chapter 10: Farewell for Now. Dr. Jung has hit a wall, of sorts. Azula needs to reconcile with her mother in order to make progress in her own treatment, but Ursa is pretty fragile herself. Jung has made it his professional goal to rid Ursa of her pain, and he can't understand why she would willingly pursue the person who inflicted the pain in the first place. And with Zuko, he feels like they've made a breakthrough, but is bitter about his office being destroyed.

So, Zuko hit his rock-bottom low on the day in the Agni Kai arena where he faced the reality about his dreams, found out about a _new_ reality that shook his entire world, and then took out his anger by burning Dr. Jung's books. He might have done something to the doctor had he been there, and that realization scared him. He definitely doesn't trust Dr. Jung and will harbor some resentment toward him for a while. There are also some unresolved issues with his mother that they will both have to face sooner or later.

But Zuko reaches a turning point when he meets Lee. He finally catches a glimpse of hope. People would tell him that everything is going to be OK, but he needed something tangible. Seeing proof that something, _someone_ could come from the disaster that is his father and be free from him is what gives Zuko the ability to finally let it go.

He doesn't think about becoming a father himself much because the idea scares the shit out of him. But he knows it will happen according to the prophecy. Lin helps him shift his thinking from the plaguing fear of repeating his father's mistakes with his own children to _protecting them at all costs_ from this cycle of suffering that has been passed down through his family. Again, he just needed a tangible goal, a way to redirect his thinking. The true healing process has begun!


	22. Home is Where Your People Are

Laughter filled the palace dining hall, and Zuko momentarily forgot the heaviness of the past few days. Jin and Katara got along extremely well and seemed to have teamed up as surrogate big sisters to Arik who protested at their constant teasing. Zuko could already tell that the eleven-year-old had built a rapport with his uncle based on the winks and nods that were shared between the two. Ursa laughed so hard at everyone else's antics that she nearly choked on her rice wine. Zuko couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her so… happy. _So this is what family feels like._

Except someone was missing.

"Hey, where's Toph?" Zuko had noticed her absence earlier, but this was his first chance to inquire as to her whereabouts.

Iroh cleared his throat. "She's decided to stay in Two Rivers for the time being."

That would have been a completely sufficient answer for Zuko. He would definitely miss Toph and had come to think of her as family, too, but he'd also seen that she'd been a bit mopey around the palace lately. A change of scenery would be good for her. Sokka and Suki would take good care of her, no doubt. It was Arik's reaction that surprised him, however.

"Ugh, I _can't_ believe her," the boy mumbled under his breath.

"What? Was she being an insufferable brat again?" Katara's smirk quickly disappeared when she saw the look of hurt on Arik's face.

"Arik, what happened? Did Toph do something to you?" Zuko couldn't imagine what, but sometimes she lacked tact, he had to admit.

Arik slumped down in his chair. "No, not really, I guess. She's just… the best earthbender ever, that's all."

Jin quirked her brow in confusion. "And this is a problem because—"

"She's teaching my sister to metalbend, alright?" Arik snapped. "And my parents are soooooo excited about it. My stupid prodigy sister learning from the best. So Toph is living with them now. In MY room."

 _Oh._ Zuko knew all about prodigy sisters who won their parents' favor. "Hey, man. You can have Toph's room here if you want it. Fair and square."

"No way! It probably smells like stinky feet!" Arik crinkled his nose in disgust.

Iroh laughed. "How about you take Zuko's old room here in the palace then?"

"Good idea," Katara interjected. "Then Jin can have Toph's old room in the villa. She shouldn't be all alone in the Earth Kingdom Embassy. That way, we can hang out more."

"That's a good idea _in theory_ , Katara," Jin agreed. "But you're hardly ever there yourself. Either you're working or spending time with Zuko. And we all know you don't sleep there."

Katara blushed. Zuko noticed his mother was looking at her and then him with pressed lips and narrowed eyes. He'd already received the "being careful" talk from her more than once and shortly before Arik's family came to visit for the Solstice, she had given him the "keeping proper appearances" lecture.

Iroh broke the awkward silence. "Arik, I really wish you'd reconsider moving to the villa. Otherwise, I end up in a house with three women."

A sly grin crept across Ursa's face. With a flick of her fingers, she effectively charred Iroh's komodo chicken. Both uncle and nephew gaped at her while the girls tried to suppress their giggles.

"That's a cool trick!" Arik exclaimed. "Lady Ursa, will you teach me to do that?"

"Yes, Arik, we'll begin your lessons mid-morning tomorrow. I have an… appointment first thing, but I'll come get you afterward, OK?" Ursa smiled warmly.

Arik nodded excitedly, but then his eyes went wide. "Lady Ursa, your…"

Ursa shrieked as her soup started to boil over the sides of the bowl. Before it had a chance to drip off the table and onto her lap, Katara managed to freeze the broth in its tracks. Then they both glared at Iroh who was caught in a fit of silent laughter.

Ursa downed her wine in one gulp. "Oh, you are gonna get it now, General!"

Zuko had never seen this carefree and playful side of his mother. Or well, he had vague memories of when she used to tickle him, but he felt like a lot of his happy childhood memories had been overshadowed by the not-so-happy ones. He watched in a sort of dazed stupor as a food fight broke out around him. But when Katara splashed him in the face with soy sauce, he readily joined in on the fun.

* * *

When dinner was over and the laughter had faded, Zuko found himself alone in his office with his troubled thoughts and piles of paperwork. He shuffled through the stacks on his desk, but knew the recent days' events were too heavy and the current hour too late for him to get any real work done. He rummaged through the liquor cabinet before settling on his usual, an Earth Kingdom whiskey. It was funny how the innkeeper had pegged him on it. Old people just seemed to have a sense of these things. Life, love, liquor…

For the meantime, he'd pushed the words of the gardener out of his mind. His father was best left to rot in prison, Dr. Jung was away in Ba Sing Se, and his mother remained blissfully ignorant of such secrets as far as he could tell. He wasn't sure what to _do_ with the information, and it certainly didn't make him feel better or worse, so it seemed best not to dwell on it either way.

He'd almost indulged the idea of having a brother, though, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't grieving the loss of someone he barely knew. There was something about the innocent, _perfect_ face of Lee combined with the sadness in the boy's voice that made Zuko want to protect him, to show him that he really didn't need a father to be whole. It _had_ to be true, otherwise, all hope was lost… for the both of them.

Then, there was Arik. Another fighter against the odds. And in all honestly, Zuko saw himself more in that boy than his look-a-like half-brother anyway. Conversations at dinner confirmed that the eleven-year-old felt at ease among his family and friends. For this, Zuko was grateful. The food fight eventually gave way to a sparring session, and Zuko could tell that Arik was so eager to learn. He was unsure of how to define it, but he already cherished their budding relationship.

Zuko sipped the last of his whiskey when he heard a faint knock on his office door.

"Arik, it's late. What are you doing here?"

"I c-c-can't sleep. The guard said I'd find you here."

"OK, fine. Come in, then."

Arik gave the room a cursory glance, then plopped down in a chair. "So this is where you do all your Fire Lording stuff?"

"I guess."

"It's not a very exciting place."

"Fire Lording is not a very exciting job."

"It's not?"

"Look, Arik. I don't know anything about appropriate bedtimes for kids your age, but shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"I _told_ you. I can't."

"Right. And why not?"

"It's uhhh…"

Arik's eyes darted around nervously as if avoiding the question. Zuko panicked at the possible explanation. _I can't help you if you've had a nightmare._

"The room," Arik said. "It's too big… or something. Or just different. I dunno."

"I think I know what you mean." Zuko breathed a sigh of relief. "It used to be my room when I was your age. Sometimes I couldn't sleep, either."

"Really?"

"You know, my friend, Aang just stayed in there recently. Have you met him? The Avatar?"

"I did, yes. He came to Two Rivers."

"I think I have an idea for something that will help you, then. Something Aang gave me to help me sleep better."

Zuko instructed the guard to take Arik back to his room. A few minutes later, he met the boy there with a set of wind chimes. He didn't necessarily want to give up his birthday gift from Aang, but they weren't helping with his nightmares anyway. And if they could help Arik, then he knew his friend would approve. Zuko opened the window, hung the wind chimes, and stood back to listen to their music.

"It sounds nice, but won't I catch cold with the window open?" Arik asked.

"Seriously? You're a firebender. You don't get cold."

"Wow. My mom would never say that."

"Arik, I'm _not_ your mother. Now, go to sleep."

"She _would_ say that."

Zuko laughed and waved a hand to extinguish the lanterns in the room. When he got to the doorway, though, a thought struck him. "Arik, do you miss her?"

"Huh?"

"Your mother."

"No. Why?"

"Oh. I just thought maybe…. Nevermind. Goodnight."

Zuko had been exactly Arik's age when his mother left him, and he remembered missing her so much that it ached. Perhaps Arik wasn't that close to his mother. Or maybe the fact that he _could_ see her if he wanted to made it better. Zuko then decided that since his own mother was here now, he would cherish their time together. Even though the secrets the gardener had revealed seemed devastating, _embittering_ , even, he didn't want to hold any of that against her. He wanted to see her smile and laugh more. He wished she could live simple carefree days filled with walks in the garden, talks by the turtleduck pond, and… food fights at dinner… if that's what made her happy.

* * *

Happiness for Ursa, however, was limited to such fleeting moments. Zuko saw a completely different side of her when he stopped by to observe Arik's lesson the next morning. As soon as he made eye contact with the young firebender, he could tell something was wrong. She was leading him through simple breathing exercises, but her own breathing was erratic and her voice kept wavering. Ursa hadn't noticed Zuko, yet, so he stood back and watched despite Arik's silent pleas for him to intervene.

So the boy decided to take matters into his own hands. "Lady Ursa, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she snapped. "Now, concentrate!"

"If you're not… feeling up to… then we can…?" Arik shrugged.

"Don't lift your shoulders like that! Posture is key to optimal breathing!"

Arik rolled his eyes. Zuko winced. He knew she hated that.

"Ungrateful child," she grumbled. "Don't you see that I tried to be there for you? I did the best I could considering the circumstances."

Zuko then realized that she was not talking to or about Arik anymore. He took a few steps toward her, but she still didn't acknowledge him.

"Umm, Lady Ursa?" Arik shot Zuko a combined look of worry and fear. With her last statement, she had started shaking.

"How could I teach you if you wouldn't listen!?" she wailed. "How can you possibly blame me for what _he_ did to you!?"

Zuko made it over to her just in time to catch her fall. She collapsed into his arms while her whole body convulsed with her sobbing. At first Zuko thought maybe she had gone to see his father again. But then he remembered. She was scheduled to have sessions with Azula in Dr. Jung's absence. It must not have gone well.

"Arik, go get…" _Who? Uncle? Katara? Dr. Yang?_ "Jin. Can you find Jin for me?"

Zuko instructed Jin to make a mild sun poppy tea for Ursa. Not something to knock her out, just something to calm her nerves. In the meantime, he held his mother tightly while she cried and kept saying over and over, "It's all my fault."

"It's not your fault, Mom," he said. "You were right to blame _him._ It's _his_ fault."

She shook her head. "Azula," she choked. "I f-failed Azula."

"No, Mom. _He_ failed Azula. She can't see it, yet, because she's still caught up in his lies."

"I should have shown her the truth."

"Mom, she was nine when you left. We weren't old enough to handle the truth."

Ursa shuddered at her next confession. "I should have never left."

Zuko didn't know exactly what to say to that because he never fully understood why she had to leave. But he had promised himself to let that resentment go, so he said, "But you came back."

Jin brought back the tea and shortly after drinking it, Ursa fell asleep. Jin shrugged. "Whoops. I guess I made it too strong?"

Zuko had forgotten about his Uncle Cheng, but the Colonel had appointed himself as Ursa's personal guard. The man came back from his morning break, received the report about what happened, expressed his grave concern on the matter, and then carried the sleeping woman back to her room. Then Zuko remembered that Arik had returned with Jin and was simply standing idly nearby.

"Oh, hey, sorry kid. Your lesson kinda got cut short." Zuko supposed he would need to find a new teacher for Arik. He hadn't realized how unstable his mother had become. "So, uhh, I have swordfighting lessons in an hour if you'd like to join. Then later I take firebending lessons myself. We can ask Master Jeong Jeong if he can teach you, too."

Arik just stared at him with the same wide-eyed expression he'd held since Ursa had lost it.

"Arik, say something." Zuko waved a hand in front of the boy's face.

"Your mom… is she… broken?"

 _Oh spirits, kid, why?_ Zuko fought back tears. He'd done so well to keep it together until now. "Umm, yeah, you could say that. But the important thing is that she's _home_ now."

"My mom says home is not about the place, it's about the people," Arik said.

"Makes sense." Zuko wiped his eyes on the back of his sleeve in an attempt to at least appear strong in front of the kid.

"Not to me," Arik continued. "It doesn't seem to be about either. I don't know where I belong, Earth Kingdom or Fire Nation or who I belong with, really. My family never made me feel at home."

"Then maybe you haven't found your people, yet." Zuko remembered the words Hakoda had said to him about finding new people. And looking out for each other. He may not know how to fix his mother's brokenness, but they were each other's _people_ , this was their _home_ , and he would hold her while she cried for as long as she needed him to—because this is where he _belonged_.

The boy shrugged again. He did that a lot, Zuko noticed.

"And when you find your people, Arik, then you'll be home."

* * *

"We're almost out of Roaring Panda!" Katara pouted as she eyed the contents of the bottle.

"We? You're the only one who drinks it." Zuko pushed a pile of paperwork to the corner of his desk. _And go ahead and drink up. Because I am done with work for today and ready to work you._

Katara couldn't exactly read his thoughts from the simple smirk he gave her. The act of rearranging things on his desk didn't quite serve as the cue he had intended.

"Whose is it anyway?" If Katara hadn't already been feeling a little tipsy from her wine at dinner, she might have known better than to ask that question. Even still, Zuko was always calling it a "girl's drink," so it was hard for her to imagine Ozai partaking in it.

 _Mood killer._ Zuko frowned at her, picked up a quill, and began writing a letter to Nobleman Qi in the Shingzong Province. _Back to work, I guess._

Katara then realized her mistake. She retrieved shot glasses from the liquor cabinet to finish off the bottle with two final pours. She brought one over to Zuko. "What I _meant_ to say was, 'where do I get some more?'"

Zuko personally didn't like the way the liquor tasted, but he knew he would need its assistance after entertaining the notion that his father—or perhaps it was his mother—had once enjoyed the drink and its promised after-effects.

He swallowed. At first it just burned the back of his throat, but it wasn't long before he felt the burning sensation all over. He remembered now another reason why he didn't like the Roaring Panda. It intensified the fieriness that he often felt when he was frustrated or angry. He feared it would make him lose control. At this thought, a whole new set of unbidden ideas about what could have happened between his mother and father surfaced. He tried to steady his breathing as he considered what might be written in his mother's dream journal which he had stowed away in a bottom drawer for the time being.

"Zuko?" Katara coaxed him back to reality. "Are you OK? You look a little flush. Are you… feeling the drink already?" Her voice was low and heady when she said the last part. She took a long sip of her liquor, slipped a leg across his waist to straddle him right there in his chair, and then his mind went completely blank.

He liked it when Katara had her panda lily spirit. Because she blossomed above him, and he wilted beneath her.

"The Kit-n-Kindle," he managed in between hot desperate kisses.

"What?" She leaned back to look at him, and he took this opportunity to start working at the ties and fasteners of her clothes.

"It's a… sex shop. In the Caldera. It's where you buy the Roaring Panda."

"And how would you know about this place, _Fire Lord_?" she teased.

 _Another mood killer._ "Uncle told me about it," he squeaked.

She sat there in his lap, half-dressed and lost in thought for a few minutes. Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering if they were done for the night.

"Can I just… go there?" she finally asked.

"Well, maybe not by yourself. It's not in the best part of town," Zuko replied. "And we can't go together… it won't… look good."

"I know, I know." She sighed. Just as she was about to redirect her attention to taking off _his_ clothes, she lit up. "I'll take Jin!"

Zuko groaned. That idea sounded like trouble.

"What? It'll be fun!"

"But Jin doesn't even have a boyfriend to buy for." Zuko's initial feeling of guilt at this statement was followed by a very unexpected line of thinking. One that was definitely not a mood killer. _Katara and Jin in a sex shop… Katara and Jin… sex… I'm not into that sort of thing, but how would a threesome...  
_

"Zuko? Hello? Where'd you go?" Katara was used to him getting lost in thought like this, but she couldn't help but be curious this time. She'd _felt_ his pants tighten in response to whatever it was.

"Uhh, sorry."

"I was saying… we need to get a wedding gift for King Kuei and Queen Song."

"Oh." Zuko tugged at the collar of his tunic. He was definitely feeling things now. "They wouldn't like the Roaring Panda I d-don't think. Besides Ba Sing Se has its own shop… it's even bigger… c-called the Bump-n-Grind… or something like that."

The look Katara gave him just then was reminiscent of the scolding one his mother had given him at dinner the night before. That would also be a mood killer if he wasn't already too far gone. If Katara was just going to talk and not initiate, then he needed to take matters into his own hands. He started by freeing himself from his own pants since they had become quite _restricting_.

"Did you know that Kuei and Song have never… well… you know?"

 _Yup, she's still talking._ He skillfully removed her bindings. "No, I don't know what you're talking about."

"What would you get someone for their first time?"

 _Just shut up, Katara._ She gasped when he took a nipple in his mouth, teasing with tongue and teeth.

"I mean, I thought the Roaring Panda would be good because it kinda helps you let go of your inhibitions."

 _Is that what this is?_ Zuko lifted her up from the chair, slammed her onto his desk, and started pounding into her hard and fast. Her eyes went wide at the forcefulness of it. He was usually so gentle. The only time he was rough was in response to her demands. It wasn't that she didn't like it. It was just so different. And unexpected.

"Are you done talking, Katara?" he panted.

"Mmm-mm."

"Good. Because now I want to hear you scream."

* * *

 **A/N:** OK, there are a few different things going on in this last scene. First, it's me getting a little more bold? comfortable? explicit? in writing about such stuff. For you, probably not a big deal. For me, it kinda is. Also, guess who else is getting bold? OK, well, they both are, but the important thing about Zuko being a little more forceful here is that he's letting go of his fear of being like his father. Because before he would have been hesitant to give in to certain urges for fear of either losing control or hurting Katara.

She likes it, though. Giving it and taking it. Call it more growing _pains_ in their relationship. And always consensual with Zutara.

However, you may notice that they're not exactly communicating effectively in this scene. Zuko is thinking things but not saying them, and Katara is talking without caring that he's not engaged. This is probably a typical scenario for the end of a long stressful day, so I'm just putting it out there as reality for any relationship. Communication is hard, but _so_ essential.

Aaaaand speaking of reality, Zuko is an 18-year-old young man, and he just hired his ex-girlfriend (of sorts) to be his secretary. Umm, this could be a little compromising for him, eh? Katara is not jealous anymore because she's declared Jin as her new bestie. Zuko thinks this is cool since Katara likes having a girl her own age around, but seeing them together weirds him out sometimes. And thinking about them together... with him... and then...

No, there will not be any threesomes. And no, Zuko will not cheat on Katara with Jin. I'm not into character death, remember? This is just Zutara being authentic. They're not perfect. They will have vulnerabilities and misunderstandings. And then lots of hot make-up sex. Haha!


	23. Compare and Contrast

Zuko awoke the next morning disoriented but not for the usual nightmare-induced reason. It took him a while to figure out why he was staring at the underside of his desk, but then a contented sigh and a shift in the legs that were entangled with his gave him a clue. He rubbed the back of his neck and then propped himself up on an elbow to look at her. It was definitely not the most comfortable place to sleep, but she appeared to be doing just that, very peacefully, with lips slightly parted and her chest rising with each even breath.

His own body swelled with appreciation as he drank hers in. She was beautiful, _intoxicating_ —and he didn't need the aid of alcohol to abandon himself to her. He could feel desire flowing in his blood, but also something else. The sun was up. Which meant this moment wasn't going to last long before the daily demands of being Fire Lord would tear him from her. _Can I get away with hiding under my desk all day? With her. Like this._

She sighed again and rolled over to her side, but he saw her wince in pain as she did. He then noticed the bruises he'd made on her hips. Surprisingly, though, it didn't bother him. He _knew_ that she had risen to meet him the night before. He remembered that she had seemed shocked at first, but she never looked afraid. They had been together through all of it just as they always were. She'd even marked him before. Besides, she could heal herself. He would never make that an excuse, but in this case, it was pretty convenient.

Her eyes fluttered open to meet his gaze of complete adoration. She smiled. "Hey, you. Whatcha thinkin' about?"

He reached over and ran a finger down the length of her side. "About how I wish I could stay here all day like this."

She shivered under his touch. "Mmm. Would be nice. Maybe we could at least have breakfast together."

"I'm not sure if there's time for breakfast. There's barely even time for tea."

She pushed herself out from under the desk to a seated position and stretched her arms above her head. Zuko watched the contours of her body as she did this, his eyes intense. She noticed. "So, _Fire Lord_. How do you like your tea in the morning? Do you like it mild and sweet?" She raised an eyebrow. "Or… bold and strong?"

Zuko knew exactly how he wanted to respond. No pain this time. All pleasure. He gently lifted her from the floor and positioned her in his chair. Kneeling in front of her, he placed a soft kiss on the inside of one of her thighs. "I like it smooth..." A kiss on the other thigh. "Dark…" He hovered in the center, his breath hot as he spoke. "And full of flavor."

Katara hooked her elbows around the armrests of the chair, bracing herself for what would come next. Zuko had barely made one pass with his tongue when Jin burst through the door. His reflexes were quick as he ducked back under the desk and tossed his Fire Lord robe up to Katara to cover herself.

"Uhh, hi Jin." Katara's voice was an octave higher than normal.

Jin stood frozen for a minute while her blush spread across her cheeks and to the tips of her ears. Then she promptly turned on her heel and walked out, calling over her shoulder, "Tell Zuko he has a meeting in ten minutes."

Katara draped the robe across her shoulders and pushed her arms through the sleeves. She could hear Zuko's heavy breathing from under the desk which matched the quickened pace of her own heartbeat. Almost getting caught was kind of… _exhilarating_. _Ten minutes, eh?_ Katara wheeled the chair over in front of the desk, straightened her back, and spoke in her best official-sounding voice. "So, for my first act as Fire Lord, I command— _ohhhhhhh_ …"

Zuko wasn't sure what her orders were going to be, but he had started something, and he planned to finish it. After one flick of his tongue, he looked up at her to gauge her reaction. _Perfect._ "Fire Lady Katara, I am your loyal subject."

It was Iroh who interrupted next. Katara didn't quite have the lightening reflexes that her boyfriend did. She quickly closed the gap in the robe across her chest and snapped her knees together, catching Zuko's head in between them. When he jerked away, he hit his head on the underside of the desk. Somehow this was _not_ exhilarating.

Iroh heard the _thunk_ followed by his nephew's curse. Then it was Katara's turn to blush, wishing she could disappear under the desk, too, but Iroh had already pinned her with a look of…what was it? _Wait, is he… laughing?_

After a few hearty chuckles, Iroh cleared his throat. "Ah, Ambassador Katara… or should I say, Fire Lady Katara? Have you seen my nephew, by chance?"

"He's a bit, uhh, indisposed at the moment," was her high-pitched answer.

"I see. Well, if you happen to… _bump into him_ , will you let him know not to miss the council meeting this morning? We're voting to _erect_ Shyu as High Sage. Please tell him that it's important for him to _insert himself_ in this meeting so that we can finally bring this decision to its _climax."_

"Um, ok," Katara squeaked.

"Thank you. I hope it won't be too _hard on_ him to try and _come._ " Iroh nodded with satisfaction when he heard a groan from under the desk. After he left, his laughter could be heard from down the hallway.

Katara let out the breath she'd been holding. "Zuko, when you said it was your uncle who told you about the sex shop… I thought…you were kidding."

* * *

Zuko thought maybe there was a daily limit to how much embarrassment one could experience, but as the day pressed on, he decided that there wasn't, at least not for him, anyway. It was bad enough that his uncle had continued his not-so-subtle innuendos throughout the council meeting. The young Fire Lord was _trying_ to be reverent and spiritual, even, when it came to the appointment of the new High Sage. Since Shyu had requested this approach, he felt he should honor it. Zuko wasn't sure why his uncle thought the legend of how the islands were formed by fertility goddesses was somehow relevant.

Afterward, he tried to get work done in his office, but it was hard not to think about Katara. Perhaps they needed to move things back to the bedroom if he was going to be so distracted in here. _But damn… the way she screamed…and how it echoed…_ He leaned back in his chair to look at the bare drab walls. _Hmm... maybe I should redecorate?_

There was a knock at the door. _Finally! Someone knocks!_

Jeong Jeong marched in with Arik at his heels. Neither looked very happy.

"I cannot teach the boy," Jeong Jeong barked. "He is not ready."

"Of course I'm ready! I've been firebending since I was four years old!" Arik protested.

"He lacks discipline. And respect. He must learn those things before he can learn to deal with fire." The master delivered his words to Zuko, but Arik's temper began to rise as the man spoke.

"He's making me burn leaves!" Arik bellowed. "I already know how to burn leaves. And what's the point of that?"

Zuko remembered that he had found Arik up in a tree burning leaves the first time he met him. But the young firebender wasn't doing it to maintain control, however. He was doing it because he felt out of control.

Jeong Jeong then turned to face the boy. "I told you the reason is _discipline._ But you refuse to listen. This is why I cannot teach you." With that, the master stormed out.

Arik let out a noise of frustration and plopped down in the chair in front of Zuko's desk. "What am I supposed to do now?"

"Umm… apologize?" Zuko would be hard pressed to find another teacher for him.

"Ugh, I hate this place."

"What? Why?"

Arik looked a little rueful, but continued, "Welllllll, Lady Ursa sorta freaked out yesterday. And Master Jeong Jeong is just a freak. And I thought you were pretty cool, but…" He glanced away as he trailed off.

"But, what? Arik, I'm just trying to help. What did _I_ do?"

Arik closed his eyes and sighed. "Umm, so I couldn't sleep again last night…"

 _Oh, no._

"I came here but someone was… screaming. So, I left. But it kinda sounded like… Miss Katara? Umm, I'm not sure what—"

"Sparring. We were just, uhh, sparring. I wasn't hurting her, she just gets a little… excited? Sometimes." _What a lame ass story. He'll never buy it._

Arik looked instantly relieved. "Ohhh. OK. That makes sense." He furrowed his brow in thought. "So when she yells 'don't stop' and 'harder,' that's like her way of taunting you… or something?"

 _Yeah, something like that._ "I guess."

"My sister does that sometimes when we're fighting. She tries to get me to fight back more so that I'll get in trouble with Mom."

 _No, no, not the same._ "Sisters can be annoying… yeah." Zuko knew he needed to redirect this conversation. "So, since you missed another firebending lesson, do you want to do some sparring now? I've got a little time before swordfighitng with Piandao."

"Spar? With you? No way."

* * *

Later that afternoon, Zuko was back in his office. He rubbed his sore neck while sorting through the meeting notes Jin had prepared for him before she left for the Caldera with Katara. Occasionally his thoughts drifted toward thoughts about _them_ , but he strained to keep focus. The day had already been plagued by a series of diversions, but if one thing remained constant, it was the incessant workload.

"Come in," he said to the faint knock at his door.

"Sorry to disturb you, but a package was just delivered for you." Jin tiptoed in and placed a bundle on his desk.

"You guys are back already?" Zuko asked.

"Yes. Is there anything you need me to do?"

Zuko really wanted a neck massage but figured that would be inappropriate to ask her. "Umm, yeah. I'm kinda swamped with work. Would you mind bringing some dinner?"

When Jin came back, she eyed his desk curiously after placing a tray of food down in front of Zuko.

"What?"

Her cheeks pinked a little. "Don't you think a bed would be more comfortable?"

"Umm, probably." He was still thinking about his sore neck.

She shrugged. "Well, Katara was limping a little today. It's... just a suggestion."

Zuko didn't catch on until after Jin had left. _Why didn't Katara heal herself?_

He then turned his attention to the package. It was from Ba Sing Se. Most things that came from that wretched city meant trouble for him, but he opened it anyway. He did not expect to find a letter from Dr. Jung. With a renewed surge of anger toward the doctor—anger he had been trying to let go—he began shaking slightly as he read.

* * *

 _Greetings Fire Lord Zuko,_

 _I hope this letter finds you well. I apologize for the abruptness in my leaving, and I do wish we would have parted on better terms. I arrived in Ba Sing Se within a few days of Dr. Wang's passing. He has imparted all his research to me, and it is taking some time to sort through his files and books. I do not imagine that I will see you again until King Kuei's wedding._

 _While I was packing before I left, I noticed something was missing. A journal that would not have been shelved among the things that were burned, yet I did not see it among the items that remained. If you found it, by chance, and have not done so already, BURN IT. I do not advise that you read it. Those memories are not even worth the ashes they would leave behind much less the flames they would ignite in you. I implore you to burn it, Zuko. Let it go._

 _Meanwhile I have found something that will prove to be more useful to you. I am sending Dr. Wang's notes he took while conducting a series of interviews with your uncle. Dr. Wang's predecessor was commissioned by Avatar Roku to study the Fire Nation royal family. You said yourself that your father would make a good case study. Well, it appears that someone was already studying him. These are not sessions with your uncle, simply stories he told about your family's past, so I do not feel that I am violating anyone's trust in passing this on to you._

 _I know you cherish your relationship with your uncle, so understand that this may shed him in a different light. You may want to share this information with him or let him know you have access to these notes. Or not. The choice is yours._

 _Regards,  
Dr. Jung_

* * *

Zuko read the letter a few times before finally picking up the worn leather-bound journal. He turned it over in his hands and then thumbed through its pages, taking in its earthy scent. His anger had subsided and curiosity replaced it, yet he remembered what happened the last time family secrets had been revealed to him. _Am I ready to know more? And face facts about Uncle?_

Katara didn't knock, but she didn't have to as far as he was concerned.

"What's that?" she asked.

"Oh, it's uhh… nothing." Zuko put the journal in the bottom desk drawer along with his mother's dream journal.

"Zuko. Don't read your mom's journal. If you're not going to give it back to Dr. Jung, then you should burn it."

"It's not—I won't." He could tell she wasn't convinced by the look on her face. "So, what's in the bag?"

Her face lit up. "Oh! The stuff we bought at Kit-n-Kindle. Wanna see?"

In all honesty, he wasn't in the mood. Dr. Jung's letter and the possibility of what was written in both Dr. Wang's notes and his mother's personal account was weighing heavily on him. He gave her a half-hearted smile which she took to mean _yes._

"OK, so for Kuei and Song, I got the Roaring Panda, like I said I would. And also, this." She handed him a bottle. "I just thought it would make sense… coming from you and me."

"Fire and Ice," Zuko read the label aloud. "Enjoy complementary heat and cold sensations with this water-based personal lubricant. Non-bender formula." He raised an eyebrow at her. "I wonder what the bender formula is like?"

"Well, that's the interesting part. The vendor said that Fire and Ice was traditionally designed for partners where at least one was a firebender. But the manufacturers have expanded their line to include different bending elements and appeal to nonbenders as well. He had just received some new products, so I decided to try them."

"You… _tried_ them?" Zuko had never been to the shop, but he couldn't imagine how one would go about _trying_ the merchandise. Then again, she went there with Jin, and he'd already let his imagination wander.

"Well, I mean, I bought them… so _we_ could try them," she clarified.

 _Oh. Right._

"So there's this one, called Dirty Minds, from the Earth Kingdom."

Zuko felt his pulse quicken when he took the bottle from her. "It's like a… mud bath?"

"And this one is supposed to be from the Water Tribe, but I'm honestly a bit skeptical."

"Heh. Wet Dream. That's… clever." Zuko set the bottle down on his desk next to the other two.

He then noticed Katara was giving him a funny look. "What?" he asked, fearing she had expected a certain reaction from him.

"Zuko, when was the last time you had a dream? Like one of your nightmares?"

"Oh, umm." He wasn't sure exactly, but it had been a few days at least. Then, he remembered. "I had one the night we stayed at the inn. But not since then."

"Hmm. Before that you were having them every night. I wonder what changed."

Zuko just stared at her blankly. _I have no fucking clue._

After studying him for a minute, she cleared her throat and pulled out one more item from her shopping bag. "Last thing. I got you some whiskey. Since I know you don't like the Roaring Panda."

"Spice of Life," he read. "Cinnamon and clove infused rye whiskey specially formulated to spice things up."

"Do you want to try it?" Katara crossed over toward the liquor cabinet to get shot glasses, and Zuko noticed the slight limp Jin had mentioned.

"Katara, why didn't you heal yourself?"

"Oh, I dunno. What was it you said? Not all pain is from a bad memory?"

"Yeah but that was just a bruise on my back. You're having trouble walking." _Shit, I took things too far._

"I'm fine, Zuko. Really." She set the shot glasses down on his desk, but he placed a hand over his.

"None for me, thanks. Not tonight."

"Not tonight for just drinks… or—"

"Can we… I just have a few things to finish up here, and then I'll meet you in my room. OK?" He circled around the desk and pulled her into a gentle embrace. _She feels so good like this in my arms. It wasn't worth it. I should have never…_ He sighed.

"OK, sure. I'll see you soon," she said as she gathered the items from the shop and put them back in her bag.

When she got to the doorway, he spoke, his voice raw with emotion. "Katara, I… never meant to hurt you. And I promise I won't do it again."

Her lips twisted into a sly smile followed by a pout. "You better do it again. In fact, I'm going to go heal myself right now, so I can be ready for more."

"What!?" Zuko called after her, but she was already out the door. His momentary confusion was replaced with a wave of relief. _It's OK. Really._

He poured a different kind of whiskey and settled back down at his desk with Dr. Wang's journal. The scrawled handwriting was difficult to decipher, so he waved a hand to light an extra lantern. _Maybe I'll just read a few pages and then go to Katara._

* * *

Interviews with Iroh  
By Dr. Wang

Our research has been stalled for quite some time now, but General Iroh camps just outside the walls of Ba Sing Se, and he would be as good a resource as any. I will go to him. I will offer something, myself as a war prisoner, if I have to. The ultimate goal is to know the mind of the Fire Lord and to put a stop to the madness and this war.

In the Earth Kingdom, white is a symbol of surrender. We wave a white flag, and so I choose to wear white as I approach the army's camp. In the Fire Nation apparently, it means death. They wear white to their funerals. I wonder if I am attending my own funeral. When I arrive, the General invites me to tea.

Thus begins my interviews with Iroh. I will write them as he tells them. He is warm and open and not at all what I expected. Perhaps he is his own brand of crazy.

I ask him what sort of man Fire Lord Azulon is, and for some reason, this is how he begins, "I remember the day my brother was born. I was eleven years old. Father was pacing. Mother was screaming. And then, she was _not._ I heard the baby's cries not long after, and I looked for the joy I expected to find in Father's eyes. He had gone stone cold, rigid like a statue. And then he was gone. I'm not sure if he _ever_ came back after that, honestly.

I was the first to hold Ozai. Father left without even naming him, so the midwife saw the way I would 'proudly carry' my baby brother, and that's what the name means. He was a fussy baby, but the wet nurse said any child without a mother would be. It was true that I had also lost my mother, but I felt like I had to be strong for Ozai. It seemed like he had not only lost a mother, but a father, too.

So, Fire Lord Azulon mostly withdrew behind his pillar of flames and took out his grief and anger through brutal war tactics. He eventually came around to actually acknowledging Ozai, at which point my brother threw himself at any opportunity to please Father. I was advancing in the Academy, well on my way toward my military career, so I let Ozai be. He was a talented bender and very determined. I knew Father would eventually see his potential.

But along the way, Ozai became insanely jealous as well. I was relieved when I got my first army assignment. I was tired of him competing with me for Father's attention. I was tired of the constant challenges to duels to prove his bending skills. And I was tired of the threats he made about who would be a better Fire Lord someday. He was glad to see me go, of course, content to stay by Father's side and learn what really mattered. He would study politics and war tactics and would have an edge over me. This was his strategy at the mere age of thirteen."

* * *

Zuko closed the book. It had become too much at that point. Why did Dr. Jung think this would help? By proving he was exactly like his father? _Maybe I should just burn the damn thing._

But then he remembered there was something else he was supposed to burn. His mother's dream journal. He opened the bottom drawer where he'd stashed it, pulled it out, and put Dr. Wang's journal in its place. He sat with the book in his lap for a long time just staring at it. _I will not read it. I will not read it. Just let it go._

With a flick of his wrist and a twitch of his finger, he lit a fire in the hearth opposite his desk. He poured another shot of whiskey and downed it before tossing the journal into the flames. The alcohol burned his throat while he watched the pages curl and crinkle, creating sinister tendrils of smoke. _Paper burns as easily as skin. But painful memories do not dissipate like smoke in thin air. They are with us forever. Like the scars we bear._

He did not hear her come in, but he felt her lightly kiss his forehead. _I know I don't deserve her, but I don't know what I'd do without her._ He couldn't seem to take his eyes off the fire, though. Soon his mother's words would start to smolder, mirroring the emotion that swelled inside him. Like fire beneath the surface that simply needed to be stoked in order to reignite. Like a deceptive bed of coals that still held so much heat.

"Did you burn it?" Katara asked.

"Yeah."

"Good. It's better that way. Now, come to bed. I've been waiting for you." She extended a hand to him.

He hesitated before taking it, but when he did, the coolness of her touch extinguished the flames within him. The sensation—and realization—made him almost too light-headed to stand. It could have also been the effect of the whiskey... or the heat of the fire... or the impact of yet another family secret revealed.

But one thing was suddenly crystal clear to him. He knew it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

 _I am NOT like my father at all. Because I would never, ever hurt her. Not like that._

* * *

 **A/N:** Zuko starts his morning feeling pretty confident about the night before, but then he vacillates throughout the day. Even though he knows everything is OK, and Katara assures him of this, his old fears have a tendency to creep back up. He doesn't really know details about what his father did to his mother, although if he let himself dwell on it, he could figure it out. The contrast is this: _  
_

When Zuko "marks" Katara, it is during a consensual and mutually pleasurable experience. At first, she refuses to heal her own bruises because she's kinda proud of them... or likes the reminder, in a sense. When Ozai "marks" Ursa, it's non-consensual and very one-sided in the pleasure-seeking. At first, Ursa refuses treatment for her burns out of denial and shame. When Katara screams, she says, "Don't stop," and "Harder." When Ursa screams, she says "Stop," and "Please, no pain." And both couples even have routines/schedules, but Zuko and Katara are flexible and responsive to each other's needs whereas Ozai is very rigid and controlling with his expectations.

Why point out the distinctions? Well, there's the obvious plot point that Zuko is nothing like Ozai, and he doesn't have to be afraid of becoming him, either. But generally speaking, just because they are Fire Lords doesn't mean they can do whatever they want. Just because a person is in a position of great power doesn't exempt him/her from human decency. And in relationships, even marriage, one person's will does not "trump" the other's without consideration, communication, and compromise.

So, what exactly went wrong with Ozai? Well, Dr. Wang and Iroh are going to help us figure that out with some Fire Nation backstory. Ozai and Ursa's story is presented in more detail in _Burning Passion_ which I initially intended to be a one shot, but when the ideas flow, you just gotta go with it. Sometimes I wish I didn't have _those_ kinds of ideas, though. Next up in _Rising Tide_ is Kuei and Song's wedding in Ba Sing Se, and I also have a fun chapter planned for _A Ride With A Side of Advice._


	24. Say Uncle

"Why can't I come to Ba Sing Se?" The red-faced boy crossed his arms over his chest.

Zuko let out an exasperated sigh. "We've been over this, Arik. There's the wedding and parties and dinners and meetings. It's all boring grown-up stuff."

"But everyone else is going! I don't want to stay here by myself!"

"You'll be here with Jin. She'll take care of you while we're gone."

"I don't _need_ anyone to take care of me!"

"Fine. Then, you need to focus on your training. Lady Za Je is the best. She was my teacher when I was your age."

"But she's so mean!"

"She's not mean, she's strict. And maybe it's time you took your firebending lessons more seriously."

"Whatever." Arik rolled his eyes.

Zuko was beginning to understand why his mother disliked that gesture. His patience was growing thin. "Are we done here? I need to finish packing."

"But I promise I'll be good. I won't get in the way. I'll behave," Arik pleaded.

Zuko made a noise of frustration. "Arik, there is no one to watch you. Not all the time."

"I can take care of myself. I won't get into any mischief."

"Ba Sing Se is a huge city. It wouldn't be safe."

"But I've never been there!"

"Ask Jin about it. She's from there, and she can tell you all about it."

"Not the same. It would be so cool to visit!"

"It's not… cool. It's—"

"This is SO UNFAIR. I'll show you… I'm just going to stow away. And you won't be able to find me to stop me."

Zuko pointed a scolding finger at the boy. "Arik, don't you dare! You STAY HERE and do what Jin tells you!"

"She's not my mom… and you're not my dad, you can't make me—"

"But I CARE about you, OK!? People just… disappear in Ba Sing Se. Bad things happen there. My cousin was killed there, my mother lost her mind there, and every time I go there, I feel like something bad is going to happen. I won't let anything bad happen to you... I can't…" Zuko's eyes went wide as he realized how emotional he'd become.

Arik raised his hands in resignation. "OK, OK, I'm sorry. I won't go." He sighed and looked down at the floor. "You're right. If my parents were here, they'd make me stay, too. I'm… sorry I was… disrespectful."

Zuko flattened out the fabric of his tunic as if to signify regaining his composure. "Your parents would _kill me_ if anything happened to you. I've already had two assassination attempts on my life this year, you know."

"I… I'm sorry."

"Look, Arik, I don't want to… parent you… or whatever. I'd make a lousy father anyway. But I won't apologize for looking out for you. It's what friends do."

"We're friends?" Arik lifted his head to meet Zuko's eyes.

"Of course, you dolt." It was then Zuko's turn to roll his eyes.

"OK, then, _as a friend_ , I'm telling you that I think you're wrong."

"What?"

"You'd make a great father."

"Whatever."

"Are you and Miss Katara gonna have kids?"

A few different thoughts ran through Zuko's mind. _Why am I talking about this with an eleven-year-old? Does the kid even know where babies come from? And of course, we'll have kids… the prophecy says so, doesn't it?_

"Yeah. Someday."

"Cool. Can they call me Uncle Arik?"

 _Uncle?_ Zuko then realized that he did think of Arik more like a brother than a friend.

* * *

Katara poked her head inside Zuko's office. "We're leaving soon. Are you ready?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm looking for something. Be there in a minute." Zuko waved a dismissive hand at her.

Katara normally wouldn't tolerate such a gesture from her boyfriend. She liked to remind him that she was above him exercising any Fire Lord status with her. However, she still had some last-minute packing to do herself, so she let him be.

"Where is it? Where is it? Dammit!" Zuko shuffled through the piles on his desk and opened and shut every drawer in search of the lost item—a wedding present. He had been admiring the craftsmanship just the other night before carefully wrapping it, so where did he put it?

He stopped abruptly when he opened the drawer that contained Dr. Wang's journal. In the recent busyness of setting his affairs in order before leaving for Ba Sing Se, he had forgotten about it. He couldn't say why, but a pang of insatiable curiosity tugged at him just then. Perhaps he had time to read one excerpt before it was time to go.

* * *

Interviews with Iroh  
By Dr. Wang  
Session 2

Today General Iroh serves ginseng and continues to speak about the relationship between his father and brother. It is interesting to be sure, but I don't know why it is relevant. Iroh will succeed Azulon as Fire Lord. Ozai is insignificant. However, this is Iroh's story.

"To say that my brother was troubled as a teenager is an understatement. To say that his relationship with my father was strained is even more inadequate. Whenever I came home from the warfront, I felt like I entered another war zone altogether. I tried my best to restore the peace between them even though I knew my efforts were futile.

I remember one day I came home to find my father in such a rage that he told me I had to be the one to deal with Ozai. I knew better than to remind him that I was _always_ the one to deal with Ozai. My brother had been suspended from the Academy. My father didn't know why but was simply livid at his son's act of insubordination. I pointed out that suspension wasn't expulsion, but he wouldn't hear of it. It was still _failure_ in his eyes.

I found Ozai shooting angry fireballs in the training arena. When I asked him what happened, he said the kid had it coming, and next time he wouldn't hold back—he would teach the kid a lesson in respect. He had challenged a fourth year student to an Agni Kai for mouthing off to him. Not only are Agni Kais forbidden for Academy students, but my brother was four years older than his opponent. Ozai reemphasized that he had no regrets and would do it again if he had the chance. I told him he would NOT do it again or else risk expulsion or worse—our father's wrath.

The Fire Lord's wrath then rained down on us in waves of white hot fire. Before I knew what was happening, our father had shoved Ozai to the ground, pinning him down with one hand while raising the other in a fiery fist above him. He had spoken to the master at the school, Kuyon. Father asked Ozai if he liked it when someone bigger and stronger challenged him like this. He asked him if he wanted to fight. Ozai said no. My father then kicked him in the ribs and demanded that he stand and fight for his honor, that he needed to learn respect, and suffering would be his teacher.

I saw the fire ignite in Ozai's eyes, and I knew he _would_ fight our father regardless of his slim chances at winning. I could not see this ending well at all, so I intervened. I stepped in between them, and they both warned for me to move aside or else join the fight. That was the day that I beat my aging father and my sixteen-year-old brother in a two-on-one fire duel."

* * *

"Zuko?" Iroh leaned against the door frame. "It's time to go. We're waiting for you."

Zuko quickly shoved the journal back into the bottom drawer. "OK, Uncle… I was just looking for King Kuei's present. I can't seem to find it."

Iroh stepped just inside the office and picked up a neatly wrapped package from one of the cabinets that flanked the door. "You mean this present?"

Zuko made a noise of frustration and nodded.

"Nephew, I see you have your crown secured to your topknot for a change, but is your head secured to your shoulders?"

Zuko rolled his eyes, took the package from his uncle, and put it in his bag. "OK, fine. I'm ready to go."

But Iroh continued to stand in the doorway, blocking his exit. "Zuko, are you OK?"

"I'm fine." It was half-true. He felt better these days with the full nights of sleep he had been getting. But there was always the fragile state of things—peace in the world, his mother's emotional well-being, and the haunting of his dark family past.

Iroh pulled him into an embrace, and Zuko lost it. He had no idea his own emotional well-being teetered on the edge of instability. Just when he thought he had gained some control and finally found his footing, he felt like he was falling again.

"Uncle, I thought I lost you," he murmured into the man's broad chest.

"Don't worry, nephew. It would never be tea that would take me down."

Zuko knew, however, that if it hadn't been for Katara's healing abilities combined with the spirit water, then the tea would have claimed Iroh's life despite his uncle's boasts. "I can't lose you. I won't… make it. I can't endure that kind of pain," he whispered.

Iroh shifted so that he held Zuko's shoulders and looked him square in the face. "You know that's what sets you apart, don't you? Your ability to endure great pain, yet overcome it. You face it and become stronger. You heal from it and become better."

"But I can't do it— _couldn't have_ done it without you."

"I'm not saying that you have to do it alone. That's the other thing that's different about you, Zuko. You care for other people AND you allow others to care for you. Whenever you don't have me anymore, I think you'll find there is someone else you can turn to."

Unwilling to entertain the notion of losing his uncle any more, Zuko redirected. "You keep saying I'm set apart and different. From what, exactly?"

"Not so much the what, but the _who._ There's a cycle of abusive, self-seeking, destructive relationships in our family and _you_ , Zuko, have broken it."

The words were comforting since Zuko had already come to realize there was a cycle, and he'd be damn sure to do whatever he could to break it. But had he really already broken it? "I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"Zuko, I've seen the way you are with Katara. You love her so selflessly… almost too selflessly, sometimes. And you rule our nation with integrity, listening to everything from your top advisors' rants to the lowest peasants' petitions. You are not prideful, you are humble. And if you will let it, that same humility will replace your feelings of shame."

"I… used to feel shame, but I don't as much anymore. The things that I felt ashamed about weren't really about me anyway. But that other stuff, my responsibility to Katara and my job as Fire Lord, that IS about me. Sometimes I still feel like I did back then… lost at sea. Like I know what I want, I just have no clue how to get there. That's why I can't lose you, Uncle. I need you now just like I did then."

Iroh laughed. "Nephew, it's not anything like it was back then. You're not lost at sea anymore. You're on solid ground now. Granted, we are on an island, therefore surrounded by water. Perhaps you will feel unsettled for a while, like the tide is rising and falling around you. But look to the moon because she guides the tides. And look to the sun, because each day is a new beginning. And when you feel really lost, look for the horizon, because there is always hope out there somewhere."

Zuko smiled and hugged his uncle again. He wouldn't have expected his advice to be delivered any other way.

After a few minutes of companionable silence, Iroh said, "But today we will not be on the ground or at sea. We take to the skies! The airship is ready… let's go!"


	25. City of Walls and Secrets

**A/N:** Spoiler alert - In this chapter, I reference a character that is presented in the most recently released comic book, _North and South - Part One._ I only use the character name and a little of the plot that was presented in the comic (including the "surprise" ending) but I'm putting my own interpretive spin on it.

* * *

When former warships had been converted for post-war international travel, Zuko couldn't help but see them as a bad omen. Thankfully, their trip to Ba Sing Se was uneventful and quick—it proved a much more efficient way to cover lots of ground in a short amount of time, he had to admit. But then there was Ba Sing Se. He always felt like something could go wrong in that dreadful city. Iroh had arranged for an armed guard of fifty soldiers to escort them which Zuko thought was a bit much despite his wariness of the Earth Kingdom capital. Iroh made the point that if their lives had been threatened on Ember Island—on their own soil—then all the more reason to take precaution while traveling abroad.

Because Ba Sing Se was such a densely packed city, they had to land the airship just outside the wall. It was the only place big enough to leave the vessel during their stay. Armed guards were stationed there to protect against sabotage while the rest of the unit boarded the train. As they passed through the lower ring stations, Zuko did his best to push certain memories out of his mind. He didn't regret his time as a tea server, but some of those early days as a refugee weren't his finest. Then, of course, there was the whole ordeal with Jet, including the time they got arrested together during the peace treaty negotiations.

Next to him, Katara seemed content to watch out the window, and Zuko wondered what she was thinking about—what memories Ba Sing Se might spark in her. Probably ones he'd also wish to forget, he figured. He noted the way the sunlight trickled in through the train windows and illuminated her caramel-toned skin. She wore green, and it had been a while since he'd seen her in that color. He much preferred her in blue... or red. His eyes shifted over to his mother. Ursa's countenance was stiff, with tightly pressed lips and hands folded neatly in her lap. Her pale face was stark in contrast to her Fire Nation red cloak. Zuko crossed the train to the vacant seat in between her and his uncle.

"So, you haven't been back here since…" Zuko wondered if she knew that he knew.

"I'm trying not to think about that. I just want to enjoy the wedding," she said dryly.

"I guess the real question is, how much do you remember?" The words slipped out before he could stop them.

"Zuko, I just said—wait…" She turned to look at him, eyes wide, her face even paler. "You _know_ about…?"

"I'm sorry. You're right. Let's not think about that. Let's just have a good time at the wedding," Zuko backpedaled.

"But who told you?" she urged.

"It doesn't matter." He saw that they were in the city's middle ring now, and he hoped they would be arriving soon.

"Zuko, I want to know. Katara?"

Katara shook her head. "Lady Ursa, perhaps now is not a good time. We're almost to the upper ring."

"Well, it had to be Katara who told you. I'm sure you two lovebirds tell each other everything." Ursa folded her arms across her chest in annoyance.

"Well, it's not like you swore me to secrecy!" Katara retorted.

"Ladies, it's been a long day of travel. We will all feel better once we arrive at our destination and have a bit of tea," Iroh interjected.

"You and your stupid tea. It doesn't solve anything, you know," Ursa spat.

"Hey! Leave Uncle out of this! And Katara, too. They didn't do anything to you." Zuko reached out to touch his mother's arm, but she pulled away from him.

"Oh, I see how it is," Ursa countered. "Three against one? Are you all talking behind my back about how risky it is to bring me back here with my… _past?_ You had to tell Zuko so he'd have an excuse for when his mother goes crazy. I wouldn't want to _embarrass you_ , son. Or maybe you're bringing it up now to see if I'll break under pressure. Better to find out sooner rather than later."

"Mom! It's not like that at all! I'm sorry… I shouldn't have said anything!"

"You're right! You shouldn't have. You shouldn't even know!"

"Why can't I know? The more I know, the more I can help you."

"I don't need your help."

Zuko opened his mouth to respond, but Iroh beat him to it. "Ursa, everyone needs help every now and then. It's OK to accept help especially from those who love you." He reached across Zuko's lap to give her a reassuring pat. This time she didn't recoil from the touch. Zuko leaned into her so that their shoulders touched, hoping she would understand that she could trust him to help her. _This was not how I imagined this conversation would go. I should have never brought it up. Fuck! Now she's crying._

By this point, Katara had crossed over, too, and everyone enveloped Ursa in a giant group hug. From the bundle of thick travel clothes, Ursa's broken voice emerged. "It was never supposed to be this way. I was supposed to be there for _you,_ Zuko. The last time I remember being on this train, I was coming to get help so we could find you and help you. Now, I'm the one who needs help. It's not right for a son to have to…"

"Shhhhhh." Zuko stroked her hair. "Mom, there are a lot of things that aren't right about our situation. But… one thing I know for sure is that I want to be here for you. Not because I have to. Because I want to. Because I love you."

She melted into him. "I'm so s-s-sorry. I didn't want you to know because I'm s-s-o ashamed. Of how I failed you. Of how I left you. Of how weak I am…"

"Mom, you're not weak, you're—"

Iroh cleared his throat. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but this is our stop."

For some reason, Zuko felt compelled to scoop up his mother and carry her off the train. Despite her earlier misgivings about appearances, she nestled into him and sighed deeply. She seemed so frail like that, fractured and unsteady. And Zuko was strong, supportive, and unwavering. _When exactly did this happen?_

A faint memory of a conversation by the turtleduck pond flashed in his mind. His mother had said that pain could make you stronger if you so choose. He was very young at the time, and he didn't even remember the context of her statement. He had no idea then what kind of pain she would endure—or what she had already experienced by that point. He knew she would always choose to be strong, though. And when Uncle said the cycle had been broken, Zuko would venture to say that she had some part in that, too.

* * *

The first item on the agenda for the wedding festivities was a welcome feast. It had been a while since Zuko and Katara had attended one of these together, but regrettably, they were not allowed to sit together. Zuko was ushered away to be seated among the national leaders at which an unbidden but not unwelcome thought pushed to the forefront of his mind. _Just wait until I make Katara the Fire Lady._

He ended up sitting next to Song, but he thought it was peculiar that she was not seated next to King Kuei as one would expect. The damn dowager sat to Keui's right with King Bumi next to him. Then it was Song and Zuko. On Kuei's left sat Chief Arnook from the Northern Water Tribe. Next to him was a woman that Zuko didn't recognize, but she seemed quite engaged in conversation with Chief Hakoda who sat to her left. Next to him was Sokka, then Suki, and then Katara. Zuko gave her a slight wave, a shy grin, and then a shrug.

Katara knew Zuko hated all the social pomp and circumstance. She had also seen how crestfallen he was at their unfortunate sleeping arrangements—one large open room separated by paper-thin dividers suspended from the ceiling. She laughed as she remembered Iroh's statement, "Katara, now here is your bed over here, and here is where you'll be sleeping." The looks on both Ursa and Zuko's faces had been priceless. It didn't matter, though. She had a plan for later tonight.

"What's so funny?" Suki elbowed her.

"Oh, nothing." Katara cleared her throat. "Hey, where are you guys staying?"

Suki's face reddened. "In this big open room with your dad, Malina, and Chief Arnook. It's _awful_."

"Who's Malina?"

Suki leaned in closer. "She's the woman sitting next to your dad. She's laying it on pretty thick if you ask me."

Katara glanced over at this _Malina_ who had just placed a hand on her father's arm at that particular moment and was laughing unnaturally loud at whatever Hakoda had just said. _Surely not. She's just being polite. Diplomatic. Yeah, that's it._

Suki raised her eyebrows at Katara. "See what I mean?"

"Come on, Suki. She's like half his age." Katara chanced another look but nearly spewed out the sip of wine she had just taken when her father cupped his hand over Malina's. _What the fuck!?_ "OK, Suki, spill it. What do you know?"

Suki's blush deepened even more. "Well, the dividers are pretty thin in our room…"

Katara gasped. "No way…"

"Look Katara, I don't really blame your dad, OK? She's been traveling back and forth between the tribes facilitating the reconstruction project in the South Pole. Your dad was really resistant to receiving aid from the North at first, and he doesn't like all the changes. Well, since Malina entered the picture, he's softened."

"So, is she like manipulating him or something? Oh spirits, Suki… is she _seducing_ him?" Katara's eyes narrowed.

"I don't think it's quite like that. I think they really do like each other. But I think Chief Arnook is playing it to his advantage. _His_ intentions are not good, that I know for sure."

At that point, Katara noticed that Hakoda and Malina had laced their fingers together, so it was obvious they weren't keeping anything a secret. She had only briefly seen her father just before the dinner started, so there hadn't been much time for talking. Katara caught Zuko's eyes from across the table. He looked bored. She tilted her head toward the new couple. Zuko's eyes went wide when he saw.

Suki elbowed her again. "So, Chief Arnook has plans. I'm not sure what they are entirely, but he started out by pursuing Sokka and me. It's how I got the spirit water. He staged it like some trade agreement with the Kyoshi Warriors, but he really wanted to know if Sokka would succeed your father as chieftain and if I would go with him to the South Pole. When we told him we weren't sure, that we were interested in pursuing a future in Two Rivers and the new government model there, he got kinda… snippy… and that's when he appointed this Malina for the reconstruction project."

"So… you're saying he's looking for influence in the South Pole," Katara summarized.

"Influence, yes. But perhaps something more. I've tried telling Sokka about this, but he thinks I'm being paranoid. And he thinks your dad can handle it. But Katara, look at him. He's head over heels in love. He won't be level-headed about this. He's like putty in her hands."

Katara didn't even want to look at her father again. The idea was a bit sickening. Not the part about her father falling in love because deep down, she'd wish that kind of happiness for him after his share of pain and loss. But she would never want him to have a manipulative or politically-arranged relationship. _That shit is what the Northerners do._ Instead of looking at Hakoda, she shot a glare at Arnook.

The Chief of the Northern Water Tribe was looking right back at her. _Oh shit!_ She quickly looked away and then over at Zuko again. He was talking to Song.

Suki sighed long and loud beside her. "Anyway, Katara, just look out for him, OK? Maybe if you get a chance, you can talk some sense into him. And be thankful you don't have to share a room with them."

* * *

"Katara, can I please take the blindfold off now?" Zuko whined.

"What if I say no?" Katara did entertain the idea of having her way with him blindfolded.

"Where are we going? We can't just sneak off. I have an armed guard of like 50 men, you know."

"I bribed a few of them to keep quiet. Seriously, you worry too much." She tugged at his hands, but he had been so reluctant to follow her. _Hmm, trust issues? Almost there…_

It was as if Zuko read her mind. "Katara, it's not that I don't trust you, it's just that—"

She removed the blindfold when they reached the gates.

"Oh, this place," Zuko deadpanned.

"Don't sound so excited. Don't you remember?" Katara stuck her lip out in a pout.

He drew her pouty lips in for a short breathy kiss. "Of course, I remember. I'll _never_ forget our first kiss."

Katara started to climb the gate.

"What are you doing?" Zuko hissed.

"Well… this is how we got in before."

"That's what I wanted to tell you. Kuei said he beefed up security for the wedding… because there would be so many people around. So… we could get caught."

Katara gave him an incredulous look before scanning their surroundings. "Looks like the coast is clear, Fire Lord Scaredy-Pants."

"Katara! Wait!"

But she had already scaled the gate and started running into the botanical gardens, casting occasional beckoning glances over her shoulder.

 _Damn you, woman. I don't need to get arrested in this city AGAIN._ Zuko followed. How could he not?

Once he caught up to her, it was Katara's turn to read _his t_ houghts. "Zuko, you can't get arrested for trespassing. The sign says you'll get fined. That's it."

"What sign?" Zuko barely had the chance to ask, and Katara answered by pulling him into a deep kiss, wrapping one leg around his thigh. He groaned in response.

Then they heard another groan not too far away.

"What was that?" Katara whispered.

Zuko rested his head on her shoulder. "It sounds like someone else had this idea."

"Well, the gardens are huge. Let's just go somewhere else."

They had barely taken a few steps when they heard the groaner say, "Ohhhh, Ursa."

Zuko froze and gripped Katara's elbow. He then mouthed, "What. The. Fuck."

The rustling of leaves indicated that their company was closer than they realized, so Zuko and Katara ducked behind a boulder nearby.

Katara thought just the _idea_ of her father and someone doing _this_ was bad enough. No, no, this was way worse. Judging from their position, they were stuck between the outer wall of the garden and Ursa and her mystery lover. _Who is Ursa with anyway?_

"Mmmmm, Jung."

 _Oh._

Zuko's jaw clinched, and Katara could literally feel the heat radiating from him. She reached out to touch his forearm and pleaded with her eyes. _Don't do anything brash. It's none of your business. Even if you disapprove, they are two consenting adults…_

"Ursa, you're so beautiful," Dr. Jung said in between soft wet noises that sounded like kisses.

Zuko threw his head back against the rock. He didn't know if he could stand for this much longer. Besides the fact that it was awkward, it was just wrong in his mind. _The doctor erased her fucking memories. Why would she…?_

"Ursa, my love, why are you crying?"

Katara and Zuko both tensed at this statement. Zuko would definitely intervene if things got out of hand—if Dr. Jung did _anything_ his mother didn't want.

The only sound they could hear for a while was Ursa's shuddering breath. Then, she spoke. "I-I'm crying because I never thought anyone would think I'm beautiful… not when I look like this."

Zuko shot Katara a look of confusion, but she knew exactly what Ursa was talking about. The woman's torso was ravaged with burn scars. Zuko knew, but he didn't really _know_. And when Katara looked back at the young Fire Lord's marred face, in that moment, she could relate to Dr. Jung. Zuko was beautiful in her eyes. His scar didn't matter. And if she had the power to erase his painful past, she, too, would do it in a heartbeat.

Zuko must have seen something in her expression—her love, perhaps—because his softened. He laced his fingers with hers and squeezed her hand.

"But Ursa, looks don't matter. What matters is the beautiful person you are on the inside," Dr. Jung said.

"Which is just another way of saying I'm ugly, isn't it?"

"No, that's not what I meant at all. I meant… you were the first person to show me that what a person looks like doesn't matter. I thought all Fire Nation people were bad before I met you. You opened my eyes to so much beauty in the world, Ursa. So, I will say it again. I think you are beautiful. Just the way you are. Inside and out. And I want to prove it to you."

The sounds that were made at that point were the obvious ones headed in a certain direction—the one that Zuko dreaded. He pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering if he should plug his ears. _Speaking of scars, will I be scarred for life now?_

"Hey! Hey, you two!" A loud booming voice shot through the dark.

Perhaps it was his paranoia about getting caught in the first place that caused his reaction, but Zuko stood up abruptly when the guard arrived on the scene. Katara had tried to pull him back down to their hiding spot, convinced that the man was after the _other_ trespassing lovers in the park, but it was too late. The guard saw all four of them, and they all saw each other. Just before his mother had a chance to quickly cover herself, Zuko caught a glimpse of her scarred back under the moonlight. _Oh Agni, I had no idea it was that bad…_

Dr. Jung eyed Zuko and Katara suspiciously before addressing the guard. "Is there a problem, officer?"

"Problem? The problem is that you can't read. The sign says no entrance after dark," the guard barked.

"I'm sorry, I saw no such sign. We'll just leave then." Dr. Jung reached for Ursa's hand and took a step forward.

"Ah-ah-ah. Not so fast. There's a fine for trespassing."

"It's OK," Zuko interjected. "We'll pay the fine. We're sorry for… breaking the rules. It won't happen again."

The guard scowled at Zuko before redirecting his attention back to Dr. Jung. "Well, and there's also a fine for public indecency." He then scanned the length of Ursa's body in an appraising way.

"Oh, come on, this place is hardly public. In the Fire Nation, there has to be actual _public_ around for that charge to stick, you know, like people… in the near vicinity… there's no one around but… us." Zuko then blushed at the implication of his statement. Like he had meant to be watching the doctor and his mother get it on.

"This isn't the Fire Nation, son." The guard obviously didn't recognize Zuko, and so he continued his interrogation of Dr. Jung. "Tell me, did you just get bored of the Earth Kingdom women, so you had to go find some firefucker instead?"

Zuko summoned a flame in his palm. "You will NOT talk about my mother that way."

"Whoa-oh-oh, a mother and son combination. Now that's… _kinky_!" The guard still kept his eyes locked with the other Earth Kingdom citizen. "Although these two are a little… _charred_ , don't you think? But maybe that's how you like it."

"Enough!" Dr. Jung and Zuko said in unison.

Zuko felt the fire burning in his blood, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw that his mother was trembling. The guard's taunting was terrible, if not traumatizing, and they needed to be rid of him as quickly as possible. He tried to calm his breathing and his voice in order to switch tactics. "Fine. Just tell me what we owe, and we can all be on our way. No harm done."

"How about you give me a go at your little firecracker, and we'll call it even?" The guard had barely delivered his words before he was frozen in ice from the shoulders down. "What the—"

Katara rounded on him. "You were so busy focusing on the firebenders, that you forgot about the waterbender. Listen, asshole. We know King Kuei and Queen Song personally, so if you would like to keep your job and your freedom, then you'll leave us alone, do you understand?"

"It's… you!" the guard gasped.

"Huh?" Katara was proud of her little speech. She didn't anticipate _that_ response.

"You're the waterbender who helped with so many of the Joo Dees!"

"Yeah, and I bet you were a Dai Li agent by the shit you just tried to pull," Katara seethed.

"N-n-no, I wasn't. You brought back my sister after she disappeared for so long. I didn't know about the Dai Li or the Joo Dees. I've just had this crap job as a night guard for years."

"Then if you had a sister who suffered at the hands of the Dai Li, why would you go around making similar threats to women?"

"They suffered? I thought they were just tour guides." The guard shivered, partly from the ice and partly from facing cold hard facts.

"Seriously? You're as dense as a rock. I can't believe someone with such a dirty mind wouldn't have made the connection." Katara put her hands on her hips and shook her head at the guard.

His eyes then widened with his realization. "The nightmares! That must be why my sister has those nightmares."

"K-k-katara…" Zuko saw his mother start to sway.

Dr. Jung caught Ursa as she passed out. "We've got to get her out of here."

Katara pointed a scolding finger at the guard. "You should be ashamed of yourself. The ice will melt in a few hours, so I'm just going to leave you here to think about how every woman you mistreat might be someone else's sister! And how you have become their worst nightmare."

* * *

 **A/N:** Zuko and Katara's first kiss at the botanical gardens in the Ba Sing Se upper ring was a much anticipated, long overdue moment in the Stalking Series. If a fictional setting could hold a special place in my heart, then that would be the one for Zutara and me. Thanks, Emletish, because I honestly thought they would NEVER get around to kissing at the rate they were going. The other Stalking reference in this chapter is Jet and Zuko getting arrested in the lower districts during the post-war peace treaty negotiations. I had a hard time with Jet coming back and how much of a role he played in NSFZ. He really brings out the worst in Zuko. It's understandable, I guess, but both of their characters got a little OOC for me at that point. I did, however, like the idea of Jet going off with June and Mai as a bounty-hunting team to find war criminals and partake in a little post-war justice. I could see that as the beginning of a redemption arc for Jet. I also thought it would be a redeeming experience for Mai—a chance for her to break free of her stiff noble upbringing and also do similar things to what she was doing with Azula (tracking down people) but with a greater sense of purpose.

The conversation that Zuko recalls where his mother says, "Pain can make you stronger if you so choose," comes from my other fic, _Burning Passion_ , Chapter 7. So, while Zuko is starting to get better, you may notice that Ursa is losing her shit. When it comes to Ozai's abuse, she got the worst of it, and endured quite a bit to protect her children when it could have been much worse for them, too. Even the Agni Kai and Ozai's attack on Zuko was centered around Ursa. Why? Ursa represents a loss of control to Ozai which is why he tries to control her in any way that he can. He married her to impress his father and undermine his brother, but it didn't really accomplish, either. Through Dr. Wang's journal, I'll present more of the family dynamics that fuel Ozai's narcissistic rage. Ursa is also a strong woman who wouldn't always back down. And she is a smart woman who knows how to negotiate. Ozai can't allow any give-and-take in their relationship—or any of his relationships—because that makes him weak. He must take only... by force and through fear.


	26. Past Present Future

Zuko stared numbly at his tea cup while Dr. Jung tapped his thumb nervously against the wooden table. The doctor's apartment was on the outskirts of the upper ring, and its sparse furnishings indicated that he had not been there long—or did not plan on staying. After tonight's episode, Zuko decided once and for all that he could never trust the doctor's intentions. Although, he had to admit his appreciation for the apartment's solid walls.

Katara emerged from the one room—Dr. Jung's—where they had put an unconscious Ursa to bed. She poured herself a cup of tea, the doctor's trademark calming blend, and joined the other two at the table.

"All of her vitals are fine," Katara reported. "She's just like she was after…"

Zuko nodded. He knew. He used to dream about seeing his mother again, yet he never imagined it would be in a comatose state like he found her when he came back from Two Rivers. Then again, he also used to have nightmares that she was dead, and he would never see her again.

"After what?" Dr. Jung asked nonchalantly.

"After the stabbing," Katara answered automatically.

"The what!?" The doctor blanched.

"You didn't know? Spirits, I swear no one tells each other anything around here!"

"Where was she stabbed? I didn't see any scar. At least not a new one…"

Zuko let out a noise of disgust. "I'll leave you two to discuss the _medical_ aspect of my mother's condition." He downed his tea in one gulp and then entered the room where Ursa lay sleeping.

"I healed her, that's why," Katara explained. "She was stabbed in _your_ office, Dr. Jung. By her own brother. I can't believe you didn't know about it."

"My office? By Cheng? No… the other brother. She told me about him, Zukon… wow. Just when you thought Fire Nation family drama couldn't get any more—"

"I know what you mean," Katara cut him off. She didn't want to dwell on it too much, though. Whenever she thought about all the craziness in Zuko's family, it made her feel a little homesick. Of course, now there was drama afoot in her own family. _What is going on with this Malina woman..._

"How is he?" Dr. Jung interrupted her thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"Zuko. How has he been since… well, since I left, I guess. I don't get regular weekly updates anymore, so…"

"Oh. He's um, better, actually. He hasn't had any nightmares since…" _Since you left, actually. Hmm._ "Well, it's been a few weeks."

"That's great! I thought we might be on the verge of a breakthrough. I regretted having to leave. I really wanted to see him through."

Katara held the impression that the doctor had little to do with Zuko's recent progress. The way the absence of Dr. Jung coincided with the absence of Zuko's nightmares also struck her as… _odd_. Yet he looked so hopeful sitting before her now, asking for some confirmation of his own success. Perhaps Dr. Jung saw his efforts with Zuko as some sort of penance for what he did to Ursa. For all his faults, Katara knew that he genuinely cared.

"He's doing better. There's a lot weighing on him right now, but he carries it well. Ursa has been struggling lately, though. Lots of emotional breakdowns. She only had one session with Azula, and it didn't go well for either of them."

"Yes, she told me a little about that over dinner before we—ah…" Dr. Jung cleared his throat. "You two weren't spying on us, were you?"

"Of course, not! We were trying to get away from all the suffocating high court stuff and get some fresh air! Plus, we've been to the gardens before. I had planned on going back at some point during this visit."

"Ursa and I used to go there a lot, too. Back when we were working together. I mean, it was during the day, and nothing was going on between us. I don't really know what came over me tonight. Acting like an irresponsible teenager…"

"So, what exactly IS going on between you two?"

"I don't know, Katara. I know I should be helping her, trying to find a cure or something. But I just want to… spirits, it sounds so stupid. But I just love her. And I want her to know that she's loved. Truly loved. That I would never do anything to hurt her… that I didn't mean to—"

"I get it. I really do. And maybe loving her _is_ helping her. Or maybe you should stop trying to help her and JUST love her. Like you said tonight, love her for who she is, inside and out. Don't try to fix her. Just be there for her."

"That makes sense, I guess. But it's so hard to see the one you love suffering without knowing what to do. I just want to make it all better."

"But you can't. Spirits, you even tried to make the past go away, and it still didn't work. Ursa told me once that when you love each other well, then love is all you need. Since she said that to me—as a Joo Dee, mind you—I've also learned that love is hard, but it is so, so worth it."

"Katara, you're not bad for a… irresponsible teenager, you know that?"

Katara thought it was probably the first time she had ever seen Dr. Jung genuinely smile at her.

* * *

"It's getting pretty late. Or more like it's really early. Either way, you should be getting back before your uncle worries about you." Dr. Jung stood behind Zuko who was kneeling at his mother's bedside.

"As much as I don't want to, I guess it would be best to leave her here." Zuko spoke just above a whisper.

"You… don't trust me."

"Why would I?"

"I suppose that's fair, Zuko. I've not done anything to earn your trust. But I promise to take care of your mother. I'd give my life before I let anything happen to her."

"Is that how you felt when the Dai Li came to take her away? Or was she useless to you without her memories? Just like she was useless to my father then."

"Zuko, not a day goes by that I don't regret what happened. I won't make excuses. They threatened my life, and I was scared, yes. But they also promised a better life for her. It was better than the alternative. I could never send her back to your father."

"So, when she became a Joo Dee, she wasn't one of the ones who—"

"I don't think so. There were different classes of Joo Dees, so I think with her refined disposition, they would have put her in the top tier with a respectable position. And in all honesty, Zuko, the men who sought Joo Dees for exploitation would have found the scars... unattractive."

Zuko closed his eyes. "I had no idea they were that bad. What she must have gone though…"

"So, you didn't read the dream journal, I take it?"

"No. I was afraid I might… my father…"

"I wouldn't blame you."

"I told you I'm not a killer."

"I know. And you surprised me tonight. I thought the guard was a dead man. But you didn't even lose your temper. You might have to watch out for your girlfriend's temper though."

"Heh. Well, what she did was much more effective than you or me trying to talk the guard down. I probably shouldn't have let it go so far. Then my mother wouldn't be like this."

"She'll be fine. I didn't know about the stabbing, but I know why this happens. The brain gets overloaded, so the body shuts down for a little while to allow the brain to repair itself. Every night when we are sleeping, our brains are recovering from the day, sorting out information and rebuilding for the next day. It's why a person can go crazy from sleep deprivation. It also explains why we dream and also why it's important to get a handle on reoccurring nightmares. They're like festering wounds that can't heal. So, your mother's brain has forced itself into recovery mode. She should feel much better when she wakes up."

"She's not doing well overall, though. She's been very emotional and agitated lately. I don't know what to do."

"What worked for you?"

"Huh?"

"You seem to be doing better. You're not as angry, and Katara said you haven't had the nightmares for a while. What worked for you?"

"I honestly don't know. But even if I did… would it work for Mom, too? I used to think our experience was similar, but now I'm not so sure…"

"I don't know, either. I guess we just make sure she knows that we love her no matter what. Ozai never loved her like he should, and she seems to think she is unlovable. She knows you love her, but she feels such incredible guilt about what happened to you, that she won't allow herself to feel free in that love, either. I used to not put that much stock into love. It defies science, you know. That was before I started studying the brain… and consequently matters of the heart."

Zuko shifted so he could make eye contact with Dr. Jung. Molten gold met somber green. "I'm still not sure if I'm OK with it, but it's not my choice to make. I know that you love her, and if she loves you and chooses you, then please—"

"You have my word."

* * *

Katara yawned and slumped over the spread of tea and cookies in front of her. The dowager cleared her throat loudly, and Katara caught her disapproving glare as she straightened back up in her seat.

"Oh, sorry. Late night." Katara ignored the raised eyebrow the woman gave her and shrugged at Song instead. She would have preferred to sleep through the mid-morning bridal tea especially since it had been arranged by the dowager. However, she knew she was here to support Song—who looked absolutely miserable, the poor thing.

Suki and Malina soon entered the exquisitely decorated tea room and each headed for the vacant spots on either side of Katara.

"I don't believe we've officially met. Hi, I'm Malina." The auburn-haired woman bowed before taking her seat.

"Mmm, yes. I'm Katara. Nice to meet you." She didn't bow in return and again, felt the dowager's stare upon her.

"Likewise. Koda has told me so much about you." The woman's bright blue eyes sparkled as she spoke. Nobody in the south wore their hair short like Malina, however, Katara had to admit the style framed her angular face well. She was beautiful… yet so _young_.

"Koda?" Katara suppressed a laugh. The only way she could survive this encounter was to keep things light-hearted.

Malina blushed. "Well, I call him that sometimes. It seems more… I dunno, efficient?"

"Efficient? Because adding two more letters would make it such a mouthful to say…" Katara smirked.

"Excuse me, ladies," the dowager interrupted. "But it is time to begin. This is not just any tea, but a special tea for our dearly beloved bride, Song. Now, all of you here are not married or betrothed, and there's a reason for that. It is Earth Kingdom custom to determine the next person to be married. King Kuei and Song's wedding will be blessed by the promise of budding romance and loving bonds that may succeed them. So, drink up, ladies. True love is told among the tea leaves."

Malina let out a girlish giggle. "I've heard about this tradition. I've also heard that it tends to be true. It's not just superstition." She rubbed her hands together in a scheming fashion, and then lifted her tea cup to her lips.

Katara didn't really know what the tea had to do with anything, but she fought the urge to freeze Malina's right then and there. She saw Song roll her eyes from across the table. Katara raised her cup—and her eyebrow—in a mock toast to the bride. _Hang in there, Song. This will soon be over._

Once everyone had finished their tea, they exchanged expectant smiles. Malina was the first to dump the tea leaves out onto her saucer. Everyone else then did the same. Just before Katara started poking at the wet lumps, the dowager shrieked, "Don't touch them! Now, who has the most?"

The dowager walked around the table, making contemplative noises as she eyed each person's plate. After making two full circles, she finally stopped behind Suki and placed her hands on the warrior's shoulders. "You, my dear, will be the next one to get married! Congratulations!"

Katara saw Malina slump in disappointment out of the corner of her eye. She didn't really want to entertain the idea that the northerner and her father were actually that serious. Besides, congratulations _were_ in order. Sokka and Suki had been dating for nearly two years. She gave a sideways hug to her friend and squealed in delight. She'd always known they'd be sisters sooner or later.

The dowager offered a tight-lipped smile before pacing the room again. "Now, I have a special surprise for you all. Don't disturb your tea leaves, because a special guest has come to read your fortune for you!"

Katara's jaw dropped as Aunt Wu entered the room. Her own fortune from what seemed like ages ago rang loud and clear in her memory. _I feel a great romance for you. The man you are going to marry. I can see that he's a very powerful bender._ Of course, now Katara even had confirmation from Fire Sage Shyu's prophesy. She didn't know what she would ask the fortuneteller this time around. About her wedding? About her children?

As it turned out, it wasn't a question-and-answer type of thing. Aunt Wu apparently planned to read the future from the patterns in the tea leaves. She kept her voice just above a whisper, so Katara couldn't hear what she said to Song or the dowager, but she heard the prediction Aunt Wu gave to Malina.

"I sense deep love and devotion in you. But your relationships will be challenged by conflict between two great forces, and you must choose between the man you've known your entire life and the man you've only just met."

Malina nodded, her face downcast. Katara wondered who this other man was, assuming the newer one mentioned was her father. It was a strange fortune… it felt almost familiar to Katara, as if Aunt Wu could deliver the same words to her and have them ring true. She'd often struggled with the implication of leaving her home and family in the South Pole to unite with Zuko and consequently, the Fire Nation.

Aunt Wu's breathy voice shook her from her thoughts. "Ah, yes. We meet again, Katara of the Southern Water Tribe. Or is it Fire Lady Katara now? Hmm?"

Katara raised an eyebrow in response.

"Not yet, I see. All in due time, I suppose," Aunt Wu continued. "Well, I don't have any proclamations about love for you today. Only that you will have to make a very difficult decision soon. You must decide between what you feel is right and what you know will work. And there will be lives at stake, perhaps even these lives will be in your hands. Decide wisely, Katara."

Katara thought maybe she and Malina had something in common on this front. Their fortunes were weighty, and it left her with a queasy feeling in her stomach. She hoped tea time would end soon so she could get some fresh air.

Aunt Wu then addressed Suki. "When you leave the Earth Kingdom Capital, you will be surprised to find where you end up next. Oh, and the wedding custom rings true for you, my dear. You will be the next to be married."

* * *

Katara saw Zuko later that afternoon when a procession of young men returned from a ceremonial bachelors' hunt. King Kuei carried a deer pig head tucked under his elbow. Haru had an eel snake draped across his shoulders. Katara crinkled her nose when she saw that Sokka had a boar head positioned on top of his own head. Zuko, however, wore a disgruntled expression and several cuts and scrapes. It must not have gone well for the firebender-turned-hunter.

"I don't want to talk about it," Zuko mumbled as he brushed past Katara.

"Well, at least let me heal you!" she called after him.

Sokka just shrugged. "I told him to go after the regular boar." He pointed at his unconventional headpiece. "But he insisted on challenging the boar-q-pine."

"He's probably just a sore loser," Katara said.

"Hey, yeah. What does the winner get?" Sokka turned to Kuei and held his arms out expectantly.

The Earth King cleared his throat. "Right. Well, whoever gets the biggest kill will be the next person to be married."

Katara clapped her hands together. "Oh, Sokka, that's so exciting because—" She didn't finish because her brother had gone into a state of shock with wide eyes, pale cheeks, and mouth agape.

"Hey Sokka!" Suki seemingly came out of nowhere. "How was the hunt?"

"Ba-da da um, ya, duh…" Sokka proved inept at forming words. Katara, Kuei, and Haru took the hint to leave the two of them alone.

Katara found Zuko in their room feigning sleep. She gloved her hands in water and began healing his wounds.

"It's probably considered invasive if not an intrusion on doctor-patient privilege if you don't at least ask first," he said with a smirk.

"I heard you had a run-in with a boar-q-pine."

"Well, I woulda had him except…oh, nevermind. I've never been that good at hunting. And Sokka, he's a natural. Must be a South Pole thing."

"Well, it's true that he didn't grow up in a palace, if that's what you mean." She smiled as she finished up the last cut on his arm.

He sighed. "I still want to go there someday. I would love to see where you guys grew up."

"Well, it might look a lot different now. This Malina person is heading up the reconstruction project and apparently she has my father wrapped around her little finger." Katara's eyes narrowed as she spoke.

"Yeah, I met her brother, Maliq, and he's working on the project, too. He complained about how unsophisticated the south is. How the barbaric tribal system is getting in the way of accomplishing anything. It sounded like something people in the Fire Nation would say… and in a way, it's worse. Aren't they supposed to be helping you?"

"Yes, one would think so," Katara said through gritted teeth. She really needed to talk to her father about all of this, she decided.

"Katara, maybe we really should schedule a trip to the South Pole soon." Zuko placed a warm hand over hers. "I was initially thinking for just personal reasons, but perhaps a more diplomatic purpose has presented itself."

She understood he was trying to comfort her, but she wasn't sure how exactly. "What do you mean?"

"I can talk to your father. We can arrange further trade agreements between the Fire Nation and the South Pole. You're the Ambassador, so you should be in on the conversations, too. We won't undermine what Maliq and Malina are doing, especially if your father values their input for um, certain _non-political_ reasons. But, Katara, if the South Pole remains open to working with the other nations, then the North Pole won't have so much of a foothold."

"I guess that makes sense."

"I think Chief Hakoda will see reason. He won't allow the North too much control, I'm sure of it. And worldwide cooperation is the only hope we have of rebuilding and maintaining peace."

"Okay." Katara curled up next to him on the bed and tucked her head under his chin. She did feel better about what he was saying. He may not be the best hunter, but he was a damn good Fire Lord.

* * *

 **A/N:** Alright, alright, like the Elvis song goes, "A little less conversation, a little more action please..." It's coming, I promise.

"A little more bite and a little less bark; a little less fight and a little more spark..."


	27. Indecent Proposals

Both Zuko and Katara were grateful for their little impromptu nap because with the evening came more pre-wedding festivities. This time, a banquet was held in the Avatar's honor, since he had finally arrived. It was all well and good. Aang probably wouldn't have approved of the ceremonial hunt anyway. Afterward, the men and women split up for more bachelor-bachelorette style celebrations. Song hooked elbows with Suki and Katara as they walked into town. It was evident by the skip in her step just how grateful the bride was to be free of the dowager's imposition. Katara was admittedly glad that Malina had decided not to join them, although that probably meant that the woman was spending time with her father instead.

Song wanted to go crazy apparently. She took them to a bar where there were lots of fancy drinks and lively dancing. Katara knew she was underage, but the bartender seemed intrigued by his new waterbender customer and offered Katara a cocktail he called Ocean Water. It was a lame name, but a delicious drink, she decided. It tasted like lemon, lime, and coconut plus something _really_ sweet that the bartender told her was called rum.

"Rum rhymes with yum!" she said with a giggle as she requested her third drink. After her fourth, she found herself on the dance floor despite her earlier declarations that she would not be caught dead moving her body like _that_ in public. She'd momentarily lost track of Suki and Song, and she got caught up in the music. It was fun… and a little bit sensual. She wished Zuko were there, although she doubted he would dance anyway. Maybe if he'd had enough to drink. He liked Earth Kingdom whiskey, she remembered.

In her dazed state, she almost thought her wish had come true. The young man who had positioned himself behind her smelled like whiskey. She felt warm, sturdy hips rock against her backside. She leaned back into him and caught a glimpse of dark shaggy hair as she met the rhythm of the music—and his body—with her own.

"Hey there, beautiful." Something tickled her cheek when her dance partner spoke.

Everything took a minute to register, the stalk of grass finally helping her come to her senses. "Jet!?" She shoved away from him and through a few other people while clambering for a nearby chair.

He sauntered over to her. She groaned.

"Hey, we had a good thing going. You left me hanging."

Katara wasn't sure if he was talking about the dance floor or something else entirely. "Jet, what are you doing here?"

"I live here. I'm from the Earth Kingdom, remember? What are _you_ doing here?"

"Uhhh, the king's wedding."

"Right. Those royal affairs. Still dating that royal assface?"

"He has a name. And for your information, yes. Yes, I am."

"Seriously, Katara. His face looks like an ass. Ohhhh, but I see how you are. You're too busy looking at his _ass_ to notice."

"You're the only one who's an ass, Jet. Now excuse me, I'm going to get another drink." She knew it was a bad idea, but she needed to get away from him.

Of course, he followed her to the bar. "Well, I know you liked _my_ ass out there on the dance floor, sweetheart. Where is your lordly boyfriend now? He left you all alone to drink and dance by yourself?" Jet made a pouty face.

Katara scolded herself for thinking for a split second that he actually looked sexy like that. _It must be the alcohol talking. Maybe I shouldn't have another…_

Just then, the bartender placed two shot glasses in front of them. "Rum on the house," he said.

Katara threw the drink back quickly. A little too quickly. She felt like she was falling backwards. She reached out with flailing arms expecting Jet to catch her and fearing what would happen if he did. She definitely didn't want to be incapacitated and subject to _his_ whim. Thankfully, the last thing she saw before she passed out was Suki's face.

* * *

Katara woke up in a room that seemed familiar, but not. The pounding in her head reminded her of where she had been, and the soft breaths of her friend beside her told her where she was now. Suki had caught her before she fell and saved her from not only meeting the ground but also from her chance encounter with a certain insistent Earth Kingdom boy she had forgotten about—and was still trying to forget. _Spirits, I hope I didn't do anything stupid._ Her mind still felt fuzzy. She focused on Suki's steady breathing to help her go back to sleep, but then another pattern of breathing caught her attention.

It was heavy. And eager. And female.

"Ohhhh, Koda, _please_."

The sounds her father gave in response made Katara's head pound even more. _There is no fucking way I will just lie here quietly and listen to them… fucking._

Malina then started making these half-pant, half-shrieks, and Katara saw Suki's eyes shoot open. The Kyoshi Warrior just groaned and rolled over, pulling a pillow over her head as she did.

Then it was suddenly silent. Katara heard her father's frantic whisper, "I thought you said nobody was here."

"I didn't think there was. Everyone went out for the night," Malina answered breathily.

Another few minutes of silence passed by, and Katara decided that maybe the torture session was over. Once the lovebirds fall asleep, she'd make her way back to her own villa. There was still a conversation she wanted to have with her father, though. _Later, obviously._

She then heard Malina whisper, "Whoever it is, they're asleep anyway. _Come on_ , Koda. Give it to me."

"Oh, I'll give it to you, alright—"

"Enough already!" Katara sat straight up in her bed, ignoring the assault her quick ascent made on her head. In the dark, it was hard to get her bearings and find the quickest exit, but she eventually spotted the door as her eyes adjusted. She felt Suki's hand on her arm just before she stood. She acknowledged her friend's apologetic expression before rising and stomping loudly across the room. She heard the murmurs and shuffle of fabric from the other two occupants, but she didn't care.

"Katara? Is that you?" She found the sound of her father's voice grating. It had been so sultry a minute ago, and now it carried an air of concern. _Of course he should be concerned. I just caught him sleeping with… the enemy._

The cool night air felt good as she breezed through the courtyard toward her own villa. She saw then that Suki's was closer to the pathway that led to the bar, so that must've been how she ended up there. _In Sokka's bed perhaps?_ That meant Zuko wouldn't be back from whatever the boys had gone off to do. Her head was starting to feel clearer, but her anger hadn't subsided. She really wanted to waterbend. She had seen a fountain somewhere, but where? She stopped and turned, and that's when she saw him. He was shirtless and still messing with the tie of his pants.

 _No. No. No. I will not have this conversation right now._

"Katara, wait!" Hakoda called after her.

She didn't know where she was going, but _away_ from him—she knew that for sure.

"Katara! Can we please talk? I know this is about Mom."

 _What!?_ Katara stopped dead in her tracks and instinctively clutched her necklace. She hadn't even considered that. _At all._ She clinched her fists. "You don't know anything!"

She could tell he had caught up to her by the sound of his heavy breathing and the smell of sweat in the air. It was likely from his running to chase after her, but it reminded her of where she had just come from and him doing _that._ She closed her eyes and refused to turn around and face him.

"Can you at least let me explain?" he panted.

She didn't answer.

"Katara, I—" Hakoda swallowed hard. "I'm not being impulsive. I know you just met her, but Malina and I have known each other for months. I was reluctant at first… to give in to my feelings for her. I was afraid of what you and your brother would think… and I didn't want to dishonor your mother's memory. I'm sorry if you see it that way, I—"

"I don't," she interrupted.

"OK… well, I agree that just now was… awkward… but you've been avoiding me the past few days. And Malina said that you didn't—"

"I don't like her."

"Well, I don't suppose you have to. But why? Is it her age? She's actually older than she looks. I know she can be a little… flighty at times, but—"

"She's taking advantage of you." Katara then turned to face him.

"What? Why would you say that?"

"She's Chief Arnook's pawn. She just wants a foothold for the North to come in and take over. You can't trust her. You can't trust _them_."

"Katara… I don't know what gave you that idea, but she's not the enemy. And neither is Chief Arnook."

"Dad, they're from the _North_."

"Your point? The war is over, Katara. Besides, we were never fighting with the North. It's time to pool our resources and rebuild. It's time for cooperation. The South is struggling right now, and the North has a lot to give us. Malina has been an integral part—"

"I don't know, Dad. Sounds like _you_ were the one about to give it to her back there."

Hakoda folded his arms across his chest. "Now you're just being immature."

"Oh, I'm immature? I'm not the one dating someone and using international relations as an excuse!"

Hakoda raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you're not, _Ambassador_ Katara?"

Whatever retort Katara had ready to fire at him next got caught in her throat. Her stormy eyes met his icy ones, both intense and blue, but seemingly worlds apart.

"Ughhhhhhhhhh. Whatever. You better get back to your _negotiations_. You don't want your _trade partner_ to think you've gone back on your word." She turned on her heel and stormed off in the direction of her villa. She felt very, very tired all of the sudden.

"Katara!"

She ignored him because she was trying to convince herself that she didn't care. But the tears that now streamed down her face meant otherwise.

* * *

Zuko was so tired. Staying out all night would have been fun if it hadn't been just before the most boring wedding ever. He knew Fire Nation weddings weren't any better when it came to all the customs, but man, the Earth Kingdom nuptials seemed neverending. Katara had to elbow him several times to keep him from nodding off. How was she able to do it? He thought the girls had a similar night out. He was also surprised at how alert and awake Kuei and Song appeared. Perhaps that's what it would be like when such a long-awaited moment finally came. He wondered when that moment would be for him and Katara.

He didn't see her at the ceremony, so he was surprised to see his mother at the reception. Her arm was tucked tightly into Iroh's elbow as if she would fall over if he didn't support her. Zuko thought she looked a little paler than normal but otherwise quite beautiful. She was always radiant in red, like a true Fire Lady, but it had been a while since he'd seen her in formal wear that color. He was taken aback although unsure why.

"Mom, you look great! How are you feeling?"

"Honestly? Like I could use a drink," she answered with a warm smile.

"Well, it's wedding reception. I'm sure that can be arranged."

As if on cue, a server appeared with a tray of champagne. Iroh lifted his glass to make the toast. "To the new Earth King and Queen. May their reign be full of love and peace." He winked at his nephew.

Zuko rolled his eyes. The man always had a flair for drama, it seemed. True, the words from his coronation speech always struck him as significant, but there were only four of them standing there—his uncle, his mother, and Katara. The drink was cool and crisp, though, and he felt like he could finally relax. Ba Sing Se hadn't been so bad this time, and soon they would be heading home. He breathed a sigh of relief and downed his champagne. As he reached for another glass, Iroh placed a hand on his arm.

"Slow down there, nephew. It's a long night ahead, and you don't want too many regrets in the morning."

"All we're doing is traveling tomorrow, though. Right?" Although Zuko imagined being hungover on an airship would not be fun.

"Well…" Iroh exchanged a nervous glance with Ursa.

"What is it?" Zuko felt a flutter in his stomach. Did his uncle plan something else? Did they have to stay longer? _Only one more day, old man. That's all I'm willing to give…_

"I don't think I'll be returning to the Fire Nation just yet," Iroh said.

"What!? Why?" Zuko felt Katara's hand on his other arm this time, an effort to comfort him, no doubt.

"Well, the Jasmine Dragon's bookkeeping is a mess for starters. Takeo was supposed to take care of that for the three branches, and well…"

Zuko and Iroh shared the same dark expression at the mentioning of the former business partner who had betrayed them… and worse.

"Okay, but—" Zuko started.

"There's another matter that has come to my attention," Iroh continued with a sideways glance at Ursa. "There are some Earth Kingdom government officials who have behaved… _dishonorably_ … and need to pay for their crimes. I have offered my services to King Kuei since we in the Fire Nation have experience with that sort of thing."

Zuko thought he knew what his uncle was talking about by the stricken look on his mother's face, but he never anticipated what she would say next.

"Zuko, I'm not going back right away, either." She refused to make eye contact when she spoke.

"What!?"

"I'm helping Iroh… sort of. Or well, I'm helping Dr. Jung, actually. He's made a lot of headway with the Joo Dees recently. If we can help them recover their identities—and their memories—and incriminate the Dai Li, then maybe this whole ordeal can finally be put to rest."

Zuko couldn't help but feel the anger surge through his blood, but just like the odd sensation he felt when he saw his mother in her Fire Nation finery, he couldn't figure out why. He thought maybe it had to do with the past—its ruthless way of creeping up and closing in on him.

He cleared his throat, trying to rid his voice of emotion. "I understand the need for justice… and healing… but it's an Earth Kingdom problem. Just let them handle it."

"But Zuko, they need our help. And we should give it to them," Ursa said.

"Why? It's not like they come and help us with our criminals." Zuko knew the edge was back in his voice. He needed another drink… and fast.

"On the contrary, nephew. Your friend, Toph, came and helped with our war trials, remember?" Iroh's face was stern, and he'd seen that expression before. Here in Ba Sing Se, in fact. Probably just below where they were standing.

"Fine. Whatever. Just leave. Or stay. Hell, I don't even know anymore." Zuko decided that storming off would be the best thing before he said something he would regret or worse, made a scene at a royal wedding.

But Katara pulled on the sleeve of his robe and held him back. "Zuko, don't. Let's just enjoy this night together. Nobody is leaving just yet."

"BUT THEY ALWAYS LEAVE!" So much for not making a scene. Several pairs of eyes shot his way, including two sets of pained ones. _Good. It hurts me, too_.

Katara gripped his arm tighter and leaned in to whisper. "But I'm going back with you, okay? And I'll never leave you."

"BUT YOU'RE NOT FAMILY!" Pain then flashed through a third set of eyes, but this time, he felt immediate regret. He saw his mistake crashing like a wave in a depth of blue. He wished he was anywhere else but here. Out to sea, maybe. Getting carried away by the tide.

Even though he felt like he was in motion, swaying almost, time stood still. He was suspended with indecision—ebb and flow—about what to say or do next. Nobody seemed to know.

Katara finally broke the ice. "You're right, Zuko, I'm not. Maybe that's why I stick around. Because you need a little relief from all this… heat. But it's not easy. And sometimes I wonder if it's worth it…"

That's what he was waiting to hear. She wanted to leave, too. "It's not worth it, Katara."

"Are you even listening to me!? I just said I would never leave you. I think YOU are worth it, OK. Besides, the prophecy says—"

"Fuck the prophecy! I don't want you to stay because you think you have to! That's just as bad as an arranged marriage. And I don't want that."

"Then what do you want, Zuko? Hmm?" She pointed a finger at his chest.

"I WANT YOU!"

"You have me, you idiot!"

"But I want you to want me, too."

"I do."

The way she said it sounded so much like how she would say it in their wedding vows. He had just heard Song say it with the same amount of sincerity and devotion. It filled him with so much hope that he knew he would never doubt her love again. He pulled her in close so that their foreheads were touching. "Marry me, Katara."

She laughed. "Zuko, are you proposing… at someone else's wedding?"

He surveyed the small crowd that had gathered around them. His uncle and mother were smiling. He wasn't sure what to do next. Should he get down on one knee and make it more official? Should he make an announcement? Should he kiss her?

He decided on the latter and had almost closed the gap between them when Suki broke into the group. "Hey guys! Guess what!? Sokka just proposed! We're getting married!"

* * *

 **A/N:** Haha, Jet! Had to bring him back for the parallel to Jin. He's alive according to the Stalking series. Also if anyone is familiar with the drink Ocean Water from Sonic, yes, that was the inspiration. Although it's been years since I've had one. And I've never tried it with rum, but it sounds good, no?

Also, Chapter One of the third installment came to me in the middle of the night! As did the title, _Beyond the Silver Lining_. Be on the lookout for me to post that as a teaser chapter soon. You know what that means... the end of _Rising Tide_ is in sight, and me posting the third fic is making my commitment to finishing the series.


	28. North and South

**A/N:** I can't believe I'm almost done with _Rising Tide_! This one will have 30 chapters just like _Darkness Before Dawn_. And for a sneak peak into events that coincide with the third part of the trilogy (specifically their upcoming trip to the South Pole) check out _The Dragon and the Wolf._

* * *

"You don't like it," Suki said at breakfast the next day.

"Of course I do. What makes you think I don't?" Katara stifled a yawn. It had been a late night as expected. She had already said her stiff goodbyes to her father and Malina who left early in the morning to get a head start on the journey to the South Pole. Sokka had managed to convince Toph's parents to let her stay with her friends after the wedding reception, so he was walking her back to the Beifong villa. Aang seemed to pop in and out as he pleased. Zuko wanted to have breakfast with his uncle and mother before they parted ways. Katara was invited, but she figured they could all use some time to talk. So, it was just her and her future sister-in-law together for the time being.

"You keep frowning when you look at it," Suki continued.

"Oh. Sorry." Katara poked absentmindedly at the fruit on her plate.

Suki let out a long exasperated sigh. "Hey, so Malina told me that Zuko had just proposed to you, too. I'm sorry if I stole your spotlight. Is that what this is about?"

 _If Malina knows, then Dad knows. Great. It was such a weird proposal, though...  
_

"Katara? I feel kinda bad—"

"Oh spirits, no Suki, don't. I'm so happy for you and Sokka. And Zuko and I were kinda… fighting when he sorta… proposed, so I don't think it counts."

Suki didn't look convinced. She started fiddling nervously with her new betrothal necklace the way Katara often did with hers.

This time Katara _felt_ herself frowning, and she finally knew why. "I guess I'm just confused as to why Sokka would give you one, that's all. It's a Northern Water Tribe tradition."

Suki shrugged in response. "I knew that. But I'm not even Water Tribe. So what if the lines are a little blurry as long as it's meaningful, right? Sokka said that one of his earliest happy memories was of his mother carrying him, and she was wearing that necklace you have. He said he wanted for us to have that kind of pure happiness in our marriage."

"It's beautiful, Suki. He did a great job. I'm sorry if I made it seem any less." _Perhaps I need to let go of my hang-ups against the Northern Water Tribe._

"Besides if Chief Hakoda made one, it makes sense that Sokka would want to."

"What!?" Katara almost choked on a bite of melon. _He better not have made one for Malina!_

"Oh." Suki quirked her brow. "I just assumed your dad made that necklace for your mom."

Katara breathed a sigh of relief. "No, it's—it doesn't matter." Katara reached over and took her friend's hand—the one that wasn't clutching the intricately carved pendant hanging around her neck. "Suki, your necklace is beautiful, your love for Sokka is beautiful, and you're going to be a beautiful bride."

Suki lowered her other hand to cup over Katara's and let out a girlish squeal. "I'm soooooo excited!"

* * *

Zuko and Katara didn't say much to each other through the upper and middle rings on the train ride out of the city. They were surrounded by Zuko's guards which made Katara feel less inclined to talk about anything too personal. And everything she'd want to talk about with him was definitely _personal_ —the incident with her father, their conversation at the wedding reception, a certain question left unanswered…

Zuko noticed that Katara kept playing with her mother's necklace which usually meant one of three things—she was nervous, she was deep in thought, or she missed her mom. He took a gamble and guessed on the latter. It was about time for someone to break the silence between them.

"Are you thinking about her?"

"Hmm?" Katara squinted at him as if being woken from a dream.

"Your mom. You're touching your necklace a lot. I just wondered if…"

"Yeah, actually. How did you know?"

Zuko let out a fake cough. "I know a few things about you, Katara."

She smirked at him but was surprised to see the sincerity in his expression. "Well, I was thinking about something Suki said. That Sokka made her a necklace because his earliest memory was with Mom. I was trying to think of my earliest memory of her."

"And?"

"Well… they all kind of blend together. Like I can't think of a specific one anymore." Katara felt the tears pricking at the corner of her eyes. "I'm afraid that I'm losing her, Zuko. That pretty soon all I'll remember is that she died."

Zuko put an arm around her and pulled her in close to him partly to comfort her, and partly so they could speak more softly—more _intimately_. "But her death was a sacrifice, Katara. And _you_ are her living memory."

"I know," Katara whispered. "I just wish she was here. To see Sokka get married. Ya know, stuff like that."

"Of course."

"And I'll always have my necklace to remember her by," Katara added.

Zuko cleared his throat. "So, about that—I wasn't planning on making you one. I hope that's OK."

"It's more than OK. It's a Northern Water Tribe betrothal custom for arranged marriages. I'm still confused as to why Sokka made one."

"Well, I'm beginning to think that for your family, they're more about remembering those who have passed."

"I guess, but it's still kinda weird to give Suki something that reminds him of his mother."

"Oh. Is that what she said?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Sokka said something different, but maybe I shouldn't—"

"Zuko, what?"

"Well, you can't tell that I told you, but Sokka said that for him, it was symbolic of Yue."

"Umm, now that's even _more_ weird."

"Well, it kinda makes sense. He told me that he never really got over her death. That he was afraid to propose to Suki because he was afraid of losing her—like he lost Yue, like your dad lost your mom… so to him, the necklace symbolizes him letting go of his fear, I think."

"Oh. Wow. Sokka always puts on such a front, I hardly ever think of him as having fears… or feelings."

"What's that supposed to mean? Guys can have feelings! We just don't like to talk about them."

"Well, you apparently talked about them with Sokka."

" _He_ talked. Besides, he's had that necklace for forever."

"Is that what you're afraid of, too? Losing people? Or them leaving? Like you said at the reception..." _Maybe we can talk about the proposal now._

Before Zuko could answer, some commotion in the train car caught their attention. Then, a blue clad man started walking toward them flanked by two of Zuko's guards.

"Fire Lord Zuko, this man says he has an urgent message for Ambassador Katara from Chief Hakoda of the Southern Water Tribe," one of the guards said.

"It's fine. You can address her directly next time. No need to go through me." Zuko nodded to his guard and then to the man dressed in Water Tribe attire.

Katara didn't recognize him which struck her as odd. Maybe she didn't know _everyone_ in her tribe, but she knew almost everyone—and definitely those who worked for her father. Maybe this was somebody new. Maybe he was from the North. Hakoda had been increasing his interactions with their sister tribe, after all.

Katara wouldn't get a chance to find out. No words were exchanged, no message delivered. Instead, a Fire Nation guard came out of nowhere, took a jaw blade in his stomach, and managed to deliver a knockout blow to the Water Tribesman before keeling over in front of Katara. It took a few seconds for her to register what had happened, but once she did, she was on the floor next to him with her healing water. She recognized him as the guard she had bribed to keep quiet when she and Zuko had sneaked off to the botanical gardens.

After making sure Katara was OK, Zuko personally dragged the unconscious assassin to the other side of the train car where one of his guardsmen placed iron cuffs around the man's hands. Zuko checked his pockets for any clues about who he was or where he was from, but the only thing the tribesman appeared to be carrying was the jaw blade. Zuko shuddered at the sight of it. He had one just like it at home—a gift from Hakoda himself. _Who would want to kill Katara?_

Zuko rejoined his girlfriend— _fiancée?_ —and the guard who had just saved her. The Fire Nation man winced as she applied the healing techniques, but within no time, the flesh had been knit back together like new. The blade had caught just under where the breastplate armor ended—the weak spot.

"He should rest," Katara said as she recorked her waterskin. "He should not be on active duty today."

"I'd say Corporal Tamotsu has done more than his duty for today." Zuko helped lift the guardsman to take his seat.

"Thank you, my Lord. And Lady Katara, I owe you my life," Tamotsu said.

"Um, I think _I_ owe _you_ my life," Katara corrected. "How did you know?"

"I watched him when he came in from the adjoining car. There are certain signs to look for, Lady Katara," Tamotsu answered.

"Wow, well, thank you." Katara gave him the traditional bow which the guardsman returned. It hardly seemed enough, though.

Zuko then escorted Katara to the side of the train car opposite their new prisoner.

"I can't believe he would just risk his life for me like that. He doesn't even know me," Katara marveled as she trailed a finger across the pane of the window.

"They're trained to do that. It's part of the honor code of the Fire Nation elite guard." Zuko followed the path of her finger and then took in the view of the city's outskirts beyond.

"But I'm not even Fire Nation."

Determined— _lordly_ —golden eyes found hers. "Not yet."

* * *

Katara watched the Earth Kingdom terrain ripple and roll beneath them as the airship continued on its course for the Fire Nation. Zuko shuffled and sorted through a stack of scrolls thinking maybe he could get a head start on work.

"Ugh, things are going to be so busy when we get back home," he said out loud to no one in particular.

 _Home._ Katara was starting to wonder where that was exactly. Where did it really _feel_ like home? All she knew was that ever since a Fire Nation man had saved her life from one of her own, she felt very unsettled.

A guard approached them and bowed. "Sir, the prisoner is awake now. Would you like to question him?"

"Yes," Zuko said. "I'll be there shortly." He then turned to Katara. "Do you want to come? You don't have to, of course, but you might know the right questions to ask."

"Sure, I'll come," Katara deadpanned.

"Do you think he's from the North or South?" Zuko asked.

"I don't really know. Just that he's not a messenger from my dad."

"Well, right. That much is obvious. Unless he betrayed your father, too."

Zuko's eyes widened suddenly at the sound of guards shouting. Katara leaned over the ship's railing to see what was happening, but instead she caught a glimpse of something blue out of the corner of her eye. She didn't believe it at first—but whatever it was—it was falling hard and fast toward the ground.

Katara's fear was confirmed when a guard cut Zuko off at the ship's gangway. "Sir, the prisoner jumped ship!"

"What!? This is an airship… not a navy ship. Prisoners don't just jump ship. If you mean he escaped—"

"No, Zuko," Katara said with a gasp. "He literally jumped."

"Well, that answers the North or South question," the guard said grimly.

"What do you mean?" Zuko scanned the sky and ground below them, but there was nothing more to see.

"He was from the North," the guard continued. "They're the only ones who use suicide assassins. They must have assumed we would have killed him on the train. Which explains why he'd risk just walking right up to you in the middle of your guard."

"But that still leaves a lot of questions unanswered!" Katara pried herself from her frozen position near the railing and began approaching them. The airship didn't feel this unsteady before.

"It doesn't matter. He wouldn't have answered your questions anyway. I'm sorry, Lady Katara. I wish I could be of more service. If I may be dismissed..."

Katara expected Zuko to give his usual nod, but both Fire Lord and royal guardsman were looking at her. "Oh, umm, sure... I mean..." She bowed, then nodded, then made a noise of frustration. _What am I supposed to do? I'm the daughter of a Water Tribe Chief, not some..._

"Zuko! We have to send word to my father. He could be in trouble, too!" She was in his arms now, decidedly unconcerned about Fire Nation etiquette for the time being.

"We will. He's probably still in transit, so we'll send a messenger hawk to track him down. And we'll do even better, remember? We're planning a visit to the South Pole soon. We'll find out if Chief Hakoda thinks he needs military reinforcements. Hopefully this was just an isolated event, but it sounds like it could be more than that." Zuko didn't want to assume the worst, but it was ingrained in his thinking as Fire Lord—or perhaps from his life in general.

The idea of military involvement was equally comforting and terrifying to Katara. She was still shaken by how completely safe she felt here among Fire Nation soldiers, perhaps even some of the same ones she had fought against a few years ago, who knew? But now when she conjured up the face of the enemy, it was not someone like Tamotsu— _or spirits, it had even been Zuko once upon a time_ —now, it was this man from the North Pole. Just when she was starting to think her prejudices against the Northerners were unfounded, the seed of distrust had been replanted. She felt more uneasy about Malina, too. Annoyance with the woman's antics as her father's new love interest was one thing—suspicions about her ulterior motives was another. But Katara had never considered that Hakoda's life could be in danger. She couldn't wait until they were back at the palace so she could send a messenger hawk straight away. Clinging to that notion—and Zuko—were the only things that gave her a foothold for the rest of the flight _home._

The airship landed near the military hangers, and much to Zuko's dismay, they took palanquins back to the palace. The guards insisted on it for the sake of safety, and he could hear the echo of his uncle's voice—which meant they really had no choice in the matter. Katara had never been in one, and on any other day, she might have been intrigued by such an indulgence. But not today. She was anxious to send off her inquiry about the Water Tribe Chief's whereabouts and well-being as soon as possible. The palanquin ride was painstakingly slow.

When they finally reached the palace grounds, Jin ran out to meet them.

"Zuko! Katara!" she panted, obviously out of breath from running. She was holding a letter, and by the frantic expression on her face, Katara feared bad news from her father had already arrived.

Jin shoved the letter into Zuko's hands. "It's Arik! He's been kidnapped!"


	29. High Tide

"The letter says for me to go alone, Katara. Or else he'll kill Arik. You know he means it." Zuko stopped pacing in front of his desk to watch the words swim together on the offending piece of parchment. He wished they would just wash away.

"But I can help you!" Katara protested with heat rising to her face.

"No! You can't!"

"What!?" Katara put her hands on her hips and glared— _flared_ —at him.

Zuko felt a huge wave of frustration. "I mean, I know you _can_. I won't let you."

" _What_!?" Her eyes narrowed, ready to burst with her anger.

"I'm sorry! I meant—aw, fuck it. The letter says—"

"I don't care what the letter says, Zuko. I'm going with you!"

"Katara, _please_." He placed his hands on her shoulders as if trying to stay afloat. "Don't do this. I can handle Satoru. Just stay here. I'll be back soon."

She held her scolding— _scalding_ —posture. "But what if Arik's hurt? What if you need a healer? What if _you_ get hurt…"

"Katara, I can't…" He leaned in for her to buoy him. He was so tired of fighting—yet, he couldn't surrender, not in this.

She pushed him away—the fight within her now raging like wildfire. "You can't just leave me behind! Is this how it's going to be? You going off to do Fire Lord business with me stuck at home?" _Home. It really is here in the Fire Nation now, isn't it?_ The realization burned a little. _  
_

Zuko folded his arms against his chest. They weren't getting anywhere like this. They were just treading water. "This hardly constitutes as business. Satoru is crazy. It's too much of a risk."

"Which is why you need my help!"

"No! I need you to—"

"You need me to _what_ , Zuko?"

"I…NEED YOU, OK?"

At this admission, her flames were doused. "I'm here. I'm right here."

"No, I mean, I can't lose you." The look he gave her nearly took her breath away—like he was _drowning_. "Katara, you were right, on the train, I _am_ afraid of losing people. But my biggest fear is becoming like my father, and I feel like you're the only thing keeping me centered right now, and if I lose you, then my worst fears will come true. I can't… I won't make it…without you, and I know it's unfair to expect you to—"

"OK, OK. I get it. I'll stay." She reached out toward him.

"Thank you." His words were muffled in her hair as he crashed into her warm embrace.

"But if you're not back after an hour, I'm coming for you!"

"I'll be back. I promise."

Katara went rigid—like ice—before pulling away from him. Her father had said the same thing when he left for war. She could almost hear those words echo across the vast sea where she stood at the water's edge so many times just waiting for him.

"No." She took a few steps back. "No! You don't get to say that! That's… an empty promise. You're not the only one afraid of losing people, Zuko!"

The depth of defeat returned to his eyes. "I gotta go, Katara. I'm sorry."

She couldn't watch him leave. She felt like there was an ocean between them already. She couldn't just stay here like that— _stranded._

 _Dad never came back…_ _I went to him instead._

* * *

She found a small faction of Zuko's guardsmen gathered in the common area of the military barracks. She recognized a few of them but was disappointed that Tamotsu wasn't there.

"Lady Katara, are you lost?" one of the guards asked.

"No, I'm following Zuko."

"Well, you're on the right track. He was just here. Took off on an eel hound not too long ago."

"No, I mean, I'm following him. To wherever he is going. So, I need an eel hound, too."

"Umm, I'm sorry, my lady, but I don't think we're supposed to—"

Katara scanned the group for familiar eyes and then locked hers with his when she saw them. "Fire Lord Zuko has deferred to me before on my own interactions with his guards. This should be no different." She was addressing the man from the airship with whom Zuko had allowed her some authority. There had been a similar exchange on the train, but she didn't see that particular guard at the moment.

Another man attempted to speak under his breath, but Katara heard him anyway. "Yeah, I heard he proposed in Ba Sing Se, so we better get used to taking orders from her."

Before she had a chance to retort, a new voice entered the scene. "Does Fire Lord Zuko know you're following him?" It was Corporal Tamotsu.

"Uhh, yes…" she answered automatically. "I mean, no." She trusted these men, and she wanted them to trust her, too.

"Well, the eel hounds can be a bit feisty if you've never ridden one before. A mongoose lizard would be better for tracking," Tamotsu explained without skipping a beat.

Katara shuddered. She hated those things. Not only did they remind her of Azula, but now they also conjured up raw memories of a near-fatal zipline ride followed by another brush with death in the Ember Island jungle. And here they were facing a life threatening situation yet again. So, she had to do it—for Zuko. _Because that is apparently what we do. Live and almost die for each other._

Tamotsu could sense her uneasiness as he prepared the mount for her. "Do you want a few guards to go with you?"

"No, not yet. But if we're not back after an hour, then will you come? I'm headed to the Black Cliffs."

"The Black Cliffs? It will take you an hour just to get there. No wonder Fire Lord Zuko took the eel hound," Tamotsu mused.

"So… will you come? Please?"

"I will do anything you ask, Lady Katara. But just so you know, my fellow guardsman was right. It won't be long before you can order it."

She lifted herself onto the back of the mongoose lizard. With a white-knuckled grip on the reins and a slight tilt of her head, she said, "Thank you, Corporal, for your help. And just because one can make orders, does not mean he or she is exempt from human decency. _Common_ courtesy is not just for commoners. We all deserve respect."

Tamotsu bowed deeply. "I would be most honored to serve you as our Fire Lady. Go with Agni."

* * *

Katara didn't remember until she got there, but the Black Cliffs had served as the rendezvous point before their invasion on the Day of Black Sun. It was also where Aang had experienced nightmares and sleep deprivation in his anxiety about facing the Fire Lord. She recalled thinking it was a beautiful island at the time, lush and green, and surrounded by her element, which was always a plus. But now, it seemed very foreboding, nightmarish, and… dark.

It was just after sundown which was when the letter said for Zuko to meet Satoru to discuss the terms of ransom and Arik's release. Katara's mongoose lizard had crossed land and water with impeccable speed and stealth. She left it tied to a tree to rest and graze at grass and bugs while she crept near the edge of the cliff—toward the voices the wind carried her way.

Zuko and Satoru were on the narrow beach below, their bodies poised for a fight, but their conversation surprisingly as light as the spring breeze.

"Just tell me what you want, Satoru, and nobody has to get hurt," Zuko said coolly.

"It's Fire Sage Satoru. I may not be High Sage anymore, but you can't get rid of me that easily," was the emotionless response.

"I never intended to get rid of you. You left before I had a chance to talk to you."

"Well, we're talking now, aren't we?"

"Yes. So, let's just keep this between us. There's no need to harm a defenseless child. He's not even from the Fire Nation, so—"

"Precisely, _Fire Lord_. He shouldn't be here, so I intend to get rid of him." A snarl crept into Satoru's voice.

Katara frantically scanned the beach wondering if maybe she could free Arik while Zuko kept Satoru occupied with conversation. But she didn't see the boy anywhere.

"You forgot that I also sit on the board of advisors for the Academy," Satoru continued. "Lady Za Je petitioned for us to enroll a new student this week. She said he had promising talent, but that it would also set a precedent for international relations. That he could teach our students to value different people from all over the world…"

"That sounds… interesting," Zuko said warily.

"It should be the Fire Nation teaching the world! Not the other way around!"

Katara could swear the wind picked up at the same time as Satoru's voice echoed through the cliffside. She shivered.

Zuko remained calm. "That is a different way of thinking, Satoru. And not my way of thinking. This is why I had to remove you from the council. The Fire Nation is moving forward, the world is changing, and Arik represents that whether you like it or not. Now, tell me what you want."

"I want my seat on the council, of course."

"I just told you—"

"And I want Lady Za Je to be removed from your council and the school board."

"Fire Sage Satoru, I'm sorry but—"

"And I want any half-breeds in your employment to leave, including your water-bitch girlfriend, because all of them are a threat to our nation's purity and greatness. Too many of us worked so hard for this before you were even born, _Fire Lord_ , so somebody has to keep you in check before it's too late."

"Where is Arik?" Zuko's patience was growing thin.

"Do we have a deal?"

"I don't make deals with arrogant, dishonorable assholes. Now, Where. Is. Arik!"

"Well, if we don't have a deal, I don't know how else to settle this. But you're wasting your time, Fire Lord. The tide is coming in."

Then, Katara saw him. Arik was in the water, a good ways out from the shore. It was hard to tell because of the distance, but he appeared to be bound and gagged. She suspected he was weighted down somehow, too. He was moving, so still alive, thankfully, but not putting up a fight or trying to swim.

Zuko had seen him, too, and started yelling his name and running toward the water. He was cut off by a blast of fire, though.

"We still haven't settled this, Fire Lord!" Satoru shouted.

Zuko looked down at his own fists that had flared up in response. "Fine. Agni Kai."

"Breaking your own law? Now who's the dishonorable one?"

Zuko didn't even take time for the ceremonial formalities in starting off the fire duel. He punched several fire blasts toward Satoru which were deflected with ease.

And so the fight was on. Katara watched in horror until she couldn't watch anymore. When she closed her eyes, though, she felt something she hadn't noticed until that point. _The moon._ It was full.

True, this meant she had more power as a waterbender, but it also meant the tide would be higher, too. And the spring tides were always the highest. When she looked down at Arik's small frame bobbing in the water, the level had already risen significantly. She glanced back at the fire blasts on the beach. Could she sneak down and help Arik without Satoru noticing?

No. There probably wasn't enough time. And even if there was, she had promised herself never to go near an Agni Kai ever again. Not after…

 _Oh, fuck. Satoru can do lightening. It's OK. Zuko can redirect it. He'll be fine. I need to focus on Arik._

The tide was up to the boy's shoulders by now, and he was visibly panicking. She couldn't hear him, but she imagined he was screaming even through the gag. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, summoning the power of the moon. Together, they were all-powerful. And with that power, she, too, could control the tides. She could hold back the water until Zuko won his fight.

Katara tried to stay focused on the sea—her element—where she felt in command. She saw Arik relax as the water dipped back below his waist as a result of her efforts. She tried to focus on him—her patient—because she was a healer, and this was where she was needed right now. But her ears and her heart betrayed her, and when she chanced a glance back at the beach, she feared maybe Zuko was losing.

And then she feared she was losing, too.

She also had the power to end the fight, but she would have to risk Arik's life to go to Zuko's aid. She remembered Aunt Wu's prediction. "You must decide… and lives will be in your hands. Choose wisely."

But there was another prophecy that came to mind. She was the power of the moon, the power over the blood. Roku had said it and promised that his bloodline would continue through her. _I can do this. I choose... to control my own destiny.  
_

With one hand guiding the tides, she directed the other back toward the beach. Before Satoru had a chance to send another bolt of lightening in Zuko's direction, Katara cut off the blood flow to his brain. It wasn't a fatal blow, just something that would knock him out. She'd used the same technique with Takeo on Ember Island. She immediately put all her efforts back into pushing back the tides, but the rush of exhaustion was already starting to take its toll.

A stunned Zuko approached Satoru cautiously before he heard Katara's voice ring out over the cliffs. "Zuko! Go get Arik!"

She waited until she saw them both safely back on the beach before she collapsed on the soft grass. She stared up at the moon, willing herself to stay conscious at least until Zuko could come to her. She then noticed that it wasn't quite full. Another day or two... She started to fade in and out, waxing and waning. She thought she could hear Zuko calling her name. When she felt strong arms finally lifting her from the ground, the last thing she saw was Tamotsu's face.

* * *

Dr. Yang watched as the young Fire Lord paced between the rooms of the royal hospital suite. Both patients were resting, and both patients were going to be fine. She wasn't sure if she could say the same for Zuko if he kept up such a fuss.

"Come have some tea," she said when he made another pass through the sitting area.

He only glared at her in response and took a few more fretful steps toward Katara's room.

"It wasn't a question. Doctor's orders," Dr. Yang clarified.

If it had been anyone else, his mother even, Zuko might have played the Fire Lord card just then. But a flood of memories spent in these rooms in the care of this doctor reminded him that she really was the best at what she did—and always had his best interest at heart.

The memories had revisited Dr. Yang, too. "You know, Zuko, I've seen a lot of things within these walls."

He nodded and slowly sipped his tea, a calming blend—he was not surprised about this in the least.

"At first, seeing you pace around like that reminded me of your father… when Azula was born…"

That comment surprised him, though. "Oh."

"But then I realized that wasn't it at all," the doctor continued. "You reminded me of yourself. When Azula was hurt. Do you remember that?"

"No. Or well, sort of. I remember talking to Mom about it afterward."

"Zuko, you've always cared about other people. And you always will. It's your nature. It's who you are. And you're nothing like Ozai. He only cares for himself. I hope you aren't still worried about becoming like him, because you won't."

"It makes sense… what you're saying, I guess. But I'm afraid that if I lose the people I care about, then all that will be left is myself and all this pain. Then what will I become?"

"Zuko, there will always be pain and loss. But you have overcome before, and you will do it again. You will find hope and press on. You will find strength and move forward. That's also who you are. You never give up."

"Sometimes I get so tired, though. Like giving up would be so much easier. Now that I'm Fire Lord, some of my fa—Ozai's ways actually make sense. I would never do it that way, but it is so much harder to do the right thing. I dunno, does it make me crazy to say I can actually _relate_ to him? Maybe I am more like—"

"Zuko, stop! Repeat after me. 'I am not my father.'"

"Uhh, okay. I am not my father." It was easy enough to say. He'd said it countless times before trying to convince himself of it.

"Say it again."

"I am not my father."

Dr. Yang nodded. "Now, say, 'I am a good leader.'"

"What? Why?"

"Just say it."

"I am—I _try_ to be a good leader."

She shook her head. "No, that's not what I said."

"FINE. I am a good leader. Happy now?"

"No. Now say, I am a good person."

He rolled his eyes. "I am—ughhhh!" _Why am I so bad at admitting I'm good?_

"Say it."

"I'm a good person." The words were barely above a whisper.

"There, now how do you feel?"

"Like a three-year-old. Are you done barking orders at me, _doctor_?"

"No, I have just one more. Go get some rest."

Zuko wanted to protest—he wasn't a child, he didn't need her telling him what to do or say, and he resented the idea of taking a nap—but admittedly, he was exhausted. And when he awoke sometime later, he not only felt more rested, but he felt better overall. Better as in, _good._ He repeated the doctor's words in his mind with one slight revision.

 _I am a good leader. I am a good person. I have no father._

* * *

Naturally, Katara would wake up when he was gone. "Dr. Yang! Where's Zuko?"

"I sent him to rest. He stayed at your bedside all night and paced about for half the day. He was a mess." The doctor began checking her vitals as they spoke.

"That sounds like him. And Arik?"

"He'll be fine. He'd be worse if he weren't a firebender, but the chill of the water got to him. His body temperature is still too low, but he's under the warming blankets and should be better within a day or two."

"What about Satoru?" Katara winced when she said his name.

"Oh. Um… I haven't checked on him since he came in, actually. He's in another doctor's care. They're not sure what happened to him, exactly."

"Oh. It was me. I cut off blood flow to his brain… but only for a second, just so he would lose consciousness. I didn't want to kill him, and it shouldn't have hurt him…"

"Katara, you have to be careful about these things, especially when it comes to the brain. It's the body's command center. One wrong move and a person could lose control over…"

"Wait… did something happen?"

"From what we can tell so far, he's lost his ability to form coherent speech. I'm not sure what other cognitive repercussions there are."

"Wow, I never meant to… the other guy, on Ember Island, nothing like that happened…" _He had no problem forming words afterward._ She remembered how Takeo carried on about the war and losing his only son. "Dr. Yang, does Fire Sage Satoru have any family?" _Maybe his loss fueled his hate as well._

"He has a son. Also named Satoru, but they're estranged. The younger was an engineer who worked in weaponry during the war and lost his job when the war ended. His uncle, Satoru's brother, had a startup business in the Earth Kingdom and offered the young man a job. Fire Sage Satoru disapproved of his brother, Loban, conducting business with an entrepreneur outside of the Fire Nation, and told his son that if he went to work there, he would disown him."

"Wow, that's… quite a story. Why is he so… against the other nations?"

"The Fire Sages were traditionally deeply spiritual in their roles to the Fire Nation. Fire Lord Azulon paid them little attention during his reign, and Fire Lord Ozai stripped them of their authority during his. My guess is that when Zuko reestablished their positions of power, Satoru took the spirituality aspect a little too far. He thinks the Fire Nation is blessed by Agni, that we are the chosen people, and that all others are inferior. It's an ancient belief system that Sozin based his war campaign on, and after a hundred years of conquest, such notions don't go away so easily, I'm afraid."

"Wow, that's—" Katara squeezed her eyes shut. The throbbing sensation had returned to her head.

"That's enough Fire Nation history for today. Here, have some tea. You need to rest and recover."

While Zuko received the calming blend to help him relax, Dr. Yang gave Katara the sun poppy tea which put her right to sleep.

* * *

 _Soft seal  
Little seal  
Swimming in the sea  
Happy seal  
Swim to me  
Time to go to sleep_

"Dad?"

"No, it's me, Zuko."

"Dad, I'm so sorry. I couldn't… save her. I wasn't fast enough."

"Hey, shhhhhh. Nobody blames you for—"

"Maybe if I would have, I don't know… I could have—Dad? I'm sorry."

"Katara! It's me, Zuko! And you have nothing to be sorry for!"

"Zuko?"

"Yeah. I'm here. It's me."

"But where's my dad?"

"Umm, I don't know. Probably on a boat somewhere headed for the South Pole."

Katara rubbed her eyes, finally shaking the effects of the sun poppy and coming into full awareness. "The letter! I forgot to send the letter! We had to go save Arik… there wasn't any time… we have to warn him… we have to send a letter straight away!"

"Shhhh. I'll go send one right now, OK?" He gently pushed her back down when she tried to sit up. Katara had never been a good patient, and he expected her to fight him on this.

But she didn't. "Tell him about the assassin."

"OK."

"And not to trust anyone from the North!"

"I'll tell him of our suspicions… yes." _Perhaps I'll phrase it more diplomatically._

"And that we're coming to visit, right?"

"Of course." He waited to see if she wanted to add anything else, but when she appeared to be finished, he kissed her forehead and strode toward the door.

"Zuko!"

"Hmm?"

"Will you also tell him I'm sorry… in the letter?" Her eyes looked glazed over again, like they did when she first woke up.

"Katara, you are not responsible for your mother's death. You don't need to apologize—"

The fog lifted, and the tears formed. "No, it's not that. My dad and I were fighting in Ba Sing Se. I just don't want our last words to be about that. I just want him to know…that I love him."

"Katara…" But her eyes were closed, and there was nothing more to say. Zuko didn't know what they fought about, but he knew it didn't matter as far as Hakoda was concerned. Good leaders wouldn't let one disagreement destroy the relationship. Good people loved their children no matter what. And good fathers would never make their children fight for their honor. A good father would honor his children with his love.

 _I am a good leader. I am a good person. And even though I have no father, I will be a good father someday._

* * *

 **A/N:** A random note on naming OCs... the way I used to do it was pick out minor character names from canon. This is how I came up with Arik and his parents, Shinu and Lian. Then at some point, I started looking up historical Japanese names and their respective meanings. This is where I got Takeo (violent/warrior), Tamotsu (defender/protector), and Satoru (enlightened/persuasive).

But then I read _The Rift_ and saw there was a Satoru in canon! I had no idea, but since I like to make interesting connections, I decided to make that Satoru related to my Satoru. This side plot just kinda fell into my lap! I don't think the events from _The Rift_ will play any part in my fic, but I may have plans for Satoru Junior... (Besides, since when have I been a stickler for canon?)

Speaking of _The Rift_ , I have to revisit Toph for a minute. She kinda got the shaft in _Rising Tide_. (Aang did, too, but that's to be expected in Zutara fanfiction, I think.) So, Toph is in Two Rivers (future Republic City) spending time with Arik's family for now. I think she'll look into starting her metalbending academy soon. She went to King Kuei's wedding but ended up staying with her parents. (They do _some_ reconciliation in _Not Stalking Firelord Zuko_ , so this wouldn't be completely random.) It was probably better that way, since other accommodations in Ba Sing Se seemed a bit _awkward_ , no?

There's a lot going on in this chapter and a lot I could say about it! But I won't... I'll let the story speak for itself and work on wrapping up the last chapter of _Rising Tide_! What a wild ride!


	30. Blood Moon Rising

Zuko was hesitant to include Katara's personal message in his letter to Hakoda. Partly because he didn't think it was necessary—her father knew she loved him, and she didn't need to apologize. And partly because he didn't _want_ it to be necessary—she would see her father again and could tell him these things in person. _Right?_

But he'd promised her, and therefore added those lines at the end of the letter like a devoted boyfriend should. _Boyfriend?_ _Fiancé?_ Zuko wished they'd had a proper conversation about what happened in Ba Sing Se. Truth be told, with everything they'd been through together combined with the prophecy, they both _knew_ they would get married someday. Zuko had wanted to make it more official— _more special_ —than that, though.

There was another conversation he wanted to have, too. He wasn't sure of the Water Tribe customs on the matter. He didn't even know how such things worked in the Fire Nation. King Kuei had been the one to spark the question in his mind when he told him about going to Song's village to ask her mother for her hand in marriage. Zuko's immediate reaction to that had been, "But why would you need to do that? You're the king. You can take whomever you want for a wife."

Zuko would never forget Kuei's words. "People are not property for the taking, Fire Lord Zuko. I asked her mother to honor their relationship and to seek her blessing for ours."

Zuko's quill hovered over the parchment. He wanted to ask Hakoda. He wanted nothing more than the Water Tribe Chief's favor and blessing. _But what if he doesn't…_

No, not in a letter, he decided. He would do it in person when they visit the South Pole.

He stared down at the words, watching them blur together as he lost himself in his thoughts. He knew so little about his parents' marriage other than his recent discovery of the abuse his father inflicted upon his mother, and he figured he didn't even know the half of that. Ursa had told him that their marriage wasn't arranged, but more like engineered. Yet he wasn't entirely sure what that meant, either.

Unexpectedly, the next thought hit him with a wave of emotion. He missed her. She should not have stayed in Ba Sing Se. He should have insisted that she come home. _What if she never comes back? Oh Agni, I've lost her… again._

He rolled up the letter to Hakoda and started searching for his seal. He'd be damned if Katara lost her only living parent, too. As he searched through desk drawers, opening them with force and then slamming them shut again, the boiling sensation in his blood was building, his bridled temper rearing for release.

"Where is it!?" He started pulling things out of drawers at this point. Clean parchment. Ink wells. Quills. Some time keeping device his uncle had given him. A few packets of tea leaves. A half-eaten bag of fireflakes. Scraps of paper with scribbled notes on them. Some more official-looking documents that probably needed to be filed somewhere. Dr. Wang's journal…

He hesitated. _No, I need the seal to send the letter._

He finally found it in the last drawer along with something else he'd lost track of in recent weeks—the letters his mother had given him for his birthday. His aching heart skipped a beat. He missed her _so_ much then… like he missed her now. If only he'd had these letters… if only he had known she was out there somewhere, alive and well... for the most part.

Zuko quickly sealed the scroll for Hakoda and handed it off to the guard who stood post at his office door. He poured a shot of whiskey, set a fire in the hearth, and settled down in his plush chair with the bundle of letters in his lap. He took a deep breath, a long sip, and then read the first one.

 _Zuko, my love,_

 _First of all, I want you to know that I am okay. I don't know when I'll be able to see you again, but I need you to be strong. You have always been a fighter, but I think some of your hardest fights are yet to come._

 _When I left, I told you to never forget who you are. What I mean is that you can be who you choose to be. Not what someone else chooses for you. Destiny is a funny thing. I never thought mine would lead me here, and there are so many things I wish I would have done differently. But where you are concerned, Zuko, I have no regrets. Everything I have done, I've done to protect you._

 _I didn't want to have to warn you in a letter, but you cannot trust your father. He does not have your best interest at heart. In fact, he is no father to you at all. I hated having to leave you with him, but when you need advice, go find Uncle Iroh. He has helped me over the years, in more ways than one, and he will help you, too._

 _I honestly don't know if this letter will ever find its way to you, but it gives me comfort just writing it. I think about you every day, and I wish for more than anything in the world that we could be together again. I love you._

 _-Mom_

Well, that was interesting. Zuko wondered what he would have thought about it back then as opposed to now. Would his eleven-year-old self heed her words if he'd somehow been able to receive her letters? Would it have made a difference? He decided to open the second letter in the bunch.

 _Dearest Zuko,_

 _I just want you to know that I am settled now and working. It helps give me a sense of purpose, although the greatest sense of purpose I ever felt was being a mother. Someday I hope to explain the circumstances under which I had to leave, because I would never ever choose to not be your mother anymore. I hope that if we see each other again, you will remember the times we had together, not this time that we were forced apart._

 _I am grateful for your uncle's connections that have allowed me to find a new life and new opportunities. I hope that Uncle Iroh is doing well especially after the loss of his son. He promised me he would look out for you, but maybe you should look out for him, too._

 _Can you also look out for Azula? At times, it will seem like she has it all together, but I assure you, she doesn't. And it will definitely seem like she has your father's favor, but I assure you, this is not in her best interest. You've always been protective of her. So, just be who you are. Loyal and loving and long-suffering. Your time will come, Zuko. It's in your blood. And by that, I don't mean royal blood._

 _Stay true. I love you.  
-Mom_

Given what Zuko knew now, he could read between the lines and make certain connections he hadn't before. So, apparently Iroh knew Dr. Jung long before they interviewed him for the position of Azula's doctor. Also, his mother must have been referring to the prophecy about Roku's bloodline, and bitterness welled up inside him at the fact that _everyone_ seemed to know about it except him. He also felt a twinge of guilt for having neglected Azula lately. He really should go visit her soon. He thumbed through the stack of letters, suspecting there was maybe about thirty in all. He poured himself another glass of whiskey before opening the third one.

But then he stopped. His mother's words about his uncle also struck him. Something about connections and promises. He knew he felt better that they were in Ba Sing Se together right now, but he had never known that they had been so close. He crossed over to his desk and picked up Dr. Wang's journal from the pile he'd created in his frenzied search for his seal. He threw back the rest of his whiskey in one swallow and settled back down for another read.

* * *

Interviews with Iroh  
By Dr. Wang  
Session 3

General Iroh serves jasmine tea today and says it is his favorite. I am still unsure as to whether I am fascinated or appalled with this man, but as long as he is willing to speak to me, I am willing to listen. Today, he wants to talk about love.

"After my impromptu Agni Kai with my father and brother, relations between the three of us became strained at best. Ozai continued his political song and dance in trying to gain our father's favor, but meanwhile, I became quite invested elsewhere. It was my first taste of true love. And oh, how sweet it was. Giya swept me off my feet from the moment I saw her, but she wouldn't let me win her heart so easily. The day I married her was better than all the Agni Kai victories in all the world. I would take Ba Sing Se in her name a hundred times over if I could.

I reconciled with my father on the day that I lost Giya in childbirth. He didn't come out and say it, but he knew that kind of pain, and he wouldn't have wished it on anyone, especially his own son. Meanwhile, I knew the kind of pain he had inflicted on Ozai in the wake of our mother's death, and I would never wish that for _my_ own son. I would choose the "higher path," which is what his name means. Lu Ten is my life. He is currently training to join the military and will soon be serving by my side.

Then came the prophecy. One of the Fire Sages had contact with Roku on the Winter Solstice and told my father that our family would be promised great power through the Avatar's bloodline. My father began his search for Roku's descendants, and I didn't know how serious he was until he presented a woman to me to become my new betrothed. She was Lady Ursa of Hira'a, daughter of Jinzuk and Rina, and granddaughter of Roku and Ta Min. Don't get me wrong, she was beautiful and all, but I just wasn't ready.

My hesitancy infuriated my father. He threatened to take away my birthright if I wouldn't marry her. Ozai must have known this, because he began pursuing Ursa. He was much younger than me and very charming, so she fell for him. It was too sickening for me to watch as the events unfolded before my eyes. I stayed until the wedding was over, and then promptly went back to war.

It was my success on the battlefont that regained my father's favor this time. He seemed to have forgotten his threat in regard to my birthright and meanwhile expressed extreme disapproval of Ozai. I had no idea why until I had taken leave and discovered just how terrible my brother treated his wife. I knew then that I should have married her instead. I could have protected her from this. Not a day goes by that I don't regret what happened. I was too scared at the time, but I could have promised her a better life. And her children—I'd give my life before I let anything happen to them."

* * *

Zuko slammed the book shut and let it drop to the floor. The blood boiling sensation was raging now, his pattern of breathing matching it. His uncle's words reminded him of something, of someone… _Dr. Jung_. He had said something so eerily similar about his mother back in Ba Sing Se. And his mother's own words disturbed him, too. How his uncle had helped her _in more ways than one_. How he had connections. How they made promises to each other. How they were betrothed once.

"FUCK!" Zuko threw his drink against the wall. Glass shattered and so did his trust of the only two people in his family he thought he knew. _I am so fucking tired of all the family secrets!_

Were his mother and uncle really supposed to be together?

Were they ever actually _together_?

Are they together now?

It all sounded crazy, but that was just it. His family was CRAZY. And Zuko thought he was about to go crazy from all the craziness.

So, he did. He lost it. Fire shot from his fists across the room leaving blackened streaks on the bare wall, the one he'd been meaning to decorate for some time now. The plush velvet chairs were singed and smoking, but they had not caught fire, yet. He could smell burning wood coming from the direction of his desk, but it didn't appear to be ablaze, either. He let out a cry of frustration, flames escaping his mouth as he did. He picked up Dr. Wang's journal in one hand and his mother's bundle of letters in the other. He surveyed the fire in the hearth with intensity, preparing to throw them in when he heard a knock at the door.

"NOT NOW," he growled.

"But sir," the guard implored. "There's a Miss Lin here to see you. She says it's urgent."

 _Lin? Who the hell is… oh, fuck._

It was the reality check that he needed. He quickly crossed over to his desk, shoved the journal, letters, and other contents back into the drawers as best he could, and then extinguished any and all fire in the room. He took several deep breaths to try and calm himself. He hoped that Lee wasn't with her. "OK, show her in."

As expected, Lin gave the room the same wary look she did when she had been here before, and Zuko felt his stomach lurch into his throat at the sight of her. He thought he understood her fear, but now that he had some idea of what his mother had endured, he knew he could only imagine. But Lin quickly regained her composure and made eye contact with him which was something she hadn't done before.

"Fire Lord Zuko, I need your help," she said.

"Of course. I gave you my word. Anything," he replied.

"It's Lee." She hesitated. "He's—"

"Oh Agni, is everything okay? He's not still sick, is he? We have the best doctors here at the royal hospital. Katara is a healer, and Dr. Yang… she's saved my life loads of times…well, not _loads_ of times, but sometimes…I mean, I don't want to worry you too much, but he'll be in good hands, and—"

"Stop. He doesn't need a doctor." She swallowed hard. "It's just… he had a temper tantrum this morning. And he firebended."

"Oh."

Lin's eyes passed over Zuko's angry marks he'd made on the wall. "I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have come here. I just don't know what to do. The fire, it—"

"I know. It's okay." _It's not okay. Why is fire always associated with fear?_

"So, what now?" Lin bit her bottom lip and wrapped her arms tightly around herself.

"Well, he needs training. An untrained firebender is a dangerous firebender."

"Okay."

"And he'll need to learn to control his temper. An angry firebender is a dangerous firebender."

"Right."

"But other than that, a firebender is just a firebender. There's nothing to be afraid of." He shrugged. _Why_ c _an't it be that simple?_

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Except that you're a trained firebender, and it looks like you just threw a temper tantrum, too."

Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose. "Umm, yeah. So, I had a bad day…" _Or a bad life, however you want to look at it._

Her expression softened. "It's okay. I'm just kidding. At least you take your anger out on walls, and not…"

Zuko looked away from her and at his charcoal handiwork so as to avoid acknowledging the implication about other ways to take out one's anger. "Yeah, I've been meaning to redecorate in here anyway."

She laughed. "Seems like appropriate decor to me... for a Fire Lord."

He looked down at his fists, the ones that had been flaming hot mere minutes ago. _Yeah, but totally inappropriate behavior._

She cleared her throat. "So, you can find someone to train Lee?"

"Of course." Although he had no clue who. It had already been a struggle to find a teacher for Arik.

"Would you mind talking to him? He's waiting in the garden with Katara. I think it really scared him when it happened."

"He's with Katara? She's awake?" He was suddenly filled with a combination of joy, hope, and relief. So, it was one of those full range of emotions kind of days. He had them more often than not.

Throughout their conversation, Lin had remained surprisingly steady despite her own painful past and her protectiveness of Lee. "Yeah. Katara said some really helpful things, but it might be best coming from you. Since you're a firebender and all."

"So… he still doesn't know…"

"No."

* * *

"Hey, Lee. How are you doing?" Seeing the boy and Katara together further fueled that same sense of hope Zuko had felt just a few minutes before.

"I'm good. Miss Katara told me a story about the Avatar. Did you know he can do fire, water, earth, and air?"

"I did know that. He's a friend of mine, actually."

Lee's eyes widened. "B-b-because you're the Fire Lord. Mommy told me." The boy then caught his mother's expectant look, collected himself, and gave Zuko a well-rehearsed traditional bow.

Zuko smiled and nodded. "So, I can do fire only. What about you?"

Lee shrugged and looked away.

Zuko perceived that Lin was about to scold her son, so he quickly continued. "The first time I found out I was a firebender, I was in this very garden. And I accidentally set a bed of snapdragons on fire. I was so upset because I had burned the beautiful flowers, but my mother told me not to worry, that new flowers would grow up from their ashes."

"Mommy doesn't like the fire." Lee glanced sideways at Lin.

Zuko took the boy's hand and walked away from the other two women, nodding back at them for reassurance. In a hushed voice, he asked, "Do you think that if you do the fire, that means your mother won't like you?"

Lee slowly nodded his head and whispered, "Does fire make me a bad person?"

"No. Fire by itself can be helpful and beautiful. It can also be dangerous and destructive. It doesn't make you into the person you are. The person you choose to be will determine how you use the fire. Does that make sense?"

"No."

"Okay, well, it will make more sense when you're older, I guess. Lee, you can be a good person and a firebender. You just have to work hard at it. Can you do that?"

"I think so. So, I'm not a bad person?"

Zuko now understood the purpose Dr. Yang's little exercise. Even though it had actually helped him, he had initially considered it more appropriate for three-year-olds. _Well, here's a three-year-old. And here goes nothing._ "No. Okay, repeat after me. I am a good person."

"I am a good person."

"I am a firebender."

"I am a firebender."

"I am a good person AND a firebender."

"I am a good person AND a firebender."

"Good. Now all you need are some lessons. I'll make the arrangements with your mom, okay?"

* * *

Lin and Lee ended up staying for dinner. Lee acted a little wary of Zuko presumably because he now knew of his Fire Lord status. Zuko wished it didn't have to be that way, but he was grateful for a chance to see the boy again all the same. Lee absolutely adored Jin, though, and Zuko enjoyed just sitting back and watching their antics—the young firebender's contagious laughter, Lin's rare but genuine smile, and Katara— _Spirits, I love her._ Even though a few people were missing, Zuko knew that if he filled his dinner table—and his life—with these types of people, he would feel at home. They were an odd sort—war-worn, broken, and lost—but they were his family.

He couldn't convince Lin to stay and take the open gardener's position. So, he sent a guard to escort them back home to the harbor village and promised to send word once he'd found a firebending teacher for Lee. Then, with darkness falling, he and Katara took a walk in the gardens.

Zuko cupped his hand over where her arm was hooked around his elbow. "I'm actually surprised Dr. Yang let you leave. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Of course, I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, let's see... there was the whole stunt with the tides… and the bloodbending…"

"So what you mean to say is… I'm more than okay. I'm pretty amazing."

"Yes, Katara. You're amazing. And hella stubborn, too."

She smirked at him, grabbed his hand, and began pulling him in a certain direction. He could tell exactly where they were headed, and the fact the she knew his favorite spot on the palace grounds—that was pretty amazing, too. And after a day like today, he needed this, and she knew that. It was one of the many things he loved about her.

Once they were settled next to each other on the ground near the turtleduck pond, he leaned over for a quick kiss. "Katara, I owe you my life."

She laughed softly. "What was it you said? That seems to be a thing with us?"

"Katara, you _are_ my life."

"Mmm." She kissed him back.

Then, because it was Zuko, he began his usual dance of doubt. "When I said that I needed you, I didn't want you to think… it's not fair for me to ask so much… I would understand if—"

"Hey. I need you, too."

It was like music to his ears. "Really?"

"I do."

There were those words again. They really should stop dancing around the subject.

"Katara, I would give you the world if I could. You deserve so much more than—"

"How about you start by giving me a nation?"

"Even if it's full of close-minded pricks like Satoru?"

"We'll just have to find a way to silence them—uhh, I mean, change their mind."

"Even if it gets bloody hot in the summer and never snows?"

"If it's surrounded by water, then I'll be okay."

"What if there's this hothead ruler with a fucked up family past?"

"Oh, I'm _especially_ interested in the hot ruler."

Zuko saw the desire flash in her eyes and knew she was about to start moving to different beat. But he was still shuffling his feet. "Katara… every time I turn around, I find out some new secret."

"Mmm, okay, so I'm interested in the hot, _mysterious_ ruler." She pushed his tunic off his shoulders. He hadn't noticed how she'd already managed to rid him of his sash.

"No, seriously. It's like bad stuff. I don't want to bring you into—ahhhhh." _Dammit, woman, watch where you put your hands. I'm trying to make a point here._

"So you're telling me the hot, mysterious ruler is also _bad_?" She was undressing herself now, and Zuko was losing his ability to form coherent thought let alone actual words.

"But, Katara…"

"Shut up, Zuko." She then claimed his mouth with a kiss.

A few things went through Zuko's mind at that point. One, should they really be doing this near the turtleduck pond? What would his mother think? Then—who cares? _Mom's not even here._ Second, could they stay like this forever? He always wished he could freeze such moments in time. And lastly, he still felt like they were treating the marriage proposal as if it were a given, but he'd never properly asked, and she never technically answered.

He felt the cool grass underneath him as his vision filled with blue eyes, flowing hair, and bronze skin illuminated in the moonlight... fading moonlight... then reddish moonlight... _What the fuck?_ "Katara?"

"Are you still talking?" She was already on him, around him, daring him to speak again with the sultry look in her eyes and the tantalizing thrust of her hips.

Zuko groaned. "B-b-but the moon. It's..." _What is it, exactly?_

She steadied herself, making sure to keep her position, while arching her back to look up at the sky. As she did this, she ran a hand slowly, _seductively_ up one side her body. Zuko could now care less about the moon and its freakish color-changing disappearing act. Not when magic was happening right here in front of him.

"Oh. That's a blood moon," she said flatly.

Zuko shuddered. He had heard of it before, but he couldn't place it. Just that it didn't settle well with him for some reason.

She then leaned down to gently caress his face. "Don't look so worried. It's okay. The moon is just in the earth's shadow. It will pass soon. Besides, it just means the earth, the sun, and the moon are _aligned_ right now."

With the gestures she made with her body, he understood her meaning. He just couldn't shake the feeling that it was a bad omen. _Something is going to happen._

She could tell she'd lost him, so she pulled away and settled down next to him to watch the eclipse pass. In the South Pole, they used to call it the Fire Moon, and it signaled an impending enemy attack. Maybe the blood moon meant something equally ominous in the Fire Nation. She heard him let out a sigh, like he had been holding his breath all this time, so she propped herself up on her elbow to look at him. She was going to ask him about the meaning, but then he said, "Oh good, there's the silver lining."

She saw what he was talking about—the sliver of shimmery moonlight that was emerging from behind the earth's shadow. "What?"

"It means there's hope? Right?"

"That's on a cloud, you dork." But when he looked immediately crestfallen, she added, "Zuko, you know I am the power of the moon and the power over the blood, right? So you have nothing to worry—mmmmph."

He kissed her, deep and desperate. Because while the moon had been consumed by darkness in the sky, he had been consumed by his own thoughts. About letting go of fears. About making the most of every opportunity. And about how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. The prophecy made him a promise, but their love gave him hope. There was still a question he wanted to ask, but for now, he was done talking.

Sun and moon realigned once more. Fires of passion crashed into waves of pleasure. And when they peaked, it was powerful—like the spring tides that reach their highest under the command of the moon and the position of the sun. And no matter what remained unspoken between them, they both knew they were together as one.

* * *

 **A/N:** The end! Ha! Remember when I said I might use the presidential quote, "A rising tide lifts all boats," as a political/economic reference? Well, given the current state of things (I'm posting this chapter on 11-11-16) I'm about fed up with politics, so instead I decided to end the fic with steamy goodness by the turtleduck pond plus interesting things I learned about the moon, tides, eclipses, etc.

In my headcanon, the blood moon is an Ozai reference. In _Rising Tide_ , I presented how Iroh and Ozai's mother died during childbirth and how this created a rift between Azulon and Ozai. In my Urzai backstory, _Burning Passion_ , I expand on this: Ozai doesn't like blood because he's repeatedly heard the story of how much blood there was when he was born. This is probably why he didn't join the military and why he chooses to rule by fear and manipulation rather than by force. (He really only fights children in canon if you notice.) There was also a blood moon on the night Ozai was born, and it was generally believed to be a bad omen in the Fire Nation (and in other cultures as well).

Here's another headcanon tidbit I'll throw in because I don't know if/when I can incorporate this into the storyline. So after the Winter Solstice, the one where Aang talks to Roku and the Fire Temple is destroyed, Zhao apprehends the Fire Sages and claims he's taking them back to the Fire Lord as prisoners. This is the same Solstice where Shyu receives the prophecy from Roku about "the power of the full moon" and "the power over the blood." ( _Rising Tide_ : Chapter 6, Full Moon Rising). So I imagine that in order to bargain for their freedom in the presence of Fire Lord Ozai—or perhaps he demands the information in exchange for their freedom or something like that—Shyu offers up a modified version of the prophecy to appease him. Ozai thinks he gets the message, something about power and blood and the moon. It must be talking about him, since he was born under the blood moon, right? Therein lies the origin of the Phoenix King as the idea starts to form in Ozai's mind.

Oh, and I should also clear up that I do not intend for Iroh and Ursa to have had or ever have a romantic relationship. Zuko, under the influence of his emotional instability and a couple of shots of whiskey, made that assumption on his own. Why did I include that in this chapter? Because Zuko was getting a little too touchy-feely for me, and I needed him to lash out. But not _at_ anyone. Just a typical Zuko fit. You know what I'm talking about.

So, the third installment is called _Beyond the Silver Lining_ , and the first chapter should be posted in 3...2...1...

As always, thanks again for coming along for the ride!


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